A/N: I haven't even seen past the second season but I read a lot of the fics about these two and this scene with the wine bottle caught my attention so I watched it and it definitely looked like Lena wanted to chuck it at her head.
"I didn't know what to bring so…I brought red and white." She forced a smile at the collective cheer. Her heart was breaking, her mind was screaming at her to demand answers to hurt everyone like she was hurting now.
They turned from her as she moved to put the bottle down on the counter, she tightened her grip on the cool glass and in a split moment of uncontrollable anger launched it at the back of Kara's head. It shattered on impact and soaked her in the sweet pungent liquid. She shook, both with the realization of what she had just done, what she had just admitted to and with the knowledge that what she had seen on those monitors was the truth. She sucked in a shaky breath and tried not to look at the others as they gaped at her in shock. Kara hadn't made any movement, hadn't pretended to be hurt or turn around to apologize, she just sat there for a moment and took everything in.
It was Alex who spoke first. "Lena?"
"No- I don't know what this is…"she nearly choked on a sob but she refused to let it out, refused to show them how broken she was at their betrayal. How much they had meant to her when it was all a farce on their part. "I don't know if you wanted me to be friends," she spat the word out as if it were the worst insult she could think of. "So you could keep the dangerous Luthor in check or whatever, or if you just wanted me to help you get to my family…" she sucked in a deep breath. "Well you can all stop pretending now, my brother is dead, you can stop pretending I was anything more than just some….some, you can stop pretending to care!" She wiped angrily at her eyes, furious with herself that she hadn't been able to stop the tears falling from them. She made a move toward the door, everyone else too stunned to stop her.
Her hand made it to the door knob, she barely opened it when it was slammed shut so hard the wood buckled in the middle, a pale hand resting above her head on the wood and hot breath blowing harshly against neck as Kara leaned into her to keep her from moving.
"Get off!" She wanted to push her away but a Kryptonian wasn't going to move unless they wanted to and she didn't want to hurt herself trying. "I'll sign whatever you want, I'm not about to go to the media with this just leave me alone!"
"I don't care." Kara whispered harshly, almost as if she couldn't bare to speak. "I don't care if you tell every news station from here to China but you are not," Kara's voice was raising, anger inflected there only serving to piss Lena off more, she was the one who had been lied to for years! What right did Kara have to be so angry for. "You are not going to walk out that door believing we didn't care about you, that nobody in this room would die for you if it was needed." She was surprised as Kara grasped her shoulders and spun her around, forcefully but gently enough it didn't hurt her. She pressed Lena against the broken door and a hand reached up and tugged her chin up so she could see her eyes.
"Kara… " The blonde ignored her sister, ignored all of them even as they stood up….to do what Lena wasn't sure, help her? Calm Kara down? A part of her wondered if maybe Lex had been wrong, if they really cared about her…Kara looked so angry.
"You are not leaving without knowing you are loved, by everyone in this room and no one more than me." Lena's heart stuttered, eyes widen and moist. It had to be some kind of joke, if Kara cared about their friendship she would have told her the truth, she would have trusted her. Lena said as much.
"I wanted to, I tried to." Kara's ire seemed to cool just a bit, her eyes turning sad as they refused to leave Lena's as they begged her to believe her.
"It doesn't matter, Kara it's been years…you had…you didn't trust me."
"I did." Kara said the words so honestly, with such conviction Lena was having a hard time holding on to her anger. "By the time I was brave enough to tell you everything fell apart, Lena. Alex had to have her memories of me wiped, she didn't know I was Supergirl and we didn't have the same close relationship." Green eyes shot to the dark haired woman and she nodded with a grimace. "It hurt so bad to loose my sister, to loose our connection that had been my rock for so long. I can't fit in this world without that. Without this, without you and Alex and Win and the others. I wouldn't be the hero I am without everyone in this room."
Lena tried to push off the door again, willing to listen, her anger settled even if it wasn't gone. Her logical mind knowing that Lex couldn't have been right about everything, if they didn't care, if they had been laughing behind her back…well they wouldn't all be standing there, eyes pleading with her to understand. Looking so torn and lost and guilty…. "Let me up, Kara."
"Lena…" the blonde didn't move. Her hand flexed on Lena's arm and the other came around to settle on her stomach as if she needed more force to hold her in place. "I'm not strong enough to let you go. I would have fallen apart completely if it had been you who forgot me instead of Alex, who forgot how close we were and how much I loved you." It was barely a whisper, she doubted any of the others could hear her. But Lena did and it tore a sob from her chest as she buried her face in the girl's cardigan, her own hands clenching in the fabric when the hero finally released her and eased her into an embrace.
"I think maybe they need some alone time to work this out, Kara…. Perhaps the roof?" John asked. He wasn't about to leave his own home but he could respect their need to sort out the drama that had been unfolding in his living room. He stayed out of their minds but it didn't take a mind reader to know this wasn't going to be solved in one night, they needed privacy and time neither of which they were getting with everyone staring at them hoping Kara didn't just kidnap Lena, honestly there was nothing anyone could do if she did.
"Lena?" Kara reflexively tightened her hold on the woman, unwilling to let her out of her embrace for fear she bolted, even though she knew she could catch her.
"Penthouse." The word was muffled against her shirt but Kara heard it easily. She said nothing to anyone as she scooped the woman up, smiling sadly at the gasp that escaped before Lena once again hid her face against Kara's clothes.
"Sorry about the door…" John waved her off as she took off toward his window, she barely had the patience to open it before she took off, ignoring Alex's call that she was still in her civvies. "I'm sorry Lena. I don't know how you found out but it should have been me that told you." The dark haired woman said nothing she held tight to the hero and stayed silent, barely keeping more tears at bay as she trembled in the cool night air. Kara held her closer, her best attempt at keeping her warm as she flew the short distance to Lena's apartment.
She let her go when her feet touched the sidewalk, she had wanted to fly straight up to the balcony but she knew Lena kept it locked, she had since their fight over the kryptonite.
"I-" Kara hesitated, she wanted to come up, she wanted to talk but she knew Lena was angry, rightfully angry. She just couldn't leave without knowing if Lena would give her a chance to make it right.
"I don't know, Kara. I feel like a fool." Green eyes were too bright as they stared back at her, tears hovering just at the edge.
"You're not Lena. I swear to you no one ever thought of you that way. In the beginning no one trusted you, and then reign and the Kryptonite….you found out Supergirl wasn't perfect, and I let fear let me make some pretty bad choices but I always trusted you. I could have told you then and there who I was Lena and I knew you wouldn't have done anything against me. I knew you would be angry at me and I selfishly kept it to myself." Kara sucked in a shaky breath and glanced up toward the stars. "I wanted to tell you, tell you I was your friend and I always was, that I made a stupid mistake but I was still me! I've lost so much and when I thought I might loose you too, when you said you couldn't ever forgive Supergirl…if I told you and lost you it would be like losing home all over again."
Lena scoffed, she couldn't help it. She wanted to believe Kara but Lex had known how to push all her insecurities up to the front and what Kara was telling her was unbelievable, how could their friendship be tantamount to losing an entire planet. "You don't have to exaggerate." She muttered darkly.
Kara turned back down and met her eyes. "I'm not." She told her simply. "I watched my planet blow up into a thousand pieces," Lena's breath caught, she couldn't imagine the grief, the nightmares that would have caused and Kara was always so happy and compassionate. "Thinking about you leaving, about you never coming back or never wanting to speak to me again….it was like my world was gone all over again. Everyone I ever loved has left me. My family, friends, Kal left me with the Danvers and Mon-El had to leave, and then we wiped Alex's mind and in a way she left me too." Kara smiled sadly. "I survived all of that but for some reason when I think about you leaving, dying or hating me….I want to curl up in a ball and never move again."
Kara reached out and wiped a tear away from Lena's cheek, she smiled hopefully when the brunette didn't pull away. "I know you probably don't believe me Lena but I never wanted to hurt you with my secret. I did want to tell you, I can't say it was to keep you safe although that's an excuse I told myself a lot. I was just selfish, afraid if you knew the truth you would leave."
"I might still." Lena told her honestly, knowing that she was listening now, hearing the hero now that she might even be willing to believe her now, but when she was alone with her scotch bottle her mind may change. Every fear she had, all her experience at being betrayed and unloved may cause her to run. She didn't know if she wanted to risk having her heart ripped our again.
"I'll find you Lena. As long as there is a chance that you can forgive me, I'll find you, I'll keep you safe, I'll send you flowers and food when you forget to eat. I'm not good at being patient." Lena actually managed a slight smile even as Kara kept stroking her cheek. She knew that, Kara was ridiculously impatient when she wanted something, she always whined in the most adorable way…..
"I don't know where we go from here?" She told her truthfully. "I…I can't just forgive you in one night I….It hurt so bad when I found out the truth, when I saw you with the eyes and the wall…."
Kara's expression darkened. "Pictures of you….they had pictures of us together. You….you were in so much danger and you didn't even know why." Kara choked, her hand dropped away from Lena's face as she ran it over her own. She had been so angry before, angry Lena hadn't felt like they really loved her, but now….now with the hope that Lena may stay that they could repair their relationship and start again…now she just felt incredibly sad and worn.
She nearly jumped in surprise when arms wrapped around her, Lena rested her head on Kara's shoulder and squeezed as hard as she could. Kara's own immediately circled her waist, no hesitation. It sealed the thought in Lena's mind, that this was real, that Kara's love for her was real. That even if she had kept such a huge secret from her it hadn't been out of malice, selfishness maybe, but it wasn't because her last name was Luthor and she wasn't using her for anything other than what Lena was already willing to give.
"Are you with me Lena?" Kara asked softly against her hair, her hands rubbing along her back to comfort them both.
"Always, Kara." She meant it. She wasn't going to run, no matter how much alcohol she drank and how much running might be easier. This was worth it. It was real and it was worth it. She wasn't going to let Lex win. "Always."
If they make Lena a villain after she finds out I doubt I will ever watch any more Supergirl and it's the only superhero I like.