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Sara Sidle sat alone in her bathtub tears streaming down her face. It had been almost a month since their "big fight" and Catherine still wasn't speaking to her. She reflected on the events of the past few months and this just made her sob harder. She had royally fucked things up and she knew it. She replayed the events of the past month and a bit in her head for what felt like the millionth time. She and Catherine had been getting closer. They had formed a friendship and had even become each others confidants. Sara knew she wanted more from Catherine but she was under the impression that they would never be more than friends. At least that's what she had thought until "that night."
Catherine had invited Sara out for a few drinks after work to unwind. One drink turned into three and three to five and five to, well, lost count. Soon they had found themselves back at Sara's apartment talking on the couch. Somewhere during the conversation, Catherine had leaned over and kissed her. Kissing led to touching, and the touching ended up leading to Sara and Catherine in bed together. The next morning, Sara had woken up to find her bed empty. In her eyes, Catherine had wanted nothing more than a one night stand, and she just happened to be the lucky choice that night. She had no idea the real reason why Catherine had left the way she did, and she didn't ask. First mistake.
Catherine made several attempts to talk to Sara, at work, after work, on the phone, every time Sara just said she was busy. She couldn't handle being rejected by the woman she cared for so much, so instead she ignored her, even though she could've sworn Catherine looked more and more upset each passing day.
And then, it happened. The big moment where Sara truly and completely fucked everything up.
It had been a long shift and Sara had been assigned to work with Catherine. This made ignoring her a whole lot harder. Catherine kept trying to talk and Sara just brushed her off. Finally they parted ways after work and Sara went to the place she always went after a particularly stressful shift; a gay bar off strip called Liquid Kitty. She knew everyone there and always felt comfortable. "Aww, Sar, what's up?" The bartender, and also her friend, Kristen had asked her. "I don't wanna get into it, just give me another shot please Kris." "Woman trouble?" She placed a comforting hand on her shoulder and passed her the shot. "You could say that." She downed the shot in one gulp. "but I'm still not going to talk about it." "Another?" "Yeah." Before she knew it, Sara was quite trashed. So trashed in fact that she didn't notice the person in the corner that was quietly sipping a glass of wine and watching her. She still didn't notice even when this person noticeably tensed when a bubbly blonde whose name Sara still doesn't know came over and began making out with her. Sara took the blonde home with her that night hoping for a distraction from Catherine. Second mistake.
The next day at work Catherine cornered Sara in the locker room tears streaking her beautiful face with mascara. "So that's why you've been ignoring me this whole time!" She yelled at a very confused looking Sara Sidle. "What are you talking about Catherine?" She was quiet. Not sure what the hell was going on. "That blonde, at the bar? You looked pretty damn friendly with her Sidle. Is that what you do Sara? Use 'em and lose 'em? I can't believe I actually let myself fall for you! I can't believe I gave my body to you!" She was practically screaming now and Sara felt her heart break at the pain Catherine was expressing. "Cath…I…" "Don't even try to explain Sidle. I can't believe you! You're nothing but a user and I can't believe I let myself think differently!" She turned on her heel and ran out of the lab. Sara just looked after her in stunned silence. Good job Sidle. Now she hates you…again. Sara thought to herself as she packed her things and left the lab for the night.
She called Catherine's cell, no answer. Showed up at Catherine's house, she wouldn't answer the door, tried to talk to her at work, Catherine pretended she didn't exist, or worse, looked at her like one of Grissom's experiments and walked away. No matter how hard she tried, Sara just couldn't get anywhere with the blonde, so she finally decided to give up and give her space thinking maybe that might make her come around. And now look where I am? She thought as she snapped back to reality in her now cold bathwater. "Fuck this shit! I need to talk to her, I need to fix this!" She said aloud as she jumped out of her bath, pulled the plug and towelled off. She had no idea what she was going to say or do that she hadn't already, but she just knew she had to find Catherine and at least try. This was one battle she wasn't willing to lie down and lose.