Troy Bolton
Troy Bolton. The name really hadn't made my heart skip a beat whenever I heard it. His smile never dazzled me. His eyes never quite took a hold of me. That was until now. Cause you see, Troy and I have been pretty tight since, well I guess kindergarten. We were best friends and his family was pretty close to mine. You know, camping trips and Christmas lunches together. I remember looking at the pictures in our family album of us together when we were ten, mud-clad and proud of it.
But now things have changed, I no longer see him as a brotherly figure, instead I see the guy who I have fallen in love with. His looks appeals to me, his smile dazzles me, his eyes capture me and it's all because of that stupid party game.
So it all started at the party I was holding while my parents were away on business. I invited basically our whole year and of course my great friend Sharpay had this brilliant idea for a party game, "seven minutes in heaven". I nodded; it couldn't be too bad. Ryan looked over at me and grinned, I smiled back. He and I had a thing going but hardly anyone knew except for a few selected friends, which were Sharpay, Gabriella and Troy.
And so it was time for me to spin the bottle, and guess who it landed on?
Yep, that's right, Troy Bolton. My best friend Troy Bolton. I tensed up and everyone let out a chain of "oohs". I smiled awkwardly at him and Gabriella, who was right by his side. He got up, took my hand and led me into the closet. His firm grip was somewhat comforting amongst my discomfited feelings. How could I ever kiss him? He was my best friend.
We sat in silence in the dark for a moment until he finally had the courage to speak up.
"Leea, you don't have to kiss me."
I breathed a sigh of relief, the tension was broken.
"Good, cause you know that'd be really weird." I replied.
He laughed and I found myself at ease.
"So how are you and Gabby going?" I prodded. Gabriella was a good friend of mine and I was always eager to hear news about her.
"Oh you know," He mumbled. I frowned; this wasn't like him at all.
I pestered him to tell me what was going on.
"Well you see, we've been having a few disagreements and she's just been getting kind of distant lately". I nodded; now that he mentioned it I don't remember seeing them together that much lately.
He sighed, "Oh well, guess it wasn't meant to be. So how are you and Ryan hey?"
"Um yeah, good."
Even though I couldn't see him, I felt his gaze on me.
"Just good?" he asked.
"Well why our relationship is under covers I have no idea." I stated. "I don't really know if I want that in a guy. I want someone who can be open about the fact that he loves me, not hiding me under wraps. Love shouldn't be a secret." I felt a tear roll down my cheek, I had no idea what to do about Ryan, and if I really liked him and now I was just spilling the whole story to Troy and…
…and then he grasped my hand in his and brushed the tears away. He pulled me into a bear hug and I found myself listening to his heartbeat.
"Why he doesn't jump up on top of a building and scream to the world that he is lucky enough to have you as his girl I have no idea," He whispered into my ear.
And then it just happened; there was no awkward advances, no forced actions, nothing unnatural. He leant into me and our lips touched, his embrace was sweet and gentle, and I daresay innocent. His strong arms enveloped my waist as tenderly as they possibly could. As corny as it is, it was like magic. We didn't care for our friends, our lovers, our past or the fact that we were in the dark of the closet playing a childish game. It was like nothing else mattered. My hands rested on his forearms and I realized in surprise just how muscular he was. I never really took notice of any of his physical characteristics; I just knew that he was my friend. But as we sat there in the dark with our lips locked, I knew I was in love with him.
A burst of light flooded in as someone opened the door, I think it might've been Gabriella, but I wasn't sure, my eyes were still shut and I was still in Troy's embrace. When we finally broke apart I looked around the room. Jaws were dropped as everyone stared at us in a stunned silence. Ryan and Gabriella looked a bit put off but other than that everyone just looked absolutely stunned. Troy looked down and noticed that his arms were still around my waist. He quickly withdrew them as if my waist was burning coal and stepped back. The denying look he had in his eyes cut me right to the core.
He cleared his throat, "Um, yeah, so um…. Who was next?"
He looked at Gabriella sheepishly, she seemed unimpressed.
It seemed like that kiss didn't mean anything to him as he went and wrapped his arms around Gabriella. But I knew it meant something to me, it was just any old kiss because it made me fall in love with Troy Bolton. I walked back over to Ryan with a heavy heart and hurt in my eyes, I felt like crying but that wasn't going to solve anything was it?
The next day at school was even worse than I imagined. Gossip was going round that Troy and I were dating and even though I was in basically all of his classes he never acknowledged me once. I was so hurt, was he afraid of what Gabriella thought? Was he embarrassed of me? Did he think a stupid kiss ruined our friendship?
I felt so out of touch, people around me were whispering about what had happened but I didn't hear them. Friends approached me and tried to make conversation but I didn't respond. Teachers attacked me with questions but I didn't know the answers. I was like a zombie and I just couldn't shake the memory of the kiss from my mind. These, I knew, were symptoms of the fact that I was head over heels in love with Troy Bolton and yet he didn't give a stuff about me.
When the bell finally screeched through the corridors a wave of relief rushed over me. With my schoolbooks still in my hand I hurried out the classroom door, into the bustling hallways, desperately wanting to get home. But I hadn't been finished with just yet.
Ryan was waiting for me outside the building; I could tell he knew what was going on. I couldn't hold my emotions back any longer, he held his arms out for me and I just broke down in his embrace. He stroked my hair as I sobbed uncontrollably into his chest. I felt so grateful for having Ryan, he had always been there to support me even though he might not have liked the situation.
When my sobs had finally subsided to a meek hiccup Ryan held me at arms length and looked right into my eyes.
"Leea, if you really do like Troy I'm cool with that. After the way I've been treating you I don't deserve you anyway."
"Ryan, no-" I protested but he held up his hand for silence.
"Leea I'm so sorry. I was just so scared and I don't know what of. Maybe I just wasn't ready for you. But girl I can tell you I am now. I love you and I'm not afraid to tell the whole world."
Tears welled again in my eyes as he spoke his last sentence. I wish I could tell him the same, but I would be lying. He was a great guy and to be honest he deserved better than me
He leant forward and kissed me, softly and sweetly as if I were the most precious thing on earth. Guilt washed over me. It was true; he deserved so much better. We both knew that we weren't going to last forever but as he held my hand in his and courteously walked me home that night you could never tell.
--
missleea has signed in.
hoopstar14 has signed in.
hoopstar14: Leea! Look, I'm so sorry about today..
missleea:…
hoopstar14:.. That kiss was just so.. so.. so.. unexpected.
missleea: So? What's your point? You didn't say a single word to me today. It was like you were embarrassed by me or something.
hoopstar14: What? No! That's not right. It's just- I wanted things to cool down a bit first.
missleea: So you gave me the silent treatment?
hoopstar14: It's a little harsh putting it that way Lee.
missleea: But that's exactly what it was!
hoopstar14: Look, I know where you're coming from, and if I had known you'd have been this upset about it I wouldn't have even considered doing it. I'm sorry if I hurt you but the kiss…
missleea: About the kiss… Well Troy… I think I might've.. I think I'm in…
hoopstar14: I think we should forget about it.
missleea: Huh?!
hoopstar14: Can't you see all the problems it's causing?
missleea: Well yeah, but-
hoopstar14: I mean if we just forget about it we could get on with our lives. We could patch things up with Ryan and Gab and focus on how it was before the party. Don't you think?
missleea: Well.. I suppose…
hoopstar14: Great! So we're cool then..
missleea: I guess.
hoopstar14: Kk, good. I gotta go to b-ball training. So I'll seeya at school tomorrow.
hoopstar14 has signed off.
missleea: I'm still in love with you though…
missleea has signed off.
--
So tomorrow came and went and so did the day after that. The memory of the kiss had begun to fade from my mind as I realised that Troy and I would never be, we were best friends and that's the way it was going to stay. I knew I was still in love with him, yet I could cope with the fact that he didn't feel the same. But each day I was growing closer to Ryan, each day we were bound with yet another tie. Things were going seemingly well.
Troy had posed the idea of a quadruple date to our group that is if Sharpay and Zeke, and Taylor and Chad wanted to come along as well. Within our group we excitedly chatted the lunchtime away about when and where. When it was decided that our date was to be held at the beach I could not help but think of how nice Troy would look without a shirt on. It was a picture I'd seen many times before, but one that'd I'd never really taken note of. As I dreamt Ryan's hand found mine and enwrapped it in his own, which jolted the thought from my mind. I gave him a sweet smile, but beneath it all I felt extremely guilty. When would these thoughts finally disperse?
--
The waves whispered softly as the returned to the shore and sweetly kissed the white sand. The sun shone brightly as the eight of us clambered down to the shoreline. We had picked the perfect day to go to the beach; we had waited weeks for it. I flipped my heart-shaped sunglasses down over my face to shield my eyes from those harmful rays.
The rest of the group dumped their stuff and dived straight into the blue unknown while Ryan and I spread out our towels and laid down to soak up the warmth. I couldn't help but smile as we faced each other; I was so lucky to have him.
"So," He began, his soft blonde hair luminous in the sunshine, "How are things between you and Troy?"
"Fine," I said, and I didn't lie. I still loved him, but I knew it was good to be just friends. Plus things between Ryan and I had been going pretty smoothly lately.
"So I can kiss you now and you won't have any second thoughts?"
"None."
"Great." He purred, leaning towards me. I grinned and bit my lower lip.
"Oi loverbirds!" Chad hollered from the waves just as we were inches away from each other. We snapped our heads around and glared at him, "Jump in! The water's fi-ine!"
Rolling my eyes I jumped up and brushed the sand off my shorts. Ryan wolf whistled as I pulled my t-shirt off over my head revealing a neat little green bikini and I swear I caught Troy stop and stare but I must've been imagining it. Straight after I was free of excess clothing I raced Ryan down to the shore and stumbled into the inviting waves. He wrapped his arms around my waist as we joined in an excited conversation about the graduation at the end of the year, and I found myself at total ease. I wondered how things could get anymore perfect.
--
That night Troy was my ride home. Ryan would've gladly taken me but he had to visit some relative on the other side of town so that was out of the question. I jumped into the passengers seat and found a tape lying in the cup holder.
"What's this? I haven't seen one of these in years." I asked Troy as he revved up the engine.
"Take a closer look," He replied with a cheeky grin.
My fingers brushed across the label and I peered down at it.
"No way! Is this-," I exclaimed.
"The one we recorded when we watched the Red Hawks in the grand final." He finished.
Squealing, I fumbled around in the dark trying to find the right place for the old tape. When I finally inserted it our little voices crackled over the sound system. Troy, while still keeping an eye on the road, watched me with a grin as I sat in awe listening.
"Go Red Hawks!" My five-year-old self cried and I could not help but laugh.
A basketball bounced in the background as a young Troy commentated his own moves, "Bolton takes aim, he shoots and he just misses!".
This sent us into hysterical fits of laughter.
"Well weren't you pathetic," I giggled giving him a playful punch.
"Hey!" He exclaimed rubbing his arm as he turned a corner. "At least I wasn't the one making up those stupid cheers. Remember those?"
I gave him another punch for his jaunts. The tape carried on for another five minutes or so, it was filled with more cheers, more aims, more shoots and more misses than any basketball game I have ever seen.
I almost felt sorry as Troy pulled into my driveway, my cheeks sore from laughing. He switched the engine off and we sat and listened for awhile. The tape was still played but we had contained out laughter by now. My little voice now took hold of the cassette now, I was commentating on Troy's extreme talents when he looked at me. I knew what was coming, it was that look he gave me in the closet.
"Bolton once again takes aim at his target."
He inched closer to my face.
"He shoots."
And closer, until our noses were touching.
"And he scores!"
Then our lips met and it was seven minutes in heaven all over again. He cupped my face in his square hands and I rested mine on his forearms. My heart-shaped sunnies were sliding down my face but I flung them to the side and they landed at my feet. The tape stopped for a moment and then started playing an old "Genesis" song; Troy and I were not fazed by any of it.
"Listen, you know I love you but I just can't take this," sung Phil Collins.
My hands crept up to his biceps, and his dropped down to my neck.
"You know I love you but I'm playing for keeps.
Although I need you I'm not gonna make this,
You know I want to but I'm in too deep."
It was then that I snapped, I pulled away from his embrace and flung my hands off his biceps, one of the hit the cassette player and ejected the tape.
"Shit Troy!" I screamed, so angry I was shaking, "You can't just do that! You can't just run hot and cold! You can't tell me you want to forget and then go and kiss me again!"
He sat back in his seat with guilt written all over his face.
"What happened to forgetting? Huh? I'm not gonna waste my time on you if you keep hurting me." I opened the car door and looked over my shoulder at him.
"Call me when your mind's made up." I stated, getting out and slamming the door shut.
"Actually don't bother." I said through the open window.
Tears streamed down my face as I burst through the front door.
"Leea! Wait I-" He cried, but I had already pressed the door shut. Once the gentle purr of his car faded away I collapsed into a sobbing heap.
I couldn't believe it, just when I had learnt to cope, learnt to be friends, learnt not to love him and he went and smashed it all with a sledgehammer aptly named his lips. And now I was back at square one.
When I was ready I silently climbed the stairs to my bedroom trying my absolute best to let my tears descend quietly, so I wouldn't stir the sleeping house.
--
The next day I spent locked away in my room, sometimes I would stare at the ceiling just pondering in disbelief on what had happened the night before but most of the time I was slept, just drowning in my dreams.
The shrill call of a phone erupted through the silence but I didn't answer it. My computer screen flashed and boasted new emails in my inbox but I didn't open them. There was even a knock at the door, but I didn't let anyone in and all because I knew it was the one person, the one person who I did absolutely not want to see.
missleea has signed in.
tay.xox has signed in.
tay.xox: Hey! What's been up with you lately girl? Why weren't you at school today? Troy kept asking me if I knew where you were. He seemed VERY concerned.
missleea: Long story Taylor, I don't really wanna talk about it.
tay.xox: That's cool, but you know if you do I'm always right here for you honey.
missleea: Thanks Tay…
hoopstar14 has signed in.
hoopstar14: Leea! Listen, about last night…
missleea has signed out.
tay.xox: Oh bye Leea! xxx What happened last night? Troy?
hoopstar14: Sorry Tay, gtg.
hoopstar14 has signed out.
tay.xox: Bye??
tay.xox has signed out.
--
I woke to a bright Saturday morning with Mum peering down at me, almost reminding me of a hawk. I took a little joy in the fact that it was finally the weekend and I didn't have to deal with Troy for a whole two days.
"That little green dress will go great with your eyes honey. You should wear that."
Confused, I rubbed my eyes and drowsily mumbled something that put a question mark above her statement.
"Don't you remember? It's Jack birthday today and we're going out to lunch with the Boltons. I thought I told you that on Tuesday."
"What?" I asked, bewilderment fuming out of me.
"Don't be silly Leea," She roused, waving my reaction away as she headed out of my room. I sat up in my bed, the whites of my eyes showing, she couldn't be serious! "Now, we're leaving in half an hour so you better get up soon."
I fumbled with the sheets and slid gingerly out of my bed.
The dress was tossed across my office chair, looking stunningly gorgeous but completely out of place. I sighed and slipped it on. I really did not feel like dressing up.
My stomach began to churn and growl and I had an urge to throw up. I wished I could go back to bed and stay there, forever.
--
We arrived at the restaurant to find that the Bolton's were already there. They greeted us at the front door along with a strong scent of garlic and tomatoes.
Troy and I exchanged a quick glance and my eyes hurriedly darted back down to the ground, I shuffled my feet uncomfortably. The adults shook hands and kissed cheeks and Troy, being the gentleman he was, followed his father's lead in kissing my cheek. His lips were left hanging mid air as I jerked my head backwards. An extremely awkward moment followed but nothing was said.
The Bolton family led us to a long table where we met Jack's brother Ben's family, who we might or might not have met over years of various parties. They had two younger kids, Jack and Heidi, who I vaguely remember from years ago.
After the introductions and a few "I think we've met before"'s Jack directed us to our seats. I was horrified to learn that I was placed opposite Troy. I busied myself in a conversation with Heidi to take my mind off Troy, but my eyes always managed to sneak across the table and awkwardly meet his.
I didn't want to be in love with him, especially since he's done nothing but stuff me around, and I had absolutely no clue what to do with these excessive emotions.
I didn't want to be here, that was for sure.
When a big bowl of steaming fettuccini was finally placed in front of me I no longer wanted to eat it. I didn't dare, I was queasy enough as it was.
My fork twirled and spun around in my lunch, but never picked any up. I noticed Troy hadn't taken a bite of his pizza either. Jake, however, had already licked his bowl clean and noticed our untouched meals.
"Why haven't you two eaten you lunch yet?" He pestered.
Troy looked over at me shyly as if searching for a reason, although he already knew it. I gazed in the opposite direction as he contemplated an answer.
"A big breakfast I guess mate." He answered for the both of us.
Funny thing was I didn't have breakfast, nor did I have dinner last night. You would think I would be wolfing my lunch down, but I wasn't.
Everyone else had finished their meals and were now talking about the upcoming basketball game, Wildcats versus Bears.
Troy was happy to join in and I saw that he had stomached half of his pizza. I stared down at my food, twirling the pasta around my fork again, when out of the corner of my eye I saw Troy leaned forward and I felt a square hand on my leg.
I jumped and the hand was withdrawn. Troy leaned back in his seat with a sheepish look painted across his face as I shot him an accusing look. What the hell did he think he was playing at? Couldn't he see he had already done enough damage?
He leaned forward again and placed his hand on my thigh. I glared at him but this time he didn't back off, instead he placed something in my lap.
I looked down and there were my heart-shaped glasses, the ones I had left in his car the other night, wrapped neatly in a serviette. I unwrapped them and noticed a bunch of blotchy words scrawled across the serviette. They read:
"Seems I've spent too long
Only thinking about myself
Now I want to spend my life
Just caring about somebody else…"
My heart melted when I realized that they were the rest of the lyrics to the Genesis song that was playing in his car. I found myself falling further for him. My eyes crept up from my lap and met his. Those big, blue eyes spoke to me without saying a single word. They told me they were in love and were pleading for forgiveness; it sent shivers up my spine.
"Ooh!" Cooed Jake. "Troy's sending Leea love letters!" I giggled and turned a light shade of pink.
Troy cleared his throat, "Nah man, I was just telling her to finish her lunch. Because if she doesn't we can't go back to my house and have a game of basketball."
"Sure, sure." Came the sarcastic reply from Jake, Troy gave me a wink.
With one bridge of a song messily written on a napkin and passed under the restaurant table, Troy Bolton had my heart in his power again. I was still angry for acting the way he did, there were still some unanswered questions, he still had a lot of explaining to do and we faced the colossal problem of Gabriella and Ryan, but our feelings had been settled and we hadn't even spoken a single word.
It's funny how love works like that. All we need are some lyrics, a look, a gesture or even a pair of heart-shaped glasses to make us fall so hard and fast for someone. It's quite pathetic, really, that we're so vulnerable. But hey, I'm not complaining. And I don't think Troy was either as he flashed me his big gorgeous smile.
--
The after party was somewhat interesting.
As everyone was heading around the back to sit and relax by the pool, Troy pressed his index finger to his lips, took me by the hand and we made a run to the living room, being cautious not to alert Jake that we were sneaking off together.
Once we were hidden away inside Troy held my hands sweetly in his own and stroked the tops of them nervously with his thumbs. A collection of old music softly hummed in the background, I noted in delight that it was by Phil Collins before turning my attention back to the words about to spill out of Troy's mouth.
"Listen Leea, I'm sorry about all the shit you've copped from me. I should've never treated you the way I did. But I had absolutely no idea what to do, I mean, I was falling in love with my best friend.
I thought I could ignore my feelings for you but I just ended up ignoring you because my feelings for you were so strong.
And when I told you I just wanted to be friends, I lied- I was still in love with you but I thought it would be weird having you as my girlfriend.
Then last night in the car, I realized that I couldn't refrain from loving you. I wanted you, I needed you, and I still do. I am so sorry for everything I put you through, so please forgive me?"
His intriguing blue eyes positioned themselves in mine and pleaded for forgiveness. How could I possibly resist them? Their intensity magnified as I pulled his face closer to mine and forgave him with the unity of our lips. There was simply no other way to put it. I was in love with him, but I didn't really know why.
Suddenly, after years of running around naked in the backyard together, having sleepovers, going to the movies and even hugging each other, everything we do has a whole different meaning, a fresh point of view, a new light shed upon it. It was so exciting seeing him in ways I've never seen him before.
He pulled gently away from the embrace as the music track playing stopped and switched, Phil Collins began to croon over the system again.
"I've been trying oh so long to let you know
Let you know how I feel
So if Ii stumble and if I fall, just help me back
So I can make you see…"
"May I have this dance?" Asked Troy, grinning slightly, holding his hand out for me to take it.
"Why of course you may," I said, taking his hand and wrapping my arms around his neck, his arms gripped the curve of my waist. I let my face rest against his chest so I could listen to the beat of his heart. His feet moved in time with the music, mine moved in time with his.
I breathed a small sigh as I remembered all was not perfect.
"What are we going to do Troy?" I asked in exasperation, referring to Gabriella and Ryan.
"Well I don't know about you but I'd like another kiss," He said, breaking our rhythm and puckering his lips. His bright blue eyes danced playfully.
"Hey! I'm serious!" I cried punching his shoulder and trying my best not to laugh.
He sighed and returned our rhythm to the music, "I really don't know Lee, I mean do we just go straight out and tell them? Ryan seems understanding enough but I don't know about Gab. She thinks we were going so well and…"
I looked into his eyes, almost solemnly, "She really loves you Troy, she told me so in Biology the other day. She thinks you might be the one."
"But that's just it, I know she's not the one for me. You are. And it's going to break her heart"
I closed my eyes and breathed in his scent. Go away, I silently pleaded the problem circulating us, Please just go away.
xoxoxoxox
I woke up in Troy's arms with curious eyes peeking at us from all angles, we had fallen asleep on the couch. I checked my watch; it was past midnight.
"Time to go," Mum mouthed silently. "I'll wait for you in the car."
I nodded and carefully detached Troy's arms from around my frame, trying not to wake him. But once he had nothing left to embrace his eyelids flickered open.
"Wha-?" He asked mid-yawn, hair askew, still half-asleep.
I had to refrain from giggling. "I have to go now."
With one tired effort he got up off the couch. "Aw, so soon?"
I raised an eyebrow at him.
"Can I see you tomorrow?" He asked, blue eyes silently pleading me.
"Can't get enough of me hey?" I teased.
He threw me a smile but his face was painted with seriousness. "No, but we need to talk about-"
"I know," Came the whisper that escaped from my mouth. I thinned the gap between us and he closed it by pressing his lips against mine. The car horn sounded and I pulled away.
"Killjoy," He stated in mock-annoyance.
"I have to go," I said, squeezing his hand, "Talk to you tomorrow?"
Mum pressed the horn down again.
He nodded and quickly kissed me once more.
"Tomorrow," he repeated, just to be sure. The horn beeped a third time and I hurried out the door.
"Tomorrow," I breathed once the frosty air hit my cheeks. "Tomorrow."
xoxoxoxox
fuzzycat! has signed in.
missleea has signed in.
missleea: Hey chad!
fuzzycat!: Le-ea! Wassup?
missleea: nm, doing that biology assignment mr wicket gave us. wbu?
fuzzycat!: i've been talking to troy… how was last night.. aye?
missleea: you know about that?!
fuzzycat!: duh, me and troy ain't friends for nothing. why? does it bother you that I know, cause i won't tell ryan or anything.
missleea: nah, i don't mind.
hoopstar14 has signed in.
fuzzycat!: speak of the devil…
hoopstar14: huh? Oh hey leea! I've been trying to call you all day.
missleea: sorry, my phone's been out of battery.
fuzzycat!: …so as you were saying leea.. Troy's lips… they are so magical, aren't they!!
hoopstar14: bahahaha.
missleea: you're so full of it chad P
hoopstar14: leea can you meet me down at the park in 15? It's urgent.
missleea: sure thing, what for?
fuzzycat!: isn't it obvious? He needs his daily smooch session.
hoopstar14: …..
hoopstar14: tell you when you get there, seeya soon. Seeya at practice tonight chad.
missleea: seeya!
fuzzycat!: bye..
hoopstar14 has signed out.
fuzzycat!: I hear Gab wasn't too happy when she found out.
missleea: what? She doesn't know.
fuzzycat!: Troy hasn't told you?
missleea: about??
fuzzycat!: maybe I should let troy tell you then…
missleea: NO! just tell me now.
fuzzycat!: k, well if I get busted I'm putting the blame entirely on you.
missleea: ok, whatever, just spill…
fuzzycat!: ok well….