this fanfiction is for meme reasons only
It was a late summer night, Germany just came back from his weekend of naked hiking. Once he stepped in, he saw something beautiful, gorgeous, indescribable. it was a potato laying on the kitchen counter.
Of course Germany began walking over to it. "Did you miss me?" he asked the potato, but of course we all know that potatoes can't talk, Germany looked the beautiful potato up and down, or rather just looking at it because you can't really look up and down to a potato.
Germany suddenly got a big headache out of nowhere, it went dark for a moment, but when he could see again, it was like nothing has happened. "What was that?" Germany questioned, then the most impossible thing has happened, the potato started taking! it was faint, but you can hear a 'nothing sweetheart' coming from it's direction.
Germany started screaming loudly, as the potato grew to big red lips. "what? it's alright honey!" it said, while Germany is probably having a heart attack.
"You... you can't be real!" Germany said in a quivering voice, firmly grasping onto the counter for support.
"Oh I'm hella real" the potato spoke as it somehow turned around, facing the edge of the counter and started to grew legs. Not only that, but those legs were wearing red high heels and fishnet stockings! Then arms grew out of it too. Once it was finished growing, it walked over to Germany, it stroked his cheek and whispered "never leave me again"
It literally began kissing him as he still was in shock, disbelief and grossed out from what just happened. A potato, with arms and legs, is kissing him.
Luckily for him, he woke up again, he bumped his head and had a concussion. Once he began realizing what happened, he felt something odd in his ass, like he was being penetrated. Germany looked back and saw his big, totally not dead brother, who is extremely drunk, doing his little brother in the butt.
Of course Germany screamed like a little girl, while Prussia has a look on his face saying 'wait this isn't a hot chick'. Germany yelled and scolded him, for not doing it with consent. Once finished doing so, Prussia simply replied with "Look you have a nice ass, if I can pound it a bit more, then I won't tell anyone about this weird fantasy about potatoes, that you have"
At that point he knew he was being blackmailed and so he gave in, under the condition that they won't talk about this night, it was a deal. So Germany was spending the rest of the night moaning with his brother, gay isn't it?
the end
for now