I think this is my fourth odd pairing coupling fic. so uh.. this is ZidanexTidus because the chick sitting next to me chose it... this has all been in the past hour. Every one of my fics. Is that sad? Probably. Especially because I'm straight and yet I can't think of a good straight pairing to do.

I ran through the sand trying to get to the other side of the beach. Zidane was running after me with this smirk on his face, ready to take me out. I just stole something of his. It was just some page out of his notebook. I haven't even looked at the paper yet and the bastard is chasing after me like the devil. Stupid fucking jerk trying to make me look bad in front of the bitches, Olette and Selphie.

"I'm sorry!" I shouted dodging his wooden daggers he was throwing after me. "You could hurt someone!" I squealed almost getting hit in the back of the knee. Stupid ass has been a thief for years and so he's got all the fucking moves of a fucked up bitch of a pro. "Aw damn why couldn't you of just stolen something from me?" I asked no longer running as I began to fall to the ground of exhaustion...

I hate you Zidane.

I laid back on the beach and stared up at the crystal blue sky not wanting to take another step. I looked at the paper and blushed crimson. What the hell is this?!

A picture... of him on top of me doing god knows what... while we're naked. Fun. Nice one Zidane. No wonder you were trying to kill me for stealing it. The damn bastard didn't want to share his artwork. I wonder how many others he has this of. There's probably a lot because of how popular the guy is.

"You saw it?" Zidane asked crawling on top of me. He was sitting on my waist with his dagger at my throat, a mad look in his eyes. I looked at him curiously and nodded.

"Yea... your pretty good. How many others do you draw pictures like that of? I mean you probably have some of Wakka right? He's real muscular and is probably great in bed. Sora too. Oh and Riku is real exotic." I continued on babbling. Zidane slapped me and then kissed me nice and hard pretty much bruising my lips in abuse. I glared at him then thought 'what the fuck' and decided to close my eyes and enjoy it.

"You fucking bastard." Zidane growled and got up. Before he left me the jerk kicked me in the groin. I cried out and clutched my waist trying not to cry... fucking bitch better be happy I don't have a sword on me... I'd kill him!

The next day I decided to consult with Wakka about this. After telling him what happened... the man proceeded to hit me with the blitz ball. "You're an idiot." he explained and turned to leave. I watched him go for a moment and decided that that didn't go so well. Next person...

Vivi seemed like the best option. I decided that he couldn't possibly hurt me if I told him what happened. To my surprise... he ran away screaming when I got to the picture part. I made the mistake of describing it in detail and then saying Zidane could have one with him. I guess this was wrong in some way or another.

By the end of the day. I felt pathetic. Lulu had decided to set me on fire, Blank punched me, and the paupu fruit said nothing at all. I was disappointed of course but apparently fruits don't talk no matter what Rikku says.

This is when Zidane decided to walk up to me. He was glaring and had his arms folded over his chest. The damn bastard looks so cocky when I don't even know what's going on.

"I'm in love with an idiot. I knew this but I guess i didn't know how far your issues went." He sighed and shook his head. I tilted my own to the side and looked at him curiously. Huh, he's not making any sense.

"How did I make your crush an idiot? Or did I get that wrong?" I asked and then was punched in the gut. Shit. I fucked up again.

"I'm in love with you, now let's fuck and let me retain some of my dignity as a man." Zidane shouted angrily and grabbed me by the front of the shirt. My eyes widened as my mouth formed an O sign.

"Oh! So that's what was going on!" I said happy now that I understand... wait what?