Dear Diary,
As I lay here on my bed, I think.
I think about my family, my friends, Hogwarts, life and death.
Death.
The thing I fear above all. But why?
Why do I fear death? I don't know anything about it. Why am I afraid that it will hold me in its clutches and never let me go? Why am I afraid to leave the world?
Because I haven't lived.
My childhood was torn away from me from the same person who tore away Harry's.
As soon as I was taken into that Chamber, I matured. I have never been a child at heart since.
I am perhaps the most mature student at Hogwarts at the moment. Not at first glance, but if you look long enough and actually care about what you would find, you would see an adult inside a child.
Not that I am a child anymore. I am 16. I am a young woman.
I lost my childhood and it is the worst thing that has happened to me.
All I can think about is death.
Why shouldn't I die? There are people left, right and centre dying, but why am I not one of them?
Sure, I fear death, but it couldn't be that bad. Not as bad as the world right now.
Harry, Ron and Hermione are missing. I don't know where they are. No one does.
I lie in bed every night and think about Harry. I have so many questions to ask him, so many questions that I know may never be answered.
What would happen if I died?
What would everyone do?
Would they shed tears for me?
How many?
One?
Two?
Or many?
How many?
Would they cry for me, or for my family?
And who is they?
I don't know.
There are so many questions I want answered.
Who would let things go back to normal?
Who wouldn't be able to cope?
Who would think that things were better this way?
Who would think that I deserved to die?
Who would wish they were me?
Who would try and bring me back?
Would anyone?
These questions haunt me.
What if no one cared?
What if everyone wanted me gone?
What if they were all glad that I was out of there way?
No longer the annoying little Weasley sister?
Worst of all, what if Harry didn't care?
What if he was actually glad that I was gone, so he didn't have to worry about my feelings, and pretend that he still felt for me?
These are the questions that haunt me the most.
And no one is here to reassure me.
I'm stuck at Hogwarts, where I only have two brave friends, only two friends who know that what Voldemort is doing is wrong. Neville Longbottom and Luna Lovegood are my only friends at Hogwarts and they are not exactly coping with the mess Voldemorts bringing.
I write to mum and dad nearly everyday and I rarely get a reply. They're too busy out in the real to worry about their youngest and only daughter. They're too busy worrying about Ron, Harry and Hermione. Too busy doing all they can in the fight against Voldemort, while I'm at school, safe, alive, protected and hating every single minute of it.
Everyone tells me not to worry.
But still all these questions haunt me.
Well I've got to go to class now..
For the moment,
Ginny Weasley.