The Can You Improve Him Test
By Kat of the Phoenix
"Hey Kat, Jordan I got a test here. Wanna try it?" Mia said while waving it in the air.
"What kind of test is it?" Jordan asked while looking up from her book that she was reading.
"Its call the can you improve him test." She said while taking a seat in the chair.
"My man doesn't need improving. It's Kat man that does." Jordan said while elbowing Kat in the side.
"Well your man needs a helluva more improvement then mind." Kat said to Jordan while stinking her tongue out at her.
"Well you two stop it." Mia said while looking at the both of them. "So do you guys want to take it or not?"
"I guess what harm can it do any way." Jordan said while looking at Kat.
"Hai."(1) Kat answered.
"Ok. First question its Monday night and your Romeo is watching wrestling rather than helping you figure out logarithms. You can't get problem 4 to work, but when you call him he says: A) "I gotta call you back." Click.
B) I'll help you, but only until the commercial break is over." C) (grudgingly) "OK, let me pop a tape in the VCR and I'll be right over."
Did you guys getting and answer for that one." Mia said while looking up at them.
"Hai." The both said.
"Good next one He's agreed to come to your parents' holiday fete. But his wardrobe needs work! When you offer him one of your older brother's ties, he A) refuses to wear it, claiming that a polo shirt qualifies as semiformal. B) shows up wearing a collarless shirt in what he calls a Gandhi-inspired act of passive resistance. C) admits that it does look pretty cool. Mm Ryo would go with letter b." Mia said while shaking her head. Kat gives her a funny look.
"Guess you're right Mia my bro would go with letter b, but Sage will go with letter c." Kat said while looking at her. "What's the next one Mia?" She said turning back to her paper.
"Number 3 is the Eco Coalition is selling paper poinsettias to be distributed in homeroom the day before break. To be sure that you'll receive a greeting, you have to A) just tell your guy that paper poinsettias makes you want to smooch. B) put sticky notes on your sweetie's notebook, locker and forehead. C) send one to your self. It's easier. I guess I'll have to go with letter c on this one." Mia mutter.
"Will Mia what is number 4?" Jordan asked her.
"Number 4 is your honey has offered to take you out to dinner on your two-month-and-five-day anniversary; translation: chalupas at Taco Bell. When you suggest the new Ethionpian place, he A) agrees but demands a two-month-six-day dinner at Taco Bell. B) says cool; he'll try anything once. C) refuses. If there's no bit's o ground beef, it ain't dinner."
"Hi guys what you doing." Said a familiar voice in the doorway.
"Hi Kento you guys are back al ready?" Jordan asked with a smile on her face.
"Yep we're back." He said looking at the book Mia has. "What's that?" He asks pointing to it.
"It's a book with a test in it that we are taking." Mia answered him. "You guys ready for the next one?" She asks Kat and Jordan.
"Hai."
"Ok. Number 5 you're waiting for the late bus to arrive when you see him walking towards his car with his lacrosse buds, you A) ask for a ride, putting on your prettiest pout, which he can't resist. B) wait for the bus. He'd make room for you, but it'd be on some guy's lap. C) stay put, knowing that when he's with the guys, he's with the guys."
"What kind of test is this?" Kento asked.
"The can you improve him test." Jordan answered him with a smile on her face.
"Eto."(2) He said while trying to grab the test from Mia.
"Will you go away you baka."(3) She hisses.
"Will then I guess I am going to have to tell your men about this." He said while walking out the door.
"Ok where were we. Oh yea number 6 you head to the library to work on your geography project. Your guy is already there, sitting with Georgia, the class flirt. When you give him the evil eye, he says: A) nothing. In fact, he still hasn't noticed you 20 minutes later. B) "Hey. One sec—I need to get the notes copied down from Georgia." C) " Thank god you're here. I've been desperately trying to escape her."
"Tadaima."(4) Said a familiar voice.
"Okaeri(5) Ryo, Sage, and Rowen. How was your trip?" Mia asked them.
"It was ok I guess." Sage said while walking over to the couch Kat was on. "It would've been better you were there." He said while giving her a kiss on the check.
"He's right it would have been better if you girls were there." Rowen said while looking at Jordan. "And what's this we hear that you guy are taking some kind of test." He said take a seat next to Jordan.
"Yea Kento said it was some kind of test how you can improve him in bed kind of test or something like that." Ryo said while sitting next to Mia.
"No it not that kind of test. It's a test called can you improve him kind of test." Mia said while shaking her head.
"Oh." The guys said.
"Ok two ready for the next one."
"Hai."
"Ok. Number 7 as a member of the Young Republicans Club, he has some strong political views—most of which you disagree with. When you spark a discussion, he A) is willing to listen to your opinions, as long as you listen to his. B) Soon realize that you're right. He should: you are right—always. C) gets defensive and walks away."
"When you are done with this do you want to go up stairs and have some fun?" Ryo said to Mia while running his finger up and don her leg.
"Ryo." Mia gaps.
"Will you two lovebirds over there knock it off so we can get this shimatta(6) thing done." Kat said while looking at them.
"Ok number 8 he's not exactly quick with flattery, but you plan to change that with your new dress and funkster boots. When he sees you in the hallway he A) smiles and mouths "diva." B) waves and keeps on walking. Is he visually impaired. C) says proudly to his friends, "Don't you just wish she was your girlfriend."
"Are you almost done?" Ryo asked impatiently.
"We have two more Ryo my koibito.(7)" Mia said to him.
"Well hurry up then."
"Ok number 9 you're finally perfected your solo for the talent showcase, which falls on the same night as your guy's big game. When you try to convince him to come he A) tells Coach he's got 24-hour malaria and attends the show in disguise. B) compromises—if you perform last, you can make the first half of the game and he'll try to make it to your act. C) explains that he can't go—he's got some West High booty to kick."
"Oi (8) mina-san(9)." Said a little boy.
"Oi Ully has it going?" Ryo answers.
"Fine. What are you guy doing?"
"The girls are take a test."
"Oh."
"Mia what is the last one." Kat said wanting to get this thing over with.
"The last one is when he first kissed you, it was like a slug crawled into your mouth and died. After you gave him some subtle pucker pointers (straight from "The Boyfriend Clinic," page 66) A) the slug flails a bit. Hey, he's trying. B) he's offended and enacts a kissing boycott for the next three weeks. C) he suddenly becomes the sultan of smooches. Ok now it is time to add up your score and here is the answers." She said holding the answers out to them. "1) A=1, b=2, c=3, 2) a=1, b=2, c=3, 3) a=3, b=2, c=1, 4) a=2 b=3, c=1, 5) a=3, b=2,c=1, 6) a=1, b=2, c=3, 7) a=2, b=3, c=1, 8) a=2, b=1, c=3, 9) a=3, b=2, c=1, 10) a=2, b=1, c=3."
"So Kat what did you get?" Sage asked her while nibbling on her ear.
"I've got 30. Is that good Mia?" She asked.
"Yes. And there is something to go with your scoring." Mia said to her. "You want me to read it to you?"
"Hai kudasai(10)."
"Ok if you got 24-30 points he's New and improved? And this is what it said this guy is putty in your hands. Since you're been together, you're converted him to a kissing pro and a foxy fashion plate. Congrats, but keep in mind that any improvement your sweeties make should be his own accord—not because he's a sucker for a pretty girl. According to Anthony Badalamenti, ph. D., a psychoanalyst and author of How to Have Your Way With Men, "Women do have the emotional power to drive change. But what's important is the motivation behind that change." If both of you are happy with the new him, wonderful. But make sure that even as he learns to listen to your left-wing views, he remains the same guy you liked in the first place."
"So is that it than Mia she is done now?" Sage asked.
"Yes Sage she is." She said to him.
"Yoshi."(11) He said while getting up off the couch and turning around to pick her up in his arms. "Ja ne."(12) He said while going out of the living room.
"Matte(13) Sage I want to see what Jordan and Mia got on it." Kat said while garbing a hold of the doorframe.
"Ok but after that we are going up stair ok." He said to her with a purr.
"Yes my little kiobito."
"Ok Jordan what did you get?" Mia asked her.
"I've got 21." She answered.
"Room for improvement (17-23 points) this guy is living proof that you can dress him up and take him out… if you're willing to compromise, too. In this relationship, each of you tries to please the other, stuffing your faces with both Ethiopian cuisine and Taco Bell. "The easiest way to change somebody else is to change yourself." Says Badalamenti. By making small sacrifices (like taking the bus home instead of squashing into his car), you're not just changing him, you're improving yourself. And when he slips, lacrosse stick in hand, into the audience of the talent show, you'll know the effort has paid off."
"Ok Mia what did you get on it?" Ryo asked her in his bedroom voice.
"Will I've gotten a 12 on it." She answered.
"A 12 is that good." Ryo asked confuse.
"Well I guess."
"Why don't you read what it said Mia." Kat said to her.
"Ok. Lets see if you got 10-18 points your guy is the Same Old, Same Old. In spite of all your valiant efforts, this guy is cemented in his political views and his Monday night wrestling schedule. "When a guy is unwilling to experience new things, it's a sing of his rigidity," says Badalamenti. Still, a guy who's stuck in his ways is usually stable and reliable. His rigidity becomes a problem only if he's not willing to sacrifice at all for a relationship. So test him out. "If you tell him there's no pressure to change, he might become more flexible," suggests Badalamenti. If he doesn't change, and Mr. Right is actually more like Mr. He'll Do, refocus your energy: look for a boy closer to your ideal instead of taking the trouble to change this one." After she finishes reading it she sets it down on the table. Kat, Sage, Jordan, and Rowen all look at Ryo you looks a little sick from what she just read.
"Will Ryo I guess you better change or Mia might find another man to satisfied her needs." Kat said while garbing Sage's hand and pulling him towards the stairs.
"You know she right you do need to treat her better or you might lose her." Jordan said while given Rowen that you want to go up stairs and have some fun kinda look.
"Mia do you think I need to change because if you do I'll try." Ryo said in a soft voice.
"No Ryo I like you just the way you are and besides you can act really romantic when you want to if you know what I mean." She said while putting her hand on his shoulder.
"Thanks Mia." He said while turning around to face her. "Mia."
"Yes Ryo."
"Do you still wanna go up stair and fool around."
"Sure." With that Ryo picks her up in her arms and heads up stairs.
The end
- Hai means yes
- Eto- let me see
- Baka- idiot
- Tadaima- I'm here, I'm home
- Okaeri- welcome home
- Shimatta- damn
- Koibito (kio) lover
- Oi- hey
- Mina-san- everybody
- Kudasai- please
- Yoshi- good, alright
- Ja ne- see ya
- Matte- wait