Crimes of Jack: Impersonating an officer of the Spanish Royal Navy

Author: immortal_jedi aka jedipati

Characters: Captain Jack Sparrow, Bootstrap Bill Turner, Hector Barbossa

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or the setting. I don't even really own the plot.

Author's Note: Written for the "Crimes of Jack" challenge on jack_madness on livejournal.

Thank you, arquenniel, once again, for the quick and wonderful beta work!


"Explain to me again why we're doing this."

Captain Jack Sparrow glanced at the pirate walking beside him, a prisoner apparently defeated. Appearances were deceiving. "Because the English will be here soon, and we don't want to get caught between them. An' we only have Spanish uniforms. An' we want to get that treasure."

Hector Barbossa rolled his eyes. "Aye, I understand that. But I don't understand why Bootstrap is an officer an' I'm th' prisoner."

Jack looked over at the third man in their little group. "The uniform fit him better," Jack said. "Plus, you have a beard. Bill an' I don't, right now."

"Besides, those shackles aren't locked. So what are you worked up about?" Bill Turner said from Hector's other side. "An' we've had this argument before."

Hector scowled.

Jack rolled his eyes. "We're coming t' an area where someone c'n hear us. So you'd best stay quiet from now on, Hector. Bill, try not to slouch."

Jack himself was being very careful not to walk in his normal manner. He had to remind himself with every step to stay upright, and not to wander down the halls. Luckily, he was only a year out from being a respectable merchant captain, so he'd done this before.

Albeit, never in a Spanish Navel officer's uniform, but he'd acted respectable once upon a time.

They passed a few officers who barely spared them a glance. Jack and Bill were able to mimic the stiff mannerisms of the officers, and Hector convincingly played a reluctant, downtrodden prisoner.

They continued through the fort unopposed. The lawful occupants of the fort were far more concerned with the approaching English fleet than with a prisoner under escort to what was presumably his fate. They only had a day at most before the English fleet arrived, and that prisoner was under guard.

Jack was fairly certain that was what each of the men passing them thought. Jack shook his head minutely. He had to stop woolgathering. They were almost there.

And just in time, too. Jack could just barely hear the sound of some sort of explosion. Suddenly, the men around them resembled nothing so much as ants when the ant hill is kicked in.

Jack jerked his head to the side, and they ducked down the passageway that led to the treasury. He waved the other two to silence as he listened. "Alright, Hector, get that door open," he ordered.

His first mate twisted his hands to pop the shackles off and took his sword from Bill before he began working on the door.

Jack and Bill turned and faced opposite directions down the hall, in case any of the legit inhabitants headed toward the treasury. This was just a precaution, because the explosion they'd heard was from a few more members of the Pearl's crew blowing up the armory and the powder magazine as a distraction.

"Got it," Hector said.

"Excellent." Jack entered the room, followed closely by his companions. They all stopped short just inside.

"My God…" Bill breathed.

"Yes," Jack said. "Better then we hoped for. Now get the grenados lit and against the back wall. I don't know how long we have before they realize that the first explosion was a diversion."

They scattered as the grenados burned down against the back wall, then exploded. Once the dust and flying rocks settled, Jack peeked out from behind the chest he'd used as a shield.

Jack grinned and sauntered over to the hole in the wall. He looked down at his crewmen, who were heading toward the hole in the wall from where they'd been hidden in the trees.

"Alright lads!" he shouted down. "Start collecting the goods!"

Bill watched the hall closely as the crew began carrying as much of the treasure away as they could. All of the chests they picked up were heavy, and most of them required two men simply to carry them, and getting them out of the hole took quite a bit of ingenuity.

Finally, all the crewmen were carrying the chests, bags, or boxes toward the carefully hidden longboats, to bring them to the Pearl.

Bill took on last look out the hall. "Still no one," he said.

"Good, Jack said. "Both of you take something from what's left. We're heading out."

Suiting actions to words, Jack grabbed 2 of the smaller bags, which appeared to be filled with either rocks or jewels. He followed Bill and Hector through the hole, and they headed for the longboats.

They had no problems getting the stolen treasure onto the Pearl, but as the crew prepared the ship for sailing from the hidden cove, Twigg spotted the English fleet.

"Bit early, aren't they?" Hector asked Jack.

Jack, still in the red and blue Spanish uniform, took the wheel. "Aye, they are," he said. "No choice but to sail right through."

He took a deep breath. "Full canvas!" he shouted. "And run out the guns!"

Bill, also still in the Naval uniform, headed below to supervise the cannoneers down below, while Barbossa took charge of the on-deck cannoneers.

Despite that, Jack hoped that they wouldn't need to fight. With a little luck, they'd be able to sail right past the fleet.

They did, but only because the man in command was more interested in the Spanish and their fort than chasing down one lone pirate ship. One ship did fire on them, but Jack merely waved in response. They were too far away to do any damage. Jack recognized the ship- the Relentless, captained by one Jonathan Flint. Flint had been an acquaintance of his, before Jack had turned to piracy, but one that Jack had taken joy in outsmarting. Not hard to do, with a man like Flint.

"Captain Flint!" Jack called out. "This is the day that you will always remember as the day that you almost beat Captain Jack Sparrow to treasure!"

Jack chuckled as they sailed away. Another successful raid.