Plot: A charity concert, a desperate fan, four balls in the back and Shindo Shuichi is no more. Candles, flowers, poems… but above all, a broken heart.

Disclaimer: No, I still don't own Gravitation!!

Note: This fanfiction has been inspired by John Lennon's death, and by astronomy: "Gravitational collapse of a star occurs at the end of its lifetime, also called the death of a star" (source: Wikipedia)

Just bear in mind I'm French, hence the English mistakes! ;-)

GRAVITATIONAL COLLAPSE

"Oshita Kyoko, sixteen, gave herself up to the police just after the tragic event of yesterday evening. The teenage girl confessed the policemen she shot Shindo Shuichi because her love for Bad Luck's singer was beyond words and she couldn't stand anymore the fact he would never be hers. She waited for the band to get out of Zepp Tokyo clubhouse after yesterday's huge charity concert and asked Shuichi-san for an autograph before getting a gun out of her bag and shooting him four times in the back. The death of the young singer, made public yesterday evening just before midnight, lets thousands of fans all over the country in total dismay. Our reporter, Ayata Shunsuke, is in Tokyo tonight. Fans have gathered around the clubhouse, lightening candles and singing Bad Luck songs. Some have crossed the country today to pay tribute to their idol, laying down flowers, poems, messages and pictures around the place Shuichi tumbled twenty-four hours ago. Shunsuke-san, can you hear us?"

I switch off the TV. Sixteen… I was the same age as her when I pushed the trigger of the gun with both thumbs. I still remember the horrible noise of the detonation. It will echo in my head forever. Will it echo in her head too? She has deprived me from my reason for living, and while I'm boiling with anger at the simple mention of her name, I can't help but feel for the girl. She took his life, but she ruined hers at the same time. She will never be the same again. She will never be pure and innocent again. She'll have to learn to live with what she's done. Shuichi's shade will always hang over her, like Kitazawa's always had over me. It'll be her burden and her constant reminder of the past.

I glanced at my watch. Twenty to midnight. At that same time yesterday, the phone rang and I moaned, blaming whoever it was for disturbing me while I was writing and getting very inspired. I thought it was him. Calling to say the concert went ok and that he was out with Nakano and Fujisaki to some odd Tokyo pub and wouldn't come back before the early hours of the morning. But it wasn't him, it was Seguchi.

"Eiri-san…"

His voice was trembling and didn't have its usual confidence. I knew from the tone of it that something bad had happened, but I hadn't imagined my whole life would have collapsed the following seconds.

"Something's just happened to Shindo-san"

"Something?"

"He's been shot"

Those three syllables stabbed me in the heart.

"What do you mean, he's been shot?" I asked in a cracked voice.

Tohma burst into tears.

"Oh, Eiri, I'm so sorry. Rescuers were there within minutes, but it was too late…"

A few minutes later, I was driving to the hospital, my foot somehow stuck on the accelerator. I needed to see him to believe Tohma's words. I was hoping that there had been some odd mistake, that it wasn't my Shuichi. But then I saw the journalists around the hospital, and I saw their faces when I entered the hall. Seguchi, Mika, Hiro, Suguru, Sakano. All blank. And then I saw him, and I saw the white sheets covered in blood. His blood. Those lavender eyes that will never open again. That mouth that will never sing again. Never kiss me again. I let myself fall onto the white tiled floor, next to his bed, and buried my face into his pale neck. His skin was so cold. "It can't be…" I whispered. "Remember that day in New-York? You said you'd never let me go away from you, but what if you go away from me now, you damn brat?! This just isn't fair! You didn't have the right to do that!" I burst into tears and it felt like it would never stop. I lifted up my head and gazed at him. "What am I gonna become without you, can you tell me?" I screamed, shaking him. "Eiri-san…" Seguchi had kneeled down next to me and placed a hand on my shoulder. I winced and threw myself into his arms, crying my heart out.

I chase away that thought and stare at his mug on the coffee table. It is still half full of the tea he poured himself yesterday afternoon, as he was sitting next to me, jabbering endlessly while I was trying to concentrate on my last novel. I still haven't made up my mind to put the mug into the dishwasher. I take it in my hands and bring it to my mouth. I press my lips against the edge of it, where he pressed his yesterday, and close my eyes. I know this is stupid, but somehow it gives me the feeling to kiss him again. Taste his lips. Stay close to him.

"This is my favourite mug from when I was a little kid"

Damn brat. I remember that day as if it was yesterday, and yet it seems like an eternity ago. I want to go back in time. I want to open the door and see him beaming again in the doorway, carrying his whole life on his back in an enormous bag.

"Pleaaaase, I just wanna be close to you!!"

I let him break into my life and make a complete mess of it. I smile. I liked this mess. It was supposed to be just for one week, but somehow he managed to tame the wild animal I had become such a long time ago and to make me wish he'd stay forever.

I look at his picture on the front-page of today's newspaper. I trace the contours of his face with my fingers. I brush them against his smile. Shuichi. Tears run down my cheeks and I don't even try to fight them back. What would he say if he saw me bawling like that?

"Six years?? You really are cool, Yuki! I cry once a day! You're so totally cool!!"

I'll never forget the way he laughed that day. That annoying but yet adorable laughter will never fill the house again, but it will never leave my heart.

To be continued…

Thanks for reading! :)