Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto!

-

"Talking"

(Me adding things)

A/N: Major Spoilers!

-

Five long and cold years he had waited for someone to come back, someone to save him.

Jashin.

But no, no. No one came and he was crushed under the tons of rocks. With dead maroon eyes he had chewed at the rocks, slowly, as he had been moving such as for years. His own personal hell.

Hidan was put off by his faith.

He, himself as just a head had chewed and swallowed at the dirt, chipping teeth and spitting blood as he progressed. Inch by inch, day by day he got closer to where he thought his chest was, the body part that could help save him from this hell hole. What had he done to deserve this, what? He had followed his religion perfectly, hadn't he?

Then, there was disappointment. It was just a crushed leg, torn muscle and skin and nowhere for his head to connect to admit movement. Again he moved through the dirt with his rounded teeth and subdued enthusiasm. It wasn't like he could go back, right? Every time he moved foreword the path behind was crushed under rocks that were held up by his skull.

Kakuzu had said he had a hard head.

He didn't laugh at his nostalgic joke; no in fact he couldn't even talk, his voice box was back in his chest, probably crushed beyond use.

Day after day, he search for his chest until he found it. It had actually been a moment of triumph until he realized he didn't have Kakuzu to sew his head back onto his body. He would have to press his head against his neck at such an angle that the nerves connected. But that wouldn't be good enough for a permanent fix, and he found that it was impossible in itself.

For two years he lay there, counting every minute.

Betrayed.

He wondered if the Akatsuki had won against the Villages and just forgot about him..

Hoped more like it.

It would be better than wishing on their death wouldn't it?

-

It was only until about three years later did he see the light at the top of that hole, hurting his eyes that were accustomed to the dark.

Grabbing things, Tentacles. No..almost like snakes, pulled his body parts out of the hole at random until his head finally came up, face to face with stitches and a mask.

Then a quick nod.

Kakuzu.

Hidan would have shouted in joy if he had a voice box, all that happened was an opening of the jaw and blood encrusted dirt falling from the cavity.

It was still too bright for the newly unearthed eyes to see correctly, and Kakuzu was holding his head so close he could only see his eyes and the top of the mask adorning his face. Just what the hell was his problem?

"Give him to me, Kuzu please."

Kuzu..?

He felt himself being passed into softer, smaller hands and looking up at hideously blonde hair that resembled Deidaras. Just who the hell wanted hair like that pansy anyway?

"Thank you."

His eyes finally adjusted when the girl leaned over him, blocking some of the sunlight.

"Kami, he's disgusting looking. We'll have to bathe him, ne Kakuzu?"

Hidan looked at Kakuzu, waiting for some comment about how Hidan was always disgusting to this strange woman. But he was faced with something shocking, Kakuzu..wasn't wearing a mask. The whole place where his mouth should have been..was..just a big..burn mark.

Maroon eyes widened in shock at Kakuzu's current appearance, who's eyes were averted from Hidan's.

"Shocking isn't it?"

The female voice again, sounding sincere with mocking words.

"When Ibiki was interrogating him, he shoved his face into a bed of coals and let the skin heal over his mouth. It was probably a good thing though because he wouldn't be able to talk anyway. His jaw bone was smashed in the impact and we didn't offer Medical help to prisoners then."

A shudder went down Hidan's spine despite her soft tone. Those words were like daggers no matter how spoken. Akatsuki definetly had not won..

When his eyes looked down further he saw that Kakuzu was in bright orange scrubs, hands handcuffed together and legs the same. They had been caught?..

"C'mon Kuzu, stitch your friend up."

Kakuzu didn't move and kept himself turned away at the angle, a black tentacle sliding from his sleeve and working on his old partner. Hidan almost joyed at the nostalgic feeling of that piercing needle, he had felt it so many times before. Hidan had been away so long, he missed everything. Food, even though he didn't need it, The sun, although it hurt his eyes, and warmth. The ground had been so cold.. But his attention was straying from the woman with these luxuries. He needed to focus!

He looked up at the woman again when she layed his head down on the ground. He wanted her to explain everything, he just hadn't his voice. Her hand burned red as she pressed it against his stitched body. Jashin, he looked like Frankenstein, or even Kakuzu himself! He felt nerve endings pinch together under the influence of her chakra, It had been so long. It felt so good to feel!

Now it would just take her hand to move up just slightly..up to his neck. Once those endings where connected..

She moved a piece of his shredded Akatsuki robe to the side on his chest. It was like she was fucking dawdling! Hidan opened his jaw and snapped it shut, emitting a 'clicking' noise. It was his way of telling her to hurry up.

"Kuzu, Handcuffs please?"

Oh, Hell No.

Hidan willed himself to move, willed! So he could teach this copy cat haired bitch a lesson. The fog had cleared his head and he was ready to go! They were not taking him wherever they had taken Kakuzu.

Snap! The handcuffs where on and in a flash his head was connected to his body, the nerve ending and voice box repaired. Shit, now how he could get the hel-

"Son of a bitch!"

Pain was flying through him, what the hell had she been thinking! His body had been crushed under tons of rocks and- He..had just spoken. His own voice hadn't been used in so long, it sounded foriegn. He had just spoken..

He looked at the girl again. She had to have been a medical ninja, even though she wore no headband. No one could have just practically recultivated a whole human body without breaking a sweat. It just wasn't possible for her to be a normal nurse. Hell, the hair already made her not normal as it was.

"Names Ino." What the fuck was an Ino?

Ino held her hand down to him, but he refused it and stood by himself, wobbling. He just wasn't used to the weight, The pain was tolerable for a masochist such as himself though.

"Why did you dig me up?"

"Him." She hooked her thumb backwards at Kakuzu, but he wasn't looking at his Akatsuki Partner. He was looking at her dull blue eyes. They looked like spit and a melted blue crayon.

Hidan's eyes narrowed.

"And what the fuck do you think your gunna do with me?" He moved his hands in the handcuffs, trying to send a message across.

"Well, bring you to jail of course. That's where criminals belong. And anyway, you have alot to learn on the way back."

Hidan had never felt so much confusion before. Never! Just what the hell was going on?

"Whats the point of digging me up then? That's just like fuckin' jail.."

He felt himself being pushed forward into a walk, stumbling along the way. Was this really even a woman?!

"Ooh, you'll find we're much worse."

-

Hidan soon found himself walking next to Kakuzu, heads down, backs straight and knees up high like they were in the military. It was painful to walk like this! And all in 'respect' for their captor.

"This is fucking embarrassing Kakuzu. How the fuck did you get caught by a dumb bitch like this."

He felt her glare on his back after Kakuzu grunted. He'd almost forgotten Kakuzu couldn't talk.. Hidan looked up at Kakuzu again despite being told not to look anywhere but the ground. He'd lost all respect for that bitch anyway..

His eyes traveled along the ugly mark that Kakuzu bore on his face through-out the silence between the three, thinking quietly for once.

"How do you breath?"

Ino answered for him, of course, in her 'how else' tone.

"We made insitions were his nose was."

"Then can't you do that with his mouth?"

"I don't think it makes a diffrence about comfort for a prisoner to Lord Danzo. He just wants the Akatsuki scum alive to make them pay." He could hear her clothes ruffle, making him think she shrugged.

"Well this is fuckin' great. Just got out of a hell hole and I'm going to another one."

"Get over it."

Silence ensued again while Hidan steamed about Ino. Who the hell did she think he was? If he could move better he would.. He looked down at the metal handcuffs and mentally slapped himself in the face. He was a ninja! He could break these things.

He felt something blunt being knocked against his head and he fell to his knees, spitting blood out onto the tan ground infront of him.

"What. The. Fuck?!"

"I know what you were thinking about doing. You can't break those, they limit chakra. And if you still try and break them they'll shock you if you pull them apart far enough."

She pulled him back up on his feet by the back of his torn robe and pushed him back into walking, Kakuzu following soon after.

"Fuck, you'd swear they burnt his balls off too."

"That could be arranged if you'd like it to happen too you?"

They were silent for the rest of the trip to Kohona.

-

Hidan was thrown in a cell with the rest of the Akatsuki, even the ones who he'd thought had died. Confusion was becoming a natural feeling for him, wasn't it? Wasn't anyone going to explain anything to him?

He sat up to see the others gambling with a beat up looking deck of cards.

"Oh, so they found you."

"He looks like Kakuzu, Uhn."

Hidan stumbled over to the group and sat under the single light in the cell, marveling at how much everyone had changed and he hadn't. But maybe that was the thing about being immortal. You never aged.

They all were looking at him now, silent.

Itachi looked the worst, his hair bedraggled and his eye sockets empty. They hadn't even put a patch over them. Just how the hell was he gambling? Then Kakuzu..His face burnt over. Sasori, his arms and legs were gone. But maybe that wasn't such a big deal for him, he was a puppet after all. Pein looked sick, but then again he always did. This had to be the second time Hidan had ever seen him, without the body he normally used. Tobi, no mask and a patch over one eye. But maybe he was like that before..he had only had one hole in his mask before. Zetsu's venus fly trap was gone.. and he was..completely black. Deidara looked the same..just a little dirty. But where was..

"Where the fuck is Kisame?"

Itachi was the first to speak up.

"He hasn't gotten captured yet."

"Oh."

Silence, as Tobi put down his play.

"Didn't know Tobi could gamble.." Hidan huffed. "Thought he was a good boy."

Zetsu put down his and looked up at Hidan, and Hidan noticed that he wasn't just all black. His other half was missing like they had split apart.

"That's not Tobi, Hidan. Tobi isn't real."

"Seriously. Someone fucking explain what's going on!"

Pein set down his cards and cracked his knuckles through his handcuffs.

"You really wanna know?"

Everyone followed in suit of Pein and set their cards down, the game obviously over.

"It started sometime after You and Kakuzu were taken down and killed."

"Wait wait. If Kakuzu was killed then how the hell is he alive now."

Kakuzu made a noise in his throat, trying to tell Pein something in the only way he could without paper.

"Aah. Shit. I forgot you got taken out earlier in the game."

Deidara leaned more into the wall and looked out of the room through the bar cells. He had gotten so bored with the cell, possibly because there was no way to get out of it. He needed something productive to do. He was some-what like that Shikamaru man that Danzo had killed a few years back after he took control. Apparently the Akatsuki's war had hurt the original Hokage and driven her into a coma.

"Basically, Hidan. Sasuke killed Orochimaru, who had put some of his being into Kabuto as a last resort. When Orochimaru didn't get to have Sasuke's body and was killed, the part of him that was in Kabuto awoke and started to take him over. Basically this gave Kabuto immense power, such as the power to raise the dead. Therefore the dead Akatsuki members were brought back in a deal with Madara and Kabuto for the war between the Ninja village and us."

Hidan cocked his head to the side, still confused.

"You mean Madara Uchiha, the founder of the Uchihas? Hasn't he been dead for like..fifty years?"

"Tobi is Madara, and Madara is immortal such as yourself."

Hidan saw Deidara flinch at the mention of Tobi's true identity. He must have been truly surprised to learn his idiot of a partner was the true leader of Akatsuki. By the looks of it, he still hadn't gotten over it.

"So..he pretended to be an idiot and used everyone like the fuck heads they are. Why are you playing cards with him."

Pein and Zetsu shrugged and started to pick up the cards.

"Can't kill him in here can we now, Hidan?"

He shuddered at the hollowness in Black Zetsu's voice. He sounded so different without the rivalry of his white side, who was so calm and nice.

"So..uhm. What happened to your white side?"

Black Zetsu kept quiet and shuffled the cards, not meeting Hidan's eyes. Itachi spoke instead.

"They split apart while trying to get away. The White side hasn't gotten caught yet."

Yet? Had the Akatsuki lost their will?

"He doesn't like to talk about it, Yeah."

Hidan crossed his legs and fingered the edge of his torn up Akatsuki robe.

"..."

It was Sasori's turn to speak.

"So..I'm surprised to see they haven't ripped your uniform off of you yet."

Hidan thought he saw a look of envy from the rest of the Akatsuki members for a split second, before things went quiet again. It was almost unbearable for Hidan to stay quiet for so long! He just had to say something.

"Yeah.."

Madara cracked his knuckles and sighed, laying back on the ground with his hands behind his head.

"And to think we could have been ruling the country by now, and sleeping on comfortable beds instead of disgusting floors."

A chorus of yeahs and agreeing grunts went around the room, leading into another question from Hidan.

"Do you guys know how long we'll be here?"

"Nope."

But it was Itachi who looked up at Hidan, with his dark empty sockets.

"Until we Die."

-