My beautiful, wonderful muse is working his ass off to ensure that my return isn't temporary.
This song, "You Haven't Seen the Last of Me", is from the movie "Burlesque." Performed by Cher, it's a beautiful, powerful ballad, and I love it. And, because in "Just to Get High" I abused the Hell out of Cristina, I was possessed to write a… sequel of sorts.
As always, lyrics are in italics.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. At all. And even if you don't believe me, good luck trying to prove anything. :P
You Haven't Seen the Last of Me
Cristina sat up on her bed, knees to her chest, arms wrapped around her legs. She looked over Owen's sleeping form to the window. The sun was just beginning to rise, bringing a new day, another chance to revel in her life.
Feeling broken
Barely holding on
But there's just something so strong
Somewhere inside me
And I am down but I'll get up again
Don't count me out just yet
She didn't revel. Most days, she sat around trying to shut her brain off, or trying to block the impulse to return to the drugs… she had made it a month… better than days, better than weeks, better than minutes, better than seconds. Even though sometimes she had to take it seconds at a time. She ran her thumb over the track marks on her arm, staring at the puncture marks, at the reminder of what she'd been through. Of what she was overcoming. The reminder, however unorthodox, twisted, and dark, of the strength she had. The strength of her heart. The strength of her spirit.
I've been brought down to my knees
And I've been pushed way past the point of breaking
But I can take it
I'll be back
Back on my feet
This is far from over
You haven't seen the last of me
You haven't seen the last of me
She unfolded herself and dressed quietly, so as not to wake Owen. It was a testament to how far she'd come already. For awhile after she'd come home, he'd wake up and check on her every time she so much as rolled over in her sleep.
Cristina slipped out the front door and stopped in front of the apartment, inhaling the cool Spring air. It was crisp, clean, and invigorating… and it felt new. A smile curved her lips as she thought about what today signified. Even the Seattle air knew. She stepped off toward the hospital, determination in her stride.
They can say that
I won't stay around
But I'm gonna stand my ground
You're not gonna stop me
You don't know me
You don't know who I am
Don't count me out so fast
The whispers started almost immediately. She had known they would. The bets on her motives, on the real reason she'd come back. The wagers on how long she'd last before she freaked out and left the program for good. The sidelong glances and thinly-veiled hate they threw her way as she walked the halls, getting a feel for her beloved hospital. Like they blamed her for her breakdown. Like they wished she'd have stayed away. Like they'd stab her with their own scalpels if they were given half a chance.
She didn't care. They could make bets all day long. They could whisper and snicker and sneer all they wanted. They could judge until Judgment Day. She didn't give a damn what they thought. They didn't know her, they couldn't stop her. She wasn't going anywhere.
I've been brought down to my knees
And I've been pushed way past the point of breaking
But I can take it
I'll be back
Back on my feet
This is far from over
You haven't seen the last of me
She had operated on her best friend's husband with a gun to her head. She had become an alcoholic. She had become a drug addict. Even before, she had survived watching her father bleed out in front of her. She had lost a pregnancy. She had borne the brunt of Owen's PTSD before he had sought help. She had endured the Hellish fear of thinking she had lost or was going to lose Meredith more times than she cared to remember.
She had been forced to her knees, pushed to her breaking point and then beyond. She'd fallen, but she had gotten back up. Her inner fire had come roaring back; her spirit had proven unbreakable. She had survived. She was a survivor.
There will be no fade out
This is not the end
I'm down now
But I'll be standing tall again
Times are hard but
I was built tough
I'm gonna show you all what I'm made of
Cristina smiled as she looked around the empty OR. It was finally her quiet place again. She ran her hand over the machines, monitors, and the trays. She smoothed the operating table needlessly. She lovingly touched every instrument, picking up the scalpels and clamps and gauze and retractors. On an impulse, she turned on a ventilator, listening to it whirr and sigh. Her smile turned into a grin. She was back where she belonged.
She knew she had been an idiot to leave the program, but at the same time, she knew that the time away had been exactly what she needed to realize what she had. She didn't care about the whispers and backstabbers, because she had what mattered. She had passion for what she did, and she had the resiliency to survive anything that it brought her. She had amazing, wonderful, loving people to fall back on. She had Meredith, Owen, and Derek. She had Teddy. She had Bailey. She even had Alex. She had the support network she needed, and she'd never take them for granted.
I've been brought down to my knees
And I've been pushed way past the point of breaking
But I can take it
I'll be back
Back on my feet
This is far from over
I am far from over
You haven't seen the last of me
She turned when the door opened and Meredith walked in. Cristina's person didn't say anything, just leaned against the wall and smiled, happy to see Cristina back where they both knew she belonged. It had been a struggle, but even when Cristina had given up on herself, Meredith hadn't. She'd believed in Cristina enough for the both of them, until Cristina could believe in herself again. For that, Cristina owed her everything. On an instinctual level, she knew that she'd never find another friend like Meredith as long as she lived; knew that she was lucky to have Meredith by her side in the first place.
No no
I'm not going nowhere
I'm staying right here
Oh no
You won't see me begging
I'm not taking my bow
Can't stop me
It's not the end
You haven't seen the last of me
Oh no
You haven't seen the last of me
Cristina wasn't leaving the program again. She wasn't going to quit. She wasn't going to give them the satisfaction of letting their whispers get to her. She wasn't going to prove any of them right. She wasn't going to beg for mercy or acceptance, and she wasn't going to let them drive her away. They couldn't stand in her way.
She smiled again as she left the OR, her best friend at her side and her career in front of her.
She was back. It felt damn good.
She was Dr. Cristina Yang, surgical resident and Cardiothoracic prodigy.
And just like Meredith and Derek had known all along, they hadn't seen the last of her.
You haven't seen the last of me
R&R please? :D