Woe… I'm Life's Whore
Woe… I'm Life's Whore
Naruto discovers some funky feelings. A LOT of drama ensues. AU SasuNaru, plus other pairings (surprise ). Some possible OOCness.. plot-line a little more serious than the title.
R&R
Prologue:
UchihaAvenger: What? Do you have some sort of brain deficiency?
InstantRamen: AHH! Shut UP!
UchihaAvenger: Your comebacks are just as amazing as you are.
InstantRamen: Save it, jerk, just tell me what it means.
UchihaAvenger: It means what it means, I don't have to explain to the likes of you.
InstantRamen: You suck, Sasuke. Tell me!!
UchihaAvenger: I'll only say it once more.
UchihaAvenger: Tomorrow is the day.
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Woe… I'm Life's Whore by beanielova
Chapter One: Toast
The sun was shining painfully through slanted, half-drawn blinds. He blinked lazily, brushing sleep from his eyes and trying to remember what today was. Naruto tried to recall yesterday's events to jog his memory, but like most mornings, his brain was taking a while to kick in. He pulled back the sheets, hungry for… well, anything really. After sleeping away precious hours that could have been spent eating ramen (and he often dreamt about it at night) he was famished come seven.
Seven... seven… why did that ring a bell? 'Great', he thought to himself. 'Something else I've forgotten,' immediately brushing it off with a typical 'whatever' Naruto-attitude.
Naruto ransacked the cupboards, his growling stomach only encouraging the messy search he knew he'd have to clean up later. He finally brought together a heaping pile of toast, covered in assortments of whatever he could find. He sat down and reached for a piece topped high with slices of banana and mint-choc sauce.
"Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing."
"Fudge," Naruto exclaimed, pulling out of his cursing at the last minute. He wiped up a lose glob of topping with his finger and stuck it in his mouth. "Hello??"
"Heeeey, Naruto!"
"Hey Kiba, sup?"
"Uh, dude. As if!!"
Naruto squinted. He had a feeling this was going to have something to do with what he couldn't remember before, and made his head spin a bit. Or maybe that was the shock from the phone ringing and standing up too quickly.
"No... really, sup?" Naruto tried again, hopefully.
"Where are you? Oh my GOD," Kiba was starting to laugh, "I bet you're eating breakfast in your pyjamas! That'd be about right!!" Kiba was laughing so hard he couldn't finish another word. He heard harsh voices in the background and the static of a phone being passed around, as Kiba's laugh got further away.
"NARUTO!" came a stern voice which Naruto couldn't mistake for anyone but Ino's. "Where the HELL are you?!"
"I'm… eating banana and choc-mint flavoured toast?" Naruto said, somewhat lost, but mostly evading the question.
"GrrruuuhhhhhHH!" Naruto heard the phone being dragged off Ino as she burst into a rage which Naruto was glad he wasn't at the receiving end of, for now.
A new voice came on the phone. It wasn't as angry, but it was worse.
"I told you you'd forget, dobe."
Naruto's memory decided that at that moment, everything was going to come back at him. Last night's over-the-internet, pass-it-on-chain party. Naruto was the last to get invited, as he didn't care much for the email and instant messenger Shino had set up for him, but he was determined when he typed the conversation with Sasuke last night.
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UchihaAvenger: Yeah, tomorrow? What, you haven't got it?
InstantRamen: Got what? Damn, Sasuke, just tell me!!
UchihaAvenger: I'm only going to tell you because you'll forget anyway.
InstantRamen: Just spit it UchihaLOSER
UchihaAvenger: Charming
InstantRamen: Sasuke!!
UchihaAvenger: Tomorrow, seven AM. Kiba's. Be there or you'll miss out.
InstantRamen: Miss out on what??
UchihaAvenger appears to be offline
InstantRamen: Damnit Sasuke!!
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Everyone was there except for him. He had forgotten. Kiba's was, luckily enough, only a few minutes away on the bus. He shot a look at the clock. A bus was due any minute.
"You have ten minutes… then we're leaving without you."
For a second he thought he heard Ino start up with something like, "we can NOT wait for ten minutes!!" … but the line fell dead shortly after she piped up.
Naruto grabbed a piece of peanut-butter and icing sugar toast and grabbed a pair of pants. He manoeuvred through the trash of his apartment, picking up clothes that didn't smell or look too dirty and exchanging them for his pyjamas. He snatched up his wallet, phone and keys and flew out the door, managing to grab one last piece of marshmallow and cold spaghetti bolognaise toast.
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Naruto had just barely missed the bus, and ran down the street with his scruffed blonde hair frizzing through the wind. He had managed to overtake the bus thanks to several red lights, and arrived at Kiba's exactly ten minutes later.
He ran, panting up to the door and doubled over to catch his breath, reaching for the old brass knocker shaped like a wild dog.
The door flew open as he tried to grasp it, and Naruto, who had been intending to put some of his tired weight onto the door knocker, tumbled into whoever had misplaced it.
'Please don't be Sasuke… please don't be Sasuke…' He closed his eyes and looked up.
Kiba burst into another round of howling laughter. Relieved, Naruto punched Kiba on the arm like any friend would.
"Oi, shut up Kiba! At least I made it right?!" Naruto said pulling a stupid Naruto-grin.
He glanced behind Kiba's shoulder. Everyone looked like they were ready to get out the door. He saw Shino standing somewhat dutifully at the back, Ino being held off by TenTen and to a lesser part, Hinata, and Shikamaru telling Chouji that if he ate too fast he'd get indigestion. Kiba was at the very front, and right behind him, arms crossed and leaning against a wall in true-blue Sasuke-style was the Uchiha teen himself.
"Almost, Naruto."
Naruto summoned all the willpower he had and ignored the comment. "Where's everyone else? And will somebody please tell me where, exactly, we're going?"
Kiba grinned. "Lee, Neji and Sakura are meeting us there, and the sibs are next door, remember?"
Naruto grinned cheekily back, Kiba cursed the day they moved in next door. It wasn't that Temari wasn't a great sisterly figure or that Kankuro wasn't an awesome friend with weird-ass hobbies, it was just the little red-haired psychopath that Kiba couldn't stand.
"Don't smile like that! I swear, I gotta keep Akamaru with me all the time in case that little brat comes over and sets fire to his dog bowl!! It ain't safe living in the same neighbourhood as that guy!" he growled.
Naruto just fell on the floor laughing. Akamaru came up and began licking his face, which got Kiba laughing as well. 'No Uchiha-bastard's gonna keep today from being fun,' he thought to himself.
They all filed out, and after Kiba said a somewhat lengthy goodbye to Akamaru, they reassembled on the footpath, with Kiba and Naruto walking up the footsteps to the "sibs'" house and knocking on the door.
"So," Naruto said, again grinning a stupid Naruto-grin, "you never did tell me where we're going."