The Good Kind of Stupid
Music played louder than it should, the older teenager in the house contemplated going to the source to get it shut down, but figured it wasn't worth the effort. The two boys playing the music in question didn't even realize the volume, they were too 'busy with homework' as they would claim if asked. Rather than actually working on homework, they were sending each other memes of dogs and cats with their phones on top of the textbooks they should be reading. Despite being in the same room, this seemed to be the optimal way to share photos, for some goddamn reason.
"Dude, look." Apparently this one warranted actual speech. Stan moved to get off his bed, knocking textbooks and notebooks and whatever else had been inside his unzipped backpack all over the floor. Rather than approaching that mess he stepped over it to make his way to Kyle across the room, who had settled at Stan's desk to try to get work done earlier.
Kyle actually had been going between real work and goofing off, so at that moment he looked up from the reading due the next morning, "Oh nice," and immediately looked back down.
Stan's huge smile from the cute dog dimmed a bit, he was expecting a bigger reaction. In all honesty, he was hoping it would have been enough of a conversation starter that they'd stop pretending to do (or in Kyle's case actually do) homework, and move onto something more fun.
In recent years the amount of homework had piled up and the amount of time to spend just playing video games (for real games, not just something stupid on a phone) had dwindled. Especially with each other, since the times they were free often didn't line up. 'Tis the curse of junior year of high school. Hanging out to do homework was essentially the only way Kyle could convince his mom to let him have any social interaction besides school.
Stan was lost in thought walking back to his bed and managed to trip over all the things he'd neglected to pick up earlier, going face-first into one of the open textbooks. It made a loud enough thud that Kyle exited his reading trance to go to his best friend's side.
"You okay, man?" He crouched down next to the other boy, who hadn't moved since falling. A muffled "Yeah," could be heard, sounding almost like their friend Kenny.
After a few moments, Stan mustered the strength to get up, which was harder than it should have been. The physical strength wasn't the problem here, but rather the force of will that took an extra push.
"Ouch," Stan looked to his side when he was sitting up more, seeing Kyle crouched there unsure whether he should be helping or simply observing. The redhead puts a hand forward, which is taken and used to stand up.
Stan moved to sit on his bed, looking at the mess of things on the floor that he could have easily avoided tripping on. "Alright, after dinner I'm picking this shit up," he spoke with conviction, finally having some form of motivation to deal with the mess in front of him.
Kyle was unimpressed and scoffed, "Yeah, you say that," he walked across the messy room to gesture at the shelves and a few other areas, "Just like you said you'd tidy this up three years ago." He wiped a single finger across the surface of a messy stack of comic books, collecting dust.
"Alright, then don't let me live it down if I don't!" Stan stood up to join the other boy on that side of the room, being much more careful as he walked this time. "For real dude, I need to get more organized," he looked down, embarrassed in a way, "It's a real problem for me."
Kyle wiped the dust off his finger onto his pants, and put an arm around his best friend. "I know man. I'll do what I can, promise." He used his other hand to stick out a pinky, because obviously pinky promises are the most reliable form of promise ever made. "You just have to promise you'll actually do it."
Stan knew he was flushed a bit at the contact, not that it was anything new, but he had always gotten flustered easily. Especially in a moment where he's a bit vulnerable, talking about things he's bad at. He smiled at his friend and took the pinky in his, making the agreement official.
They stayed close like this for a few moments, Stan not wanting to move because he liked the feeling of closeness and Kyle mainly just thinking about comforting his best friend. The music that had been previously bothering Stan's older sister was still blaring loudly enough under all of this that the two didn't hear Sharon call them for dinner. So instead they were startled by a sudden knocking, which gave them the cue to separate from each other.
Sharon opened the door with a smile, "Come on guys, dinner," she started to head down the hall, before calling out "Also turn that music down, you're making the whole house shake."
—-
"So wait," Stan was still chewing one of the brownies his mom had made earlier but tried to swallow before continuing, "Your mom's actually letting you sleep over tonight?".
"I know, crazy right?" Kyle opened the door to Stan's room, the space was just as familiar as his own room. They may as well have grown up in this house together, since less sleepovers and hangouts happened at Kyle's. It used to be more equal, but especially with Ike having his friends over more and more since middle school and Sheila being a stressful mom, Kyle much preferred Stan's place.
"There's enough of a chance for a snow day tomorrow that she said it'd be fine." He sat down on the bed, observing the mess that Stan was now holding himself accountable for. "So, what now?"
This was a test. Kyle specifically wanted to see if Stan actually remembered that he was supposed to pick this stuff up. Honestly he wasn't sure Stan even remembered falling and hitting his head, but that's another story.
Stan sat down next to Kyle, and looked at the room in front of them. He knew what he was supposed to do, but was hoping maybe Kyle forgot. "We could always play Apex? You brought your laptop ri-"
The judgmental look on Kyle's face was enough to stop that sentence in it's tracks. Damnit.
Kyle reached out with the hand the pinky promise had been made with to grab Stan's the way they had earlier. His emerald eyes gave a piercing glare, he wasn't gonna let Stan outta this one.
"Right, right," Stan knew he was blushing again. He did that so easily, it was embarrassing. Just being in contact with someone he's so close to was enough to get him like this. He could only make eye contact for a second before needing to turn away. "But you made a promise too, what are you gonna do to motivate me?"
Kyle looked taken aback, wasn't this whole pinky promise reminder and glare thing enough for him? "I don't know dude!" He stood up, then bent down to pick up something of Stan's that'd fallen earlier.
"Seduction won't work!" Stan smirked as he spoke, hoping Kyle'd take the joke well. As soon as the words were in the open air the redhead realized the compromising, bent-over position he was in, and immediately straightened up and turned around. He took the object he'd been reaching for with him, revealing it to be Stan's laptop charging cable.
"Funny," he spoke in a monotone voice, clearly unamused or at least trying to act that way. He walked towards his own backpack in the room and dropped the cable in. "Will a hostage situation be enough?" He zipped up the bag, and put it on his back.
"Finish cleaning stuff up, and you can charge your laptop again," he returned to his previous spot on the bed next to his best friend. "Your laptop's on what, 10 percent?" He looked toward the MacBook also on the bed with them, damn it was crowded on here, which had been blasting music an hour or so ago without being plugged in.
"Oh you are evil." At least for his sake, the evil was working in an effective and ultimately beneficial way. Stan hopped off the bed and knelt down to pick up a few of the books he'd tripped over earlier. He shoved them back in his backpack in a very inefficient way, and with a proud look on his face stood up to move elsewhere in the room.
"Are you gonna like, help or anything?" After what seemed like an eternity (but was closer to thirty minutes) of picking things up off the floor and poorly rearranging them, he had already started to get bored and frustrated. "Because that's what a good best friend would do..." He trailed off and glanced over to Kyle who had resumed his homework from earlier. Part of Stan had hoped Kyle would be watching him, for some reason. He just wanted Kyle's attention again, that was really what started all of this tonight.
Kyle didn't even look up from the book to respond, "Are you really implying I'm not a good best friend?". His voice didn't sound very affected by the comment, he seemed engrossed in the reading once again.
"Yeah." Stan gave the one word reply, stopped shuffling the items around on his desk and turned to fully face the other boy with his arms crossed. He wasn't sure why he was doing this, but he wanted to see where it went. It felt like even Kyle being mad at him would be better than just being ignored in that moment.
Kyle shut his book and actually looked up across the room. "How does that even make sense?" He hadn't stood up yet, but he did set the textbook aside and crossed his arms to mirror Stan.
"I'm just saying, you should help me," he had to stop looking at Kyle once he got the attention he desired, staring into those emerald eyes would be too much for him in the moment. "It's kinda lame that you're just sitting there while I do this," He was trying to make shit up as he went, also wondering how what he was saying would make any sense, "Especially since you're actually good at being organized and junk."
At that, with a sigh, Kyle stood up and walked over to Stan, trying to look him in the eyes but noticing their stares kept missing each other. "Dude, shut up. You know I'm not actually organized," frustrated with the lack of eye contact, he put his hand on Stan's chin to direct his face towards his own. "You don't need to get all passive aggressive, you can just ask for help, you know." He let his hand linger in place for a moment before taking it away, once he could look into the stormy blue-grey eyes of his friend.
"Sorry," was all Stan managed to get out. He was kind of frozen from Kyle's gentle touch on his face, it'd been a long time since anything like that'd happened with anyone. God, Stan was touch-starved. For a boy who craved intimacy, he was horrible at making it known, so he often just suffered silently.
"Dude, are you okay?" Kyle's piercing gaze softened to a more concerned look, he could tell something was on the other boy's mind but he wasn't sure what. He grabbed Stan's hand and led him over to the bed to sit down for a minute.
Stan looked away again, "Yeah no I'm fine." Very convincing, good job Stan. He knew it wasn't gonna satisfy the other boy, so he looked in his direction and shrugged.
Kyle sighed, "Sorry. I can give you your charger back if you wanna be done for the night," he started taking off his backpack and reaching for the zipper.
"It's not that." Stan blurted out, not even really thinking about what he said until it was already said. Unfortunately this lapse in brain function allowed it to be made clear there was, in fact, something bothering him.
"Alright then, what is it?" The genuinely confused look that overtook Kyle's face made Stan smile, it was cute to see him so open when he's normally so closed. Although that really was the issue here, that Stan wanted things to be more open again with the two of them, he wanted more time with his best friend and just to be closer rather than so spread apart.
Of course in his mind he could phrase all of this, but when trying to speak words out loud Stan just froze.
"I miss you."
Ah yes, that perfectly encapsulates the entire emotion that he was trying to get across. It has it all in three short words, playing up the desperation and loneliness while communicating a desire to be closer. Except without proper context it comes across plain stupid since the two boys were sitting inches apart from each other, after having been hanging out for several hours, and planning on sleeping in the same room for the night.
"Like, okay god that sounded stupid," Stan tried to take back what he'd said, to revise the statement out loud. However the flaw in that plan was he still hadn't figured out a better way to say it. "I just, I don't know." Smooth.
"No, I get it," Kyle pulled away a little bit, only in that moment noticing the mere inches between the two of them. "I'm like, distant or some shit, right?" This was the first time Kyle was the one to look away from Stan. "I've noticed it too."
Stan wasn't exactly sure why, but he put his hand on his best friend's. It was enough to make him look back, which ultimately was the goal. "It's not just you. I promise, I've been distant too," he filled the small gap Kyle had created moments ago, inching closer. He really just wanted to hold the other boy in that moment, but he didn't want to make him uncomfortable, so he held back.
"Yeah but it's clearly bothering you more." As soon as he spoke Kyle made a scrunched up face, showing frustration with his own phrasing, "Not that it doesn't also bother me but, like, you know what I mean." He moved a hand to his face and then ran it through his hair, "Who am I kidding, no you don't. I don't even know what I mean." God, he looked nice in that moment. That was the wrong thought to be thinking though, and Stan knew it.
"Dude, it's okay." He finally did reach out to his friend, putting an arm around his waist, holding him close but in a still casual way. "Sorry to bring any of this up..."
Kyle rested his head on the other boy's shoulder, sighing once again. "It's fine. I've just been overloaded," he paused, "By like, school and stuff."
Stan gave his best friend a squeeze before resting his head gently on the other's, "I know. I'm not mad at you or anything," he looked up at the shitty glow in the dark stars the two had put up a few years ago, they weren't glowing since all the lights were still on, but against his dark ceiling it still looked like a night sky. "I just genuinely miss you man, I miss doing stuff with you."
Stan's head moved up more now, off of Kyle's, and focused more on the stars again. "If you could pick anything for us to do right now," Kyle followed the other boy's gaze up to the fake sky above them, "Imagine no homework, no responsibilities, just you and me," he moved his focus to Stan's face, "What would it be?"
That's a lot of pressure, a million different possibilities raced through his mind. Well, more like four or five but they all seemed stupid. This was like, the question he'd been waiting to be asked, but once it came he had no answer come to mind. Until something stupid enough it just might work was realized, "Stargazing."
Kyle was expecting a video game or something, but that was a more exciting answer. "Then let's go," he stood up and extended his hand.
—-
With the two of them being 17, Sharon wasn't too worried about them going on a night-time stroll over to the pond and back. Due to it being January in Colorado, it was cold. However, there was a surprising lack of clouds for a town expecting a big storm the next day. By the time they got to Stark's Pond, they were both somewhat regretting the choice to do this at this moment.
"So like, where's the best spot to look at the stars?" Kyle was counting on Stan, who suggested this to have an answer. However that was a stupid assumption to make because this whole situation was very spontaneous and there was zero planning.
Stan looked over to the clearing near the pond, which was covered in a layer of old snow and ice. "How about over there?" The blanket they had brought with them to lay on wasn't terribly waterproof, again this whole thing was not well-planned, but there wasn't much alternative so they headed over.
After spreading out the blanked, Stan dropped down to lay on it. Kyle was more gentle, actually sitting first before laying down with his head right next to the other's. "So like, what do you actually do when stargazing?" Kyle had only ever seen this happen in shitty romance movies, not like real life.
"Um, I dunno. Talk about stuff, point out constellations." Stan didn't even really know why he suggested this, the plastic stars on the ceiling were all he could focus on when he was asked so he just rolled with it.
Kyle gave him a suspicious look, not that it was actually seen since they were both staring at the sky. "Do you know any constellations? Because I don't."
"Uh..." Stan trailed off, trying desperately to remember anything he might have once known. Failing miserably, he turned on his side to face the other boy and shrugged with one arm. "Sorry, this was stupid."
Kyle noticed Stan's new position, and mirrored it to look him in the eyes before speaking. "It's fine, I love doing stupid things sometimes." He smiled, and if Stan didn't know better he'd have thought he was blushing. Stan looked down, knowing that he himself was for sure blushing, hoping that Kyle'd assume it was just the cold causing it.
"Yeah I guess. Stupid's kinda my specialty." Stan wanted to be closer to the other boy, but didn't want to be the one to close the space between them yet again. To his surprise, Kyle shifted a bit to be able to move a stray piece of hair that was resting near Stan's eye.
Something about the faint light from the stars shining down on his best friend in the most flattering way, and that little bit of contact, was enough to send Stan to some other place in his mind. One that gave him the confidence to lean in to gently kiss the other boy.
Kyle was hesitant at first, clearly not having expected this to happen. However, in that moment, it just seemed right. He squirmed a bit to move closer and kept his hand on the side of Stan's face, while he felt the others' arms wrap around him.
This was something Stan had had occasional dreams about, but never thought would really happen. He always chalked those thoughts up to his loneliness and desperation to just have someone be close and intimate with him, but as soon as he was in the moment for real he realized the flaws in that thinking. It wouldn't be the same with anyone else, it was never just about wanting anyone, it always came back to Kyle.
Kyle, who pulled away after a bit of time had passed, was speechless and was actually flushed for real, no doubt about it this time. He didn't move far away or start running or yelling, all possibilities Stan had considered may happen after the shock of the moment had settled. "Whoa," was the only thing that came out after moments of awkward silence, with the two still embracing one another.
"I'm sorry, I-" before Stan could finish (or even really start) his apology and explanation, Kyle leaned in to a kiss with more confidence than before. This was only Kyle's third kiss, with the first being from a stupid game of truth or dare and the second being moments before. He was pretty unsure about what to do, clumsily pressing his lips against his best friend's.
He'd never really thought about this before, or much about romance or anything. He was so focused on a plethora of other problems, relationships just never came up in it all. Of course he'd felt things for people before, but never strongly enough to act on it. He had never really thought about Stan this way, but in the moment it made so much sense.
No matter what happened, Stan was always the person he came back to. It didn't matter when, or where, or why, he was always the person he could count on. Even recently, when he's been so distant and involved in schoolwork and little else, there was never resentment about it.
Just longing.
"I've missed you too, you know," Kyle laughed a little as he spoke, "I know it probably didn't seem like it."
"It's okay dude, I get it." Stan smiled, comforted by how well this whole situation was going compared to all the hypothetical versions he'd been thinking up for years at this point.
"This was a good idea. A stupid idea, but the good kind of stupid," Kyle reached his hand back to Stan's cheek, "Just like you." He smirked deviously, knowing that wasn't really a compliment.
"That's not nice," Stan perched himself up on his elbow, giving himself a position slightly above the other boy. He still had a smile on his face though, almost exactly matching Kyle's.
"Oh yeah?" Kyle raised an eyebrow, returning to laying on his back, folding his arms behind his head, "Whatcha gonna do about it?"
That statement was a challenge, and Stan was eager to take on whatever it entailed.