Birthday Kisses
Laura Ingalls P.O.V.
When I turned fifteen, I kissed Andrew Garvey. It wasn't supposed to mean anything. Nellie Oleson was bragging to me about how on every single one of her birthdays since she was twelve, a boy kissed her. Which honestly, I don't know how true that can be. Most of the boys who live in Walnut Grove aren't too keen about her.
Still, it got to me. It made me feel bad about myself.
I had only ever kissed one boy before, Jimmy Hill. Oh...and Willie Olsen, if one would even count that pitiful display.
After school on the day of my fifteenth birthday, a bunch of us went fishing near the creek. It was oddly warm out for February, but I didn't mind one bit. It would have been a great time spent with friends, if only Nellie hadn't decided to follow Willie up to our fishing spot and continued to brag about her life accomplishments like she previously had done in school. Soon it started to get late and most of my friends went home, thankfully including Nellie. My ears were finally given a break from her annoying voice.
The last ones who were left by the water were Andy, Albert, Carrie and myself. The sun had just touched the horizon and Albert was helping Carrie catch this one final fish she had been eyeing up all afternoon. Andy and I were sitting up creek, talking about school. Unfortunately, Nellie's teases were still floating around my head and I guess Andy could sense my sadness by the tone of my voice.
"Why are you getting so upset over something stupid Nellie said?" Andy asked me.
"I don't know." I honestly didn't. When I was little, everything that girl said got under my skin, but I learned to deal with it. Maybe because it was my birthday? Maybe because it was about boys liking me? Maybe because it was the truth?
Boys see me as a friend, as one of them. I play sports like them. I talk like them. I act like them. I work like them. I'm a tom-boy. People always tell me I should learn how to act like a lady. The problem is, when I try to act like all the other girls, I'm never good enough. Mary is the pretty one you'd want to marry. I'm the one you'd want to play baseball with and take fishing.
"Andy? Do you think I'm pretty?" I asked him. I had no idea how he would respond. I just wanted an actual boy's opinion for once, not just ma and pa's.
"Uh." He hesitated. I'm not pretty. "Sure you are." He rushed to fill in the pause.
"You don't sound very sure about it." I rolled my eyes and sighed. It was all true.
"Don't take it the wrong way, Laura." Andy tried to explain himself. "It's just I've always seen you as a friend."
"Just like every other boy in school." I turned away from Andy. I felt horrible about myself. I felt ugly. I felt embarrassed. I felt sad. All I wanted to do was shove my face into a pillow and pray for God to give me a new face, a pretty face.
"Come on, Laura. You are so much better than Nellie Oleson could ever be." Andy was trying to cheer me up. How thoughtful of him. Too bad it wasn't working.
"What if Nellie is right and no boy will ever love me?" I could feel barely tears begin to swell up in my eyes. This is just what I needed right now.
"You know that's not true." Andy grabbed my shoulder lightly and turned me back towards him. "Besides, boys are immature and stupid. It takes a man to love a girl right." The smile that formed on his face was contagious. I couldn't help but laugh along side him. I was still sad though.
"I think the only thing that would make this birthday any better, would be if a boy actually did kiss me so I could go rub it into Nellie Oleson's face tomorrow morning." I said, not even realizing who I was saying it to.
"Well, if that's the only thing that could make your birthday better, then maybe we could find a boy to kiss you or I could." Andy shut his mouth within a quick second, realizing what he had just suggested.
I stared at him. If you asked me if I thought Andrew Garvey was handsome, I'd probably pause then say sure. I've only ever saw him as a friend. "Would you kiss me?"
Andrew shrugged his shoulders. "Since it's your birthday...only if you really wanted me to."
I didn't say anything. I just nodded my head slightly. I watched as Andy moved in closer. I didn't know how he would kiss me. Would it be a quick peak on the lips, like my kiss with Jimmy, or would he make it a long deep kiss? When Andy stopped directly in front of my face, I closed my eyes and tilted my head ever so slightly. Suddenly, his lips were pressed against mine. It wasn't a quick kiss. Andy moved his mouth to deepen the kiss, something I didn't expect of him. But as soon as he did that, he pulled back. My heart was beating fast.
I opened my eyes, seeing Andy flustered and slightly blushing. That's when I noticed my face was heating up too. My second kiss was from one of my best friends on my birthday. I wondered what our parents would think of this little stunt if they were to ever find out.
"Laura! Andy! We should probably head home before it gets too dark." We heard Albert call up to us. I hoped to God he did not see what had happened between Andy and I. It wasn't supposed to mean anything.
"Coming!" I shouted back to my brother down stream. Andy and I both stood up and ran to meet up with Carrie and Albert.
After talking to Albert later that night, after my birthday dinner, I figured he didn't see the kiss between Andy and I. I never told a soul about it and I'm pretty sure Andrew never told anyone either. It was our little secret that we never spoke of.
When I turned sixteen, I kissed Almanzo Wilder. Everybody knows how that kiss went, because I told practically everyone. I told both my parents, Albert, Eliza Jane, my friends and even Nellie. I told them all about how Almanzo started to have feelings for me once I became a teacher. Then, how he punched one of my students out of pure jealousy. And finally, how we sat alone together at the church social and had our first kiss.
It was everything I had dreamed of ever since I met him. Manly looked so handsome and he was so gentle. I felt a million butterflies in my stomach and I could see thousands of fireworks during that kiss. I was so jittery and happy for the rest of the week, knowing that I finally got him. It was worth all that waiting and all those stressful nights. I managed to make Almanzo see me as a woman, not as a little kid, and he fell in love with me.
It wasn't long after our first kiss, maybe a few months, Manly proposed to me by the lake. Of course, I said yes. However, we'd have to wait until I was eighteen, per pa's request. Almanzo was hesitant at first, because he wanted to settle down and marry me as soon as possible. But, after many long nights of talking it over and many heated arguments, he agreed and decided to get a job in the freighting business to save up money for our first home to fill the time. He had to travel a lot, which bothered me. But I knew it won't be long before we would be married and he would be mine forever.
When I turned seventeen, I kissed Andrew Garvey. Well actually, Andrew kissed me. Almanzo was out of town on a freighting trip to Chicago. He promised me he'd come home at the end of my birthday week with a brand new ring as my present. I told him that the band he had given me when proposing was more than fine, but he wanted to see a real diamond ring on my finger. I was so excited.
Nellie and Percival had decided to throw another party on my birthday. Not for me. Percival's parents were coming into town from New York to meet their new daughter-in-law. How that man managed to change Nellie for the better and marry her still baffles me to this day. I think he told me once, he told her she was pretty.
At the party, I was talking to Eliza Jane about school, because we never can get enough of teaching. Then, Harve Miller asked Eliza to dance and he swept her away to the dance floor. I found myself standing alone in the corner of the room, watching everybody else dance to the most beautiful music. That's when I saw Andrew not too far away from me, so I decided to go over to say hi. It had been sometime since I talked to Andrew as a friend. I've been more of his teacher these past couple months, and everybody knows how he feels about school.
"Hi, Andy." I said with an honest smile on my face.
"Hello, Miss Ingalls." Andrew grinned and took a quick sip of his drink.
I shook my head. "We're not in school. You don't have to call me that."
"I'm sorry, Laura. Force of habit."
Suddenly, I did not know what to say next. I hadn't talked to Andrew about anything other than school in months. I had no idea what he was up to, besides almost failing history. I know him and Albert still hang out, but I hadn't really spent much time with Albert in awhile because I was so busy with schoolwork. Andrew was one of my best childhood friends and I had no idea how to talk to him anymore. Is this what growing up did to you?
Better just be honest with him, I always had been before. "So, haven't talked to you outside of school for awhile. What have you been up to lately?"
Andrew gave me a quick laugh. "I don't know if I should tell you. You might rat me out to my parents."
"Come on, we're friends aren't we?" I asked. I didn't know what to do if he said no, we weren't friends anymore.
"Well yea, but you're also my teacher now. To tell you the truth, it still is really strange having you teach the class." Andrew admitted and I could not disagree with him.
"I know. Sometimes I feel like I'm still a student, presenting a whole bunch of projects to the class, not actually teaching them." I tried to explain the feelings I had about being a teacher at the school I learned to read in.
"Will Almanzo let you...when you...married?" I saw Andrew's mouth moving, but I could not understand him over the music. Why did the music get so loud all of a sudden?
"What did you say?" I asked back in a higher volume.
"What? Wait." I saw Andrew motion to the door leading outside to the back of Nellie's restaurant. I nodded and we walked into the darkness of the night together. It felt so nice to step out of the warm, loud restaurant and into the crisp, refreshing air.
Andrew sighed. "I was asking if Almanzo was going to let you keep teaching after you guys get married."
I paused for a second. That was one of the only things Almanzo and I had yet to talk about. "I'm sure he would, at least for a little while longer."
Andrew and I saw a bench and immediately decided to sit down, giving our feet a break from standing up against a wall. "It would be a shame to go through all this work to become a teacher, then have to stop teaching because you got married."
"I suppose you're right."
I watched as Andrew took another sip of his drink. I figured it wasn't punch or water he was drinking. "Oh. Before I forget, I wanted to wish you a happy birthday personal. I know we all signed that card for you during school, but you are my friend."
"Thanks." I couldn't wipe the smile off my face, mainly because Andrew couldn't seem to stop grinning and laughing. What on earth was in that drink? "Hey um...what are you drinking?" I asked out of plain curiosity.
Andrew played around with the glass, then reached it out towards me. "Do you want to try some?"
"Um." I was hesitant. Pa rarely drank, if at all, and Mr. Edwards never drank around us. I always assumed drinking was something a girl should never do.
"Oh come on. It's not that bad, I promise. Albert tried it." Andrew spoke to convince me.
"Really?"
"Yea."
I was still unsure, but figured just tasting it wouldn't hurt anybody. "Alright. Just one sip." I took the glass from Andrew's hand and peered down. It wasn't beer. I know what beer looks and smells like. This was something else. I brought the glass up to my lips and was slow to pour it into my mouth. But once a rush of the liquid hit my tastebuds, I pulled the glass away and swallowed. It had a strong taste that I could hardly describe. Suddenly, there was a strange warm sensation in my chest and a slight burning one in my throat.
"Are you okay?" Andrew continued to laugh. I couldn't even imagine the expression on my face.
I handed the glass back to him and coughed a bit. "I can't believe you actually drink that stuff."
"You feel better the more you drink and you get used to the burn pretty quick." Andrew told me like only a professional could. Maybe I should talk to his parents.
"Just please don't tell anyone you got me to drink that. I don't want to have to deal with all that nonsense." I requested.
"Sure thing." He took a long swig of his drink. "It will be our other secret."
"Our other secret?" I asked, honestly not knowing what he was talking about.
"When we kissed."
My mind instantly went back to my fifteenth birthday at the creek. Was it really two years ago now? I remembered it clearer the more a thought about it. We kept that secret so well, even I started to forget that we ever touched lips. "Right. I can't believe I forgot. It was all Nellie's fault for making me feel so bad about myself."
"And if you're wondering, I've gotten better since that first one." He mentioned, most likely to boost his own confidence.
"First one? Wait. Was I your first kiss?"
Andrew's face instantly went flat. I had the answer to my question without him even speaking a word. "Um...yea. You were."
"I had no idea." I thought back to that kiss again, trying to remember how it felt and subconsciously comparing it Almanzo. "I didn't think you were a bad kisser. Was I?"
"Thanks and no, you weren't. But we were both just inexperienced kids."
"So, who did you get better kissing with?" I smirked, thinking he wouldn't answer my question. I knew boys don't normally talk about those things with just anyone, especially with another girl.
But Andrew shook his head and started to speak, probably thanks to his drink. "Well, there was Jenny Fisher before she moved away, but mostly this one girl from Sleepy Eye."
"Oh." I leaned in hoping for more information about this nameless lover, but Andrew was quick to shut up about the subject. "Well, lucky her for kissing you when you actually know what you're doing."
"And I'm sure Almanzo is the best guy you've ever kissed."
I paused. Jimmy Hill. Willie Oleson? Andrew Garvey. Almanzo Wilder. "Well, to be brutally honest, I don't have much to compare him with." I had only kissed four boys in my entire life.
"Well, do you wanna figure out if he's the best guy you've ever kissed?" Andrew set his glass on the ground.
"What do you mean by that?"
Andrew started to lean in. My eyes widened as I realized what he was aiming for. He was drunk. He had no idea what he was doing. He wasn't thinking. He would never do such a thing. But, when Andrew stopped directly in front of my face, I closed my eyes and tilted my head ever so slightly.
Suddenly, his lips were pressed against mine. It wasn't a quick kiss. Andrew grabbed my shoulders and pulled me in closer to deepen the kiss. He moved his lips hungrily across mine. I could taste the alcohol on his breath. He had to be drunk. There was no way Andrew would kiss me knowing I was engaged to Almanzo, unless he really was wasted and not thinking. Then, I could feel our mouths opening and I felt his tongue running across mine.
That was enough. It had to stop.
My eyes shot open and I immediately pulled back. I didn't even give Andrew a moment to think before slapping him across his face hard. I quickly got up and darted back inside the restaurant to get away from him, before I let him do anything else. I let him do too much. I let him. I felt ashamed of myself.
That kiss was our awful secret, that I prayed to God he would never speak of to anyone. I know I certainly wouldn't.