I'm not what I'd call a comic fan, even casual, or even a Marvel fan despite loving many of the characters through Marvel's digital comics unliminited on their website. But, through this, Hank Pym is now one of my favorite fictional characters . . . ever. So, naturally, I'm enjoying the cartoon a great deal. So I wrote this little oneshot showing a conversation I'd have liked to have seen between Hank and Jan.
Please exscuse me if they're a little out of character. I find it easier to write Hank more like he is in the comics as I prefer him there, and Jan is just tricky. And pardon any references to their comic backstories. The show hasn't shown what those may be so I used their Earth-616 histories for the purpose of this story. There's no official romance as I feel they have a long way to go, but it's hinted at, and there if you squint.
Disclaimer: I don't own the Avengers, Hank, or Jan. They're the property of Marvel Comics, Stan "the man" Lee, Jack "the king" Kirby, and Larry Lieber.
A Moment of Pleasance
When the best term to describe a person's career is "superhero," there usually isn't any true way to define anything they do as normal. But, if asking most heroes, they'd probably tell you that the closest to normal they ever experience would be when there's nothing more out of hand than any other day, and they can take a break from the epic, possibly world-ending battles.
This was one of those days, and for Henry Pym, that meant that he had time to do what he always did when he had free time: work in his lab (and as a scientist, he normally had quite a bit of free time).
And so there he was, in his lab in the Avengers mansion, currently working on a new project. He knew that he found it interesting, but to the rest of his "teammates" it was no more remarkable than anything you could see Hulk or Thor do on a regular basis. Anyway, what he was working on was technically a prototype to a project that he had already invented. Most would find it a waste of time. (And these were more than likely the same people who found Iron Man upgrading his armor cool!)
But that was no matter. His partner, Janet van Dyne, was part of the reason that his current project was even possible. Because she had been so willing to test out the original prototype—had demanded to, actually—he was able to do this. What he had in front of him were a new take on Jan's stingers, only instead of them actually coming through biology, like her wings and stingers of her own, they'd be used through gloves. Maybe someday he'd wear them. But first, he'd probably need a new name and costume. It just didn't seem right for Ant-Man to have stingers. Those were the Wasp's trademark.
And speaking of Jan . . .
His thoughts were interrupted by a giggle, followed by a sound that resembled humming. A familiar voice remarked, "In here again, Hank? Do you have a certain thing against leaving your lab? There something called 'fresh air.' You think you'd know after all those years in school."
He looked up from his project and felt his focused eyes soften as he watched her return to her normal size and height, and her feet plant firmly on the ground. The expression in Jan's own eyes was teasing, but she seemed to be a bit worried as well. When she looked at him that way it made the difference in their age seem all the larger, when it was really only four years, nearly five. She was beautiful, he admitted to himself, but he didn't deserve her. Not after what he'd done before, what had happened to Maria. (No, he told himself, don't think about Maria.)
"I plan to go out later," Hank finally replied when he realized that he'd been staring so long without answering, and that her face had taken on a look of expectance. "I'm busy right now, Jan. I'm so close to inventing something."
She sighed, her previous playful side gone, taking on the more serious side of her personality that most people either didn't see, didn't want to, or she never wanted them to know was there.
"You're always working on something," Jan told him. "And I just don't get it. We have all these opportunities here. We're superheroes, Hank." She looked him right in the eye. "Does that really mean nothing important to you?"
Oh, how he hated that look. He could never lie to her when she was like this. He wanted to. He wished he could say that it didn't interest him, that all he wanted in life was to be a scientist. But it wasn't true. Sure, his biochemist career was important to him, and he did want to gain acceptance for his intellect and for his discovery of Pym particles, but really, the only reason he even was Ant-Man right now was because he'd found a bit of pleasure in saving people, and going on his own small adventures. That was part of the reason he'd given Jan powers of her own.
"It is," he admitted. It was always best to be honest, particularly when a teammate—a female one at that—was not pleased with them. "But I'm just . . . not cutout for this kind of thing." That was true. Compared to the rest of the Avengers he seemed useless. Thor and Hulk were the strongest and mightiest on the planet. Iron Man was popular, had his own company, and was just plain a cool guy with cool armor that always got better. Captain America was quite literally a living legend, and had an indestructible shield. Hawkeye was funny, and was a former specially trained S.H.I.E.L.D agent. Black Panther was a king, smart, and with amazing technology. Then there was him. Even with his "Giant-Man" powers, he was still lacking in power compared to Jan as Ant-Man, who could fly of her own power and had her stingers.
Jan rolled her eyes at that, waving it away. "Not cutout for it?" she repeated. "You don't seem to be much like the Hank Pym I met back before you gave me powers."
She walked over to him and took a seat at the nearest chair. "But really, Hank. That's not what I came here to discuss."
He raised an eyebrow, standing up straight and almost smirked (since when did he do that anymore?) as he asked, "Oh, really? Then what did you come here for?"
If possible, she seemed to become even more serious than she had already been. Her voice took on a heavy tone, and her eyes blinked downward. She looked ashamed. "I'm sorry for . . . earlier. You know—at the fight at the Kree ship? I'm sorry for distracting you and just being a bad teammate, representative of Earth, and just plain a total pain. I should have known better."
Oh, that's what she's here for? It seemed so trivial. Since he'd recovered from the fight and been discharged from the hospital he hadn't felt upset with her at all. In anything, he'd felt guilty and felt the whole thing had been his fault, not hers.
"It's okay, Jan," he said. "I forgive you. You made a mistake. We all made mistakes that day."
She nodded, still seeming unconvinced by his apology. "I know, but . . . I just didn't want anything to happen to you. So when you got hurt—"
"You thought it was your fault?" Hank finished for her, to which she nodded. "It's like I said, I'm not upset with you. You did what you thought was right."
"I know, Hank," said Jan. "I really do. It's just . . . it's so dangerous, us going out there, fighting villains, being the heroes like in comic books. At first it all seemed like a game, but all the time I keep learning that being a superhero, an Avenger, is serious business. I don't know how I keep forgetting."
He walked over to her and put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "We all forget things. If it weren't for you, I'd never have even stayed Ant-Man. I would've quit somewhere done the line, but you made me stay in the game. And now we're Avengers."
"Earth's mightiest heroes," she continued with a grin. When they'd formed the team, Jan had not only named them the Avengers, she'd also gone through the trouble of coming up with words that the whole world would supposedly know them by. She recited the same words. "And on that day, a day unlike any other, earth's mightiest heroes were united against a common threat."
Hank smiled and joined with her on the last part. "On that day, the Avengers were born—to fight the foes no single superhero could withstand!"
They both broke up in fits of laughter, and it felt good, it felt right. The sound of Jan's giggles made him feel warm and whole inside, cliché though it was. He sighed inwardly. He really did have it bad for her. It was too bad that she could never know.
Once both of them had finally calmed down, Jan smiled fully, a lovely sight. "Thanks, Hank. I do feel better now." Then she frowned. "But I still feel like being a hero is a really dangerous job."
He nodded. "It is. But I see it like this: Firemen risk their lives every day to help save people. So do some police officers, or S.H.I.E.L.D. agents. It's what heroes do—we save people."
That she seemed to understand. "I get that. But . . . what if one day we're trying to fight one of our villains and we don't . . . make it back?" When she noticed his pained expression, she added, "Hypothetically speaking."
"Well, with what Tony, Reed Richards, and I are working on, hopefully we'll be making it out, and the villains will be put away," Hank said. But he humored her. "But, hypothetically speaking, I suppose if one of us did . . . perish or were left unfit to battle, I would hope that we're able to save as many people we can for as long as possible."
Jan nodded again. "I understand. Thanks for talking, Hank. I feel a lot better now." She stood up from her chair and wrapped her arms around him, squeezing him tight, as if to make sure that he was still there. He could feel her soft hair and could smell her perfume; it was like the sweet smell of fresh cut daises.
"I'm glad I was able to help."
She gave him one last smile, then shrunk down to her wasp size, and took off flying, calling, "You said you'd leave later! Make sure you keep your promise! I'm holding you to that!"
And once he could no longer see nor hear her, he let out a heavy sigh. He really wished he didn't have to disappoint her. It really felt wrong after a short moment of pleasance in a very stressful and dramatic lifestyle of a superhero/scientist/Avenger.
But why should I? Hank wondered. Why not do what she wants, and make her happy?
He turned around and looked at the Ant-Man helmet sitting on the table, and down at his costume (which wasn't really a costume; it was a just a special suit for going to his anthills for protection from some vicious ants or other creatures the helmet didn't work on) and sighed again, before smiling.
Why not join her? His project could wait. One trip around the city wouldn't hurt.