Chapter I

Just a Dream

My dear, Hikari, you must stop fussing unless you want a giant knot in your hair the day of your wedding!"

I looked up. "Huh?"

"You weren't even paying attention, were you? What am I gonna do with you?"

I turned to her and gave her a small smile. "Sorry; I'm kinda nervous."

What am I saying? My wedding's perfect. My groom's perfect. What am I worrying about?

Yolei stared at me, and then shook her head. "You're having the perfect wedding with a guy I fell for in high school. No need to worry, Kari."

"Thanks." I smoothed out my gown with sweaty palms. This is it. The big day. As Yolei continued fiddling with my hair, I clutched onto my marvelous bouquet of flowers.

Slam!

All eyes were averted to the door. A breathless Taichi Kamiya stood in the frame of the doorway. I gave a small smile to my brother and inquired, "What're you so worked up about, Tai? And shouldn't you be with Davis?"

That's when I saw it. Red puffy eyes and tears streaming down his face. This baffled me beyond belief. "Taichi?"

My brother sauntered up to me and carefully placed his perspiring hands upon my shoulders. "Taichi, you're getting my dress wet."

"I'm really, really, really sorry, Kari." His brown eyes looked as if they were begging for forgiveness. This confused me even more.

"That's okay, Tai. It's just a slightly damp wedding dress. I'm sure Davis won't notice."

Tai frowned. "Kari, take a seat."

Slowly I sat down upon a bean bag, Tai following suit. I guess Yolei had already left. He stared at me for a long time. "Good God, Kari, why does this have to happen to you of all people?"

I scratched my head. "Why does what have to happen to me? You're confusing me so much, Taichi Kamiya." My grip on the bouquet (which was still in my hand) tightened. "Oh and can we hurry it up a little? I don't wanna keep Davis waiting at the altar." I chuckled at the thought of the goggle-headed, well-dressed man constantly ogling at his wristwatch and then at the entrance of the church.

Tai exhaled. "Davis isn't at the altar."

I stared at him. "Well, then, where is he? The ceremony's starting in ten minutes!"

"Kari, he's not coming."

My eyes widened. "What do you mean?"

Tai allowed a stray tear to fall from his eye. "Kari, he-he's dead. He died honourably, though, in action." He sent me the tiniest smile.

I stared at him, shock evident on my face. Then I threw my head back and burst into laughter.

I don't know what kind of reaction Tai expected, but I'm sure he didn't expect me to burst out laughing, for he gave me a funny look. "What're you laughing about? Your husband-to-be just died! "

Tears of laughter were now falling from my eyes. "It's. . . because . . . you said. . . he died! You really. . . had me there," I managed in between giggles.

Taichi's frown marks deepened if that was at all possible. "Kari, do you think I'd be kidding about that kind of thing?"

I finally managed to stop laughing. "But of course. I mean it's impossible that Davis died."

My poor brother blinked at me. "I would never kid about death. And besides, everybody dies."

My joyful face just fell as the realization hit me. I was crestfallen. My face heated up. "H-He's really d-d-dead?"

Taichi nodded and the bouquet of flowers just fell out of my hands.

Suddenly, all my sadness dissolved into. . . anger. I picked up the fallen flowers and slammed them to the ground with newfound rage. I shouted profanities left and right and stamped out of my room, slamming the door. Bounding down the stairs, I paid no heed to the pricey shoes I was wearing getting kicked off. When I reached the landing, the church doors opened up wide, revealing the waiting guests, obviously unaware of the "change of plans." They stared right at me, so I swiftly put my veil down in a poor attempt to hide my tears.

I stared at my hands through the see-through veil and noted I still held a single lily from the nicely-arranged bouquet. I admired it momentarily. That was our favourite flower – the lily. It was what brought Davis and me together.

And then, I heard the trumpets from the military band. Reality hit and the flower fell out of my hand. Twirling around on my heels, I trampled out of the church.

Finding myself outside, I just kept running further and further into an endless forest until I came across a nice pond with a strategically-placed wrought-iron bench. I sat on it, staring into the endless abyss, barely aware of the tears pouring from my eyes. A song swelled up inside me, and so I knew I had to let it all out.

"It was two weeks after the day she turned eighteen
All dressed in white, going to the church that night;
She had his box of letters in the passenger seat
Six pence in her shoe
Something borrowed, something blue

And when the church doors opened up wide
She put her veil down, trying to hide the tears
Oh, she just couldn't believe it
She heard the trumpets from the military band
And the flowers fell out of her hands

Baby why'd you leave me, why'd you have to go?
I was counting on forever
Now I'll never know
I can't even breathe; it's like I'm
Looking from a distance, standing in the background
Everybody's saying, 'He's not coming home now,'
This can't be happening to me
This is just a dream

The preacher man said, 'Let us bow our heads and pray,
Lord please lift his soul,
And heal this hurt.'
And then the congregation all stood up and sang
The saddest song that she ever heard

And then they handed her a folded up flag
And she held on to all she had left of him
Oh, and what could've been
And then the guns rang one last shot
And it felt like a bullet in her heart

Baby why'd you leave me, why'd you have to go?
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know
I can't even breathe; it's like I'm
Looking from a distance, standing in the background
Everybody's saying, 'He's not coming home now,'
This can't be happening to me
This is just a dream… just a dream."

"You have an amazing voice."

I looked toward my right. Sitting beside me was a sweet, gentle-looking boy. I was kind of embarrassed that the boy caught me singing, but then I didn't really care at that moment. "Thanks," I muttered.

"I can tell you weren't just singing that song for no reason. Did something happen?" His ocean-blue orbs studied me momentarily. "Shouldn't you be at a wedding?"

My body trembled at those words. What wedding? He left me for the frickin' war! "I would, but I just can't."

The young man smiled at me. "Oh! Pre-wedding jitters. I guarantee you you'll regret it if you don't –"

"That's not what I meant."

His happy face flushed into confusion. "Then what did you mean?"

I bit my lip. "The groom's…. not there."

"WHAT!" This time he looked outraged. "How dare he! You're gorgeous, and you seem to have a very kind disposition. I can't understand why he would leave you! Unless he left you for a tramp…"

"No, no. He didn't leave me for a tramp." My face became red at that point. "But he did leave me!"

"Do you know why?"

I sighed. "Why are you talking to me? Shouldn't you be. . . at school or something?" I averted my gaze back to the water and stared.

I was brought out of my reverie by giggles. "What?"

"I'm gonna be eighteen next month," he informed. "I've already graduated."

"Oh." Why am I bothering to talk to him?

"I'm TK."

"All right, 'TK.' My name's Hikari Kamiya. Call me Kari, though."

TK grinned. "All right, since we're now on a nickname basis, mind telling me what happened at your wedding that's got you radiating anger and despair?"

I acquired a newfound interest in the dancing black ants busily at work.

"Well?"

"He… died. In war," I spat out.

"Oh. I'm really sorry."

"Don't be. You didn't kill him."

TK pulled me into a long embrace. "I know how you feel, Kari. My uncle is a dog of the military. Aunt Winry is always worried that

Colonel Roy Mustang and his wife Lieutenant Riza will fail to protect him from the dangers of warfare. That mustard gas… those trenches… Anyway the point is that life goes on. I don't know how much you loved this guy, and I know it won't get any easier, but sometimes letting go is the easiest way to move on with your life."

I was still in shock. Here this guy was, a total stranger, and he just decides to talk to me and hug me? He felt surprisingly warm though… "Yeah… but it just all feels like a dream I'm gonna wake up from any moment now."

TK chuckled lightly at this. "It's not a dream. I'm not something generated by your imagination." He pulled me away to face him. "You gonna be okay?"

I nodded solemnly.

There was a pause. "How old are you anyway? If you don't mind me asking. . . You just seem. . . really young to get married."

I half-smiled. "I'm eighteen as of a few weeks ago."

"Oh. Do you have a job?"

I raised an eyebrow. "No. . . Why?"

"I can get you a job." His face radiated with excitement as he jumped to his feet.

I smiled slightly. "Thanks, but I can't possibly be good for anything fishing related…"

TK looked confused. "Fishing? Oh!" He indicated the fishermen's hat at the pinnacle of his head. "This thing? I just like to wear it. I work on a cruise ship. My dad's a navigator, and it's my job to handle the rest of the ship to make it go smoothly, you know?"

My smile broadened. "Yeah, but I still couldn't possibly fit in to a job on a ship."

"As a matter of fact, I have the perfect job for you. You can sing on the ship!" TK jumped up and down with glee. I finally opened my eyes to him. I never really noticed what this boy looked like until right then. He wore middle-class clothes with age-old slip-on Vans. He had messy blonde hair topped off with an old fisherman's hat, radiant blue eyes and a smile that could light up any room. He truly was anyone's definition of handsome.

"Uhm, thanks, but no thanks. I should be getting back to the church now anyway. My sister-in-law Sora's gonna be so worried about me. You know how sister-in-laws are…"

That smile of his was wiped right off his face. "Oh, yes of course. In case you change your mind" – he reached into his pocket and pulled out what looked like a small business card and handed it to me – "call me, all right? I hope your decision isn't final."

I hesitated, then accepted the card. "Thanks. I'll remember you, TK." I beamed.

"Me, too. Well, see you later hopefully!"

I traipsed out of the forest, all the while contemplating the strange meeting in the forest. I stared up into the heavens. "What do I do?"

Davis's smiling face looked back at me. "Go for it," he mouthed.

My eyes widened. Perhaps I wasn't giving TK the benefit of the doubt. He seemed like a nice guy, very genuine. He almost seemed over-trusting of me. I sighed. I guess if Davis trusts him, I should too. Twirling the business card in between my long pale fingers, I made up my mind.