Author's Notes:
A few things before I leave you to reading and probably never put any more author's notes (unless it's to answer reviews or something important):
1) Tavros is still crippled (no metal legs, sadly), Sollux goes back to being blind, Gamzee is less insane but not completely back to normal, Kanaya is not a vampire; really, just put them all back to how they were before all the craziness started.
2) I suck at coming up with creative curses or anything like that, so if Karkat doesn't curse colorfully enough, feel free to help by giving me suggestions.
3) They have been on Earth for at least three years, making them all around sixteen or seventeen and in junior year of high school. I realize the writing might make it seem like it hasn't been that long at first, but I can't really do anything about it. Also, they use block scheduling because I hate regular scheduling. If you don't know what block scheduling is, it is where you have four one and a half hour classes half the year, and four different classes the second half. So, a schedule would be like this: period 1, period 2, period 3, lunch (30 minutes), period 4. You actually waste a few school days this way ;)
4) As an add on to the one above, I am giving them non-specific classes because this is less about them learning human knowledge and more about their relationships with each other.
5) This idea got stuck in my head and wouldn't go away. It had to be done.
6) Questions? Ask me! I don't bite.
7) Happy reading, and review if you feel like it!
P.S. Pairings will be crazy and all over the place. Some you won't even expect (maybe)! But I can tell you with certainty that the main pairing at this point (as you will read) is Gamzee/Tavros. So yeah, don't like, don't read, right? But really, if you're in to Homestuck, you have to be open to the craziness that is troll relationships.
Disclaimer: Do not own Homestuck. Honestly, I wouldn't want to because it is amazing and hilarious as is, and I know I wouldn't be able to make it better!
/Schoolstuck/ In Which Vriska is a Bitch /Schoolstuck/
Tavros Nitram rolled his wheelchair morosely down the school hallway. Each press of his hands to the wheels made his callouses known over and over. The kids around him side-stepped and skirted about him, some giving him pitying or disgusted looks. He focused on the steady movement needed to get him to his first class, the monotony of having done this every day for years since his accident. Tavros sighed, slowing minutely.
"Hey, Tav," a voice said in his ear.
Tavros jumped and almost rolled backward into the person but was stopped by hands on the handles of his wheelchair.
"Whoa, Tav, watch it. A motherfucker needs his feet all fuckin' unscathed to walk."
Tavros looked over his shoulder, and his nose brushed up against Gamzee Makara's (after Gamzee avoided one of his large horns). The lithe troll was leaning forward with his elbows resting on the handles of Tavros' wheelchair. Tavros blushed a deep orange and jerked his chair forward. Gamzee staggered but kept his balance, standing up straight as Tavros turned around.
"Hi, Gamzee, um, sorry."
"No need to be all fucking sorry, Tav; it's all motherfucking fine and shit. Anyway, you need any help getting to class?"
Tavros frowned. He wasn't some disabled - okay, he was, but he could get places just fine. Gamzee was practically insulting him by asking if he needed help.
"I think I can, uh, manage just fine."
Gamzee picked up on the hint of discontent. He raised his hands in a placating gesture. "Hey, brother, not what I motherfucking meant. I know you can get all up to class fine by yourself. I was offering a little fucking speed is all." He smiled, brilliant white fangs shining in the artificial light.
"Well, I guess," Tavros said as he twiddled the strap of the bag in his lap. "I mean, uh, you kind of made me late, anyway, so sure." Gamzee grinned mischievously and slipped behind Tavros, grabbing tightly to the handles. Tavros gulped as Gamzee returned him to his previous direction and tossed his own bag on Tavros' lap. "But, uh, Gamzee, don't go too fa -"
His protest was cut off as Gamzee sped down the hall, smiling like a maniac and purposely making near-miss collisions with the people who had sneered at Tavros earlier. Gamzee took wide turns around corners and hardly slowed even when a teacher appeared in the hall; they were very lucky they didn't hit anyone and the teacher had been looking into his classroom.
Gamzee dug his heels into the tile as they approached their classroom. The wheelchair stopped right before the door. Gamzee grabbed his bag and opened the door so Tavros could go in first. Tavros shook his head to regain his bearings.
"Thanks, Gamzee," he mumbled, rolling into the room.
The desks were only half-filled, so Tavros figured he wasn't as late as he thought he'd be. Gamzee can run fast, he thought. He rolled over to the space where he usually sat, but his chair less desk wasn't there. Someone in the back of the room snickered. Tavros felt tears burn at the edges of his eyes. No! I won't cry again; it makes them pick on me more.
Tavros felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up with shining eyes. Gamzee had a blank look on his face, but his eyes were scanning the students already sitting and those coming in. The smaller troll glanced at the door and saw Terezi Pyrope stroll in, hitting people with her walking stick.
"Terezi," Gamzee said as he spotted her, "can you stay with Tavros? I'll be right back."
"Sure thing, Gamz." Her grin stretched from ear to ear. Gamzee jogged out the room, and Terezi walked up to Tavros. She prodded his leg gently then swung her stick nonchalantly to the side. He knew she was feeling for his desk; when it hit nothing, Terezi frowned and started swinging the stick back and forth as though she had meant to all along. "You okay, Tav?"
Tavros fidgeted with his wheels, rolling back and forth slightly. "Fine." He didn't trust his voice to not give something away, so he said no more.
More people filed into the classroom and took their seats. Most chuckled or smiled at Tavros; in return, they received a glare from Terezi's sightless eyes. Eventually, Karkat Vantas arrived. He took in Terezi trying to mentally melt the smiles off the students' faces, Tavros looking about ready to cry, and Gamzee's absence and slapped a hand to his face.
"Oh, Karkles, glad you could join us, hehe," Terezi said, poking him in the stomach when he walked over.
"Yeah, wonderful. Which dumbass pulled this shitty prank?"
Terezi shrugged. "I'm not sure yet, though I am quite positive Gamzee already knows."
"Guys, uh, you can sit down, if you want," Tavros said as the teacher walked in and began writing things on the board. He took his place where he would if his desk had been there. Karkat sat in Gamzee's desk, which was next to Tavros. Terezi took her spot behind the handicapped troll.
The tardy bell rang and their teacher finished writing. He turned around and started calling roll.
Halfway down the list: "Gamzee Makara."
Everyone looked to Karkat sitting in Gamzee's desk. The teacher looked up after not receiving an answer. "Mr. Vantas, what are you doing in Mr. Makara's desk?"
He jerked his head at Tavros. "Some idiot pulled a stupid prank."
"And that warrants you breaking my seating arrangement?"
"Yeah, fu- yeah. It does. Gamzee went to find Tavros' desk."
"I do not hear you explaining why you are sitting in the wrong desk," the teacher said irately.
"I'm not leaving Tavros-"
"Go to your correct seat, Mr. Vantas. I'm sure Mr. Nitram can look after himself; it is not like the absence of a desk will keep him from working or being safe."
A ripple of laughter passed over the students. Karkat opened his mouth to retort, but Gamzee opened the door, cutting him off (and likely saving him from a detention caused by foul language and disrespect of a teacher). Gamzee was pulling Tavros' desk and looked a little worse for wear, but he smiled at the little troll. He set the desk in its rightful place.
"There you go, Tav. Sorry for being all late," he said to the teacher. He went to sit in his desk, but Karkat was still there, glaring at the teacher. "Hey, I know we're all like best friends-"
"Mr. Vantas, please move out of Mr. Makara's seat."
Karkat stood abruptly and stomped off to his own desk across the room. Gamzee sat and extracted a notebook from his bag. The class settled as their teacher called the rest of the roll and started class.
Tavros blocked out the teacher's droning about some math term or other and stared down at his desk. It was his: it had all the little scratches and pictures he'd drawn on it, even the whiteout he'd used to cover up something he didn't want anyone to see, especially any of his friends. Tavros wondered how Gamzee had found it and why he had looked kind of beat up. He shrugged it off, resting his head in his hand. This wasn't the first time his desk had gone missing or other things had up and disappeared - or appeared suddenly in his path. Each time his things went missing, Gamzee or one of his other friends found them for him. Mostly it was Gamzee, though. He liked to think Gamzee was his best friend and thought the same of Tavros, but he knew that spot was filled by Karkat (not like Karkat cared much). Tavros zoned out even more, only faintly hearing Terezi tapping her cane against his desk, Gamzee taking notes, the teacher writing on the bored.
He thought about his unfortunate accident which wasn't much of an accident. It was more like one of his other 'friends', Vriska Serket, had pushed him off a cliff. She had found it hilarious at the time; actually, she still found it hilarious. Tavros didn't know why he continued to talk to her. She was horrible to him. His mind drifted back to thoughts of Gamzee; Tavros blushed.
He knew he had it bad. He was definitely flushed for the other troll, and he didn't know what to do about it. Tavros wished he had a moirail to talk to about these things.
The bell for next class brought Tavros back to the present. He realized he had done nothing all period, completely missing everything on whatever topic they were covering that day. He started to panic but was kept at bay by a sheet of paper dangling in front of his face.
"I took extra notes. I hope you can read them; blind doesn't work well with writing on lines."
Terezi dropped the paper onto Tavros' desk. He picked it up and read a bit of it. "Thanks, Terezi.
Surprisingly, you have pretty, uh, neat handwriting."
She flapped a hand. "No need. I could tell you were pretty distracted." She glanced discreetly at Gamzee, although she couldn't actually see him, so it was more a very slight turn of the head.
"W-what? No, I was thinking about, uh," he grasped at straws, "Vriska!" The last part was said louder than he intended and caught the attention of both Gamzee and Karkat, who were still in the classroom.
Terezi smirked. "Oh, really, Tav? Thinking about some sloppy make outs with your tormentor?"
Tavros blushed profusely. "I - no - I don't know." He gave up as Terezi's smirk widened into a crazy grin.
"Tav, you know you can't hide anything from my nose."
"Can we just, get to the next class?"
Tavros rolled past Terezi after stuffing the notes in his bag. He snuck a peek at Gamzee on his way out; he didn't look very happy which was really weird because Gamzee almost always had some kind of smile on his face. He didn't offer to push Tavros to his next class.
"Gamzee, are you all right?" he heard Karkat ask apprehensively, though still with a bit of attitude.
"Yeah, I'm motherfucking great."
He certainly didn't sound it.
/Schoolstuck/
Tavros was late to his next class but was grateful that his desk was still there. He had only one friend in this class: Aradia Megido. She was a gentle troll with a calming smile, and Tavros loved to talk to her; sadly, she already had a moirail.
"Hello, Tavros," she said quietly to him as he settled into a routine of taking notes and trying not to get caught up in memories and feelings.
"Hi, Aradia."
"I heard your first period desk was taken. Did you manage to retrieve it?"
"Gamzee got it for me."
Aradia smiled secretively.
"What?" Tavros said, confused.
"Nothing."
They went back to concentrating on the teacher when she started asking questions about history. Tavros hated history. It's not like he knew human history. He also did not know why they were all in a human school since they were trolls and certainly didn't need to learn all this human stuff.
He thought back to their game session. Instead of the scratch resetting the kids' game like it should have, it threw them and the trolls to Earth. It sent them back to the day the kids' session had started, John Egbert's birthday. They all landed in John's yard, the humans' guardians as well. At
first, they thought it was all a dream or they were dead, floating in those bubbles, but they slowly came to find out they were indeed alive - even those who had been dead.
The first thing they all did was celebrate. When the euphoria settled, they had to address the issue of what they were going to do, especially the trolls. How could they explain twelve aliens to the rest of the population? Luckily, it turned out only the kids and their guardians could see the trolls' true appearances. All other humans saw were some exotic human kids. None of them could reason why or how all this had come about, but they weren't complaining. Well, except for the fact that they now had to act like normal humans and go to school. That part really sucked.
The kids were happy to be back and even relished going to school for a while. Dave Strider, Jade Harley, and Rose Lalonde had convinced their guardians to move to John's city, seeing as all the trolls were there, and it would be easier for three kids to move than twelve trolls. The four kids had offered their homes to the trolls, too.
Tavros lived with Equius Zahhak and Eridan Ampora at John's; Gamzee, Karkat, and Sollux Captor lived at Dave's; Aradia, Kanaya Maryam, and Terezi lived with Rose; and Nepeta Leijon, Fereri Peixes, and Vriska lived with Jade. So far, the arrangement was working out fine, if straining on some of their patience.
Tavros scribbled more notes down, comprehending none of it. All the names, places, and dates mixed together and became a jumbled mess of "I-really-don't-care-about-this" in his head.
The period ended soon after. Tavros wished he could stand up and stretch, but that was a faraway dream. Aradia grasped the handles of his wheelchair and pushed him out the door. Tavros gladly let her.
"I noticed you were immersed in thought. Did you get all of the notes?"
"I think so. I wasn't, uh, that distracted."
"Okay. Here's your class. I'll see you at lunch, Tavros."
He waved goodbye.
"Tavros, nya~!" was his greeting from Nepeta. "Isn't today purrfect for learning? It's nice and sunny and beautiful, and I love art!"
Tavros suppressed a grin at Nepeta's enthusiasm. He, too, liked art. The humans in this class were nice to him, and he had no special desk he had to sit at.
"Nepeta, please stop your foolishness."
"Aw, but Equius, art is cattastic! I can make whatever I want, be as messy as I want, and no one cares.
I can even draw on the walls!" She motioned to the white walls the teacher had let her draw all over: it was her new shipping wall (or rather, walls, as she had made each side of the room specific to a certain quadrant). No one in the class knew the real nature of it because she had drawn the trolls in their troll forms. Hardly anyone could make out what it meant since Nepeta had used only the symbols for the quadrants. "Look, I added a new one."
She dragged Equius over to the wall for matesprits, pointing to a purple form. Tavros wheeled up next to them and gaped. This new pairing was of him and Gamzee.
"Nepeta, I, uh, think you should take that one down."
"I agree. This wall is absurd," Equius said and went to grab a towel from his backpack.
Nepeta pouted. "But you and Gamzee would make the purrfect couple! In human terms, you would be boyfriends! I learned that from Jade yesterday. Aren't human words weird?"
Tavros ducked his head, blushing worse than ever. Nepeta laughed and ran off to pounce on Equius, who was scrubbing at the kismesis wall futilely.
How does everyone know? Tavros thought sullenly. It's not like he made it totally obvious or something. Or maybe he did, and he just didn't realize it? Or maybe, it was just Nepeta being Nepeta.
Yeah, that was it. Definitely.
Tavros took his place at the table with Nepeta and Equius. The teacher came in as the bell rang, followed by John. The human boy still wore his god tier outfit a lot, like today. He sat at their table, too, and smiled widely.
"Hi, guys!"
"John!" Nepeta jumped up and slid across the table to hug him. "What are you doing in here?"
John laughed. "I got my schedule changed. Mechanics was boring, and Dave never wanted to help me."
"Was it not ironic enough, to help you?" Tavros said.
"Nah. He was too caught up in trying to make the teacher turn it into a sword-forging class so he could make a decent sword. After the ones he lost in the game, he doesn't have anything good anymore."
"Absurd. This school would never allow something as dangerous as swords to be made," Equius interjected.
John shrugged. "I'd be more worried about guns; they are a bigger threat. But anyway, what's with all the drawings on the walls?"
"It's my shipping wall! You guys are included, too, just not as much," Nepeta said, still sitting on the table in front of John.
"Mrs. Leijon, please get off the table," the teacher reprimanded.
Nepeta returned to her seat. "Sorry."
"Today, we will be working with only paint. You may choose any topic. Collect your supplies and start working."
The students moved quickly to get the best supplies, talking loudly and generally having fun. Nepeta stood up. "I'll get your stuff, Tav!" Equius went after her to make sure she didn't spill anything.
"Karkat told me your desk was stolen."
Tavros turned to John. "Yeah. It happens a lot. Gamzee, uh, got it back for me."
"That's good! I wonder why they took it, though. No one else uses that kind of desk..."
Tavros was sometimes still amazed by the naivety that remained in John. It was kind of refreshing but also annoying. It was good he didn't always act like that.
"I'm not sure. Maybe they, uh, made a mistake."
"Maybe," John said and grinned.
Nepeta came back with three sets of paint. She set one in front of each of them. Equius had his own set and a decently thick stack of paper. Nepeta needed a lot more than one sheet of paper when she started painting.
"I think I'll draw us," she chirped. She swiped five pieces of paper and spread them out; then, she dipped her fingers into the paint and commenced painting.
Equius started sweating. "Nepeta, you are supposed to use a paintbrush."
"Finger-painting is more fun!"
They argued back and forth while Nepeta splashed color all over the pages. John meticulously painted a chess grid on his paper; Tavros did not know what to draw. John glanced at his blank paper.
"Why don't you draw your planet?"
Tavros cocked his head, thinking over the idea. He nodded and set to work.
By the time they had to start picking up, Nepeta was covered in paint and smiling proudly at her work.
It was of her, Equius, John, and Tavros, though it was hard to tell what they were doing. The only reason Tavros could tell who was who was due to the fact Nepeta color-coded everyone/thing she drew.
"Isn't it beautiful?" Nepeta said, picking up the papers that were practically glued together by the drying paint.
"It's awesome," John agreed enthusiastically.
Equius nodded, wiping sweat from his forehead with the towel from earlier. He looked like he really wanted to disagree.
Tavros smiled. "It's, different, in a good way."
"Please leave your paintings on the desk. I will put them away when they are dry," the teacher announced over the sound of the lunch bell.
"Come on, guys, hurry up!" Nepeta hopped up and down as the other three packed up.
"What's the rush? No one ever sits at our table." John seemed to debate over whether he wanted to disregard the teacher and take his picture, but he left it sitting there as he swung his backpack onto his shoulder.
"I'm hungry, and they have chicken for lunch. If there's one thing you humans know, it's food," Nepeta said, pulling on Equius' arm. "Come oooon."
"I'm going to stay and, uh, finish this." Tavros pointed to his half-finished picture. "I'll be there in a bit."
"Okay!" Nepeta dragged Equius and John out of the room.
Tavros checked to see if the teacher had left before going over to the matesprit wall. He gazed longingly at the little figures of him and Gamzee, possibly holding hands (he couldn't really tell). He reached up toward it.
"Tavros?" someone hissed gleefully behind him. Tavros retracted his hand; he dreaded turning around, especially since he knew who it was. "Is that what I think it is? It is! Oh, this is too great!"
Vriska appeared next to him, grinning viciously at the wall.
"Vriska-"
"Is this the one you were looking at? This is hilarious. You're flushed for him, aren't you?"
Tavros stuttered out something unintelligible. Vriska leaned down, placing her hands on the armrests of his wheelchair and smirking.
"These humans might all have disgustingly low-class blood and therefore not go by our hemospectrum, but we still do. You have no chance, Tav."
Tavros tried not to cry, he did, but diluted dark orange tears slid down his cheeks. He swiped his jacket sleeve over his eyes. "I, didn't think I, uh, ever did."
"Oh, poor Tav. Hey, I might just keep this quiet," she said softly. Tavros stopped wiping his eyes to look at her face: she was still smirking. "For a price."
"What?"
"Go out with me."
"W-what?" he repeated incredulously. "I, uh - no."
Vriska frowned, leaning down even farther into his space. "Are you sure about that answer?"
Tavros avoided her eyes, glancing around until his gaze fell on the picture again. He slumped ever-so-slightly. "Okay."
Vriska smiled victoriously. "Then let's go to lunch, Tav!"
She pushed Tavros out the door and headed to the cafeteria.
/Schoolstuck/
Immediately after arriving on Earth and starting school, the twelve trolls and four kids had claimed the biggest table in the cafeteria. The fact that no one had taken it was attributed to the fact that, somehow, Eridan and Feferi had become the most popular "kids" in school. It was probably because Feferi was likable in general and a natural leader, and Eridan thought himself so above everyone, they accepted him being the best without a fuss. Either way, this kept their table unoccupied no matter what. Kids in human schools were vicious, though, and a lot of them questioned why Eridan and Feferi hung out with so many less popular kids. It was frowned upon but accepted, as the two would sit nowhere else.
Their table/group had also gained a name: Astrofreaks. This came about because the trolls still liked to wear their signs on their shirts. Apparently, in the human world, these signs represented people born at a certain time or something; none of the trolls really cared, so they didn't take offense to the name.
As Tavros was wheeled into the cafeteria by Vriska, their whole table stared. Everyone was there already. Tavros blushed in shame: he did not want them to see him with Vriska, even if they were "dating" now. That statement left a bitter taste in his mouth.
Vriska put him in his normal spot at the end of the table. She glared at Aradia who was sitting on the edge of the right bench.
"Move."
Aradia's eyes narrowed. "No. Go sit at the other end."
"I'd like to sit next to my boyfriend."
The table went pin-drop silent; a can crunched loudly. They all looked at Gamzee, but he was staring straight ahead, the offensive can clenched in his grasp. He got up abruptly, throwing the can on his tray and walking away to dump it in the garbage can. He left, and Karkat ran after him, followed by Sollux. This gave Aradia room to move easily.
"Will you move now?"
Aradia slid her tray down the table roughly, as far away as she could from Vriska. Vriska sat down, resting her chin in her hand and smiling at Tavros.
The volume climbed slowly after the disconcerting scene. Terezi, sitting across from Vriska, struck up a conversation with the two.
"You're dating? When did this happen?" She wasn't paying any attention to Vriska; instead, she had her face turned to Tavros.
"Yes, Terezi. It happened when I found Tavros in the art room. He couldn't resist me when I confessed.
I'm not surprised; it was obvious he liked me."
Tavros cringed. Terezi picked up on this, and she tapped Tavros' wheelchair under the table. "Really?
An interesting development. Is this true, Tav?"
Tavros opened his mouth, saw Vriska's glare, and changed his mind about what he was going to say.
"Yes."
Feferi leaned around Terezi, smiling. "Are you two matesprits?"
"I think we'll use the human words, boyfriend and girlfriend, until we're, uh, sure," Tavros said quickly, before Vriska could dig him into a deeper hole. Terezi tapped his wheelchair again.
Feferi nodded and went back to talking to Eridan; Vriska got up and said she was going to get her and Tavros lunch. Terezi watched her go with narrowed eyes (they weren't allowed to wear strange-colored or unnecessary glasses in school, except Dave; he managed to get around that rule).
"Tavros, what happened?" she whispered when Vriska was finally standing in line.
"She, uh, caught me staring at Nepeta's shipping wall. She promised she, wouldn't tell if I went out with her."
"Why didn't you let her 'spill the beans' so to speak? Did you not see Gamzee's reaction?"
Tavros knew what she was implying, but he wouldn't even think about it. "Maybe he likes Vriska; it can't be because he, uh, likes me. Even if he did, I'm so low on the hemo -"
"Tavros, we're on Earth now; we go by human standards. We're all poor, so we are all on the same rung.
Don't listen to that spider bitch!"
"But, we're still trolls. We can't just, forget about blood color."
"You'd let her ruin your chance at the emotion humans call 'love'?"
Tavros hid his face in his hands. "We don't feel anything but hate and pity," he said, voice muffled.
"Are you sure?"
"Sure about what?" Vriska slammed down two trays, cutting off their talk. The food bounced around, and the milk tipped over on both.
"Sure about spending his life with you," Terezi said scathingly. She stood, giving Tavros an apologetic glance, and left the cafeteria.
/Schoolstuck/
Gamzee trudged down the hall, looking for something - preferably someone - to beat up. His violent urges were still barely intact. He had heard of human drugs that would work like his sopor pies, but he refused to fall back into that almost catatonic state of never knowing what was really happening around himself. Fortunately, he quickly came to find out that simply blowing off some steam helped him control his insane personality.
The Capricorn kicked a nearby recycling bin and watched the papers and bottles scatter. Footsteps echoed behind him in the empty hall.
"Gamzee."
"Hey, motherfucking best friend."
"Look, I doubt they are actually going out; you know how Vriska is. She probably knows you like him and is being a huge bitch, or she could be blackmailing him with something."
"Why do you think I motherfucking care if they are fucking going out? Tav can all go and do whatever he wants. It's none of my motherfucking business."
A tick started on Karkat's forehead. He would have punched Gamzee if Sollux hadn't shown up and laid a hand on his shoulder, whispering a stern, "Kk."
"Gamzee, as your moirail, I think I know you better than anyone else at the moment. You like Tavros." Karkat cringed as he said moirail, finally admitting to himself what he knew all along: even if Gamzee annoyed the fuck out of him sometimes (most of the time), he was still important to Karkat. "Best friends" didn't cover the extent of their relationship.
Gamzee stared at him; then, as if in slow-motion, he turned and punched the wall.
"SHIT. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT FOR, FUCKASS?"
Karkat shook off Sollux's hand and went over to Gamzee. He took the Capricorn's hand in his, examining the broken and bleeding skin.
"Why are you such an idiot?" Karkat groaned.
Sollux also took a look at Gamzee's injury. "You thould get him to the nurthe, Kk."
"Yeah. Fuck." He grabbed him by his wrist and hauled him toward the nurse's office. "Fuck," he repeated. "You are so hard to deal with. Why do I fucking bother?"
The nurse wasn't in, so Karkat shoved Gamzee onto a bed and half-assed cleaning and bandaging his split skin.
"Why don't you suck it the fuck up and ask him out?" Karkat said in the middle of wrapping the other troll's knuckles. "I know for a fact he likes you. It's not like it's not completely obvious."
Gamzee's eyes were focused on the ceiling. "It's too late. I'd need a motherfucking miracle for Tav to say yes."
"Why can't we engineer a miracle?" Sollux said offhandedly.
Karkat tightened the cloth and cinched it so it would stay. He threw the materials back in the first aid box he'd found and set it on a counter. When he was done, he turned to Sollux.
"How could we possible make a miracle? Actually, fuck that; why would we need a miracle? We don't. Tavros likes Gamzee," he narrowed his eyes at the troll in question, "and Gamzee likes Tavros. All Gamzee needs to do is get Vriska out of the picture."
"That thouldn't be all that hard, Gz. I think Vrithka is uthing Tavroth, not really dating him. Otherwithe, Tavroth would have thaid no to her."
"Yeah, right, Sollux. Tavros is a pushover."
"Not helping, Kk."
Gamzee sighed. "Karkat, I know you are all trying to motherfucking help, but I'm not seeing any fucking point in trying."
Karkat grit his teeth. "Gamzee, I will fucking make you ask Tavros out."
"As soon as you take your own motherfucking advice and ask out-"
Karkat slapped a hand over Gamzee's mouth. "Shut. Up."
"Kk, you have a cruth?" Sollux said, chuckling. "Who ith it?"
Gamzee attempted to talk around Karkat's hand, but it did not work out well. He ended up licking the Cancer's palm. Karkat tore his hand away disgustedly, eyes burning with anger.
"If you say anything, I will personally fuck up any chance you have with Tavros."
"No need to get tethty, Kk," Sollux cajoled.
"Anyway, can we get back to the point? We are fucking setting you up with Tavros, Gamzee, whether you like it or not."
"Whatever."
"Are you kids in need of assistance?" a new voice said testily. The nurse had come back from her lunch and was standing, hand on hip, in the doorway. "If not, please leave."
The three trolls trooped out the door, the nurse watching them, hawk-like, until they had turned the corner heading back to the cafeteria.
/Schoolstuck/
Last class, finally, Tavros rejoiced as Vriska guided him to his science class. He had no other friends in this class, so he usually dreaded it, but with the lunch he had just had, Tavros was more than happy to be there. Terezi's departure had meant Vriska and he were alone. Vriska talked and talked about things Tavros either hated or didn't care about; she also made quips about how useless or weak he was every other sentence. The Taurus wasn't sure how anyone could get the impression they were dating. He smiled at the door to his class, pushing those thoughts to the back of his mind.
"Thanks, Vriska," Tavros said cheerfully. She let the handles go, but she did not leave. Tavros looked up as Vriska leaned down, lips pulled into a smirk. "Uh, what are you doing now?"
Vriska stopped. "I was about to kiss you. Couples do that, you know. And we are a couple, are we not?"
"Y-yeah."
"Then this is fine."
Tavros cringed as Vriska's lips touched his. He refused to reciprocate in any way. It was much like the last time they had kissed. Tavros was just as unresponsive, if not as surprised, and Vriska was just as offended when she pulled away.
"No one will believe we're dating if you kiss like shit."
"I don't see how they can, uh, think we're dating when you insult me, all the time."
Vriska stood up straight. "I guess we both have to work on things. Have fun in class, Tav."
Tavros wished she would stop calling him that.