I was once told that, people fall out of love for the same reason they fell in love. He was a bitter man, who I assumed new first hand what that saying meant. He would recite it like a threat, telling me to not fall in love, or I risk the same fate as his, a cold loner with no one but a son to love.
I didn't believe him though. I didn't want to believe him. How could one find fault in the things you fell for? How could a human look into chocolate eyes that swirled into mocha, and remember every detail of something as simple as that, only to wake up one morning and say they no longer shined, and the only word he could describe them as was mud? That didn't make sense to my romantic mind, and I denied what he'd said, claiming it to 've the ramblings of a broken hearted fool.
But then I fell in love. Lukas, with his ocean eyes that held the depth of their color claim. His smile was rare and beautiful, like a bird in one's hand. It couldn't be compared to diamonds, because those seem so common anymore. I fell in love with this man, and I watched as his walls fell like a drawbridge, welcoming me in. And I knew he was in love with me too.
But suddenly my father's words returned to my mind, one evening as I was admiring Lukas as he read from a book. 'You'll fall out of love for the same reason you fell in love.' I still didn't believe that could happen. Watching Lukas as he turned his page, noting how he licked his fingers before doing so, watching as his eyes scanned the page, then rescanned it as if he had to enjoy the adventure once more, I knew I would met grow tired of him. If that book took an eternity to read, I'd happily watch Lukas do so. Because I loved that he was content.
But with the thought in mind, my leg began to shake. Because even if I thought I'd love Lukas for everything he was forever, there was always the possibility that Lukas could fall out of love with me.
I began to panic slightly. What if my quirks were off putting? What if my laugh was condescending? What if everything I was, was suddenly revolting to Lukas? Red eyes looked towards Lukas for any indications that he was falling out of love, but how could one look like that lost within a story?
"Lukas?" I asked in a slightly timid voice, maybe something else the Man would learn to despise?
"Yes, Vlad?" He asked, not even looking up from his book, despite my worried tone. But I could tell Lukas was listening intently, because he was no longer involved in his book.
"Why...Why do you love me?" I asoed, probably sounding like a paranoid, New boyfriend, rather than one of a few months.
Lukas looked up at me, probably unsure if I was being serious. But my unnatural frown was a cry that I was.
"Why do I love you..." He pondered, closing his book as he thought. "Just one reason?"
"Is there only one?" I asked, probably sounding even more worried than before. What if there was only one thing he saw in me? How easy was it to learn to hate something you once cherished?
He shook his head, and thought some more. "You have an endless imagination. Even when I've stopped listening, you could go on and on about your passions and ideas. Hearing the excitement in your voice. I love you for that."
I was a bit shocked. Lukas never spoke sentimental. I hadn't even thought he'd think of such a thing. But I had to remain on task.
"What if I rambled endlessly? Wouldn't you grow annoyed? Or think me foolish?" I asked. Lukas shrugged.
"Perhaps." He said.
"And wouldn't that make you hate me?" I pressed.
"Hate you?" He said, his turn to look shocked. His eyebrow was raised, and he looked me over. "I might find you foolish, but it wouldn't make me hate you."
I couldn't believe him. He seemed so unsure. "Whats another reason you love me?" I asked.
Lukas had to sense something was up, but he went on. "I love you for your ambitious nature. Seeking put thrills I'd never have the ability to do. I'd admire that, and I love it.
"And what if I grew risky? What if you were in constant worry because of my ambitions? Wouldn't you then want to stop caring?"
"If you became risky, I'd only care for you more. Because you'd be on the edge, and I'd never know my last moment with you."
"And what of my eyes? Have peircing sunset orbs turned into signs warning?"
"The only things your eyes have changed into are ones of fear. What's wrong with you Vladimir?" He asked, and I knew I had to answer him.
I shrunk. Well I felt like I shrunk. "I'm...Lukas...You love these things about me, but what if one day, you learn to dislike them? What if you fall out of love with me?" I asked him. He seemed confused. Why would I question these things? Lukas had done nothing to make me think them, but perhaps he was racking his ins to try and find what part of me he'd stopped loving.
Finally, he spoke up, seeming unsure of his words.
"Vladimir...You're not made up of simple qualities. I love you for more than one part of you. I can't fathom ever falling out
of love with every inch of you. Because you aren't made of simple pieces. We are all complex puzzles. And there are parts of you I'll never understand, like this silly fear of yours. I didn't fall in love with one piece of the puzzle, and I won't leave you if I ever fell out of love with said piece. Because there are complex sides to you that I'll always love."
I could feel myself shaking with relief as Lukas walked over and kissed my cheek lightly. But I hugged him tightly before he could leave.
"I love you Lukas." I said, almost in tears. Lukas was stiff, But smiled slightly.
"And hopefully, you'll learn to love me more." He said. And suddenly, I found another reason I loved Lukas.
Because he loved every piece of me.