Hello Internet*

This story is a crossover story between Doctor Who, Portal, Hetalia Axis Powers, Harry Potter, and Magic School Bus. Now that's not to say you won't understand the story if you don't follow some or any of these fandoms, I'm writing this as if every reader has never heard of any of these 5 franchises. The only thing that people won't get is references, which I love to drop in, and they transcend beyond just these 5 franchises.

I'll also include a brief summary of the franchise before introducing it if I deem it necessary.

For Example: Portal is a game that follows a girl named Chell who has to run tests for/kill/escape a sadistic, sentient robot called GLaDOS. She can only do so with a Portal Gun, which allows her to make two portals on any white surfaces so she can travel to one portal by entering the other. She also has long fall boots that allow her to survive long falls. She is kicked out of the factory by the end of the second (and most recent) game and left in an abandoned field.

Rated T for Captain Jack Harkness, Francis Bonnefoy, (for their respective, though largely unsuccessful, advances on innocent people), also for many things that Mary Whitehouse would disapprove of. I'd say more, but spoilers.

Disclaimer: I own my ideas, but not the ideas of the respective creators of the franchises; hence why this is FanFiction and not just fiction.

Episode 1: The Madman and the Recluse: Part 1

Chell had been living in an abandoned house for approximately one month since escaping from the hellish labs of Aperture Science. She had forsaken one dystopia to enter another. Before her escape, she had been the test subject of a passive-aggressive psychopathic robot who had tried to kill her countless times. Since the escape, she had found an abandoned town amidst grassland. She had encountered no humans, and surprisingly few animals for that matter save the rats. She consequently lived almost entirely on plants. Her new home had a deserted road in the front and nothing but sloping grasslands out back. There was no power; she assumed the machinery was broken. Even if she had a high chance of dying in the labs, she had the "companionship" of various robots that entertained her with their distinct personalities. Here she survived, though not easily, but had little to stimulate her mind. Reading through the many books she found in the house was the only thing that preserved her sanity and made life worth living.

Near Sunset, she was looking through a bookshelf when she noticed what looked like a diary. After heading to the house, she flipped through it, seeing nothing of any value until she stumbled upon a page that was written in different handwriting. It also appeared to have been written in blood, judging by the color and smell. It appeared to give a warning.

THEY'RE IN THE FORRESTS. DON'T DRAW ATTENTION. THEY ONLY ENTER THE PLANES TO HUNT. STAY OUT OF THE SHADOWS.

Of coarse these could just be the writings of a lunatic; that had to be considered. Whatever this writing forewarned would be from the forest, she had never noticed it.

She was still trying to make sense of the warning. She walked out of her house to see a blue box falling from the sky and land about 10 feet in front of her. Awestruck, she watched the door open and saw a man walk out.

"Hello" he said, looking at her. "I'm the Doctor."

Chell was still staring at the first non-robot being she had seen since, well, she could not remember. It was then that she could no longer block out her thoughts. She had spoken before, she was certain of that; but she had no memories of speaking in her life. She knew about life, she knew that she had a childhood, she remembered factual information. But she had absolutely no memories of her life before she started testing for GLaDOS. She had read; she had kept busy so she could ignore that fact.

And what of the man in front of her? He wore a dark grey jacket, a faded pink shirt, and a red bowtie. He was pointing what looked like some sort of metal rod that had a green light at the end at his surroundings. He then walked over to her and started to speak again.

"Curious, the Tardis said I was on Earth, but the levels of Arton energy are much lower than normal. Hey! What's your name?"

"Chell"

"Well hello Chell! It's very nice to meet you. Hmm, there is definitely something different about Earth since I was last here. What year is it?"

"What year?"

"Yes, what year is it."

"I don't know."

"That's new; you humans normally always keep track of time obsessively. You must not be like other people around here if you don't keep track of the date."

By now Chell had gotten over the shock over seeing another person for the first time in her memory.

"How the hell did you get here!? "Chell exclaimed.

"Oh I came in my Tardis, stands for time and relative dimensions in space. You see we just got too close to a black hole and then the navigation system got out of line. It's completely on the fritz it needs a few repairs but I'll get you back working again sexy" he said to his Tardis. "There is definitely something different about Earth from last time but what is… Hey!"

Chell had tired of listening to this raving lunatic who was practically alien. She began to walk back to the house to examine the journal further. Maybe it would explain this Doctor.

"Wait, don't go!" The doctor ran after her. "You're the only human here who can help me figure out what is diff" and it then hit him that she was the only human around and that the street they were on looked like it had been abandoned for a long time. The Doctor ran in front of her and turned to face her.

"What happened to everyone else, where did all the other humans go?"

She continued walking, hoping that this madman would just go away.

"Please you have to tell me, Earth is not supposed to look like this. Chell you have to trust me. I cannot do anything without knowing…"

"Alright I'll tell you what I know if it will get you to shut up. My only memory involves running from a sadistic robot who has tried to kill me on countless occasions. She kicked me out of her maze about a month ago, and now I'm living completely off plants because there are no people on this god forsaken planet; and if it interests you, there are barely any animals here either. Now, you never introduced yourself; Doctor who?"

The Doctor started running towards the house Chell had been walking towards. Chell ran after him, worried about what this lunatic would do to her home; though it wasn't really much of a home. It was more like a base that she stayed at because she had nowhere else to go.

"What the hell are you doing!?" yelled Chell.

The Doctor was too troubled to answer. He entered the house and looked around, appearing to be searching for something.

"Chell," he finally said. "Have you seen anything having to do with shadows; A message, warning, anything!?"

"Stop dodging my question dammit; who are you!?"

"I'm sorry, but right now your life could be at stake if I can't find out what's going on so please, have you seen anything."

Chell picked up the diary and threw it at him. He caught it rather clumsily. He then flipped through it, saw the blood, smelled it (muttering something about human but not quite), and then read the message. His apprehensive expression melted away to reveal one of pure terror.

"Run!" yelled the doctor, leaving the house and running towards his Tardis. Chell ran after him, exasperated by his demeanor.

"What the hell are you doing now!?"

"Chell" the doctor said still running. "You are currently in terrible danger and we have to get back to my Tar…"

Chell knocked the Doctor down with her portal gun, fed up with his insanities. She had never taken the gun off, not knowing how. Nor had she ever removed her long fall boots, seeing as they were screwed into her flesh long ago.

"Now you are going to tell me what the hell is going on right now!" Chell yelled, pointing her portal gun at the Doctor.

"It's the Vashta Nerada; they are an alien insect that in swarms can rip the flesh off a human in seconds. They appear as shadows and they live in the forests but the Tardis probably attracted their attention and we have to go…"

He then noticed that the Tardis was shrouded in shadow.

Chell was unconvinced by the Doctor's words. She started walking towards the blue box. Wishing to examine this "Tardis."

"Don't walk into the shadows they are here! Look at that shadow," he said pointing to the shadow surrounding the Tardis.

"Prove to me that you're not telling me bullshit."

"Where is its source; where does it originate from?"

Chell glanced at the shadow, expecting to see it meet a building, but it extended off into the plain. She then eyed a rat scurry across the street towards the shadow, seeing it walk into the shadow and then in a second collapse as a skeleton belonging to the rat.

Please Review; reviews will help me write more.

H.P, Hetalia, and M.S.B. fans, be patient, your characters are coming soon.

*That was not stealing, but a tribute to CGP Grey, also a tribute to An Abundance of Katherines and its abundant use of footnotes.