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I do not own Death Note, nor its characters. I only own the story with which I use the characters in now.
chapter 1: beginning pieces
Light was not waiting for L to come back that night. Light was not hoping that L would hold him again, like he did that one night, one night so long and far away ago.
The hours (minutes, seconds, too long to wait) ticked by slowly like dripping paint, just haunting the room in which Light sat, not waiting for L, no, never waiting for L at all. All that seemed to make a sound was the melody of the clock whispering the time past and the flowers rustling, wilted from the endless not-waiting Light was doing. It was like nothing moved in the place, all because L wasn't there to make it move (Not the Light was hoping he would, because he wasn't.).
It was late, later, then all of sudden latest, because Light wasn't keeping track of time anymore. Time was when L appeared at the doorway and when L left, left him (so many times lately, Light thought worriedly) all alone with only sadness to fill his world with.
Sometimes Light wondered if L even cared for him, but when he came back, L always loved him. Always.
Sometimes Light wondered if L intended to keep him here forever, dependent on him for all he ever would need. It frightened Light sometimes, but when L kissed him, the wonder floated away.
Silly Light sat there, not-waiting for L to return, and watched as the old lady who lived in the building next to theirs (because it belonged to them, like everything in the whole wide world did) set her little canary free, watched as it flew up so high, closer and closer to the sun.
(Light sat there and briefly wished he could join, but dismissed it as soon as L arrived at the door.)
,
'Let's pretend'
'Okay.'
Usually, they played Cinderella.
Light was Cinderella.
L was the Prince.
Everyone else was imaginary.
L always saved Light from the imaginary baddies who wanted to hurt him and keep him for their own and Light always fell madly in love with L and lost his shoes to the midnight hour.
The imaginary people just watched. They didn't matter much anyway; all they did was try to keep Cinderella and the Prince away from each other. They were always defeated in the end, always proven wrong.
(It sounded too much like real life sometimes, but L and Light got away with it by pretending.)
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Some people thought Light was unhappy, but that wasn't true. They just didn't know what love was anyway.
(To tell the truth, neither did Light, but he guessed what he felt when L whispered in his ear nice things was fairly close.)
,
"Hey Ryuzaki."
"Yes Yagami-kun?"
Light looked at the ground for a moment before looking up at L with a sharp glint in his eye.
"Why do you stare at me so much?"
L nibbled on his thumb a bit and looked at Light naively before answering back bluntly:
"I find Yagami-kun mildly attractive. Does Yagami-kun find this distressing?"
A shocked Light stared rather rudely at L while L continued his work without so much as blinking. Did he just hear right? Did the words he thought he heard truly fall from the detective's lips? There he sat, completely unnerved and without a single proper reply (How could he have one? This had never happened to him before.).
L gazed lazily over at Light and said:
"If Yagami-kun is finished sitting there looking like a fish, could he please do his work?"
Light returned to his work, flipping through various papers that said various different things before turning around to say loudly:
"Just mildly attractive?"
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"Yagami-kun."
"Yes?"
"Are you asleep?"
"Not now."
"Oh good, I wanted to ask you something."
"What?"
"Do you love me?"
"Ryuzaki."
"Hm?"
"What an entirely silly question to ask."
,
the end of chapter 1: beginning pieces
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chapter 2: keeping
If it were what L wanted, he would keep Light in his pocket, safe from any bad men to take him, shake him, or make him hurt. He felt so weak when he was away from Light, as if he'd lost an appendage, or something, the world becoming alarming more dangerous for his little porcelain doll of a lover to be walking around in.
Sometimes it felt like L was walking on eggshells when he was keeping Light safe, with every bad person in the world waiting for him lose balance so they could swoop in a take Light away from him and shatter him until he was no longer L's precious little angel, but a shadow that pretended to be him.
(Leave it to the bad men to turn pretending into something bad.)
,
When Light first entered his cage, he didn't see it as such. It took a little bit, but he saw it for what it was finally, one day when L went out and locked the door.
Light didn't know it was locked, but when he tried to open it, it would not budge.
And then it dawned on him. The walls of the room changed into bars, thick and unbreakable. He banged on the door, his arms throbbing from the hurt, but never stopping.
(How could he have not noticed, he thought, how?)
L was keeping him forever, under lock and key, his little songbird never to escape. The hurt was bad, and Light had to stop. He slid down the door, almost crying (but he didn't, because somehow he couldn't), the walls of his new gilded cage blurring as he closed his eyes to sleep (to escape.).
,
"We blind 'em sir. That's what we always do. Blind 'em and, not knowing night from day, they sing and sing without stopping, pretty creatures."
-Sweeney Todd
,
L didn't want to hurt Light, that was what everyone else wanted to do. He wanted to keep Light safe, so no one could hurt his beautiful face or body.
They simply didn't realize how delicate Light was. The way they spoke, the way they greeted, the way they touched and broke everything was too much for his Light, too much. He didn't want any of the horrid humans, nasty, wretched things, shattering his angel's fragile wings.
(L never shattered Light's wings. He took them and hid them, because L loved Light too much to let him fly away.)
,
"Have the pleasure of the bird, sir."
-Sweeney Todd
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Where ever Light was, L knew. Whenever Light left, when ever Light stayed, L knew. Everything, all the time, L knew, L knew, L knew.
Somehow Light thought that he should be angry about this, but he never was, because it was just how things were. Just how they'd always been.
(Pestering him in the back of his head was a time when he wasn't kept so close under a person's watch, but his screams of ecstasy drown out everything.)
,
"If Yagami-kun would only listen to me, I could make my point!"
"Your point?! Ryuzaki, you locked me in this apartment so I couldn't get out. You don't trust me to leave."
"No, that is not what it is. Not at all Yagami-kun."
"Oh really? Than what is it Ryuzaki? Why am I trapped within the walls of our home?"
"I am not trying to keep you in Yagami-kun."
"Oh, right, that's why you locked the door, refused to allow me access to the real world and..."
"I am trying to keep them out."
"Who is 'them' Ryuzaki? Who are they?"
"The bad people Yagami-kun, the bad people."
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the end of chapter 2: keeping
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chapter 3: little things
Often, Light fancied going to the theatre with L to see a play or two. Usually they saw something Shakespearian or something of that sort, but recently Light had fallen in love with a great number of musicals and insisted upon seeing them.
L didn't enjoy musicals all that much, but it was okay with him to see them because it gave him a good excuse to put his hands around Light.
(Of course, Light knew that he should have been paying attention to the deep notes floating through the theatre's vast walls, but the warmth L exuded was too perfect to be ignored.)
,
History was playing mind games with Chief Yagami. Horrible, terrible mind games that made him sit down and wait for all the noise to stop, all the memories past playing over and over in his head like a bad film reel.
Light had always liked films, mostly old black and white detective films. He'd never got why the boy insisted upon always renting them, usually in English. He supposed now he'd never get to ask why. Not now that Light was nowhere to be found.
He chided himself for thinking of Light. The boy wasn't worth wasting his thoughts on; he'd already proven that (many times over). The pale sunlight of the dawn crept onto the kitchen table and birds woke from their slumbers to sing sweetly into the morning air. Chief Yagami's coffee was growing cold and he didn't quite feel the motivation to get up and make a new cup. The old cheap glass of the cup reflected the Chief's hands, held together in an anxious, tangled manner. The world seemed a little greyer today, a little darker than the day before. This day was a day destined to be without light, forever more (nevermore...).
Upstairs he could hear his wife shuffling about, wondering, probably, where he was (except she knew, because this was where he always was.). He sipped his cold coffee and watched the birds flutter away on the breeze of a new day. It didn't matter to Chief Yagami, no day seemed new anymore. Not when something was missing, not when a piece seemed to be all but lost to him.
(The days moved on and birds kept singing, but none of these things brought Light back.)
,
When Light was eight, he tried to ride his bike with no handlebars (Light was rather adventurous for an eight year old with a wardrobe of mostly earth tones.).
The park was clear, the sun was bright, and no person accompanied him on his great exploit. He was all alone, just the way he preferred it. His bike glistened in the sun, its pretty blue shine attracting the stares of envious peers.
He pressed down upon the pedal, pushing himself into a steady pace before slowly removing his hands from the bars.
It was freedom.
The wind whipped around his face and the world passed him by, but Light knew that nothing could hurt him, not while he was flying (or feeling like it). Shouts of younger children surrounded him and the calls of their bedraggled mothers seemed all but echoes of the world Light was no longer a part of. Everything was perfect and everything fit. He could see the meaning of life, the meaning of hope, the meaning behind all the things humans did.
And then he fell. His bike hit a rock and he and the bike went sprawling across the sidewalk. The sudden return into the real world was a shock to him. The sting of the scrape on his leg was a grounding sort of pain that he realized brought him right back down to Earth from his flight. The colors, the wind, and the sweet feeling of happiness and peace dissipated in the air, and all that was left of the once miraculous flying wonder was little Light Yagami with a scraped knee sitting among the screaming children wondering where the magic went.
(Light wonders now what would happen if L left him, because the feeling he gets when he's with L is equal to that of no handlebars.)
,
"Oh L, I wanted to know if we needed milk."
"I think we do. I cannot remember Light-kun."
Light looked at L confused for a moment before replying:
"You can't remember if we have milk?"
L turned to look at Light before sighing and waving a hand at the boy as if to shoo him away.
"Watari can get it. You stay here. Your favorite movie is on anyways, that American one, A Walk to Remember, yes?"
Light blinked bfore hanging his head slightly in defeat. He walked over to the couch and sat next to L, who clicked the remote until the beginning scenes of the movie could be heard. Light wiggled closer to L, whose arms enclosed around Light's waist.
Tired from the day, Light fell asleep in L's arms before the movie ended and was snoring sweetly as the ending credits faded. L ruffled Light's hair and could not find it in himself to wake the boy. He lied down on the couch, bring Light closer to his chest. Soon he too fell to the enticing trap of sleep, the glow of the television softly enveloping them in a sort of technicolor cloud.
(Light listened carefully to L's heart and found it fluttered against his chest, like that of a trapped bird.)
,
Softly, sweetly, hurting just slightly did it happen and before Light knew it he was in love.
(What a horrible and wonderful experience all together, Light thought.)
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the end of chapter 3: little things
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chapter 4: crashing down
You see, L had his reason to keep Light there. L always had his reasons for what he did. It didn't matter if Light threw angry fits, it didn't matter if Light hit him. L had his reasons and that was that.
(He almost wavered when Light, sobbing, told him he couldn't remember the color of his sister's eyes.)
,
It was because Light went grocery shopping. Light went grocery shopping, even though L said Watari could do it, even if they only needed flour, even if L had told him that he was never allowed to leave. Light went grocery shopping and his excuse?
'I want to see the sun again.'
Light, the idiot, the downright, moronic, stupid, stupid, stupid idiot went grocery shopping and that was the start of the whole mess.
,
It was because BB was mad. BB was mad because L was doing something bad. L was trapping such a pretty creature within such confining walls and causing it to beat its wings upon the bars of its gilded cage, wishing for freedom. It was because BB was mad and because he couldn't stand L and because his heart sang out to the beautiful boy going grocery shopping simply because he wanted to see the sun again.
BB knew what he had to do. He had to free the boy, the beautiful boy, from his cage. He just had to, he just did. If he didn't, he feared L would numb the boy's wish forever to be free. He would free the boy's spirit again, he would he would.
It was becuase BB was mad that had finished the whole mess and that was how it was.
,
If L had to choose a moment to never relive again, it would be the moment he picked up the phone and heard three simple words that shattered everything:
"Light's been shot."
What? What? What? It was the only word L could muster as his world fell slowly to the ground into a million pieces.
,
While doctors and nurses rushed around him, Light was somewhere else entirely.
Far from the drama filled ER, Light was at the park, riding his bike with no handle bars. The only difference was now L was there keeping him up so that he never fell to the reality of the sidewalk, so that they stayed suspended forever in thier happiness.
(Light had to admit, it was a pleasant little dream, but he was growing tired of it and wished the people out there would hurry and fix things up so he could get back home and make that cake for L.)
,
They wouldn't let L see him. They wouldn't.
There, mere feet away, was his love, his world, his Light, dying and they wouldn't let L see him.
'Family members only.' they had said.
Good luck finding some that will come, L had thought as they escorted him the dreary little world of the wating room.
(Only people with dying relatives were there and they all were quite surprised at the odd man who came in, but when he sat down and began to stare listlessly at the ceiling, they recognized him as one of their own, a sad soon to be mourner grasping at one little shred of hope.)
,
It turned out Light had been right.
Ryuzaki had been storing cake in the bedroom drawer. He confronted the man straight up about how he disliked the bedroom becoming a sort of confectionary kitchen and was given the answer of:
"Perhaps Yagami-kun knows of a better way I can use the bedroom."
Light blushed profusely at that and began to babble incognizantly before Ryuzaki pressed two fingers to his lips.
"Do not speak," he whispered, "I've something I want to do." With that, he replaced his fingers with his mouth and kissed Light softly on the mouth. He pulled back hesitantly and looked at Light, who looked back at Ryuzaki and said plainly:
"I hope that you've got more of those you want to do."
,
Slip, slip, slipping. Slip, slip, slipping. The boy was slip, slip, slipping and there was nothing they could do about it.
Until a doctor read the charts over and looked again and saw what could be done and rushed and told the other doctors. Then, only then, did the slip, slip, slipping turn into beating.
,
Saved. That was the word for it. Saved.
L cradled Light in his arms and held him close as the boy continued to sleep. Saved, that's what had happened. Saved, saved, saved.
(L knew that word had to be magical because the more he repeated it, the more it seemed to work.)
,
"Hey L?"
"Oh god, yes Light? Yes, whatever you want, you can have it, I'm just so glad you're alive, oh god, Light, oh god, Light, oh god."
"I saw the sun again."
"Oh that's wonderful love."
"Yeah, it was. 'Cept I forgot how how lame it really was."
"Ah."
"Hey L."
"Yes Light."
"Do you love me?"
"Light."
"Yes?"
"What an entirely silly question to ask."
,
the end of chapter 4: crashing down
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the final chapter: a story
"Hey L?"
"Yes Light?"
"Will you tell me a story?"
,
Once upon a time, there was a prince who wanted to be saved, but only ended up saving others.
He was always sad and grew bored with the world that he lived in and the people in it only seemed to serve to bother him. He wanted to have someone keep him company, someone to hold him instead of him holding the world.
The prince became colder and colder to the world unitl he created a barier between him and all the other people in the world. He loved none, yet many loved him and in the back of his sad, sad little heart, the prince wished for a love to warm him.
Once upon a time, there was a prince who lived alone with no one and never wished for anyone but himself for company. He was rather famous, for he hunted down bad men, but he wished someday that he could save a person instead of catch one.
The prince became so alone that no one would ever see him and bad men became the only things he would find. Not warmth, only cold, and his sad, sad, small heart wished for a love to warm him.
Their worlds clashed briliantly one day when the prince who wished to be saved was running to his palace and lost his shoe one the way.
A simple shoe, a shoe that no one would miss but the prince. The prince who lived alone found the shoe and looked all over for the one the shoe belonged to, only to find the prince sitting upon the steps of the castle looking very forlorned over his missing shoe.
All it took was one look into the eyes of each other that the lonely prince and the prince who lived alone to fall in love. Quickly the shoe was slipped on the prince's foot and as if by magic, it fit beautifully and the prince found himself being swept off his feet. The prince who no longer lived alone took him away from all the people who used and were saved by the prince and promised him that he would keep him safe forever. The prince quite liked this idea and together than saved each other from loneliness and all the bad men who wanted to hurt them.
,
"And they lived happily ever after."
L looked over at Light as he finished his story and found the boy had fallen asleep in his arms. He smiled slightly and reached over to pull the covers over him when he was stopped by Light's voice.
"That's us right L."
L nodded and pulled the covers all the way over Light's body. Light ignored that and huddled closer to L's chest, trying to suck all the warmth from it. L chuckled at the kitten like quality this held and envolped Light with his arms as he pulled him close into his embrace.
"Yes Light, that's us. We will live happily ever after."
(The birds are singing loudly, but this time it's a prettier tune than before.)
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save: 3. to keep from being lost
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a.n. Music listened to:
No Handlebars by Flobots
Map of a Problematique by Muse
Soulder's Poem by Muse
HooDoo by Muse
Invincible by Muse
Get Outta My Head by Ashlee Simpson (Don't ask, I had it stuck in my head, so I had to play it.)
please review I suppose...