Crystal Clear Judgment
Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Marvel or Hasbro. I own Farrah/Persiana and Leon/Crisis. Red Witch owns the Misfits.
One Shot
Crystal, the Inhuman Elementalle princess, sighed happily. She was wearing an all yellow costume, her blonde hair bouncing around. Today, the West Coast Avenger was going to meet the man of her dreams…again.
No one was quite sure how she was able to get to the East Coast Misfits' base so quickly. One idea was she kept stealing the Quinjet to make good time. In fact, that is exactly what she was doing. In order to test that theory, Leon, the teen Avenger called Crisis, had decided to guard the Avengers' transport. He, along with Carol Danvers, the teen Avenger Miss Marvel, were taking watch, trying to figure out if, and how, Crystal was stealing the Quinjet.
Farrah Willows, the feline teen Avenger Persiana, growled as she walked down the halls of the compound. The lioness muttered,
"Stupid Danvers. Getting some stupid assignment to guard some stupid jet and putting stupid moves on my boyfriend."
She made a mental note to play a mean prank on her arch-nemesis when she was done, and give an earful to her boyfriend.
Crystal, who had been waiting for the opportunity, found it as she saw Farrah walk down the hall way in a foul mood. She grinned, an evil plan formulated in her mind. The blonde Inhuman rubbed her hands and went to work.
She called out,
"Oh, Farrah."
The white-haired teen turned around,
"I'm in a bad mood, Crys. Whatever you have to say, can wait."
Crystal shook her head,
"Oh, no. This can't. I just came by the landing bay and Carol had Leon pinned to the floor, making out with him."
Farrah's feline green eyes widened. She clenched her fists and roared,
"THAT BITCH IS DEAD!"
She sprinted on all fours toward the landing bay as fast as she could. Crystal grinned evilly,
"Sucker."
Leon looked up,
"Did you hear something, Carol?"
The Air Force brat shook her head,
"No, I didn't."
The door to the landing bay was sliced off its hinges. Persiana shrieked,
"BARBIE! PREPARE TO DIE!"
The red-eyed hero shook his head,
"Farrah, I want you to calm down."
Farrah whined,
"But, Leon! How could you even kiss those lips?"
Carol shot back,
"We haven't kissed…yet!"
She turned and puckered up, planting a big kiss on Leon. Enraged, Persiana tackled her arch-nemesis and the two rolled on the floor, a cat-fight breaking out. Crisis tried to restore order. He sighed,
"This cannot get any worse."
A teen girl's maniacal laughter echoed through out the bay and, as Leon turned, he ducked down as the Quinjet launched out of the bay, Crystal at the controls. The red-eyed hero, and the two teen girls looked at what was happening. The red-eyed teen swordsman groaned,
"Monica is going to kill me if I don't get that jet back!"
He quickly flew after it. Miss Marvel shouted,
"Leon, wait!"
She was about to join her teammate when Persiana pounced on her,
"Not unless you take me too, Barbie."
The two flew off after the teen they both liked.
Meanwhile…
The East Coast Misfits were enjoying a typically normal day. That means there were explosions, and hormonal women chasing the men they liked around the base. An obvious example was Lionheart and Barbacue. Lionheart screamed,
"Come back here, luv! You're only making this more fun for me!"
The Boston firefighter shouted,
"Help! She's nuts! Someone, do something!"
Of course, Shipwreck was trying his best to impress Storm with one of his poems he had sent over. Storm sent an envelope back. As soon as Shipwreck opened the letter, he was pelted with hailstones and a lightning bolt.
Beach Head was on guard duty again. He held his rifle up and shook his head,
"It's too quiet, by Misfit's standards. There's going to be an attack soon, I can feel it."
Just then, he saw an object coming in over head. Being an Army Ranger, Beach Head did the most sensible thing, according to his training.
He started firing, shouting,
"Intruder! Intruder!"
Beach Head's rifle was in bad need of calibration because every shot of his missed the Quinjet. The jet continued on its course, eventually coming in so low that it clipped Beach Head and sent him, along with the guard station, careening into the hanger. Beach Head looked up, moaning,
"Owie."
He then saw his stuffed bear Sergeant Snuggles ready to be perforated with the falling guard station. Acting heroically, Beach Heat covered Sgt. Snuggles' body, allowing the wooden planks to knock him unconscious.
Although damaged, the Quinjet was still functional and Crystal opened the door. She scampered out and looked around, shrieking,
"QUICKSILVER! I'VE COME FOR YOU!"
At this, there was a girlish shriek. Pietro bolted, shouting,
"WANDA, HELP ME!"
Scarlet Witch shouted back,
"Oh, no! She's your girlfriend! I am not having another flaming tornado shoved in my face again!"
Crystal followed the sounds of the shouting and eventually managed to find the love of her life.
Crisis arrived a few minutes later. He blinked at the damage that was there and shook his head,
"Monica is going to kill us if this goes any further."
He looked and saw Beach Head just getting up from the rubble. The Army Ranger looked back and shouted at Crisis,
"This is the second time she's been here this week, and it's only Monday! Get her out of here right now!"
Crystal, hearing this, roared,
"NOT UNTIL QUICKSILVER AND I GET MARRIED!"
The silver-haired speedster ran and hid behind Leon,
"Please, you've got to help me! She's nuts!"
The red-eyed hero folded his arms,
"From what I hear, you're supposed to be a hit with the ladies."
The speedster shook her head,
"Not like this! I mean, I am, but not her! She's nuts, and I hang out with Pyro, so I know how nuts he is!"
Crystal cleared a path and jumped up and down excitedly,
"There you are! There you are, my stud!"
She glared angrily at Crisis,
"If you know what's good for you, you'll get out of my way!"
Leon shook his head; there was no way out of this. He could risk Crystal's wrath and hope Carol and Farrah would rescue him, or abort his mission, which was to recover the Quinjet and Crystal. Either way, Monica was going to be steaming mad when she got back.
He sighed,
"I can't win, can't I?"
"CRYSTAL!"
Persiana dropped down and Miss Marvel landed. The Air Force brat shook her head,
"Crystal, we're taking you and the Quinjet back to base. You can't be out here."
Crystal whined,
"But, I want to be with Quicksilver!"
Wanda shouted,
"For God's sakes, take him away! We don't want him here anymore!"
Pyro added,
"But who would I get to set on fire?"
Wanda said,
"There's always Beach Head and Shipwreck."
The insane flame user nodded,
"Oh, right!"
He opened a lighter,
"Come on, Mr. Flickers, let's see if we can find Shipwreck."
Crystal began sobbing,
"Pietro, if you love me, make them go away so we can be together!"
The son of Magneto shook his head,
"No use in getting rid of her, is there?"
Later…
Pulsar was reprimanding the four of them,
"How could you let this happen?"
She glared at Carol and Leon,
"You two were supposed to be on guard duty, and look what happened! I get a call from General Hawk about Crystal invading the base and stealing the Quinjet! How could you let that happen!"
Carol said,
"Blame Farrah! She started it!"
Farrah shot back,
"You were trying to steal my boyfriend from me! Of course I'm not going to take it lying down!"
Leon moaned,
"This is definitely one of the worst things that could happen to a guy like me."
Pulsar nodded,
"You're right! You and the others are all going to clean the new Quinjet top to bottom! And you're going to do it all night if you have to! Got it?"
She stormed off. Leon sighed,
"We got off easy."
He turned and sighed,
"Not again."
Carol had dunked Farrah's head into the bucket after Farrah threw a sponge. Right now, the two were tussling around in a cat-fight. Leon shook his head,
"It's not easy being an Avenger here."
End of One Shot