Questions and Concerns
After Bella had been turned, had been able to leave the house, it had taken her a long time - a very, very long time - to realize it. The way people looked at her, how they reacted to her. Leaning in, hanging on to every, single, tinkling word that fell from her perfect lips.
She was irresistable. Men couldn't get enough of her and even women of the most heterosexual type paused to eye her body. She asked Carlisle about it one day. Asked if it was about her looks.
He replied that they were meant to be intoxicating. The same way one can't help but stare at the sleek muscles of a lion, or the smooth, twisting motions of a shark. Humans are a smart prey but they are weak when it comes to beauty and strength.
Bella began to wonder.
She had been her husbands singer.
Mind blocked safely from him, she began to read. And read. And read. Anything she could on vampires, cold ones, whatever you wanted to call her kind. She learned about the ways they drew people in, got them high on the pleasure of beauty, of perfection. Got their blood strumming in their veins as arousal warred with fear, finally winning and stripping the life from the unfortunate soul who had gotten too tangled in the web.
Bella began to wonder more, but when wondering wasn't enough, she began to think.
About all the girls in school who had been in love with the Cullen Clan. The boys who had followed Rosalie and Alice like lost puppies, needy and wanting and young. About how her blood had called to Edward.
About how her blood was the only thing Edward had wanted.
She had sniffed the scent of human blood before, knew how much it pulled at her senses. Wondered how much her blood pulled at her husbands senses. It was the only reason he stayed around.
And then what? She had become like him. He had bitten her, injected her with venom. They had made a beautiful child together.
But what if she hadn't been his singer?
Would he have loved her then?
Would she have loved him if he weren't a vampire? No, because he'd be dead. He'd have died alongside his family, of disease. If he wasn't a vampire, she wouldn't have loved him. He'd be an ordinary pretty boy, not an extraordinary one. And if he wasn't a vampire, she wouldn't have noticed him.
Instead she would have married Jacob Black, the one that had noticed her not by her blood, but by her personality. She'd have normal children, a beating heart, and a husband who worked hard for his money.
She wouldn't have tried to commit suicide, she wouldn't have been driven insane.
Still. It had been her choice.
As she sits, quietly watching her husband and daughter, she wonders.
Was it the right one?
AN: I don't like Twilight. I like the characters. I think SM conveys the wrong message in every single word she has written down. Edward and Bella do not have a healthy relationship, and I could rant for days. But I won't. Instead, I'll write, and you can take a look. You can think about if you agree or not. Most of you won't, because the arguments from my side are old. Some of you might. It's up to you.