DISCLAIMER: I do not own Kishimoto's Naruto characters nor do I make any profit from this work of fiction. Nor do I own MTV's show "Catfish", I simply play off the idea.

WARNINGS: M/M sexual situations, F/M sexual situations, language, OOC

RATED M

CATFISH

Damp blond hair, sweat dripping in rivulets down a tan face, sharp blue eyes darting back and forth, leg muscles contracting with each step… "I could lick every inch of him."

Neji snorted in laughter at Sasuke's sudden declaration. "The things you say sometimes."

Sasuke glanced at him sideways. "Come on, you can't tell me you wouldn't."

"I'm happily wifed up thank you very much."

The sullen redhead sitting next to Neji reached over and squeezed the boy's hand. "Call me your wife again," he threatened. Neji winced and Sasuke chuckled.

"Won't happen again, Gaara," Neji said quickly. He pulled his hand from the redheads vice-like grip and slung his arm across the thin boy's shoulders. "He doesn't know you exist, though, Sasuke."

Night-black eyes narrowed. "No shit, Neji. There are thousands of other students here." He looked back toward the blond soccer player and sighed. "He's probably not even bi with my luck."

"At least you're realistic," Gaara said.

"What's that mean?"

"You didn't even bother thinking he could possibly be gay."

"I think you could be optimistic and think he could be bi," Neji inputted.

Both Sasuke and Gaara gave him quizzical looks.

"I firmly believe all athletes have a little bi-curiosity in them. I mean, they spend the majority of their time with their teammates. Of course, being the 'men' they are they are often a little harder to convince of this little fact."

"And how would you know that?" Gaara asked sweetly.

Neji instantly grabbed his bag. "Oh fuck, look at the time. Class!" he called over his shoulder as he rushed away from the looming fury of his boyfriend.

Gaara rose slowly and regarded Sasuke with a cool look. "He forgets who I am sometimes. Have fun with your eye candy."

Poor bastard, Sasuke thought as he watched Gaara amble away. Neji didn't stand a chance. He turned his eyes back to the blond athlete down on the field below. Naruto Uzumaki was his name. They were both second semester freshmen at the University of Konoha. Naruto had entered the school on a soccer scholarship hailing from a prestigious school across the country. Sasuke had first noticed the ray of sunlight at an orientation activity and had been (obsessed) interested since. He'd never been one for blonds but he was somehow irrevocably smitten by this blond.

Sasuke had known for a long time that he preferred men over women. It was no big deal to him. He was very comfortable with himself and had received little to no grief from his family. He knew that his situation was rare and greatly appreciated his family for it. It was one of the reasons had chosen U of K; it was far enough for him to have his own life, but close enough that he could easily go visit home.

Back to my blondie. Sasuke's eyes raked over the field in search of Naruto. "Well ain't that a sight," he muttered distastefully. The blond had since approached a dark-haired girl and was currently laughing and teasing her by trying to give her a sweaty hug. Sasuke felt his heart drop as the girl placed her outstretched arms on Naruto's chest to keep him away but allowed him to lean forward and give her a kiss on the mouth. Please tell me that's not his girlfriend. Sasuke watched a little longer as Naruto went to meet up with his teammates. From the round of back smacks and hair ruffles and the blonds embarrassed glance over his shoulder Sasuke guessed that he and girl weren't officially a couple. It was a relief, but just barely. They could very easily become a couple the next day.

Sighing again, Sasuke leaned back on the bleacher behind him and tilted his face up toward the ceiling of the gym. The sounds of the next intramural sport filled the gym and Sasuke took that as his cue to leave. He gathered his belongings and started the trek across campus to his dorm. Vaguely he wondered if his roommate would be in. Didn't really matter either way he conceded.

The walk to his dorm was too long and too cold. By the time he reached his room he was shivering despite his attempts not to.

"Cold out there, huh."

He nodded at his friend, Shikamaru. "I swear my dick's probably about a fucking centimeter long by now."

"Where do you come up with this shit?" Shika asked giving him an incredulous look.

"Wanna see?" Sasuke asked, beginning to unzip his jeans.

Shikamaru waved him off, used to his roommate and friend's antics. "I don't wanna see your little shrunk dick, Sasuke."

"How about when it's long and hard?" He asked seriously, tossing his jacket on his bed.

Snorting, Shikamaru shook his head.

"Oh… I get it. You're more of a medium and soft guy. You and your weird kinks." He shook his head in disgrace and moved to turn on his laptop. "You'll never get anywhere that way."

"One day I'm going to record one of our conversations and play it for the world to hear, Uchiha. You're a fucking moron and no one knows it."

Sasuke typed in his password and spared Shikamaru a glance. "I will kill you." He tapped away at his keyboard for a few moments then leaned back with his hand thrown over his eyes. "Praise all things high and mighty for the Intramurals page on Facebook! And whoever this blessed photographer is."

"Let me guess, soccer intramural pictures are up?"

"Complete with plenty of shirtless athletes especially a particular blond one. I'm just warning you now, Shika, I may or may not need to take care of business."

"Who the hell wants to know that?!"

"Well, you know, just in case I can't resist the urge to take it out and—"

"Sasuke, under no circumstances are you to ever whip it out while I am in the room."

"How about if you're asleep?"

Shikamaru finally broke and laughed. "I hate you so much sometimes."

Grinning, Sasuke turned back to his laptop and began looking through the pictures. "I'm just messin' with your head. Can't promise I won't pop a boner though."

"Long as I don't gotta see it," Shikamaru muttered.

The two college students fell into comfortable silence as Shikamaru returned to his homework and Sasuke his Facebook stalking.

And speaking of Facebook stalking… Sasuke's heart jumped with glee as he noticed Naruto tagged in one of the pictured. No wonder I couldn't find him, he goes by another name on here… Sasuke thought as he clicked on Naru Namikaze. He was rewarded with a plethora of personal pictures. It was too good, the guy didn't even have his privacy set that high. A glance at their mutual friends showed a few people Sasuke didn't even think would know the blond such as—he glared in his roommates direction—Shikamaru and a couple of people he knew through his older brother.

Leaving the tab open but minimizing the window and hibernating the laptop, Sasuke rose and walked casually over to Shikamaru's bed. "Hey Shika."

Shikamaru looked up. "Hello."

"Can we have a chat?"

"Sure?"

"Why didn't you tell me you know one Naruto Uzumaki? Or rather, Naru Namikaze."

"Oh."

"Oh."

Shikamaru shrugged. "I may or may not have dated his psycho-bitch cousin, Karin, in high school."

"You could have been my direct tie to the blond man of my dreams and you haven't even thought to mention it?"

"You're being dramatic, and besides I'm pretty sure you're not Naruto's type." Shikamaru studied him for a moment. "Actually, you're exactly his type. Wrong gender."

Sasuke paused before replying. "So you mean… if I were a pale, dark-eyed, dark-haired female Naruto would go for me?" That would explain the dark-haired girl earlier.

"He wouldn't be able to not go for you."

Sasuke turned abruptly, walked over to his bed, and dropped onto it face-first. Dad, I curse your sperm for all eternity. Why couldn't you have created a girl instead of a boy? I take that back… I would hate to be female. Sorry father-sperm. Still, even just for a moment in time, couldn't I know what it would be like to have him want me the way I want him?

"Sasuke?"

"What?"

"That new show on MTV is on, Catfish."

"What's that about again?"

"People who wanna know if the person they've fallen for online are really who they say they are."

Sasuke sat up so fast he got a head rush. "Ow," he moaned, clutching his pounding head. "what now? People fall for other people online that they've never met?"

"It's not all that uncommon. It's just never been this public. I got dumped by Karin for some guy she met online. Not that that was a totally bad thing. If he can handle her…"

Sasuke didn't hear another word.

It's a bad idea. It's a terrible idea. It's a horrific idea. Oh god, I have to do it. I think I have some pictures of my cousin she'll never know I used if I use them. No, no, no. It's so wrong. Sasuke flopped back down on his bed and stared at the ceiling. How badly did he want to talk to Naruto? Enough to use pictures of a cousin he knew didn't have a Facebook to create a fake profile and begin talking to a guy he liked? After much (about 10 seconds) consideration, Sasuke had reached his answer.

Yup.

If you didn't know, Intramurals are sports played within the college, usually on the off season just for fun.

Anyway! Welcome to my new story CATFISH. I thought this would be a fun thing to write since I have a little experience with it myself. Let me know what you think!

Thank for reading :)