For the full back story on this relationship read the first two stories in the "Gems for Jethro" series. The summarized version is that Gibbs met and fell in love with a woman 15 years younger than him named Emerald (Em) in 2010, they got married, he sold his house and moved in with her, and they had twins in April of 2011 (a boy and a girl).
This is just something that came to me and wouldn't let go until I sat down and wrote it. Please read and review!
Gibbs carefully guided the sleek silver Mercedes-Benz convertible along the road, the radio playing quietly as the twins laughed and squealed in the backseat, enjoying the fresh air and sunshine.
Lazily relaxing in the passenger seat, her sandals slipped off her feet, and her legs stretched out onto the dash, Em turned to him. "I am so glad we took this vacation. I guess I didn't realize just how badly we needed a get away until we got here."
Reaching over to take his wife's hand, he just grinned. "From the sounds of it, AJ and Libby agree with you." They both let out a laugh at the sound of their children squealing and giggling in their infant car seats in the back. "It's nice to have a family vacation like this. Hawaii's really nice. This was a good choice." He put an arm around Em's shoulders, pulling her closer to him and planted a kiss on her forehead as she leaned against him. "You know, I can't believe the twins are gonna be a year old next month."
Em shook her head. "Don't go there, Jethro. I'd like to enjoy our vacation, not think about how fast our babies are growing up on us." Finding a way to change the subject, she turned up the radio. "All right! Some good music." She started tapping her hand against her leg in time with the beat of the music and bobbing her head while singing along.
Gibbs rolled his eyes at his wife's odd taste in music. He'd learned that she listened to a little bit of just about everything and never knew what to expect would catch her attention. "What is this, Em?"
"Oh, Jethro, I'm sure you've heard this before. I've got it on my iPod. It's The Ting Tings." She just shook her head at him and went on singing.
"I'm gonna stop off up here for gas. You mind running in for coffee, honey? I'll keep an eye on the twins while I get the gas."
Em sat up in her seat, slipping back into her sandals as he turned off into the gas station, pulling up to a pump. "No, I don't mind at all. I could use a caffeine jolt myself." Before she could grab her purse and hop out of the car, he grabbed her arm, pulling her back to him. "Did you need something else, Jethro?" she asked with a playful grin.
Returning her grin with a mischievous smirk, he leaned in toward her, reaching up to tangle one hand in her long deep red curls, and pressed his lips to hers. When he released her from the kiss and she opened her sparkling green eyes at him, he broke out in a broad smile. "Hm, just that and a coffee and I'll be fine."
She raised her hand to run her fingers through his soft silver hair and gave him another quick kiss before pushing away, getting out of the car then turning back to him. "Sweetheart, you're damn fine. That's just one of the many reasons I married you." With that, she gave one last sly grin as she turned and walked away.
He stared after her slender retreating figure dressed for the Hawaiian heat in a white tank top and a nearly too short floral print skirt baring most of the length of her long legs that he was imagining wrapped around his neck while he did things that made her thoroughly enjoy being married to him. Letting a throaty growl quietly slip out at the thought, he let himself out of the car when she was inside the convenience store and out of sight, and set himself to the task of filling the gas tank while making silly faces at the twins to entertain them.
Em walked into the small store, looking around, taking in her surroundings as was second nature after years spent as a federal agent. A year and a half out of the field now as the Director of the DOD's Specialized Anti-Terrorism Operations hadn't changed the training ingrained in her.
She made her way to the back where the coffee was set up as a self-serve display for customers. There she found a clerk preparing more regular coffee and an older blonde woman already waiting.
"I'm sorry miss. There's decaf if you'd like, but it will be a few minutes before the regular will be ready. We ran out." The clerk offered an apologetic smile as he hurried to prepare the machine then returned to the front of the store.
Em huffed. "What's the point in drinking coffee if you're going to just drink decaf?" she asked no one any particular.
The blonde woman waiting responded. "I know. If I wanted decaf, I wouldn't be standing here waiting for regular. I would have gotten decaf in the first place and been out of here already."
Laughing, Em added, "And if I took a cup of decaf out to my husband, I might as well be handing him divorce papers the way he'd react. He'd probably look at me like I was trying to poison him."
Letting out a laugh too, the older woman nodded. "I dated a man like that once. It was almost inhuman the way he consumed coffee." She turned and appraised Em. "So, you here on vacation?"
"Hm, do I have tourist written on my forehead or something? I take it you live here. Only the locals seem to be able to pick out the tourists." Em looked over the other woman, noting she wasn't likely native to the island, too pale.
Realizing the younger woman was making her own assessment of her, the blonde offered up a piece of information on herself. "I'm not originally from here, but I've been living here for several years, long enough to recognize the tourists. Where are you and your husband vacationing from?"
Em wasn't generally one to chat up total strangers, but she had nothing else to do while waiting for the coffee to percolate, and the woman seemed pleasant enough. "Actually, it's the two of us and our twins. They're almost eleven months old, and this is our first family vacation. We're visiting from Washington."
"The state or the city?"
"Oh, the city." Em clarified.
"So, twins, that's gotta be a handful. Boys or girls?" asked the other woman.
Smiling at the question everyone asked, always assuming they were identical twins, Em answered. "One of each, they're fraternal twins."
"Oh, how perfect. You have the perfectly complete family all at once." The woman's smile faltered for a moment. "I mean, not to say that at your young age you couldn't choose to have a larger family, but with a boy and girl you've got the picture perfect family already."
Em let a grin play at her lips. She opted not to give away the truth of her own age, instead letting the woman believe she was as young as she looked. "Really, it's okay. My husband's much older, so it worked out well for us. I mean, he'd tell anyone who asked that he wants a whole houseful of children, but saying that and actually being able to keep up with a houseful of children in another ten years are two totally different things."
The older blonde woman laughed. "Men like to believe they're invincible to the effects of age sometimes."
A little orange light flickered on indicating the coffee machine was ready finally. Em let the other woman go first since she had been waiting longer then quickly filled two large coffee cups with the hot liquid and snapped on lids while the other woman was adding cream and sugar to hers.
"You both take your coffee black?" the woman asked, to which Em simply nodded and the older blonde scrunched up her nose, making a funny face. "I could never drink it like that, but I had an ex who acted like it was a mortal sin to add anything to coffee." She gathered from Em's look that her sentiments were much the same. "I'd love to see your twins. Are they here with you?"
At the mention of her children, Em's face brightened. "They're out in the car with my husband. He was going to get gas and wait with them while I ran in here to get coffee. You could come out to the car and see them after we pay for these."
"Em, what is taking so long? The twins started getting fussy sitting and waiting." Jethro's voice was clearly frustrated as he crossed the store, AJ in one arm and Libby in the other.
"The coffee machine was empty. The clerk had just restarted it when I came in so I had to stand here and wait, but I've got two cups of hot and very fresh coffee now." She held up the cups, giving her husband a smile.
The frustration disappeared from his face immediately and was replaced with a broad grin. "Mm, now that's worth waiting for." He gave her a little wink. "I'd lean in and give you a kiss, but my arms full of AJ and Libby and your hands full of hot coffee is not a good mix." They both laughed knowingly at the potential disaster that would be.
"While I was waiting, I was having a nice conversation with this lovely woman." Em gestured to the older blonde lady standing off to the side that Jethro hadn't even noticed with his singular focus on his wife. "You know, I never did ask your name."
Having previously been chatty and incredibly friendly, Em's partner in conversation was suddenly silent and drop jawed, staring at Jethro with a mixed look of shock and horrified embarrassment on her face. Her eyes were wide like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming vehicle and she stood frozen in place, looking like she wanted to flee but couldn't make herself move.
Thoroughly confused as to why her new acquaintance would behave so strangely, Em turned to her husband. He was holding their children even closer to him as if they suddenly needed protection from some unseen danger. His jaws clenched together tightly as he ground his teeth. The soft content look in his warm cerulean eyes transformed into an icy cold hard stare growing piercingly intense. "Hollis." It came out more as a feral growl than a greeting.
His response to seeing her obviously hurt Hollis, but she did her best to hide it. "Jethro." She swallowed back the lump in her throat and the tears threatening to form at the sight of the man she loved with all her heart yet ran away from. Now here he was standing in front of her, looking just as incredibly handsome as she remembered him, but with his beautiful young wife just off to his side and his arms full of their children. The sight of him as a family man again, knowing everything he had lost with Shannon and Kelly, knowing she never could have given that to him, was beyond painful.
Em was absolutely beside herself trying to figure out how best to diffuse the situation. Jethro had told her about his past relationship with Hollis Mann, how she had just up and left him when he was finally comfortably settling into things with her. She hadn't exactly broken his heart since he'd never let down his guard that far with her, but she had hurt him enough that he certainly didn't want to see her again.
"Jethro, I had no idea who she was or I would have left before there had been any chance you would have come inside. Let's just pay and get going." Em took a step toward the front of the store, but her husband didn't move.
Gibbs was at war with himself in his own mind. Rationally, he knew he should turn and walk out with his wife without saying a word. However, a part of him was too angry with Hollis for taking off without a word, never giving an explanation, no good-bye, just disappearing. It wasn't that he had been in love with her, because he knew he never had been, but for a woman who talked of wanting a future with him and their time together being an 'investment' she was awfully quick to dismiss him when it suited her which pissed him off.
Hollis wasn't sure what to make of the fact that he wouldn't move, hadn't just turned and left. A glimmer of hope rose within her that he still had feelings for her much as she did for him. It didn't matter to her that he was married and nothing could happen between them, just knowing he held onto something from their past relationship that held him in place, staring at her, even if it was with an angry look in his eyes, made her feel less pathetic for having never stopped loving him after all this time.
Looking from Hollis to her husband, Em was struggling to come up with the right words to calm the storm in Jethro's eyes and could tell Hollis was gathering her courage to speak, which could very well make the situation go from bad to even worse in a matter of seconds. Usually not one to be at a loss for the right thing to say in any given circumstance, this was not the kind of place she'd ever found herself in before. She'd dated her deceased husband Ben since they were teenagers and never had to deal with any jealous exes. Em was at a complete loss at how to best handle this, standing there holding two cups of coffee, watching Jethro look like he was shooting daggers from his eyes at Hollis as he held their children who were happily playing with his shirt's collar and buttons, taking in the sights of everything in the store, oblivious to the drama.
Finally summoning the courage to speak, Hollis opened her mouth and found her voice. "Jethro, it's good to see you again. I never thought I would." A slight blush colored her cheeks as she stared up into his eyes, willing them to warm to her.
Afraid of what he might say or do, Em decided it was best to intervene in some way, even if she couldn't get her husband to leave. "Sweetheart, why don't I leave the coffees here and take the twins out to the car? You can finish this conversation, pay for the coffee, and meet us outside." She set the two cups on the counter, reaching out for Libby who was in Jethro's nearest arm.
Without argument, he allowed her to take Libby, despite the child's mild protests, grabbing onto his shirt while begging for 'Dada'. She was quite the Daddy's girl and generally preferred to be in his arms rather than nearly anyone else's if he was available to her. Once Libby was in her mother's arms, Jethro set AJ on his own feet by Em since he had learned to toddle about for the most part with the help of a hand to steady him.
His daughter settled onto his wife's hip with an arm around her, and his son at her side holding Em's hand, Gibbs met her questioning gaze and leaned in to brush his lips gently against hers reassuringly. Keeping his voice at a low whisper meant only for his wife's ears, he gave her only the barest of explanations. "Just need some closure. It won't take long." She nodded in understanding as he kissed her forehead then put a hand on her shoulder before she walked away. "Em, I love you. I'll be right out." He watched her leave the small store, the door closing behind the three of them then turned back to Hollis just in time to catch a glimpse of the wistful and pained look on her face from watching the exchange between him and his wife. "Don't tell me you didn't think I'd move on eventually after you left, Hollis."
Meeting his gaze, her eyes gave her away before she spoke. "I suppose I didn't. You seemed so genuinely hurt still from the loss of Shannon and Kelly, I really thought you couldn't move on. I thought you would never give me a chance, never give anyone a chance. If fifteen years wasn't enough time to heal those wounds, I couldn't imagine how much time you would need."
He picked up one of the coffees Em had made and took a sip, slightly surprised it was still hot after how long they'd been standing there. He cleared his throat and gave her a cold stare. "I told you I had put it in my past and was ready to move on. You wanted a commitment from me, and I gave what I could of myself. You said the time you spent with me was an 'investment' in our future. I may not have said much, but I took that seriously, Hollis. I was never trying to play games with you. Damnit, Hollis, I was trying to make it work." His voice was venomous, causing her to shrink back.
The tears were on the verge of falling and she blinked furiously to hold them back. Swallowing hard to settle the lump in her throat and steady her shaky voice, she replied. "Jethro, I had no idea you felt that way. I was so in love with you and wanted nothing more than to make a life with you, but when I thought that was impossible… I just… I couldn't face you. I ran instead. If you would have ever, just once, told me that you felt the same way about me, it would have given me the hope I needed to wait it out." Her eyes were pleading with him to tell her now that was how he felt for her.
He shook his head, looking at the cup of coffee in his hand. "You've got it all wrong, Hollis. I was willing to give you what I could of myself, take our relationship seriously, and try to make things work, but I was never in love with you. I cared about you a lot. I was comfortable with you being part of my life. I wanted you enough to want to keep building towards more, but I would have been lying to you and to myself if I told you I loved you." Letting his gaze fall back on her, he saw the tears she'd been holding back finally slide down her cheeks. Part of him felt guilty for being so brutally honest with her, while the rest of him considered it justifiable given how she'd disappeared without even talking to him about the state of their relationship. Knowing he really shouldn't be such a bastard given everything he now had in his life, he softened the expression on his face and let an apologetic look shine through his azure eyes.
Pulling herself together as his features grew kinder, she couldn't help but press him for answers to questions that plagued her mind. "So, is that what happened with your wife? Things grew from something comfortable into more until you finally loved her? Is that what could have happened with us? Eventually we would have gotten married." A fragile smile crossed her face at the thought.
Gibbs took pity on her, but couldn't bring himself to lie to her about it, leaving her only to feel worse about the choice she made to leave him. "No, Hollis. It was never like that for me with Em." He wanted to stop there and save her the heartache, but her eyes were pleading with him to explain himself further. Taking another sip of his coffee, he took in a deep breath, exhaling slowly, gave her the most direct look, and just laid it out for her. "The first day I spent time with her, I knew she was everything I'd been missing. She took my breath away, made my heart stop, and made the rest of the world disappear with just one look. It was like meeting Shannon all over again, something I never thought I'd feel again." Trying to lighten the mood, he gave her a broad smile and let out a laugh. "Trust me, nothing short of that would have gotten me to the altar again after three ex-wives, Hollis."
She tried to smile at that, but it was a feeble attempt as her heart was filled with self-pity for years wasted loving a man she ran away from, knowing she'd likely never see him again. Running into him to find him happily married to an incredibly beautiful younger woman, the father of two adorable children, and have him tell her he never loved her in the first place was a slap in the face and a wound to her pride.
Seeing that Hollis couldn't take much more and knowing Em and the twins were waiting for him, Gibbs decided it was best that he leave. He'd said all he needed to say to her. Picking up the other coffee cup off the counter, he said his final words to her. "I should really get back to my family. You take care of yourself, Hollis." He turned and began walking toward the cash register, leaving her behind.
Not quite ready to see him walk away from her yet, she reached out and put her hand on his arm. "Wait. What if I'm ever in DC again? Would it be okay if I stopped by to see you all? Are you still at NCIS? You still building a boat in your basement?"
He closed his eyes briefly before turning back to her. "I'm still at NCIS for now, but my twenty years comes up this June and I'll probably retire in the next year or two after that. I would like to spend time with AJ and Libby as they grow up since I'm not exactly getting any younger. And no, I'm not building a boat in my basement since Em already owned a very nice sloop we take out. I'm not even living in that house anymore, sold it. Really, Hollis, I think it's best if we just say good-bye now and leave it at that. I'm not the same man you knew, and it would only make things harder for you to spend time seeing my life as it is now." He took a step back, pulling away enough to remove her hand from his arm. "Good-bye, Hollis."
With that, he walked away, paying for his two coffees quickly, passing through the doors, out into the bright Hawaiian sunshine to move on with the incredible life he had now, and completely out of her life full of regret, self-pity, and unrequited love for Leroy Jethro Gibbs.
A/N: You can probably guess that I'm NOT a fan of Hollis Mann, never was. I do hope you'll take the time to leave a review, comment, or feedback on the story! I love to hear from my readers. I seem to have a large number of you, although only a few ever leave me any reviews! Please let me hear from you!
The song mentioned by The Ting Ting's during the car ride is "That's Not My Name". FYI, many of you know I'm an addict to listening to music to help me get through writing scenes. During the conversation between Gibbs and Hollis I was listening to Paramore's "Crushcrushcrush" and a bit of Apocalyptica's "I Don't Care". The first hit more from her side of things and the second more from his side.
And yes, I AM still working on the third book length installment of the "Gems for Jethro" series. I haven't given up on that project! I hope to be cracking down and getting more done on that over the next few weeks. I'd like to release it by mid-January if all goes well. Keep your fingers crossed that I do not suffer through any more surgeries!