Warning: This weird story is T-rated with some very mild M-rated parts. The OC here does not affect the pairings of the story at all. She wasn't even meant to exist in the first place. In short,this story is utter rubbish and I do not even know why I am writing this in the first place.

Disclaimer: Fujimaki Tadatoshi owns Kuroko no Basuke. I, sadly, have no relations to him or Kuroko no Basuke whatsoever, aside from being a fan.

Summary: Akashi stared. How did he and Aomine get into that awkward conversation? Fangirls were meant to be cute. And fluffy. Not those yandere, psychopathic stalkers you find in animes. "I love Kise Ryouta-san. I watch him everyday, in his bath, when he sleeps, I even know the size of his ****. The thing is... I ship him with Aomine-san. " No, they were not meant to be. What was wrong with this particular fangirl?

So, this is just a random story I'm going to post since I have some free time. It will probably be the last in a few months.

Nakano Ayane was an average teenage girl. Sure, she had her obsessions, her dear Kise Ryouta-san who she affectionately calls by the nickname of 'Ryou-chan' whenever she was fangirling alone, and posters of his body in... inappropriate positions littered her bedroom. But everyone had their crazes, right? It was perfectly normal for her to stalk him, to know the exact length of his penis, to know every single part of him. That was the duty of fangirls.

Therefore, when she decided to confess to Kise, it happened to be a Tuesday, a day of basketball training. Walking to the basketball court which the first-stringers used for practice, Ayane got her speech ready. She knocked on the door and waited.

"Yeah? What're you here for?" a lazy voice drawled out. She looked up, and passionate onyx eyes met nonchalant navy blue ones.

"I would like to speak to Kise Ryouta-san," she said firmly.

"Sorry, but Captain told us to chase away any of Kise's fans."

"I don't care. Let me in."Ayane started to push Aomine forward.

"Woah! Hey! What is wrong with you?! Are you even a girl!? Why are you so strong!?"

*RUSTLE* *SHOUTS* *BANG!*

"What is happening here?"

Aomine looked up helplessly. "Akashi! Help me! This crazy girl is a fangirl of Kise! And she wants to come in!"

Akashi simply looked Ayane in the eye, and she had to admit that his heterochromatic eyes were rather unsettling.

"Akashi Seijuro-kun, can I speak to you and Aomine-san for a while? Just a little while?" she pleaded.

Akashi raised an eyebrow. Aomine snorted.

"It's about the wellbeing of Kise-san!"

It was Aomine's turn to raise an eyebrow. Akashi sighed and said, "Follow me."

"So, what did you want to say about the wellbeing of Ryouta that warrants my attention?"

'Ryouta. He said Ryouta!' She fangirled.

Akashi and Aomine were comfortably sitting on two chairs, while Ayane sat so straight that her body made a 90°curve.

Ayane steeled herself and said, "I love Kise Ryouta-san. I watch him everyday, in his bath, when he sleeps, I even know the size of his ****. And recently, I have found him to be limping. Apparently, he has injured his leg and does not want anyone to know. But the most important thing is... I ship him with Aomine-san, and you, Akashi-kun, are a threat to the AoKi community!"

Akashi stared with an expressionless face. Aomine had his puffed out cheeks reddened despite his dark skin.

"Look! I even have proof!" Ayane reached in her pocket to get her phone out.

... LOADING... KIAKA STORY... LOADING...

SUCCESS! PAGE LOADED!

"Say my name, Seijuro," a deep, husky voice belonged to Kise Ryouta said. A moan as Kise sucked on Akashi's neck and hit the jackpot. "Ryou...Ta!" Stripping Akashi's clothes from his body, Kise proceeded to take his pants off. "Lube or no lube? Let's take it fast, yeah?" Circling his penis around Akashi's hole, he slowly slid it in, letting the tight feeling sink into him. Looking at Akashi's face, which was filled with a mixture of pain (mostly pain) and pleasure, he came to the fascinating discovery thay Akashi was still a virgin. A loud moan was heard, and Kise smiled. So that was Akashi's sweet spot.

(Authoress' note: I fainted at this point. No idea how I could even write that in the first place. Should I change this story's rating to M?)

Aomine was totally red-faced and chortling at that point. What was with The Akashi, acting so submissive?

"And let me show you an AoAka story! Be aware that it contains rape!"

"AoAka? That would mean... Akashi and me!? And rape!?"

The unconscious Akashi had just awoken from his long slumber, just to find himself on a bed. His wrists and ankles bound to a the bedposts. Looking around warily, he saw a clothed figure at the far side of the room. "Aomine...? What do you want from me? Why am I here?" Aomine turned to him, grinning. "You knew I loved you, and yet you still ran away with Tetsu. I'm here to punish you." Aomine walked closer towards Akashi, and -

"That is enough for me to understand your point. Now, do you mind telling me who the juvenile delinquent who wrote those stories is? I feel obliged to pay them back." came a sickly sweet voice. (That would be me, Akashi.)

Aomine shivered at the tremendous murderous aura emitting from the red-head beside him.

"Aomine-cchi! Akashi-cchi! Hello! And... Gyahh! Thr creepy stalker girl!" Kise entered the room, horror-stricken the moment his eues landed on Ayane.

"Hello, Kise-san. I ship you with Aomine-san, but Akashi-kun here is a threat. Look at these fanfictions."

Kise read the stories, and died from excessive bleeding of the nose. Kise then somehow managed to make it back to the world of the living.

"Kise..."

"Aomine-cchi..."

Ayane and Akashi walked out of the room at the same time, but for two totally defferent reasons. For Akashi it was to get out of that fanatical nonsensical situation which would definitely make him grow a tentacle (Authoress' note: I didn't see this coming, either.). For Ayane, it was to give the newly-born couple some space.

Yay! Happy ending?

OMAKE:

"Akashi-kun, did you know... That I actually ship you with Kise-san, and not Kise-san and Aomine-san?"

"Of course I knew."

"How?"

"I am absolute. I know everything, and all that I say is absolute."

Case report: Teiko Middle School's gym used for first-stringers of the basketball team was flooded with sweat. The police believe that the cause of the flood was a major sweatdrop by some people.

Now.. This is really the end. What did you guys think? Dumb and a waste of time? Utterly weird? Fanatical and nonsensical? That I deserve to grow a tentacle? Well, just drop a review, please!

(P.S. I know that thos is not humor, but I'll just put it as such, anyway.)