Disclaimer:
The following is a work of fanfiction. All characters and situations belonging to "Voltron: Defender of the Universe" and "Voltron Force" are copyrighted to World Event Productions. Everything else is of my own creation.
Author's Notes:
This story is the result of reading many of the wonderful fanfics already out there and my own recent viewing of the original cartoon from the 80s as an adult. A large number of stories feature Lotor brutalizing his harem slaves while using them as substitutes for Allura. This story explores what could happen if she found out about it. It is not meant to be taken as canon. It is a what-if? piece.
As portrayed in the original series, Allura is incredibly naïve and trusting. She has clearly been sheltered from the world outside of her castle by Coran and Nanny her entire life. It stands to reason that they would protect her from any kind of painful knowledge, such as what a madman who is obsessed with her does to other women. Her actions in this story are just a possibility I came up with that she could take when faced with this horrible reality.
The story takes place within the "Voltron Force" universe, but it occurs within the timeframe of the original series. This is years before Keith learns of his Arusian heritage, as seen in the episode "Crossed Signals". He still believes his family originated on Earth.
Please note that I have not read any of the comic book series. All information I include comes solely from the two animated series.
This story contains sexual themes. It is not intended for younger readers.
All questions and comments may be sent to me at my e-mail address. Please see my author profile for details.
Thank you and I hope you enjoy the story.
Secrets Revealed
by
Julie Horwitz
Keith Kogane's eyes snapped open at the sound of the quiet but insistent knocking on his door.
Life on Arus had quickly turned him into a light sleeper. Zarkon's forces didn't take time of day or night into consideration when launching an attack. And Keith wanted to be ready to lead his team at a moment's notice. Too many lives depended on it.
He glanced at the clock on his nightstand. It was nearly two in the morning.
He was instantly completely awake. No one would come to see him at this hour if it wasn't important. (It was most likely Coran.)
He swung himself out of his bed and quickly made his way to the door. He pressed the panel to admit his late night visitor.
But the face that greeted him was the last one he would have ever expected to see.
"Princess?"
Allura stood in his doorway, her arms wrapped tightly around her body. Her face was pale and her eyes were red from what could only have been crying.
There was no need to ask why she had come.
She had been badly shaken by the information they had received from the female refugees that had escaped from Doom.
The ones who had been enslaved in Lotor's harem.
"May I...come in?" she asked in a voice so quiet that he barely heard her.
"Of course," he answered, stepping aside so she could enter his quarters.
Without a word, she slipped past him and went to sit on the edge of his bed. Her hands began to fiddle with the material of her nightgown that was draped over her lap.
When she did not speak right away, he took a moment to study her.
He had never seen her like this before. The princess was usually so full of fire and life. The girl who had come into his room looked so young and terrified that it broke his heart. It took everything in him to keep from going to her and pulling her into his arms.
He didn't understand why she had chosen to come to him above anyone else in her time of need, but it flattered him that she valued their friendship so much. He'd always felt that they were close, but to feel that she could discuss something so...personal with him... (None of them had realized the extent of Lotor's perverted obsession with her. Allura wasn't the only one who had been sickened by the intel.) He would have thought that Nanny or Coran, the two people who knew her best in the world, would have been better choices.
But she had come to him and he would not turn her away. He would not hurt her by rejecting her in her time of need.
He loved her too much.
But the princess didn't know of his feelings for her and she never would. In fact, he'd gone to great lengths to make sure that no one would ever know. (He had a feeling that Lance suspected, but he had never mentioned it, a fact for which Keith was grateful.) Allura was destined to marry a prince who would eventually rule by her side as king of Arus. Although he knew she felt something for him as well, he refused to put her in a situation that would eventually break her heart. If they got together, they would only have to end it once her future husband and king was chosen.
There was also the fact that he was her commanding officer on the Voltron Force. A romance between them would compromise their working relationship. He was barely able to keep his feelings for her separate now. It would become impossible if they were involved.
Loving her from afar was the only way to protect them both.
After a few moments of silence from Allura, he questioned her, "Does Nanny or Coran know you're here?"
Her two guardians were overprotective and Nanny especially became upset when her primary charge was not in her room when she was supposed to be. (Allura was nearly twenty and they still continued to treat her as if she were a child. She had often expressed to him how frustrated it made her feel.) If she was discovered to be gone at this hour of the night...
Not looking up at him, she shook her head. "No. Nanny's spending the night in Larmina's room and Coran is on watch in Control. I've asked my friends to let me know if anyone comes looking for me. I don't... I don't want them knowing that I'm here.
"They can't know."
It was a strange thing for her to say. While he could understand her not wanting them to know that she was out of her room in the middle of the night, he didn't see any reason why it would matter that she was with him. Everyone knew that they had become close friends during his time on Arus. She was simply seeking moral support from a friend. What was wrong with that?
"Why not?"
"I-I have a favor to ask of you," she softly spoke, catching him offguard.
"Anything," he instantly swore, confused both by her need for secrecy and the fact that she was asking him for a favor that no one else could know about.
He had assumed that she had come to discuss what she had heard today. He didn't know of anything else that could be upsetting her so badly. But whatever this was, it was bad enough to have driven her to his room in the middle of the night.
Not that it really mattered. He would not deny her anything. Anything she wanted was hers. There was nothing that he would not do for this woman. His life was hers.
Still not meeting his gaze, she added, "No one can know about this, Keith. This has to stay between us."
He could hear the desperation in her voice, which worried him. This was completely out of character for the princess. What could be so horribly wrong that she didn't want anyone but him knowing about it?
"If you think that it's for the best," he told her, not knowing what else to say. He would of course do as she asked, even if he didn't understand it. How could he not?
Finally, she looked up at him, her eyes brimming with fresh tears. "Nanny and Coran... If they knew what I wanted... They would never understand. You... You're the only one who can help me, Keith. You're the only one I could ever ask."
Confused, he came to sit beside her on the bed. He took her restless hands in his.
His eyes searched her face, becoming more and more concerned with every passing second.
"What's wrong, Allura?"
Whatever was going on here, it was clearly bigger than her concerns about Lotor's behavior towards his harem slaves. He had never seen her like this before. And why did she believe that he was the only person who could help her through this crisis? What did she feel that he could do that no one else could?
Whatever it was, if it was in his power, he would do it. No questions asked.
"There's something you need to know before I can ask my favor of you," she said instead of answering the question. "It's the reason why I could only come to you and no one else. It's why I would never ask this of anyone but you."
"Tell me," he urged, hoping this would shed some light on the situation.
"I love you."
His heart froze in his chest as she spoke the words he had dreamed of hearing her say for so long now. He'd been aware that she had feelings for him for some time, but he'd never suspected that she actually loved him the way that he loved her. This was both his deepest wish and his ultimate nightmare. If he were to tell her that he returned her feelings...
"I don't know if you feel the same way," she continued, unaware of the emotional turmoil her admission had brought forth in him, "but I know you care for me a great deal. I've seen it, Keith. I've felt it. And that's why I know that you're the only one I can ask."
"Ask me," he softly ordered, willing to do anything to take away her pain.
Her eyes locked with his.
"Make love to me."
Stunned, he dropped her hands and stared at her.
"Allura!"
"Take away the one thing about me that would hold Lotor's interest," she went on, proving to him that he had been right all along about what had been upsetting her so badly. "You heard what Reela and the others said again and again. Lotor prefers virgins. He quickly loses interest in women who come to his harem experienced. I want to make sure that if he ever succeeds in taking me, he'll find me no longer desirable and dispose of me quickly."
"Allura..."
"You and I both know that he's never going to give up trying to take me," she pressed, picking up his hands. "You know the lengths he's already gone to. You've always been able to protect me so far. But what if there's one time you can't? I want... I want..."
She began to cry as her words failed her. She let his hands go and wrapped her arms tightly around herself again.
Keith knew that this was all his fault. He never should have let her stay and hear what the refugees had had to say. He should have forced the issue the second they had identified themselves as former members of Lotor's harem. He had tried to order Pidge to escort her from the room, but she had refused to budge, reminding him that as princess she ultimately outranked him and he had to do as she wished.
It was one of the biggest mistakes he had ever made and he would regret it for the rest of his life.
And then he had been unable to do a thing as he watched her grow paler and paler as one former slave after another described the horrors inflicted upon them by the prince of Doom.
All while uttering Allura's name...
"Please, Keith," she insisted after she regained control and he still had not spoken. Her hands fell to her sides and gripped the sheet beneath them. "Please."
"Allura, I..."
For one brief instant, he considered granting her request. To be with her the way he had always dreamed of... Knowing that she loved him as much as he loved her... But the instant passed and he knew that if he gave in then he would be no better than Lotor himself.
Allura was an innocent. Her idea was naïve and idealistic and it was driven by pure fear. (Lotor would not reject her as she thought. Finding out that she was not a virgin would absolutely infuriate him and there was no telling what he would do to her as punishment.) To take advantage of her innocence that way would be almost like rape. He would never forgive himself if he took away the one thing she was meant to share with her future husband. As much as he himself wanted to make love to her, it was not and never would be his place.
Their love could never be.
"Lotor won't ever get you," he vowed, determined to delay telling her "no" for as long as possible. She was so vulnerable at this moment that there was no telling the effect an outright rejection would have on her in her current state of mind. "I promise you, Princess. He can try all he wants, but he'll never succeed. I won't let him."
"How can you know?" she countered. "What if you fail?"
"I won't," he assured her. "I'll defend you with my life."
"And if he kills you?" she returned. "What will happen then? Please, Keith. Do this for me. I don't want him to be the first one to touch me. Help me."
For a moment, he couldn't think of an argument to use against her. She had a point. Lotor had tried to kill him multiple times already. Of all the members of the Force, Lotor had made it his personal mission to destroy him. He had been very lucky so far that he had come out of each encounter alive. (And some of those times had been with severe injuries.) There was always a chance that the prince would one day succeed.
And that would be the day he'd no longer be able to protect Allura from that monster.
"What if he punishes you for being 'unfaithful'?" he tried another tactic. Perhaps driving home how dangerous Lotor's obsession with her could be. "Lotor doesn't intend for you to become a member of his harem. He wants to marry you and make you his queen. If he discovers that you've been with another man..."
"I don't care," she said vehemently. "I'd rather die than spend the rest of my life with him. Let him kill me. It would be worth it for one night with you."
Keith knew it was time to give her his answer.
The full answer.
"I...can't, Allura," he finally told her, reaching out and wiping the tears from her cheeks. "I can't do that to you. I can't...risk your life that way. I won't. You're too important to me to let you die because of one bastard's need to completely possess you.
"I...love you too much to let anything happen to you."
Allura's eyes widened in astonishment.
"You-you love me?" she breathed.
"For a very long time now," he admitted, reaching out to take her hands once more. "You mean everything to me, Princess. I don't ever want to lose you."
"Why didn't you ever tell me?" she wanted to know.
"Because we can never be," he gently informed her. "You are the future queen of this entire planet. It's your destiny to marry someone who can rule by your side. I'm not that man. I'm simply a soldier from Earth who was assigned here to protect Arus as a member of the Voltron Force. You deserve a prince, not a commoner."
"But I don't want to be with anyone but you," she argued. "I love you, Keith. How can you expect me to marry someone I can never love? My heart belongs to you alone."
"As mine belongs to no one but you," he told her, caressing her cheek. "But our duty has to come first, Allura. You should know that better than anyone." He sighed, removing his hand from her face. "This is why I never wanted to tell you."
He knew that nothing between them would ever be the same again, but he'd had no choice but to tell her. It was the only way to make her understand why he wouldn't make love to her.
If only he could...
She gave him a small, sad smile. "I'm glad you did. I've loved you for so long now but I was never sure if you felt the same. I was...afraid to know. Because if I came to you and you didn't..."
"But you did tonight."
"Because I thought if you knew how I felt, it would make it easier for you to...to..." She trailed off.
"It's because I love you that I won't do that to you," he explained to her, taking his hand and smoothing back her hair. "Your first time should be with the person you're going to spend the rest of your life with. And that person is going to be the man you've married. Your prince is out there, Allura. You'll know when you find him."
"But I already have," she countered. "You, Keith. Only you."
He gave her a sad smile of his own. "You have no idea how badly I've wished that I was," he confessed to her. "Then I would be able to kiss you and hold you and make love to you. I would give anything to marry you."
He meant every word of it. Allura was his world. To live a normal life with her...
But it was an impossible dream. He had accepted that from the moment he realized what he felt for her.
"I wish that I wasn't a princess," she softly said. "I'd rather just be your wife."
"But you are a princess," he reminded her. "A princess with a planet full of people who love you and depend on you. What you alone have done for Arus... Not just as its princess, but as a member of the Voltron Force as well. I don't think any of us would be here right now if it weren't for you and your leadership. You are exactly the kind of ruler needed for this world to survive against Zarkon. No one else could have done all the things you have done.
"I fell in love with you because of who you are," he continued. He again caressed her cheek. "You are brave and compassionate. You're selfless and always think of others before yourself. You have so much love to give and you share it freely. You can also be incredibly stubborn and determined."
She gave another small smile at the words.
"But always for the right reasons," he added. "You are an amazing woman, Allura. I am proud to know you and to serve along side you on the Voltron Force. To call you my friend."
"Keith..." she murmured, fresh tears spilling from her eyes.
"I will never love anyone else as long as I live," he let her know. "You are the only one I've ever felt this way about in my entire life. But because of who we both are, we cannot be anything more than we already are. I know it's not fair, but there's nothing we can do about it. We have no choice but to accept it.
"But you have to know I will never leave you," he assured her. "I will stay by your side always. Because of you, Arus has become my home. You've become my home."
He picked up one of her hands and kissed it the way he had done all that time ago on the day they had first met.
"My life belongs to you, Allura."
He then turned her hand over and pressed a kiss to her palm. He then took the hand and placed it over his heart. "You're everything to me."
"I love you so much," she replied, still crying.
Knowing that there was no reason to hold back anymore, he pulled her to him and embraced her tightly.
"I'll keep you safe," he murmured into her hair. "Lotor will never touch you."
"I'm so afraid," she whispered. "I've never been so afraid of anyone in my life. The things he did to those other women..."
"Don't think about that anymore," he urged her. "I won't let him ever take you away from me."
She pushed slightly away from him and looked into his face.
"Promise?"
"With all my heart."
Before he could stop himself, he pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead.
Her eyes fell closed at the contact.
He studied her face again. There was no denying how beautiful she was. (He and his entire team had been struck by her beauty the very first time they had laid eyes on her. It had led to a lot of playful flirting over the years. Even Sven, who was now happily involved with Romelle, had not been immune to the lovely princess when first meeting her.) It was understandable how she could become the focus of one man's obsession. But there was more to her beauty than just her perfect features. It was her inner goodness that never failed to shine through.
And it was that goodness that had ultimately won his heart.
He was suddenly seized by the urge to kiss her on her lips, to ultimately show her how he truly felt about her, but he fought it. He had gone too far with her already. She now knew everything and, even worse, she felt the same way. Kissing her would only make it harder to pretend that their love did not exist once she walked out of his door. How could he do that to her? To both of them?
It's the least I can do for her, he realized.
She had come to him for the most intimate kind of help a person could give another, which he'd had no choice but to deny her. Asking him and revealing her true feelings had taken an incredible amount of courage. Telling him that she loved him had been a terrible risk that, if he didn't feel the same way, could have destroyed her. She deserved something in return for exposing herself to him so completely.
His decision made, he leaned in and gave her her first kiss.
Allura was startled by his action, but she did not pull away. She quickly recovered and began returning the kiss.
He had felt her lips against his cheek more times than he could count, but that was nothing compared to how they felt against his own. They were soft and warm and more wonderful than he had ever dreamed. He savored every moment of feeling them against his mouth.
Of feeling her.
Caught up in his emotions, he pulled her closer against him and deepened the kiss.
Allura allowed him to lead her and wrapped her arms around him.
Finally, he broke the kiss and pulled away from her.
"I love you, Allura."
"Keith..." she breathlessly murmured.
He caressed her face once again. "I should take you back to your room now."
"I don't want to leave you."
He smiled at her. "Hey, you're the one who didn't want to be found here. Have you changed your mind?"
"No," she sighed unhappily. "You're right. I'd better go. I'll be in terrible trouble if Nanny or Coran find me out of my room."
He stood up from the bed and held out his hand to her. "And what will you tell them if they see us walking in the hall together?"
She took his hand and he pulled her to her feet.
"That I couldn't sleep and you found me reading in the library because you couldn't sleep either," she suggested. "They'd have no reason to question that."
He nodded in agreement before turning serious once again.
"I promise you that no one will ever know what went on between us tonight in this room," he assured her. "This is our secret. You have my word."
"I know I do," she told him. "I just wish..."
"Me too," he said, knowing what it was she wanted.
What they both wanted...
He squeezed her hand. "I love you."
"I love you too."
She leaned in and gently kissed him.
He didn't even try to resist her. It was the last kiss they could ever share. He would burn it into his memory.
When it ended, he said, "We have to go now."
"I know."
He continued to hold her hand as they slowly walked over to his door. He did not release it until he hit the door panel to open it.
"After you," he softly spoke, gesturing to the open doorway.
Allura hesitated for a moment and he knew that she was thinking the same thing he was. That once she was through the door, their time as lovers was over. They were back to being nothing more than teammates and friends, a princess and her devoted servant.
Allura walked out into the hall.
And Keith followed.
The dream had come to an end. It was now back to reality.
They started down the corridor and his door slid shut behind them.