His look said it all. Sam felt ashamed, like he was lying to himself, lying in the worst sort of way. He knew he should have said something, but the words just would not come.
As he watched Jules walk down the dimly lit hallway, he felt his heart tighten in his chest, his regret written all over his face. His whole life seemed to be falling by the wayside because he could not think of anything else.
His face would have given away his entire thought if anyone had seen it. He stared down the hallway after her, wondering why he did not say it. Say the thing that he feared would change everything; and he was not sure he wanted to find out if the change would be for better or for worse.
As he slowly began to regain his composure, Sam replayed the conversation in his head, willing himself to remember anything that would give away how she felt, what she wanted him to say, what she wanted him to do.
"Hey, thanks. For before, you know, um, speaking my mind." Jules let out somewhat slowly, pausing to look down, then back up at him.
Sam smirked, "Yeah, well people should right?"
Jules gave him a sort of half-smile. She paused. "Have fun watching your game," Jules half-heartedly stated in goodbye, as she turned and walked away.
He stood looking after her, his look giving his feelings away. "See you tomorrow," Sam sighed.
As Sam retreated to the locker room to gather his things, he couldn't help but remember the pauses, the smirks, the glances. He knew they meant something. He knew that the connection he and Jules shared would not be something he would just forget about overnight; he never thought it would be this hard to be angry at her, to hate her, to love her, all at the same time.
Jules had ripped his heart out, told him straight up that it was lose her or lose the team. He did not want to have to lose both. He wanted a choice. He wanted Jules to tell him everything she was feeling, lay it all out. Not just her frustrations about coming back, not her anger about getting shot, not any of it.
What Sam wanted was simple: he wanted Jules. He wanted all of her, her heart, her soul. He wanted to be there for her no matter what. He wanted to be with her.