For KiwiOCD and Crazy4Castle who both need a true Caskett-shipper story. Thank U Kiwi for inadvertently giving me this idea as I needed a break from writing the angst/darkness of Tortured Love.
There will be 5 chapters and for this story, there's a recording system in the observation room as well as interrogation ;)
….
Ryan glanced over at Beckett and Castle bickering. He felt like following Beckett's example by rolling his own eyes. Those two were just plain ridiculous.
"It's ludicrous that Mom and Dad haven't hooked up yet."
"Ludicrous? It's freakin' unbelievable," Esposito chuckled. "At this rate Alexis will have a child first before those two finally do the deed. Who would've guessed that Castle would have the restraint of a Saint?"
"Who would've guessed that Beckett could resist her inner fangirl?"
"Not I, that's for sure."
"I'm sick and tired of them finishing each other's sentences."
"I'm sick and tired of all their 'jinx' scenarios."
"I'm sick and tired of walking in on them eye-sexting."
Espo grinned naughtily. "I have to say it's pretty horrific watching Castle check Beckett out."
"Drooling over her is more accurate."
"Si, the way he leers at her chest when he thinks no one's looking."
"Or leans in to take a whiff of her hair."
"And the way he checks out her ass at crime scenes."
"Like he's never seen a woman's jean-clad butt before."
"More like he's never seen a woman's naked ass before."
"Uh-huh, and what about the way she watches him when he's making her coffee?"
"Yeah, and it's just plain sickening the way she coyly smiles when he says something risque."
"No, what's sickening is how she watches his mouth when he speaks in that teasing baritone of his."
"We all see it, - the glances, the touches, the - " Espo shivered, "I'm-dying-to-see-you-buck-naked-smiles."
"Everyone in the precinct sees it from officers to suspects to the lowliest delivery guys."
"It's about time they fucked it out and then maybe things could be more normal around here."
"I agree, but Beckett's too up-tight to admit that Writer-Monkey just might mean more to her than a partner."
"Okay, Dr. Phil," Espo teased. "It's time to put our heads together and think of a plan since they've both been single for several months and – "
The boys turned at the feminine, tinkling laughter that floated down the hallway. The buxom blond in her early 30's, all legs in skin-tight shorts and with cleavage spilling out of her fluorescent pink tank top, clung to Castle's arm. She leaned into him, batting her fake eyelashes as Beckett led them into observation room two.
They couldn't hear what transpired next but by Beckett's exasperated expression and Castle's puppy-dog scowl, it obviously wasn't good. The hottie blondie followed Kate into interrogation and Castle closed the door behind them, standing in the observation room looking like a kid who'd just learned that the Easter Bunny wasn't real.
Ryan got an excited look in his eyes. "Hey, I've got an idea. Follow my lead okay?"
"Sure, bro. Don't blow this though as I can't handle being assigned to desk duty all next week."
"I need you to show some interest in Beckett's suspect."
Javier grinned from ear to ear thinking about the size 4 blonde's muscular legs and toned ass. "Not a problem."
Ryan walked casually into the Observation room with Espo close on his heels.
"Hey Castle. How you doin'?" Ryan inconspicuously hit the record button in their room.
"Fine," he grumbled. "Beckett won't let me in there with Candy Land... She gave me some excuse about being a distraction."
"The stripper's name is Candy Land?" Espo asked and then let out a cat whistle. "I'd play on her game board any day."
Castle smirked, "Officially her name is Candice Littleton, but Candy Land certainly suits her."
Espo continued to leer at her through the glass… "Wo – ah. She's smokin'! Are you interested in tapping that Castle?"
"Me?" the writer sounded surprised. "No. There's no foul. You go for it."
"Hey," chimed in Ryan smoothly, "Put Candy Land in a blue sundress carrying a Nikki Heat book and she could pass for one of Castle's groupies."
"Si," Espo chuckled. "I can picture her now in a Barnes and Nobles waiting in line patiently at one of your book signings… She leans over the desk and shoves her fake boobs in your face, (Espo mimicks a woman's fluttering eyelashes) while she holds out a permanent sharpie and asks you innocently to sign her chest."
"And then she inconspicuously slips him her number."
"Man," Espo slapped him on the back. "I'm envious of your life… All those choices of beautiful, willing women."
"Yeah Castle, you must be one of the most satisfied men on the planet."
"We – lll," and the way he drew the word out had the boys smiling to themselves.
"Let's just say that the 'Playboy' rumors flying around about me, - aren't necessarily true."
"What do you mean?" Espo got up in his face with a look that said, 'You'd-better-not-be-about-to-shatter-my-macho-ima ge-of-you-man.'
"I'll admit, at one time, it used to be thrilling to pick the most attractive fan out of hundreds of women and take them home for the night…"
"You mean the horniest woman," snickered Espo.
"The hottest woman," chimed in Ryan while outlining a woman's curves in the air.
"The woman with the largest breasts."
"The woman who looks like a supermodel but only has half a brain."
"Enough guys," Castle interrupted with a boyish smile. "That was me several years ago… It's not who I am now."
"Well, I'd bet that if you got yourself a taste of Candy Land that you might find yourself back on the Casanova track."
Rick looked horrified. "No, no. She's definitely not my type."
"Not your type? … Blond, beautiful, in a slutty-kind-of-way with skyscraper legs and enormous breasts?" Espo put his hand on Rick's forehead. "Are you sure you're feeling alright?"
Ryan piped up, "He's fine, Espo. We both know his type is more a brunette with skyscraper legs and a domineering personality who knows how to handle handcuffs."
"Right on, Partner," and the boys high-fived each other.
Rick shook his head side to side. "How many times do I have to tell you that we're – "
"JUST friends," echoed throughout the room as both boys said it simultaneously.
"We know Castle, but honestly, we're afraid for you…"
"Afraid? - What's the matter with you two?"
"Afraid you're about to lose your Man Card."
"Si, afraid you've lost your cojones."
Castle's mouth dropped open comically.
"Heey, I can assure you that the Man Card is still present and well-deserved."
"Exactly what we're afraid of…"
Castle didn't like the look the boys exchanged amongst themselves.
"Yep… Just how long has it been since you've used your, umm," Ryan cleared his throat, "Card?"
What? - Were they actually asking him about the last time he had sex?
"Hmmm."
"Jeez, it's worse than I thought, Ryan… He has to think about the last time he got laid."
"Yeah, it's been so long that he can't even remember."
"Guys, it hasn't been thaaat long..." Rick paused to think about it… Oh hell, he knew the last time he'd had sex was with Gina but that was – he gulped – Wow, that was well over a year ago.
Kate had consumed his thoughts for the past 2 years, - been the star of his wet dreams, - some very vivid, erotic dreams at that, and he just couldn't find it in his heart to pick up a bombshell for some meaningless sex when he knew he'd only envision her while fucking a stranger.
Kate's long glossy curls flowing through his fingers. Her satin, creamy skin beneath his fingertips. Her cherry scent enveloped in his sheets. Her long, lithe frame entwined with his own.
"Cas – tle," flowing through her lips in the throes of passion, or better yet, "Casss – lllle!" being shouted in his sound-proof bedroom as she climaxed.
The blood shot to his nether regions and now he was going to have to take a break to the men's room to take care of the problem. He chuckled internally as he was becoming very acquainted with Mini-Castle these days.
"It was when I was with Gina," he mumbled and Ryan immediately put his hand up behind his ear.
"What was that, Castle?... I couldn't hear you."
"Okay guys. So it's been awhile… The last time I had sex was with Gina."
Espo coughed, "Man Card issues."
"NO, there's no issues. Everything definitely works properly down there."
Ryan looked at him critically. "Are you sure, Castle? Let's face it, you've hit middle age, and it's been well over a year. Maybe you should go see a Doctor, have an annual physical, get your package checked out."
"No," Javier piped up comically, "He needs to see an experienced sex therapist as it's NOT normal for a healthy male to go that long without nookie."
"Really, I promise that no medical attention is necessary."
"You do know what this means, right Javi?"
Oh no, here it comes, Castle thought anxiously.
Ryan slapped him hard on the back. "Our boy here is waiting for our long-legged, controlling boss to wet his dry spell."
"Sure looks like it.. Jeez Castle, we've always known you were hoping to get her in the sack but going that long without some mattress mambo means - "
"Guuyys," he droned, interrupting Esposito. "Enough already." He cleared his throat and wrapped both his arms around the boy's necks. "How about I treat you both to some free drinks at the Old Haunt tonight? Ryan, you're sure welcome to bring Jenny, and Javi you can bring your latest one-night-stand."
"Sounds great, Castle. I'm sure my date has a hot friend that can tag along." He flashed him a smarmy grin. "A chica who can help you with your 'Man Card' problems."
He groaned internally as the only hot chica he wanted to help him with his particular problem was sitting on the opposite side of the glass, - green eyes flashing, auburn hair swaying, lovely lips snarling and spewing legal terms to a bubbly stripper who looked like she might be more comfortable wrapped around a stripper pole, than resting in her lingerie at home.
Uggh… Now there was a thought to fuel his KB fantasies for weeks to come…
Kate. Skimpy stripper outfit. Pole. Thigh holster.
Ohhh.
Yeah, Ryan was right… He'd been waiting for Detective Kate Beckett, the drop-dead gorgeous woman who could make him laugh one minute with just a roll of her eyes and the next, make his groin ache with a tiny nibble on her lower lip.
"No chicas for me, Espo," he chuckled. "I've already got one bad-ass woman I can't control."
The boys shared "knowing" grins.
"Tell Beckett I had to leave a little early. Hope to see you guys tonight."
"We'll be there."
As soon as Rick left the observation room, the boys laughingly fed the birds.
After shutting off the recorder, Ryan said, "Now, how do we get Beckett to listen to this, plus get her down to the Old Haunt tonight?"
"Leave it to me… Those two aren't going to know what hit 'em."