"Yo, I'm Dylan."
Mmmm. Perfect match, damn straight! I ran over to him and shoved my tongue down his throat. I was gonna ride that disco stick all the wa-
"Max...nooooooooooo.."
Ugh, what did Fang want?
"I lurffleee youuu........."
Damn. Forgot about that nuisance. Wiping my mouth off on my sleeve, I turned around and staggered up to him, "I lurffle you, too, but I also lurffle this perfectly designed mutant kid that we, like, just met. WTH? That's, like, so my word, you know."
"How can you lurffle him, Max?! WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME?!" Fang cried out, falling to his feet in despair.
"Go cut yourself with a plastic spoon, emo birdboy."
"WTH?!"
"That's my word, asshole!"
"IT'S NOT A WORD!"
"Fuck it," I said, and went back to shoving my tongue down Dylan's throat.
Fang cried.
I shrugged.
"But....please...be with me, Max..."
"You're gonna die anyway..."
Fang looked up at me from his crying place on the ground, "Nevuhr! Ignore the creepy birdgirl! I'll kill her!"
...and then he did. He bludgeoned her over the head with a potato until she fell to the ground, dead. I think I should've felt bad, but I really didn't care.
"You're still gonna die, though," I reasoned with him.
...and then he did. Sha.
So.... I ran off with Dylan into the desert and we did it like they do on the Discovery Channel.
Fin.