Title: Red Handed
Genre: Humor/Parody
Ratings: M
Pairings: X27, a tad bit XS, and some 27F
Prompt: "oops!"
Summary: Prompt from ALoonyToony.
Disclaimer: Akira Amano owns Katekyo Hitman Reborn.
Forewords: I wrote this when the language server in my brain broken (a.k.a. unable to think of synonyms and metaphors) so I'm sorry if the story is a bit monotone…
Warnings: AU, no mafia-thingy, perhaps OOC-ness too, and M because this include or freaky lovely Varia bunch :)
"Hey, new maid! Wash these!"
Levi dropped the basket full of his dirty clothes on the floor, startling the said maid. He stomped away right after he saw the maid bowed and offered a sincere smile at him, leaving her alone in the spacious Laundromat. She sighed desperately as she made her way to pick the basket, all the while complaining why the Varia need a maid to wash their clothes while they have Laundromat in their huge base.
As she tried to reach out for the basket, she smelled something terribly stink and quickly backed away. Upon further inspection, she realized that the smell came from Levi's clothes. She furrowed her eyebrows, wondering what the electric man did that caused the unbearable smell. Nevertheless, she had to wash them, or she would be fired immediately.
…Not like she cared about that, though.
Anyway, she was about to pick the basket—this time she protected her nose and mouth with a masker to resist the smell—when a pair of rubber gloves thrown at him without warning. She managed to control herself from snapping at whoever rude enough to do that to her and looked up, and her chocolate eyes met with his teal ones.
Fran.
"You should use those when you're going to take Levi-san's clothes," he suggested, "They'll electrocute you if you touch them bare-handed."
The maid frowned, but wore the rubber gloves anyway. When she tried to grab one of the black coats, she swore she saw a flash of electricity that quickly died away. "Oh great…I wonder if it'll be okay to throw them into the washer…" she grunted, staring at the clothes in despair.
"It'll be fine. I once throw all those into the washer, when I was still very new, and it turned out fine."
"Well…if you say so…"
So the maid took the basket and, surprisingly, imitated what Fran said: throwing Levi's dirty clothes into the washer, all at once, and quickly turned on the machine after adjusting correct measurements and all. She smiled smugly and turned around, intending to thanks the teen when he saw Fran put his dirty clothes into one of the other washers in there.
"You can just ask me to do it for you, Fran-kun," she said, now standing next to Fran,
The young Mist Guardian shook his head lightly. "I can't possibly disrespect Decimo and asked him to do housework for me."
The smile that stayed on the maid's lips until just now disappeared, replaced with a cute pout. "How many times do I have to tell you not to call me Decimo right now, Fran-kun?" she asked in undertone.
"I don't see why I'm not allowed to call you like that, Sawada-sama. None will hear us in here."
The maid, also known as Vongola Decimo or Sawada Tsunayoshi, sighed in defeat. He didn't thought that Fran would be able to see through the real illusions Chrome and Mukuro casted on him so he would appear like a real woman. Yet again, the boy was known to be one of three illusions that was able to deceive the Vindice, so Tsunayoshi wasn't quite surprised.
By now, you probably wondered why Tsunayoshi disguised himself as a maid and worked for the Varia, right? Well, he did it on purpose, and that purpose was to watch over the Varias secretly. It was Reborn's idea in the first place, to have someone spying on Varia's core members secretly and inspected whether they planned to take over Vongola once again, and that genius hitman thought that Tsunayoshi himself had to do the field work.
So, back to the current time, they had finished on washing and drying the clothes. Fran excused himself as he took his own basket full of clothes and let Tsunayoshi all alone again in the Laundromat, taking his time to fold the clothes neatly. Finally, after what seemed like hours, he managed to fold them all and now all he had to do is to deliver the clothes to Levi's room.
Tsunayoshi smiled as he strolled down on the hallway. In order to arrive to the Varia's Thunder Guardian's room on the second floor, he had to pass over Xanxus' office and go upstairs via the spiral staircase close to the office. Perhaps he could hear something or two, and found out about something…if they were truly planning to attack him soon. With that thoughts played in his mind, he quicken his steps and finally arrived to the hallway where the staircase and the office located.
He took a deep breath, calming himself and thinking that he should run away quickly if he found nothing and Xanxus or Squalo caught him red handed for eavesdropping in front of the office. He walked as quiet as he could, slowly heading to the front door of Xanxus's office. When he finally stood before the chamber, he lowered his hold on the basket within his arms and intended to stick his ear on the wall.
That is, until he heard a throaty moan from inside the office.
The Decimo froze as he recognized the voice. It was Squalo. And it seemed he was in great pain. Curiosity get the better of him, thus he pushed open the door, wide enough to peek inside.
And he quickly regretted his decision.
There, in the far end of the office, he saw Squalo pinned to the wall, with Xanxus penetrating him roughly. Both the swordsman's hands were clutching on the larger man's shoulder, threatening to rip off the expensive black coat. Moans and groans filled the room, causing Tsunayoshi's face turned as red as tomato. He wondered why everyone didn't hear these loud voices. Perhaps it's because the room was soundproof?
All of sudden, the moans stopped. The brunette was surprised that both assassins had spotted him peeking inside. They were glaring daggers at him.
"V-VOOI!!! What are you doing there, you fucking maid?!" Squalo yelled furiously, embarrassed that someone had watched him having sex with his damned boss.
"Oops…I'm…sorry?" the said maid smiled innocently.
Tsunayoshi quickly scrambled away when he saw Squalo and Xanxus decided not to continue their fun-filled moments and dressed up as fast as they could before they ran to capture the little Peeping Tom. When he turned around, he saw Xanxus—already clothed and show no sign that he was just having sex with his second-in-command—not too far from him, ruby eyes fixed on him alone while both his gun and Bester ready to kill Tsunayoshi.
"I-I-I'm sorry, Xanxus…sama!!!" the maid screeched as he continued running.
"Get back here, you fucking scum!" was Xanxus reply.
"I don't want to get killed!"
Tsunayoshi avoided all bullets shot at him, fleeing through the hallway. Fortunately, he remembered the mansion's layout perfectly and managed to keep their distance thanks to the shortcuts. However, Xanxus wasn't a fool, and thus he managed to trap the younger man in an underground shaft. The Decimo was very terrified, he was almost unable to keep tears pouring out of his brown eyes.
"X-Xanxus!! I-I'm really sorry, okay? D-don't kill me!" Tsunayoshi pulled off his long wig, revealing his true identity. "I'm Tsunayoshi!"
Although he appeared to be surprised from learning the small truth, Xanxus kept glaring at the brunette. "I don't fucking care about you little brat," he raised his gun, "In fact, it's better if you die right here and now."
Tsunayoshi closed his eyes in fear, unprepared to accept his early death. He cursed Reborn for forcing him to do this stupid inspection. He cursed his own curiosity that made him peeked into Xanxus and Squalo's private time!
However, when he heard no voice of bullet spew, and noticed that his body hadn't been shot, he opened his eyes again, only to find himself within the familiar sight of Vongola mansion's living room. He looked around, and saw Mukuro smirked funnily at him, Reborn standing next to the said illusionist. Thankfully, Xanxus was nowhere in sight so he let out a relieved sigh while loosened the maid uniform.
"Kufufu…welcome back, Tsunayoshi-kun. How's it?"
"Probably worse than the Hell you saw, Mukuro, and Reborn," he glared at his ex-home tutor, "ask someone else to spy on the Varia. You certainly doesn't want to have Xanxus kill me and become the new Vongola don, do you?"
"That's your problem, dame-Tsuna. Not mine."
Err…yeah…lame endings…lol
Mind to review this little piece of trash? :3