Author's Note: More vocabularies for breakfast! This is my first M rated fanfiction. Extremely-OOC; One-shot. Not much details. The description took them all.

Overhearing and Misapprehension

One day at the Rainsworth manor, Oz, was walking around the halls. He was waiting for Gilbert to exit the washroom. "He seemed to be doing something in there." Oz thought.

Once he got to the door though, he was rather nervous, and whilst he stood outside of the washroom, he overheard something rather peculiar, which only made him want to remain silent and find out if what he was hearing was correct or if his ears were deceiving him.

"Alice, are you alright?" Gilbert asked gently. "You're not in too much pain, are you?"

"No, I'm f-fine," Alice stuttered, "but could you hurry up? Your fingers have been in there long enough, damn seaweed head, you should know if it's alright to get in by now!"

"Be patient, stupid rabbit," Gilbert chuckled. "It's almost done, but the preparation needs to be done—for your comfort."

Oz looked really astonished at those words; he pressed his ears up against the wood so that he could hear Gilbert and Alice more clearly.

"I've told you before that, when I have a cold, comfort isn't on the top of my list," Alice raised her voice. "I just want to feel-"

"Don't strain your voice, rabbit," Gilbert suggested silkily, "I'd like to be able to hear your voice when you yell at me. How is your throat anyway? Is it still sore from last night?"

"My voice is fine," Alice huffed, "although my throat is a little sore, no thanks to you ramming that thing down there!"

"Just keep it down, stupid. It's not my fault for being so thoughtlessly rough with your fragile body, but you said you could handle it." Gilbert said matter-of-factly. "If I'd have known you had such a sensitive gag-reflex I'd have put it elsewhere."

Oz seemed horrified with the conversation going on behind this washroom. "Alice has got quite a girly figure and who knows, maybe Gilbert's just not into ladies, maybe he's a pedophile!" Oz was close to fainting when he tried to take hold of himself. Then, he continued to listen through the door.

"It's ready, rabbit," Gilbert announced proudly.

"It's about time!" Alice snapped. "I was starting to think you'd lost your touch."

There was a moment of silence before a painful cry came from Alice. Her whimpers startled the eavesdropper outside.

"Gil-bert, you b-bastard!"

"What is the matter?"

"You said-ready! Pathetic seaweed brain!" Alice was sounding out of breath and wasn't forming full sentences while she spoke through clenched teeth, "it burns!"

"It shouldn't do, I've made sure to prepare it the same way every time," Gilbert sounded genuinely confused and somewhat annoyed, "you haven't complained since the first time."

"Who cares about back then? It's hurting now!"

"Shut it. If you'd stop fidgeting and just relaxed, I can assure you it will feel better quicker, it won't feel as hot if you stop moving about," Gilbert spoke nonchalantly and with a sound of irritation in his voice.

"Or maybe if you-"

"Stupid rabbit, if you don't keep it down one more time, I swear, I'm going to shove this whole length in there!"

"Fine, I order you to make it more comfortable, right now, stupid sub-manservant." She muttered.

"That's better," Alice commented, "I'll tell you when I'm used to the feeling and when I want to start."

Oz was a bit relieved when he forced himself to make reluctant thoughts come into his mind. Maybe it wasn't the thing that he thought. Or is it?

"Gilbert, harder!"

"You're so dirty," He complained, "where you managed to pick up such filth is beyond me. Don't ever use that, that's a word that's not supposed to escape your mouth."

"Shut up," Alice panted lightly. "Just keep going. That feels good."

"Are you comfortable, rabbit?" Gilbert asked, "I'm not being too rough, am I?"

"No, if anything you could go faster and press deeper—ah!" Alice moaned.

"There, Alice?" Gilbert chuckled knowingly. "Do you want me to touch you there, again?"

"Fuck yes, again!"

"That language is not fitting a girl of your age. And you're so loud, the others in the house are going to hear you yelling and think something's wrong. I don't want Oz to know about this, it might make him unhappy."

"I don't care, just keep fucking going! It feels so good. Please, rub harder, it feels better that way and it relieves me quicker!"

"You do realise that what you're screaming out so loud is going to attract the attention of nosy servants, or maybe even Oz."

"Shut up! Just hurry, I'd prefer to have this over and done with before I get wrinkly and old looking!"

…..

Later than night, once Alice had been put to bed, Oz attacked Gilbert's personal space and bombarded him with odd questions and hypothetical situations.

"Master Oz?" Gilbert was taken aback by all the absurdity.

"This morning, and I overheard you and Alice while you two were alone in the washroom and, well, I am asking some questions and what something told me it didn't sound right."

"What?" Gilbert's eyes went wide with shock, never had he been accused of doing such things—not that he hadn't thought about doing those things to Alice, the girl did say and do such suggestive things on a daily basis, but it was never on purpose which is why Gilbert had never acted on his sexual impulses.

"I'm afraid, master Oz, that you are solely mistaken. What you heard has been taken completely out of context." Gilbert answered meekly.

"What were you and Alice doing, if not what I had thought?"

"Anyway, Alice and I weren't doing anything like what you thought we were doing. I had drawn her a bath."

"Oh," Oz pretended to say, "But if that's really what happened, then explain what Alice meant by 'your fingers have been in there long enough', 'my throat is a little sore, no thanks to you ramming that thing down there'," He crossed his arms.

Gilbert was about to answer with a reasonable explanation to each of the quotes, when he added more, "I'd also like to know what the young Master meant by 'Please, rub harder, it feels better that way and it relieves me quicker'."

"Well, about my fingers, she was in the bath water, testing the temperature. About her throat being sore was because I supposedly placed the thermometer a little too far into Alice's mouth for her to handle. I was worried for her vocals, so I didn't want him to strain her voice because, without that, how do I call myself a 'useful servant' when I can't solve some simple things?

Oz was speechless and wondered how this situation even got to this point, seeing as it was—as usual—nothing like it seemed.

"Ah, yes, about the slightly vulgar quote," Gilbert smiled, "I was giving Alice a deep massage because her back was aching and making her quite uncomfortable. She wanted me to massage her back faster because she believed that if something was done harder and faster, then it will be done quicker, it was quite adorable really. She still has such a childish mind, even if she thinks otherwise."

Oz apologised to Gilbert, feeling bad for accusing him of such things. He really did feel quite terrible.

Gilbert bade Oz goodnight as he headed for his own bedroom.

"If only you knew what I really wanted to do to that delicious child," the perverted side of Gilbert shone through, licking his lips and growing more aroused at the tasty, all-too-tempting thought. 'If I ever get the chance of Alice wording an official order in a way I can twist to my advantage, I'm going to fuck the soul right out of her.

THE—obstinate—END

Author's Note: Kinda half bad is it? I know, I know it is. It was due to the OOC. Anyway, for Gilbert's last comment, how many would like to vote for another sequel of this one shot? Just add +vote to your review so I can see how many wants.