(Keefe's POV)
Tam Song.
He left, for all of us.
I'm dying inside without him. I already miss his inky black hair and silver bangs, even though it's only been a day. I used to tease him and call him Bangs Boy, and he would get so annoyed, but the pink flush tinging his creamy skin would only make him even cuter, because yes, apparently that's possible.
And yes, before you ask, I'm gay. I never actually like Sophie Foster. I used to think I did, but I realize now it was honestly just friendship. Nothing more. And I'm chill with that. I'm glad she's with Fitz, because it definitely makes her happy. The change is evident.
See, I've fallen for Tam Song. Fallen hard. I didn't think it was possible to fall so hard. Especially not for another guy, which is uncommon and not to mention a Bad Match in the Lost Cities. It seems unfair, that people should be looked down upon for loving people of the same sex. Maybe if I was a bit more diplomatic, I could become a Councillor and change that.
But homosexuality isn't unheard of. There have been others, so I've been told. But it doesn't matter, not in my case. You can tell by the way he looks at Biana. I imagine I look at him the same way, although I do try to make it a bit less obvious.
Now I don't even know if I'll get the chance to look at him again. I used to think it was bad when I would have to stand by, watching him enamored with Biana and knowing he would never be mine. But it's nothing compared to this. I just want him back, even if he's not mine. I miss his saltiness and his snarky comments. And his beautiful silver-blue eyes, with the surprisingly long lashes. And all of his super-awesome shadow powers. Sometimes I feel inadequate next to him. I'm just an ordinary blonde, blue-eyed kid who can read other people's feelings, who has a stupid sense of humour and is always doing dumb things. I mean, who would ever like me? You wouldn't know it from the way I act, but I guess that's just my way of hiding my feelings.
I feel like I'm always hiding my feelings; nobody knows my secret. I don't know what my friends would say if they knew, probably stop hanging out with me because I'm a shameful little faggot. But they're all I've got; I can't just tell them or else I wouldn't have anyone else to turn to. My parents have never been close to me, or, I now realize, ever seemed to want anything to do with me. So I stay in the closet.
Sometimes I pretend that things were different, that gay marriage wouldn't be considered a Bad Match and that Tam actually liked me back. One day we would go eat lunch in a quaint little cafe in Atlantis, then spend the afternoon wandering the city and making out. Another day, we'd binge watch movies while cuddling on a couch, and we'd fall asleep in each others' arms. And one night we'd drink a little too much punch at a party, and Tam would shadow-whisper seductively in my ear, and we'd go up to my room and do what couples do.
But those are all just fantasies. I blink, pushing them from my thoughts, for they only make it more painful when I realize that Tam is in danger and none of that will ever be real. The only constant in this equation is me, Keefe Sencen, forever alone. The best I can do is to make sure that other homosexual people have a chance and won't be ruled as Bad Matches and looked down upon their entire lives. Even if I can't become a Councillor, I can still try. It will be hard, without Tam by my side like in all my fantasies, but not impossible.
Still, the ache remains in my chest, as I wish for a certain silver-haired someone who is in mortal danger right now, not even realizing how much I care about him.
A/N: Is it just me that finds these guys super cute and angsty? ...Yes? Okay *runs to corner to ship them*
BTW, to anyone who follows my story When All Is Said And Done, I had written out an entire chapter but it didn't actually save! I will type it out again, I remember what it was, but I don't feel like doing it at the moment. Later. :P