A/N - In the ASJ tradition of, sort of on occasion, not paying any attention whatsoever to what year something was actually invented or built, I offer you this fluff full of nonsense. Imagine, if you will, a certain couple of games were developed a few decades earlier, (one with a few of the board square names and cards changed), and found its way to Devil's Hole one year, (via Heyes of course), to help with the boredom of a snowed in Winter...
oooooasjooooo
Fireworks in the Making
"What's that you got there, Heyes?"
"Well, Kid, remember that last town we picked up supplies in? I found this new board game I'd never seen before and it sounds like it'd be right up our alley. It's called Monopoly and the object of the game is to get as much money and property as you can to run the other players out of the game. There's even a banker's job of keeping up with the money in it!"
"Sounds like a game right up YOUR alley."
"Aw, c'mon, Kid. Where's your competitiveness went too? Aren't you tired of playing the same old games to pass the time? This could be fun!"
"Could be fun for YOU. Sounds like you might need some strategy to win somethin' that sounds that complicated. And who you plan on playin' with? Half the bunch 'round here have a hard time playin' checkers the right way."
"Scared you can't beat me?" A sly grin appeared.
Kid Curry bristled. "NO, I ain't scared of not beatin' you! I beat you at Tiddlywinks all the time and you know it, even though you make me sit twice as far back from the cup as you do."
"You know that's the only fair way to play that with you!"
Now Curry grinned. "Well, maybe if somebody would practice his shootin' every now and then, we could play it the right way."
"I hit what I aim at!"
"Not in that game ya don't."
Heyes rolled his eyes and chose to ignore that remark. "You wanna try this or not?"
"Well, you probably won't shut up 'til I do, so go ahead, set it up."
Heyes smiled broadly as he cleared the kitchen table and set up the new game. "Look at all this stuff, Kid! This should be interesting."
Kid just kind of rolled his eyes as he looked at all the pieces being set out. "What's all this stuff for? We'll be a month just tryin' to figure out what to do in this game." He sat down at the table and picked up a square, green piece of wood. "Like this. What's this for?"
Heyes reached over and plucked it out of his cousin's hand, setting it in a pile with the others. "That, I believe, is a house." Having gotten all of the game pieces and board out and in their appropriate places, he sat across the table from Kid and started reading the rules on the box lid.
"How is that a house? It's just a green piece of wood. Don't even got a roof on it."
"It just is, Kid. Now, be quiet and let me read."
Kid sighed, already regretting that he agreed to play this mess of a game. He picked through the rest of the pieces and some of the cards while he waited for his cousin to figure the game out. He held up one of the cards and read. "Get out of jail free. Be nice if this would work in a real sheriff's office."
Heyes just grunted in reply as he continued to read.
The blond gunman picked up another card. "You have won second prize in a beauty contest. Collect $10. What in the world...?"
Again, Heyes just gave a wordless reply.
Kid looked up at his partner and grinned. "How 'bout this one? Hannibal Heyes gets captured. Everybody celebrates."
Heyes finally looked up annoyed. "It don't say that!"
"Just wonderin' if you were listenin'."
"I always listen to you, Kid... when you make sense... and that is a very rare event. Now hurry up and hush. I'm almost done."
Kid audibly sighed as he decided to shuffle the two sets of cards sitting on the board.
OOOOOASJOOOOO
After spending a few minutes explaining the game to Kid, they were ready to play.
"I'll be the banker," Heyes said pulling the tray of multi-colored money next to him.
"How come you get to handle the money? I think I should. My fingers aren't as sticky."
Heyes sighed and rolled his eyes. "Fine. We'll flip for it."
OOOOOASJOOOOO
Heyes handed out the appropriate amount of money to each of them and, after Kid counted the two piles to see if they both had the same amount along with earning a glare from Heyes, FINALLY, they were ready to play. Heyes was just about to roll the dice when there was a knock at the door. The two looked up at each other and Heyes called out, "WHO IS IT?"
"Wheat and Kyle. Open up."
"Go answer the door, Kid."
"No, I don't think so. Half my money'd be gone when I got back."
"Kid, you're starting to give me the impression that you don't trust me."
"You're right. I don't... least not in a game involvin' money."
Heyes looked annoyed once more and defensively said, "You're just as larcenous as I am."
"Don't think so. Ain't nobody as larcenous as you."
"Well that's their problem."
"I'm not leavin' the table unless you or the money goes with me. Don't think I ain't noticed you've already scooted that money tray a little closer to you twice."
Heyes shook his head at him. "Okay, FINE. We'll BOTH go answer the door."
OOOOOASJOOOOO
The front door opened and Heyes and Curry stood looking at Wheat and Kyle.
"What do you two want?" Heyes asked.
"What's a matter, Heyes? You 'fraid to answer the door by yerself?"
"Shut up, Wheat. What do you want?"
Wheat started to speak as Kyle poked his head around the other three men to look in the leader's cabin. "Well, Lobo was wondering..."
Kyle interrupted him when he caught a glimpse of the table. "Whatcha doin' in there?"
Wheat looked at his partner with an aggravated expression.
"We're gettin' ready to play a game," Kid replied. "Now, Wheat, what was you sayin'?"
Kyle's eyes lit up like a three year old on Christmas morning. "Can we's play with ya?"
Heyes hesitated. "Well, Kyle, it's a complicated game. You have to be able to read good."
Wheat huffed up. "You think we's too dumb ta play that there game with you two?"
"No, I'm just saying you may not like it," Heyes said.
"Now how do you know? We may love it. Heck, we may even beat you. I'll help Kyle with anything he can't read."
Heyes sighed as his head dropped. He knew the two gang members would never shut up about it if he didn't let them play and right now, at the beginning of Winter, he didn't need upset gang members to deal with all season long. "Fine. C'mon in and sit down."
Kyle grinned a tobacco stained smile and all but ran to the table and sat down as he peeled his coat off. "Wooee, lookee here at all this stuff. What'll we do with it?"
It took Heyes about twenty minutes to get the game rules across to Wheat and Kyle. It didn't help that Kyle kept asking questions every ten seconds. Heyes counted them out their share of money and they all chose a token.
"I want's them red squares. They's the color of dynamite," Kyle said enthusiatically.
"If you want them, you have to land on them," the outlaw leader explained... again.
Kyle stood up and looked to be about to climb on the table.
Heyes grabbed the short man's vest. "NO... no, Kyle. Your PLAYING PIECE has to land on them, not you."
Kid looked skyward.
Wheat stifled a laugh.
Kyle sat back down.
"Well, I'm gonna buy the jailhouse and throw all you all in it. That way, I'll win 'cause I'll be able to get everything then," Wheat declared.
Heyes closed his eyes to calm himself some. "You can't buy the jail."
"You said we could buy any property we land on," Wheat complained.
The dark-haired leader gripped the bridge of his nose. "I said any property that had a PRICE on it."
"Well, then I declare myself the sheriff and the jail is mine," Wheat reasoned.
"THERE IS NO SHERIFF AND YOU CANNOT BUY THE JAIL!"
"Calm down, Heyes before you blow up that blood vessel poppin' out on the side of your head."
"Wheat. Just play the game," Kid warned.
OOOOOASJOOOOO
Heyes rolled the dice and landed on a Community Chest square. He picked up a card and read aloud. "It is your birthday. Collect $10 from every player. Alright boys, hand it over."
"I think you made that up. Your birthday ain't fer another three months. I ain't givin' you nothin'," Wheat complained.
Heyes stuck the card in Carlson's face. "Read it for yourself. Now, give me $10."
Wheat blew out air like a horse would and reluctantly handed over the money.
"Thank you," Heyes smiled as he straightened his stack of ten dollar bills.
"Ya ain't welcome."
It was Kyle's turn next. He let the dice fly and landed on the 'Go To Jail' square. He frowned as he recognized it by the Sheriff's star drawn on the square. "Ahh, dang it."
Wheat laughed and pushed Kyle's token to the 'In Jail' area.
Kyle whispered to the player next to him. "Hey, Kid. Come break me out."
"He can't break you out of jail. I done told you the first four times you were in there how you could get out," Heyes said.
Kyle looked at his leader and innocently asked, "When did you start follering rules that you didn't make?"
Heyes stared at him a minute with dark eyes. "Kyle, if we don't play a game by the rules, it'd just turn into chaos."
"Huh? What's kaa..os?"
"It'd turn into a confusing mess."
"Well it's already that," Wheat intervened.
Heyes' eyes turned to him. "You're just upset 'cause you're losing right now."
Wheat looked indignant. "Not fer long..."
OOOOOASJOOOOO
After an hour and a half, and many more times of explaining a rule or four, all the properties had been claimed. Kid and Wheat each had two railroads, and neither would bargain with the other to collect all four. Kid also owned the whole top row of the board. Heyes owned most of the right hand side and bottom of the board. Wheat had acquired the two brown properties located next to the 'Go' square. Kyle had his red squares he so desired as well as the light blue set and the two utilities (which in this version was the General Store and Water Well). Almost everybody had some houses with the exception of Heyes who had at least three hotels on his properties.
Kyle rolled, and after moving his token, decided to build some houses. As he happily sat the square green houses on Oriental and Connecticut Avenue, he proudly declared, "I ain't buildin' houses. I's buildin' CAThouses!"
Kid just rubbed his face as he rolled the dice and moved, landing on the 'Livery Stable' (Free Parking) square. This game was fast getting on his nerves. "Why is this place even on the board? It don't do nothin'. I think somebody come up with this game to see how many people it'd drive crazy."
Heyes smiled. "Ain't nothing wrong with this game, Kid. You own plenty of places."
"Yeah, but by some 'weird' coincidence, YOU never land on one."
"Luck of the dice." Heyes grinned that infuriatingly cocky grin.
"Well I've landed on them enough. You 'bout broke me up, Kid," Wheat complained.
"You can always quit."
"Nuh-uh. I ain't a quittin'! I'm gonna win this whole thing!"
"Not if I can help it," Heyes chimed in.
Wheat sneered at the outlaw leader as he took the dice in his hand. He rolled, picked up his token, and started counting. "Ten, eleven, twelve..." Then we he saw he was about to land on one of Kid's properties which had three houses on it. "Uh...thirteen," he said as he moved over the orange property to the 'Community Chest' square.
Kid immediately caught what Wheat had done and grabbed his wrist as he reached to pick up a card. "Oh no you don't, Wheat. You can't roll a thirteen with two dice."
"Why not?" Kyle interjected.
Kid kept his gaze on Wheat. "You just back your butt up one space."
Wheat's expression turned flustered and red, but he moved his piece back onto St. James Place.
"Now, you owe me $550. Hand it over."
Wheat looked down at his dwindling pile of money, then back up at Kid defiantly. "I ain't payin' ya this time 'round."
Kid narrowed his eyes at him. "You have to. That's the price of rent."
"Well, consider me moved out." Wheat once again moved his token one space forward.
"YOU CAN'T DO THAT!" Kid yelled.
"Yeah I can. I sneaked out in the middle of the night." Wheat suddenly found himself staring down the barrel of Kid's Colt.
"I said you owe me $550. Now you gonna give it to me or do I have ta take it?"
Kyle laughed the whole time while Heyes tried to hide his amusement.
Wheat hurriedly counted out the money and gave it to the irate Kid Curry. "There. Ya happy?! I only got's $300 left."
"If you gonna play, you gonna pay," Kid said in an eerily calm voice as he holstered his gun and situated the new additions to his money.
It was Heyes' turn to roll. He landed exactly on 'Go'. He smiled. "Looks like I just got 200 more dollars."
Kid looked at the growing mountain of colorful cash in front of his cousin. "Heyes, I've noticed that everytime you get change from the bank, your pile of money grows more than it should."
Heyes looked up. "You're hallucinating, Kid."
Kid looked perplexed for just a split second. "You tryin' ta tell me you ain't slippin' yourself a few extra hundreds everytime you touch that money?"
Heyes looked him straight in the eyes. "Of course not."
Kid eyes narrowed once again. "Course not WHAT? NOT tryin' to tell me that or NOT stealin' money?"
Heyes hesitated for just a second before he answered, "That's right. Kyle, your turn."
Kid glared at his partner as Kyle rolled, landed on 'Chance', and had to go to jail again. "Ah, dang it."
Kid was still going at Heyes. "YOU CAN'T ROB THE BANK, HEYES!"
Heyes began to look irritated at being accused of doing something that he thought nobody had noticed. "NOWHERE in the rules does it say I CAN'T rob the bank!"
Wheat then tried to reach over Heyes' arm to the money tray. "In that case, I'm robbin' it too!"
Heyes smacked Wheat's hand back over to his own personal space. "No you're not!"
Wheat got upset. "AND JUST WHY NOT?!"
Heyes calmly told him, "Leader privilages."
Wheat looked like he could choke the dark-haired man sitting next to him, but didn't say anything as to not rile Kid anymore than he already was.
Kid angrily dropped the dice and landed on Park Place, on which Heyes had a hotel.
Heyes gave a huge dimpled smile. "Ha! You owe me $1500!"
Kid looked at the board and grabbed the red, rectangle piece of wood sitting on the dark blue space and held it up. "IN WHAT SICK WORLD IS THIS A HOTEL?! THIS IS CLEARLY A LARGE RED HOUSE! I AIN'T PAYIN' TO LAND ON THIS THING!"
'He's been around me too long,' Heyes thought. "Large red house or not, you still owe me $1500."
While Kid and Heyes argued, Wheat had rolled for his turn and landed on one of Kid's railroads. He hoped Kid wouldn't notice, but of course, he did.
Kid looked down when he noticed Wheat move. "HEY! That railroad is mine! $50, NOW!"
"You might as well give that $50 to me as Kid counts out $1450 more that he owes me!" Heyes said.
Kid was red in the face by now. "I said that railroad's MINE."
Heyes grinned, making Kid even angrier. "Well, your railroad just got held up. Hand it over."
Kid's stubborn streak kicked in. "I ain't payin' you nothin'."
Wheat chimed in. "If Kid ain't payin' you, then I ain't neither."
Heyes finally lost his temper. He stood up and started grabbing money from in front of both Kid and Wheat. "WELL THEN I'M ROBBING THE BOTH OF YOU!"
Kid was fuming by now. "IF THAT'S THE WAY YOU WANT TO BE, I'M MOVIN' EVERY HOUSE AND HOTEL ON THE BOARD TO NEW YORK AVENUE WHERE YOU JUST HAPPEN TO BE SITTIN'! NOW, YOU OWE ME $300,000 SO HAND IT OVER!"
Heyes bent over with both hands on the table. "YOU KNOW I DON'T HAVE THAT MUCH!"
Both Wheat and Kyle had scooted their chairs back to watch the fireworks.
Kid then stood up and leaned over the table the exact same way. "WELL WHY DON'T YOU ROB THE BANK?! YOU'VE BEEN DOIN' IT THE WHOLE GAME ANYWAY!"
Heyes straightened up, crossed his arms, and smugly said, "Yes, I've handled the money for the whole game, which in turn makes me a bank teller. Now, am I going to risk my life to keep a man from robbing the bank? No. If he wants to rob it, I ain't going to stop him."
Curry looked ready to kill as his cousin confused him thoroughly. "WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT?! YOU'RE THE BANKER AND THE ROBBER! HOW YOU GONNA GET HURT?!"
Heyes gave a crooked grin and shrugged.
That was it. That was all Curry could take. He stomped to the kitchen window and opened it. Then he stomped back to the table, grabbed the board and everything on it, and slung it as hard as he could out into the snow. He then turned around, his eyes like ice on fire. "NOW, NOBODY OWES NOBODY NOTHIN'! I WIN!"
Heyes never moved his body or eyes. "YOU owe ME a new Monopoly board."
OOOOOASJOOOOO
Preacher was on his way back to the bunkhouse from the barn when he saw the offending game fly out of the leader's cabin, followed by some shouts and the sound of someone getting punched. He shook his head. "I warned Heyes not to buy that game."
Another A/N - "The board game Monopoly has its origins in the early 20th century. The earliest known version of Monopoly, known as The Landlord's Game, was designed by an American, Elizabeth Magie, and first patented in 1904 but existed as early as 1902." (Quote from Wikipedia). The current version of Monopoly was first produced by Parker Brothers in 1935 after they obtained the rights from Elizabeth Magie for her patent. "The original version of the game in this format was based on the streets of Atlantic City, New Jersey." (Quote from Wikipedia)