This is dedicated to the always wonderful, always supportive Brandy ( dbebrandy) who was AMAZINGLY GENEROUS and helped me get some awesome merch when I couldn't. My grattitude is endless.
Part of her should have known that burying her face in the menu and crouching wouldn't have gone unnoticed by Mulder. Nothing ever did. It was just her first instinctual move when she saw her ex walk into the bar. He looked good, smiling, a young girl hanging off his arm like a trophy. Maybe they were celebrating her high school graduation.
Fucking asshole.
She didn't want to draw any attention to him, or herself, but she heard a gentle psst, and she peeked around her menu to see Mulder mimicking her. "What are we hiding from?" he whispered.
How Mulder of him, following her on simple blind faith. She was just as embarrassed at her frivolous desire to go unnoticed by her ex as she was irritated that it had to happen on one of the rare nights Mulder and her stayed so late they ended up getting dinner together. Quality time with him without mentionings of chupacabras or paranormal activities were few and far between, not only that, but last week had been so hard on him with the Roche case - and she felt like he was finally getting back to his old self. "It's stupid," she whispered back, but not moving to let her face be seen.
"Scull-ee," he whined. "Tell me."
She rolled her eyes before peering over again, "An old boyfriend of mine is here and I don't want him to see me."
"Did he do something to you?" Mulder asked, still confused by her out of character actions.
"No," she corrected, raising her voice a little. "The break-up was just awkward and I don't want him to-"
"Dana Scully, as I live and breathe," she heard a familiar tenor proclaim in faux enthusiasm.
With a sigh, she let the menu fall and she was met with the sight of Paul Staehle standing in front of her with a boastful smile and a protective-puppy Mulder glaring across from her. "Hi, Paul," she sighed, putting the menu down. "How are you?"
"I'm fantastic. I'm here with my girlfriend," he boasted. "What about you, Dana? Is this a colleague?" He was clearly teasing her and she simply drew in a breath to conceal her reaction.
"Y-"
"No," Mulder interrupted, drawing both the parties attentions to him. He smiled the most radiant smile she'd ever seen on his face as he reached across the table and grabbed her hand, stroking the back of it with his thumb. "I'm her husband."
She felt her eyes widen involuntarily as a waiter walked passed and filled their cups, oblivious to the tension. "Married? Really? Since when?" Paul asked.
"Six months ago," Mulder answered, his voice barely concealing his happiness. He was such a good actor it was startling. "But we've been together for a little over four years now."
"Where's your ring?" Paul asked accusatory, trying to catch them in a lie.
"In Dana's line of work, it's dangerous to wear it. She keeps it close to her, but it's personal," Mulder informed seriously, so convincing she could even believe it. She was still reeling from hearing her name and those words come out of his mouth when she heard Paul's disbelieving grunt.
"Huh, well Dana. I never thought I'd see you like this. You were always so...frigid. I'm glad to see you've chilled out," he smiled, as if that was actually a compliment.
"You should probably get back to your date," she responded evenly.
They both watched him leave and Scully turned to Mulder with a raised eyebrow. "Married?" she repeated.
He shrugged his shoulders like a kid with his hand caught in the cookie jar, "You looked upset, so I wanted to help." He noticed he was still grabbing her hand and shyly let go, with a little laugh. "So, why was the breakup awkward?" he asked.
"Because I told him I realized I was a lesbian,"she deadpanned honestly.
A look of embarrassed shock passed over his face and he incredulously asked, "Y-you what?"
She smiled at his expression before explaining, "I know it was awful of me, you should never use someone else's sexual identity like that, but he was so weird."
"Weird's not your thing?" he asked, sounding exaggeratedly disappointed, but she could tell the disappointment was real.
"I like my weird on the spooky side, not the borderline stalker type," she laughed, taking a sip of water to avoid his eyes while he digested that.
"So you told him you were a lesbian?"
She blushed lightly at her youthful antics, "Well," she chuckled in embarrassment, brushing her hair behind her ear. "In my defense, I was in high school, so blame it on childish foolishness. I wasn't receptive to his advances and when I told him I just wanted to focus on my schoolwork he fetishized it."
"Smart is sexy," he mimicked.
She exhaled a small laugh, "Not like that, more like the sexy school girl fetish."
"Oh," he said, his eyebrows shooting up. "How did the lesbian route possibly stop that from happening?"
"Oh, I'm sure he thought about it a lot with his hand, but he left me alone," she chuckled. "And - nevermind," she laughed, shaking her head.
"What?" he asked, fully curious.
"I asked one of my friends to pretend to be my girlfriend, so anytime he came around, she'd be all over me," she explained, blushing.
"Scully, I don't mean to sound like a caveman, or objectify women of that community, but how did that possibly stop him from following you?"
She smiled at his honesty. "Because she could have gotten in a fight with Hulk Hogan and come out without a scratch."
They both started laughing when the waiter from earlier came back over, but instead of re-filling, he gave them a look that could rival a car salesman. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but did I hear you guys say you were married?"
"N-" she started correcting.
"You sure did," Mulder beamed, sending a teasing look to Scully.
"Oh thank god," the young boy exhaled in relief, much to their confusion. He must've caught sight of their curious expressions when he explained, "We were hosting a Newlywed's Game here tonight, but the couples didn't show. There are people who came just for the event and we don't know what to do, and I'm getting in trouble - and I really, really, really, really need you guys to say yes," he rambled, wearing a sheen of sweat acting as an attestment to his anxiety.
"Yes to what?" Scully asked skeptically.
"Will you guys be the couple of the night and play?"
Scully laughed and gently responded, "No, no. I'm sorry." She was surprised to see there were two disappointed faces looking back at her rather than just one.
"Come on," he drew out, pouting his lip like a little kid in the hopes that if he endeared her, she'd agree. "It'd be fun."
"Mulder," she chastised, "You've never remembered my birthday for the past three I've had with you. I'm just sparing you embarrassment."
"Scully, have you met me? When have I ever shied away from public ridicule?" he smiled. "Come on, let's do it"
"No," she stated plainly, looking at the menu while trying to ignore his attempts and the waiter's desperation.
"The prize for the winning couple was a year's worth of free pies, and since you would be the only couple, if you say yes it's a guarantee," the teenage boy offered.
"Scully, the pie. If not for me, do it for the sweet goodness," Mulder pleaded.
She had to admit, as selfish as it was, she was kind of excited to hear Mulder try to answer personal questions about her. He was so absorbed sometimes that she was honestly curious how much he did know about her. That, and she simply couldn't resist the puppy dog eyes he was giving her. "Fine," she sighed relenting, snapping her menu shut and standing up.
She had to bite back a smile at the beaming grin that passed over Mulder's face. Despite his relentlessness, he apparently hadn't expected she'd conceed. However, her smile quickly disappeared as she followed the boy to the impromptu stage. All it consisted of was two barstools with dry erase boards, markers, and hand towels sitting on top - the finishing touch being a microphone standing proudly in between.
She made sure to send Mulder a few pointed glances as she settled into the chair, gathering the materials on her lap. The lights dimmed as the boy spoke into the microphone and it made it impossible to see how many people were actually out in the audience, or even, how many were actually paying attention. She didn't know if that made her feel better or worse, but she didn't spend much time worrying about it as she focused on the boy's words. This was moving too fast and she was already regretting saying yes.
"Lucky for us, we were able to find a newlywed couple to step up and play for us all! So let's allow them to introduce themselves." He turned and gestured to Mulder.
He sat up in his chair and she got a little enjoyment seeing that, despite his previous confidence, he was just as uncomfortable being up here as she was. "Oh, uh, hello. My name's Fox Mulder and this is my wife, Dana Sc-Mulder."
She saw the way his lips twitched when he said wife and called her by his surname and she tried to stop herself from seeing what she wanted to see. "And how long have you been married?" he asked, turning to her.
"Uh, six months," she stumbled, appreciative that their fumbling could be blamed on the newness of their relationship and not the compulsive lying it was.
"Congratulations! So, we've compiled some questions from the audience and a few of our staff and, customers, if you want to participate, write down your prediction on who will win and, if you're right, your meal will be half off! Okay, so, for those that don't know, we'll simply be asking different types of questions and we want to see either who is right, or if they are able to agree. So, let's begin," he exclaimed, grabbing a folded piece of paper out of a bowl. "Where did you go on your first date?"
Scully pursed her lips in thought as Mulder started writing immediately. How was he writing like he already knew? It hadn't even happened. She wasn't sure if he was just making something up, or if he was writing where he would take her? She felt a blush creep across her cheeks when she wrote 'Chinese takeout at his place', as far as she was aware, that was the first thing they'd ever done off the clock together, so it probably counted.
"What did you put Mrs. Mulder?"
"Yeah, what'd you put Mrs. Mulder?" Mulder teased, enjoying this far too much in her opinion.
"Um," she started, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear nervously. "Chinese at his place," she murmured, turning her board around.
Mulder smiled sweetly at her and she instantly knew that wasn't what he'd put and she felt exposed. Every part of her wanted to whisper that she hadn't actually considered it a date. She just thought-
"Bellefleur, Oregon. A romantic walk through the rain," Mulder laughed, with similar chagrin she'd been feeling. She smiled and giggled lightly at the fact he'd put their first case.
"Oh yeah," she mused, pretending like she'd simply forgotten such a strange first date.
The announcer seemed confused, and she could hear the audience chattering amongst themselves, speculating how walking through the rain could be a date. "Um, hahaha," the announcer awkwardly laughed, "Okay, uh so. Next question."
This was going to be a long night.
Soooo, I have a few already, but I mean, you guys ARE THE AUDIENCE, so what pressing questions would you like to have answered? ;)