The Anime Academy Awards
Hosted by Mikara-shirei
Production by Danny's Catering
Catering by GLOMP Productions
Chapter 1: The Bad Beginning
Disclaimer: Trigun, Slam Dunk, Gatekeepers, Toy Story, Harry Potter, Gladiator, Bakuretsu Hunters, A Series of Unfortunate Events, Flame of Recca, Evangelion, Rurouni Kenshin, Lord of the Rings and Danny's Catering do not belong to me, but to Yasuhiro Nightow, Takehiko Inoue, some Korean guy, Pixar Animation Studios, Jo Rowling, some big-time movie studio, somebody, Lemony Snicket, Nobuyuki Anzai, Gainax/Yoshiyuki Sadamoto, Nobuhiro Watsuki, J.R.R. Tolkien and my cranky neighbor, respectively. Why on earth would I want to own Akagi???
Special thanks to R.O.W. Member Legato for editing and reviewing this beforehand...arigatou
I love you Fuuma
Author's note:
AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M SORRY PEOPLE!!! DID I SCARE YOU OFF??!?!?!?
Everybody: Yes you did!!!
Aww, gomen about that. I didn't mean to scare anybody off by the note, so I removed it. Now, all reviews are welcome!! yay!
But still, what YOU'D like to see in the following chapters are most welcomed although make sure to just send any suggestions like what kind of awards should we give out and who you'd like to see in the next chapters to [1]suna_no_hoshi@hotmail.com, and not say them outright in your review because that would ruin the surprise for everybody wouldn't it? ^^ and I'll be sure to take them into consideration. Arigatou for reading that whole thing minna-san...I'll try to keep you laughing now...
All story ideas are copyright Mikara The Ever-Loving and Benevolent Shirei series of 2002
Dedicated to the Fellowship of the R.O.W.
Mikara: Good evening everyone and welcome to the first Anime Academy Awards show. I'm Mikara, and I'm not from any anime; rather I'm from the Fellowship/Academy of the R.O.W./R.O.N/R.O.U. depending on where you are in reading the navy-blue Cattleya notebook on display there in the lobby.
(spotlight focuses on the battered old notebook in the lobby that everyone thought to be an exhibit, hands off please only.)
Audience: ...
Audience Member: Er...we didn't read it.
Mikara: WHAT?!?!!? WHY YOU *bleep* AND *bleeeep* YOU SHOULD *bleeeeeeeep* YOU LOUSY *bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep* !!!!!!! (shoots the audience member) THE NOTEBOOK SHOULD'VE BEEN READ, DAMMIT!!!! NOW HOW ARE ALL OF YOU SUPPOSED TO UNDERSTAND WHAT'S GOING ON?!?!!?? WHO I AM AND WHAT EXACTLY AM I DOING HERE, EVEN!!!!!!!! DIDN'T YOU THINK THERE WAS A REASON WHY WE MADE YOU COME HERE THREE WEEKS IN ADVANCE?!?!?!?!!???
Audience: Uh...no
Mikara: YOU ABSOLUTE IMBECILES!!!!! AAARRGGHH!!! (to backstage) WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SETTING UP THE EXHIBIT FOR THE NOTEBOOK?!?!?!?!!?
(From behind the curtains, the trembling stagehands hold up a shaking Legato Bluesummers like a sacrificial offering)
Mikara: Legato??? What are YOU doing here?!?!?!??
Legato (in that silky voice of his): Being Exhibit Manager and sacrificial offering to you, my Master's, er, something.
(Mikara is either Knives' sister, koibito, or fellow Plant/human hybrid being thingy)
Mikara: Cut the crap, Legato. Now why are you here? Where's Legato??
Legato: I'm right here, what are you, blind or something?
Mikara: Well, technically I am but that's beside the point! Where is my sister???
Legato: But I am not a girl and I am definitely not your sister.
Mikara: Who said I was looking for you?? Where is my sister, Legato BluesumMER, with no `s'? Where is she??? Legatooo!! LEGATOOOOOO!!!!! DOKO WA DESU KA????? (wanders off)
Audience: (sweatdrops) erm...
??: O-okaay...Looks like it's my turn! (hops on stage and pushes Mikara off the stage)
Mikara: LEGAT--eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (falls on Akagi)
(everybody screams)
Everybody: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Feye: She touched AKAGI!!
Kaoru: She's SO brave!!
(fangirls crowd around Mikara, but are afraid to touch her)
Mikara: Oroooooooo......???? (realizes she's sitting on Akagi) AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! HE'S HARASSING ME!!!! SECURITY!!!!!!!!!!
(big burly cops run in and start beating Akagi with their batons)
Mikara: (joins in) TAKE THIS, ECCHI NO BAKA E!!!!!!!!!!
(Mikara and the cops continue beating Akagi up as Kogure tries to stop them from stuffing a baton down Akagi's throat)
Kogure (sweatdrop): Oi, oi, please, enough al--gyahh!! (falls flat on his butt as an officer shoves him out of the way)
Nayomi (swoops in): AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!! KOGURE!!!!! DAMN YOU ALL!!!!! (starts to beat up the cops) KOGURE-SAMAAA!!! I'LL PROTECT YOU!!!!!
Mitsui (stands up): I'll protect you too, Kogure!! (summons the Mitsui Guntai) KOGURE!!!! (rips off his shirt ala Gateau)
(screams, yells, general rowdy dogpile--over Mitsui, that is)
Nayomi (cuts off the head of the last cop): MIKARA!!!!!!!! (whacks Mikara on the head) WHY'D YOU HAVE TO DO THAT TO KOGURE?!?!?!?!??
Mikara (stops stuffing the baton down Akagi's throat): (dazed)..................(recovers) LEGATOOOOO!!!! DOKO, LEGATO????? (lets go of Akagi) MOU, WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!????? LEGATOOOOOOOOO????? (wanders off again) LEGATOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
??: Mikara is unreliable for the first time! Yay! That means I get to host the A.A.A.!
Audience Member: And who are you?
?? (emerges from the shadows): My name...is Hitaka Hoshi! Protector of all man- and alienkind from the evil Zurg empire! And I WILL host this show!
(Hoshi hosts the show)
Hoshi (VERY professional): Good evening everyone and welcome to the first Anime Academy Awards Show. I'm Hoshi, and I'm not from any anime; rather I'm from the Fellowship/Academy of the R.O.W./R.O.N./R.O.U. depending on where you are in reading the navy-blue Cattleya notebook on display there in the lobby. Now I won't bore you with any long introduction like the first speaker did, so let's get it on, shall we?
Hoshi: Our procedure here at the A.A.A. is very simple. We simply announce the category to be awarded, then wait for the Goblet of Fire, which is located to your right (points to right side of the stage) to spit--er, produce the piece of paper with the winning entry written--er, burned on it, and various anime celebrities will present to yours truly the slip of paper and then I will announce the winner of that respective category and then we can all stop sitting on our hands waiting and hoping it is our name which shall be called. Then we will repeat the entire process all over again. May I exhort you to please keep all weapons you may have on your person right now on your person for the rest of the evening, especially you, Dilly-chan--now put away that flame-thrower!
Dilandau: Damn!
Hoshi: .......OK so now that's been taken care of let's start the show!
Russell Crowe: About time! Hoy babae kailangan ko pang magising ng maaga bukas para i-shoot yung Gladiator II no!
Hoshi: TUMAHIMIK KA NGA DIYAN!!! NAKITANG NANDITO NA NGA AT MAGSISIMULA NA NANDIDISTORBO PA! DILANDAU!!!!
[sorry non-Filipino speaking peeps out there, but it just doesn't sound the same in English--hehe ^^;;;]
Dilandau: I don't need (your promises?--heheh) you to tell me twice--
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!! (flames old Russ)
(Old Russ strikes a Maximus pose, then pulls Recca in front of him just as Dilly pulls the trigger)
Recca: Nani!? You dare challenge the leader of the Hokage Clan?!? Take this--SAIHA!!
(Saiha's fire blade slices through Dilly's left cheek)
Dilandau: AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! HOW DARE YOU RUIN MY BEAUTIFUL FACE???
Van (steps in): Yeah! How dare you ruin his beautiful face!? My contract has a clause that EXPLICITLY STIPULATES that I'm the only one who's supposed to do that!!!
Dilandau: WHAT?!?!? I NEVER KNEW ABOUT THAT CLAUSE!!!!! I WANT MY AGENT!!!!!
Legato: You called?
Dilandau: WHAT??? YOU?!?!?!??!!!! I THOUGHT I GOT RID OF YOU AND ALL THOSE OTHER RABID FAN GIRLS!!!!!
Legato: You thought wrong, Dilly-chan. And besides, I'm not a girl, nor am I a guy. I'm a mysterious androgynous stranger! (laughs like Tira) AHAHAHAHAH!!!!!
Dilandau: B-but...You're supposed to be DEAD!!! I KILLED YOU WHEN I BURNED DOWN MERV HEADQUARTERS!!!
Legato: You stupid, my ne'chan's MERV commander! She would NEVER let me die in a fire in her own freaking headquarters! Besides, I'm vice commander myself! Don't you think I would know all the secret passages???
Dilandau: Your sister? SHE HAS A SISTER???? (ominous feeling)
Legato: Yeah! Oh NE'CHAN....
Dilandau: (runs away) EEEEEEEEEEK!!!!! (runs into R.F.G.s, namely, the Rukawa Shintai) EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! (is torn to bits)
(a bit of Dilandau's hair falls near Maki's feet)
Maki: Huh? Gray hair? AHHHHHH!!!!!! NOW I REALLY AM AN OLD MAN!!!!!!!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! (tears out all his hair, which is still all brown) OLD, OLD, OLD!!!!! I'M OLD!!!!!!!!! (runs around) I'M STILL OLD!!!! (rams into LunarChild) (wails to LunarChild) I'M OLD!!!!
LunarChild: Now you're DEAD!!!!
(Maki is too busy ramming other random audience members to care)
LunarChild: HEY! I'm going to kill you here and you don't even give a damn? FINE, IT GIVES ME MORE REASON TO KILL YOU ANYWAY!!!! (brings out her katana and does the lightning-feet thingy that Soujiro does) DIE, UGLY OLD CAPTAIN!!!
Maki: You mean I'm UGLY?? OH MY GOD, SO I'M BOTH OLD AND UGLY!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAA--(is cut in half by L.C. not D. or L.)
Kiyota: Taicho!!!! What have you done to our taicho?!?!?? MAKI-SAN!!!!!! (mourns over Maki's, er, upper half)
Akai: There, there, Kiyota-kun, it's all right, daijobu, daijobu, kiseki datte okoseru...
Kiyota: That gives me no comfort whatsoever!!! WAAAAAAHHHH!!!! MAKI-SAN!!!!
Akai: Leche, nakikiramay na nga, di pa inaappreciate!! Well, what about this?!? (starts kissing Kiyota passionately)
Kiyota: This is MUCH better. (gladly reciprocates)
(the two continue on for some minutes)
Legato: Akai-san, this is supposed to be a General Patronage Show With Major Editing At The End!!! You can't do that!! It's not just mush, it's HENTAI!!!!! The studio executives will be furious!!
Kiyota: Oh yeah? (points upwards)
(the camera follows Kiyota's finger to the studio execs' viewing room thingy at the top of the audience's seats. Inside are Eriol and Yue, apparently mimicking Akai and Kiyota's antics onstage)
Eriol (looks up from necking Yue): Oh, hello there everyone. I'm Eriol Hiiragizawa, studio executive and president of this happy dappy TV station. Pleased to meet you all. (bows his head and therefore resumes necking Yue)
(audience facefaults): errm...
Nayomi (points at Eriol): What the hell is THAT???
Kogure: It's what people who are passionately in love with each other do to calm each other's burning desires.
Nayomi: Oh...(looks at Kogure) Then we should be doing that.
Kogure (sweatdrops): But where??? I-I mean...erm...(blush) Nayomi-chan...
Nayomi (giggles): Oh, you'll see. LATER.
....
Kiyota: `Kai...everybody's imitating us. That's not right.
Akai: Let's move somewhere else.
Kiyota: Where? I don't see a bathroom or a train compartment anywhere near here.
Akai: The ticket booth should do.
Kiyota: Are you sure? (blush) I mean, wouldn't it be too, er, CROWDED?
Akai: No. And it's got curtains, anyway, so we should be more than all right.
Legato: Eww...Akai-san...Kiyota-san...
To be continued
TO THE R.O.W MEMBERS: Gomen for the OOCness people!! Was Kogure too shy? Was Kiyota too straightforward? Was Mitsui too brave? Was Maki making an understatement?? I know Hoshi wasn't OOC at all...kidding, Hosh!! Anyway, review, people!!
TO THE OTHER PEOPLE: Can I (gasp) actually write humor?? Let me know! Onegai!
TO EVERYBODY: I know, I know! Not much Slam Dunk in it, but I promise that there will be more to come!
Legato: With MY help, of course!
References
1. mailto:suna_no_hoshi@hotmail.com
Hosted by Mikara-shirei
Production by Danny's Catering
Catering by GLOMP Productions
Chapter 1: The Bad Beginning
Disclaimer: Trigun, Slam Dunk, Gatekeepers, Toy Story, Harry Potter, Gladiator, Bakuretsu Hunters, A Series of Unfortunate Events, Flame of Recca, Evangelion, Rurouni Kenshin, Lord of the Rings and Danny's Catering do not belong to me, but to Yasuhiro Nightow, Takehiko Inoue, some Korean guy, Pixar Animation Studios, Jo Rowling, some big-time movie studio, somebody, Lemony Snicket, Nobuyuki Anzai, Gainax/Yoshiyuki Sadamoto, Nobuhiro Watsuki, J.R.R. Tolkien and my cranky neighbor, respectively. Why on earth would I want to own Akagi???
Special thanks to R.O.W. Member Legato for editing and reviewing this beforehand...arigatou
I love you Fuuma
Author's note:
AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M SORRY PEOPLE!!! DID I SCARE YOU OFF??!?!?!?
Everybody: Yes you did!!!
Aww, gomen about that. I didn't mean to scare anybody off by the note, so I removed it. Now, all reviews are welcome!! yay!
But still, what YOU'D like to see in the following chapters are most welcomed although make sure to just send any suggestions like what kind of awards should we give out and who you'd like to see in the next chapters to [1]suna_no_hoshi@hotmail.com, and not say them outright in your review because that would ruin the surprise for everybody wouldn't it? ^^ and I'll be sure to take them into consideration. Arigatou for reading that whole thing minna-san...I'll try to keep you laughing now...
All story ideas are copyright Mikara The Ever-Loving and Benevolent Shirei series of 2002
Dedicated to the Fellowship of the R.O.W.
Mikara: Good evening everyone and welcome to the first Anime Academy Awards show. I'm Mikara, and I'm not from any anime; rather I'm from the Fellowship/Academy of the R.O.W./R.O.N/R.O.U. depending on where you are in reading the navy-blue Cattleya notebook on display there in the lobby.
(spotlight focuses on the battered old notebook in the lobby that everyone thought to be an exhibit, hands off please only.)
Audience: ...
Audience Member: Er...we didn't read it.
Mikara: WHAT?!?!!? WHY YOU *bleep* AND *bleeeep* YOU SHOULD *bleeeeeeeep* YOU LOUSY *bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep* !!!!!!! (shoots the audience member) THE NOTEBOOK SHOULD'VE BEEN READ, DAMMIT!!!! NOW HOW ARE ALL OF YOU SUPPOSED TO UNDERSTAND WHAT'S GOING ON?!?!!?? WHO I AM AND WHAT EXACTLY AM I DOING HERE, EVEN!!!!!!!! DIDN'T YOU THINK THERE WAS A REASON WHY WE MADE YOU COME HERE THREE WEEKS IN ADVANCE?!?!?!?!!???
Audience: Uh...no
Mikara: YOU ABSOLUTE IMBECILES!!!!! AAARRGGHH!!! (to backstage) WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SETTING UP THE EXHIBIT FOR THE NOTEBOOK?!?!?!?!!?
(From behind the curtains, the trembling stagehands hold up a shaking Legato Bluesummers like a sacrificial offering)
Mikara: Legato??? What are YOU doing here?!?!?!??
Legato (in that silky voice of his): Being Exhibit Manager and sacrificial offering to you, my Master's, er, something.
(Mikara is either Knives' sister, koibito, or fellow Plant/human hybrid being thingy)
Mikara: Cut the crap, Legato. Now why are you here? Where's Legato??
Legato: I'm right here, what are you, blind or something?
Mikara: Well, technically I am but that's beside the point! Where is my sister???
Legato: But I am not a girl and I am definitely not your sister.
Mikara: Who said I was looking for you?? Where is my sister, Legato BluesumMER, with no `s'? Where is she??? Legatooo!! LEGATOOOOOO!!!!! DOKO WA DESU KA????? (wanders off)
Audience: (sweatdrops) erm...
??: O-okaay...Looks like it's my turn! (hops on stage and pushes Mikara off the stage)
Mikara: LEGAT--eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (falls on Akagi)
(everybody screams)
Everybody: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Feye: She touched AKAGI!!
Kaoru: She's SO brave!!
(fangirls crowd around Mikara, but are afraid to touch her)
Mikara: Oroooooooo......???? (realizes she's sitting on Akagi) AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! HE'S HARASSING ME!!!! SECURITY!!!!!!!!!!
(big burly cops run in and start beating Akagi with their batons)
Mikara: (joins in) TAKE THIS, ECCHI NO BAKA E!!!!!!!!!!
(Mikara and the cops continue beating Akagi up as Kogure tries to stop them from stuffing a baton down Akagi's throat)
Kogure (sweatdrop): Oi, oi, please, enough al--gyahh!! (falls flat on his butt as an officer shoves him out of the way)
Nayomi (swoops in): AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!! KOGURE!!!!! DAMN YOU ALL!!!!! (starts to beat up the cops) KOGURE-SAMAAA!!! I'LL PROTECT YOU!!!!!
Mitsui (stands up): I'll protect you too, Kogure!! (summons the Mitsui Guntai) KOGURE!!!! (rips off his shirt ala Gateau)
(screams, yells, general rowdy dogpile--over Mitsui, that is)
Nayomi (cuts off the head of the last cop): MIKARA!!!!!!!! (whacks Mikara on the head) WHY'D YOU HAVE TO DO THAT TO KOGURE?!?!?!?!??
Mikara (stops stuffing the baton down Akagi's throat): (dazed)..................(recovers) LEGATOOOOO!!!! DOKO, LEGATO????? (lets go of Akagi) MOU, WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!????? LEGATOOOOOOOOO????? (wanders off again) LEGATOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
??: Mikara is unreliable for the first time! Yay! That means I get to host the A.A.A.!
Audience Member: And who are you?
?? (emerges from the shadows): My name...is Hitaka Hoshi! Protector of all man- and alienkind from the evil Zurg empire! And I WILL host this show!
(Hoshi hosts the show)
Hoshi (VERY professional): Good evening everyone and welcome to the first Anime Academy Awards Show. I'm Hoshi, and I'm not from any anime; rather I'm from the Fellowship/Academy of the R.O.W./R.O.N./R.O.U. depending on where you are in reading the navy-blue Cattleya notebook on display there in the lobby. Now I won't bore you with any long introduction like the first speaker did, so let's get it on, shall we?
Hoshi: Our procedure here at the A.A.A. is very simple. We simply announce the category to be awarded, then wait for the Goblet of Fire, which is located to your right (points to right side of the stage) to spit--er, produce the piece of paper with the winning entry written--er, burned on it, and various anime celebrities will present to yours truly the slip of paper and then I will announce the winner of that respective category and then we can all stop sitting on our hands waiting and hoping it is our name which shall be called. Then we will repeat the entire process all over again. May I exhort you to please keep all weapons you may have on your person right now on your person for the rest of the evening, especially you, Dilly-chan--now put away that flame-thrower!
Dilandau: Damn!
Hoshi: .......OK so now that's been taken care of let's start the show!
Russell Crowe: About time! Hoy babae kailangan ko pang magising ng maaga bukas para i-shoot yung Gladiator II no!
Hoshi: TUMAHIMIK KA NGA DIYAN!!! NAKITANG NANDITO NA NGA AT MAGSISIMULA NA NANDIDISTORBO PA! DILANDAU!!!!
[sorry non-Filipino speaking peeps out there, but it just doesn't sound the same in English--hehe ^^;;;]
Dilandau: I don't need (your promises?--heheh) you to tell me twice--
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!! (flames old Russ)
(Old Russ strikes a Maximus pose, then pulls Recca in front of him just as Dilly pulls the trigger)
Recca: Nani!? You dare challenge the leader of the Hokage Clan?!? Take this--SAIHA!!
(Saiha's fire blade slices through Dilly's left cheek)
Dilandau: AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! HOW DARE YOU RUIN MY BEAUTIFUL FACE???
Van (steps in): Yeah! How dare you ruin his beautiful face!? My contract has a clause that EXPLICITLY STIPULATES that I'm the only one who's supposed to do that!!!
Dilandau: WHAT?!?!? I NEVER KNEW ABOUT THAT CLAUSE!!!!! I WANT MY AGENT!!!!!
Legato: You called?
Dilandau: WHAT??? YOU?!?!?!??!!!! I THOUGHT I GOT RID OF YOU AND ALL THOSE OTHER RABID FAN GIRLS!!!!!
Legato: You thought wrong, Dilly-chan. And besides, I'm not a girl, nor am I a guy. I'm a mysterious androgynous stranger! (laughs like Tira) AHAHAHAHAH!!!!!
Dilandau: B-but...You're supposed to be DEAD!!! I KILLED YOU WHEN I BURNED DOWN MERV HEADQUARTERS!!!
Legato: You stupid, my ne'chan's MERV commander! She would NEVER let me die in a fire in her own freaking headquarters! Besides, I'm vice commander myself! Don't you think I would know all the secret passages???
Dilandau: Your sister? SHE HAS A SISTER???? (ominous feeling)
Legato: Yeah! Oh NE'CHAN....
Dilandau: (runs away) EEEEEEEEEEK!!!!! (runs into R.F.G.s, namely, the Rukawa Shintai) EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! (is torn to bits)
(a bit of Dilandau's hair falls near Maki's feet)
Maki: Huh? Gray hair? AHHHHHH!!!!!! NOW I REALLY AM AN OLD MAN!!!!!!!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! (tears out all his hair, which is still all brown) OLD, OLD, OLD!!!!! I'M OLD!!!!!!!!! (runs around) I'M STILL OLD!!!! (rams into LunarChild) (wails to LunarChild) I'M OLD!!!!
LunarChild: Now you're DEAD!!!!
(Maki is too busy ramming other random audience members to care)
LunarChild: HEY! I'm going to kill you here and you don't even give a damn? FINE, IT GIVES ME MORE REASON TO KILL YOU ANYWAY!!!! (brings out her katana and does the lightning-feet thingy that Soujiro does) DIE, UGLY OLD CAPTAIN!!!
Maki: You mean I'm UGLY?? OH MY GOD, SO I'M BOTH OLD AND UGLY!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAA--(is cut in half by L.C. not D. or L.)
Kiyota: Taicho!!!! What have you done to our taicho?!?!?? MAKI-SAN!!!!!! (mourns over Maki's, er, upper half)
Akai: There, there, Kiyota-kun, it's all right, daijobu, daijobu, kiseki datte okoseru...
Kiyota: That gives me no comfort whatsoever!!! WAAAAAAHHHH!!!! MAKI-SAN!!!!
Akai: Leche, nakikiramay na nga, di pa inaappreciate!! Well, what about this?!? (starts kissing Kiyota passionately)
Kiyota: This is MUCH better. (gladly reciprocates)
(the two continue on for some minutes)
Legato: Akai-san, this is supposed to be a General Patronage Show With Major Editing At The End!!! You can't do that!! It's not just mush, it's HENTAI!!!!! The studio executives will be furious!!
Kiyota: Oh yeah? (points upwards)
(the camera follows Kiyota's finger to the studio execs' viewing room thingy at the top of the audience's seats. Inside are Eriol and Yue, apparently mimicking Akai and Kiyota's antics onstage)
Eriol (looks up from necking Yue): Oh, hello there everyone. I'm Eriol Hiiragizawa, studio executive and president of this happy dappy TV station. Pleased to meet you all. (bows his head and therefore resumes necking Yue)
(audience facefaults): errm...
Nayomi (points at Eriol): What the hell is THAT???
Kogure: It's what people who are passionately in love with each other do to calm each other's burning desires.
Nayomi: Oh...(looks at Kogure) Then we should be doing that.
Kogure (sweatdrops): But where??? I-I mean...erm...(blush) Nayomi-chan...
Nayomi (giggles): Oh, you'll see. LATER.
....
Kiyota: `Kai...everybody's imitating us. That's not right.
Akai: Let's move somewhere else.
Kiyota: Where? I don't see a bathroom or a train compartment anywhere near here.
Akai: The ticket booth should do.
Kiyota: Are you sure? (blush) I mean, wouldn't it be too, er, CROWDED?
Akai: No. And it's got curtains, anyway, so we should be more than all right.
Legato: Eww...Akai-san...Kiyota-san...
To be continued
TO THE R.O.W MEMBERS: Gomen for the OOCness people!! Was Kogure too shy? Was Kiyota too straightforward? Was Mitsui too brave? Was Maki making an understatement?? I know Hoshi wasn't OOC at all...kidding, Hosh!! Anyway, review, people!!
TO THE OTHER PEOPLE: Can I (gasp) actually write humor?? Let me know! Onegai!
TO EVERYBODY: I know, I know! Not much Slam Dunk in it, but I promise that there will be more to come!
Legato: With MY help, of course!
References
1. mailto:suna_no_hoshi@hotmail.com