A/n: This was supposed to be a one-shot about Bilba and Gandalf's twin girls getting into trouble when they steal Bilba's silverware. And then the Sackville-Bagginses got involved and now I'm looking at a two, possibly three-shot. :P
Thank you so much for this prompt, Jess! I've loved exploring this idea. It's not exactly like we talked about, but the spoons still get used as missiles. I hope you like it, my friend. :D
Disclaimer: Don't own it.
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"We're gonna get in trouble, Dahlia."
The Hobbit/Maia lass was sneaking after her twin sister through the hallways of their smial. She kept glancing around, jumping at each shift in the shadows as if expecting something to jump out and grab her at any minute. She stuck close behind Dahlia, holding on loosely to the back of her dress.
"You know how Mama feels about her spoons." She continued as they made it to the backdoor and exited into the warm summer day. She licked her lips and checked her pocket for the fifth time to make sure that the three spoons tucked in there were in fact still there. "If we go back now, we can return them before Mama knows they're gone. Please, can't we take them back?"
"No." Dahlia answered. She reached back and grabbed her older sister's hand, "Mama won't mind. It's not like we're doing anything to the spoons. She won't even know they've been gone. Now come on!" She tugged on their joined hands, breaking into a jog. Iris sighed, but began running after her.
"Why did we have to use Mama's good spoons? We could have played House just as easily with the regular spoons. Mama said these ones came from Great-Great-Grandma Berylla. They're old. Even Papa's careful when we use these spoons."
Dahlia stopped running. Sighing, she turned to face Iris. "I've already explained that. Every proper house has to have silver spoons. We want our house to be a proper house, don't we?"
"Yeah… but-"
"There's no 'but.'" Dahlia cut in. "If we used the regular spoons, our house would be normal. It be like -" She pursed her lips trying to find an example. "like the Sackville-Baggins' house. I heard Mama tell Papa that Aunt Lobelia doesn't have a set of silver spoons which is why she's always trying to take ours. Do you want our house to be like theirs?"
"No!" Iris grimaced and shook her head. "They're awful. And their house is so boring. I hate having to go to tea there."
"Then we need Mama's special spoons. We'll be careful with them. We'll be back before she even notices they're gone."
"Okay…"
"Come on!" Dahlia grabbed her hand once more and they took off running around the backside of the Hill.
Their mother had no problem with them exploring around the Shire. It had been on one of their "adventures" that they discovered the perfect spot in the entire Shire. It was a short way away from the Party Tree clearing, bordering on a field of corn. In the far corner of the field, there was a small section where a tree had once stood. Its stump sat in the middle and wildflowers grew all around, filling the air with their perfume during the spring and summer. With the corn stalks on one side and a small stream on another, it was the perfect place to set up a "house."
Dahlia and Iris loved to play there as much as possible. Their mother had even given them some old chipped and cracked crock ware to take with them when they went. They'd pretend to be princesses – from the Mountain kingdom of Erebor or the elven haven of Gondolin back in days of old – who were having kings and princes over for tea.
It was to that spot that they headed. They skirted around smials and ducked through back gardens. Finally, they entered the Party Tree clearing and ran over to their special spot.
"See, I told you nothing would happen." Dahlia said as they sat down next to the stump. Iris stuck her tongue out at her.
"It still might." Iris answered, but now that they were at their destination, she seemed a bit more relaxed. "I'll get the rest of the dishes. Who do you want to be today?"
"I don't care. You choose."
Iris pursed her lips, "Why don't we be from Gondor today? Papa makes it sound so interesting."
"Okay! I'll be… Lady...Um, Lady Marwen. How about you?"
"Uh. Lady mmm… Lady Haleth!"
"Okay." Dahlia grinned at her twin, and Iris grinned back. Then she turned and ran towards the stream, ducking down just before reaching it. She pulled a stack of plates, bowls, and saucers from inside a bush and then brought them back.
She and Iris spent the next hour setting everything out and playing that they were rich ladies from Gondor. The silver spoons were the perfect touch, and even Iris admitted that they made the game much more enjoyable. Halfway through their tea party, they were interrupted by their brother.
"What are you two doing?" He asked crossing his arms and tilting his head.
Iris looked up and smiled, "We're playing tea party. I'm Lady Haleth and Dahlia is Lady Marwen. We're from Gondor. Do you want to play? You can be Lord Ecthelion. Papa says he's really nice. Like you."
Dahlia smiled up at him too, "Yeah, Frodo. Come on. It'll be fun. We've even got special spoons. See?" She held up one of the purloined spoons.
Frodo's eyes widened, "Are those Mama's spoons? Does she know that you have them?"
Iris pursed her lips, "Not exactly. We're just borrowing them. We'll return them when we're done. Come on. Please play with us?"
Frodo rolled his eyes, "All right. Who am I again?"
"Yay!" Both girls squealed.
Dahlia reached up and grabbed his hand, pulling him down to sit next to her. "You're Ecthelion. Remember Papa told us about him the other night? Since we're ladies of Gondor, it's all right that we have tea with you." She bit her lip, brow furrowing, "Right? That's okay, isn't it?"
"Of course it is." Frodo soothed. "When we're playing, we can do whatever we want. Now, are you and Iris -"
Iris frowned and elbowed him.
"I'm sorry. Are you and Lady Haleth visiting me or shall I be visiting you?"
Dahlia looked over at Iris.
"Why don't you visit us?" Iris said. "Since we know where everything is, we can be more hospitable than you would be able to."
"All right." Frodo stood back up and walked a few steps away. Then he walked back towards where Iris and Dahlia were sitting. Stopping one step away, he bowed at the waist. "Good 'morrow, Lady Marwen, Lady Haleth. I pray I am not late."
"Not late at all, my lord Steward. Won't you sit down?" Iris motioned to the space in between her and Dahlia.
"My thanks, Lady Haleth." Frodo sat down.
"How are you doing today, my lord?" Dahlia questioned.
"I am very well, thank you for asking. Thank you for asking me for tea."
"It was our pleasure. Lady Haleth, can you get the Steward a cup and plate please?"
Iris nodded, but before she could pull out another cup and plate from where she had stacked the extras, they were interrupted by yet another voice.
"What do we have here?"
All three children looked up to see their cousin Lotho standing over them. He had a big sneer on his face, and his arms were crossed over his chest.
"Nothing, Lotho." Frodo said evenly.
Even though his tone was civil, his eyes narrowed. Whenever Lotho Sackville-Baggins was around it meant trouble, especially when they were the ones around him. His mother had never forgiven theirs for showing back up – and for showing back up with more heirs to keep her grubby hands off of Bag-End. Unfortunately, that animosity had trickled down to Lotho, despite Frodo's and the Twins' best attempts to make friends with him. Mirninhen was a lost cause. She remembered only too well how the entire Sackville-Baggins family had treated her and their family.
"We're playing, Lotho. Go 'way." Dahlia stated, crossing her own arms. "We don't want you here."
Lotho ignored her, instead turning his attention to the objects on the stump-table. "What are you doing? Playing tea party?"
"No. We're being sociable and engaging in matters of the court." Iris said. "And you're interrupting, which is extremely rude. It's not nice to show up to an engagement without an invitation."
Again, Lotho simply ignored the girl's words. Instead, he turned to Frodo, "What are you doing playing tea party? That's for babies."
Frodo narrowed his eyes further and his right hand clenched into a fist, "No, it's not, Lotho. And that's rude to say. Please go away. We'd like to get back to our game."
"What if I want to play?"
"You can't!" Dahlia stood up. "We don't want you here. You always take over and then it's not fun anymore. And we don't have enough place settings. Go away, Lotho."
At the mention of the place settings, Lotho turned to look at the amount of crockery. His eyebrow rose when his gaze landed on the spoons proudly displayed on the "table."
"Isn't that Aunt Bilba's silverware? Does she know you have them?"
Iris bit her bottom lip, and Dahlia looked away.
"She doesn't, does she. I'm gonna tell her."
Before any of them could stop him, Lotho had reached out and grabbed all the spoons laid on the stump.
"Lotho, no! You can't. Those are Mama's!" Dahlia cried.
She lunged after her cousin trying to take back the valuable items. Lotho simply raised them up out of her reach.
"I know they are. And you aren't supposed to have them. You're going to be in so much trouble when I tell her." He turned to walk away.
"No. Lotho!" Iris sprang up and tackled the older boy, knocking both of them to the ground. Iris didn't allow it to phase her. She clambered over Lotho and tried to pull the spoons from Lotho's grasp. "Give them back."
"No. Get off me, you pipsqueak." Lotho pushed against Iris, but couldn't get her off of him. Finally, he simply pulled one of his legs out of her grip and kicked her off of him.
Iris fell to the side with a cry clutching her left eye.
"Iris!"
"Lotho!"
Dahlia ran to her twin while Frodo raced to grab Lotho. His eyes flashed dangerously as he grabbed the older boy's collar and hauled him to his feet. Dahlia knelt by Iris who had tears streaming down her face.
"Are you okay, Iris? Let me see." Dahlia grabbed the hand that was covering Iris's eye, but Iris didn't move it. "I need to see, Iris. Let me see."
After a few seconds, Iris removed her hand. The skin surrounding her eye was red and already starting to puff up. Tears streamed liberally from the organ as it attempted to heal itself from the trauma it had just received.
Frodo's grip on Lotho tightened when he saw the damage done to his sister. "Give me the spoons, Lotho. If you don't, I'll tell Aunt Lobelia what happened, and I'll tell her whose fault it was that her prized peonies were trampled last week."
Lotho simply sneered, "Not a chance. It's her own fault. She shouldn't have tackled me like that. I don't understand why you defend them. It's disgusting. Mother says they're nothing but spoiled half-breeds like their other sister, and that they'll ruin the community. You should –" the rest of his sentence was cut off by Frodo's fist connecting with his mouth.
Lotho's grip on the spoons loosened ,and they fell to the ground. He himself stumbled backwards a few steps, his hand flying up to cup his cheek.
"You hit me!" He exclaimed. He brought his hand away from his cheek. Several fingers had blood on them, and there was a split along his bottom lip.
"Apologize." The word may as well have been a growl coming out of Frodo's mouth. His blue eyes were dark with anger and his jaw was clenched. He stepped closer to Lotho. "Now, Lotho. Apologize for what you just said. It's not true."
"No, I shan't. And now I'm going to tell Mother that you hit me as well."
"I'm going to do more than that." Frodo promised taking another step forward. He was about to hit Lotho once more when, suddenly, the older boy was struck in the forehead with a shiny projectile.
"Ow!"
Both boys looked down to see one of Bilba's spoons lying at Lotho's feet. Then they turned to see Iris standing in front of Dahlia, who now had tears dripping from her chin. Her left eye was swollen half-way shut, but determination and spite still shone brightly from both of them.
"No one says that about my sisters." Iris said, reading another spoon and letting it fly. This time it hit Lotho in the shoulder. "Go away, Lotho."
"Not a chance, Freak."
That name was the final straw. Both Iris and Frodo launched themselves at Lotho.