Warnings: There will be violence consisting of; mental & psychical over all abuse and possibly sexual, blood & gore, cussing, and of course sexual content in general in MUCH later chapters. So this is rated MATURE for a reason. If any of the above makes you uneasy please politely leave for I don't recommend this story other wise. I will try to set up a warning if I think a certain chapter might be a touchy chapter.

Disclaimers: Profit is not being made off this fanfictional story. Yu Yu Hakusho manga and anime series is by Yoshihiro Togashi. Any character outside that universe will be/is created by me.

Notes: I'm still a beginner to writing so please be easy on me, and this my first attempt to 1st POV - I normally write in 3rd person. The OC is inspired by many things, some even personal - some off of anime/manga's so I apologize in advance. I'll do my best to not 'Marysue' the crap out of this.. but guidance is always welcomed if any of you guys feel its leading to that! I will also try to make this interactive as/if possible through out updates so reviews would be helpful on chapters and may very well guide this story along the way~

Lastly: I am writing this because its something I've been looking for in this fandom and have not found yet (entirely). There have been some really close calls - but just out of reach to really capture what I've been itching to read personally. With that said I hope some will enjoy this but I am aware some wont- way of life.
A shout out to the stories that almost hit the nail on the head for me: "Ticking Timebomb", "Future Talk", and "Waking Dreams". Haven't read these? Should total check them out at least!

1,000 Days
Chapter 1: Restart

Have you ever found yourself sitting around thinking about how things could of or would of been. For example; what if the world was like this instead, what if I made a right instead of a left, and what if I never met this one person who helped shaped me into the one I am today? What type of person would I be, what would I be doing, would I even still like the same things, and would I still look like me in the end? It is these type of rhetorical ideas that go through peoples head at one point or another through out their life. Either brought on by simply brain storming or maybe by a event in your life that is making you wish for a different option - a "what if" instead where you are now.

I'd like to admit up front that I have always been this kind of person. Thinking about what could of been instead what it is now..

Even now as I lay flat on the cold hard floor with blood pooling out around me, soaking into the fabric of my clothing, and slowly staining my skin a sickly color. I am thinking about the what ifs. For there were so many choices through out our lives and just one small decision can alter a lot. I just wish I knew what could of altered the here and now. What could of, would of, changed the outcome of my death. Could I even have prevented this or was it inevitable.. just me trying to ward off fate.

So as I lay here on my stomach, head straining to watch the on-going struggle of two blurry object colliding- repelling off one another- to collide again, the darkness wraps its cold arms around me and I strain to think. Think of his face, of his eyes, of his voice. I strain to remember who he is and what he is to me as my vision begins to ink out until the point I can't see anything anymore. I know my eyelids are not closed and I know this must be the end.. but for once I am not thinking about the what ifs..

Instead I am thinking only of him.

"I'm growing so distant
Nothing makes sense to me anymore
I'm learning to resist
Becoming more than you ever were"

A loud and obnoxious sound seeps through my dark void of a dream and while groaning I roll over and pick up my android and push the snooze button. Temporary silencing the voice of Ivan L. Moody, the lead singer of Five Finger Death Punch. The song "Hard to See" being my current choice of a alarm clock. In about five minutes the reminder will begin to go off and I took those five minutes to lay on my back and stare at the ceiling to slowly wake up. The light casting over the ceiling was of early morning, my alarm set to 6'oclock am to get me ready for the day.

Just as that odd sensation you seem to get when you just know it has been a so amount of time, I lift my phone to my face and click the dismiss button just as the noise was about to start and sit up. The action causing my dark brown hair that was currently in a loose ponytail to fall over my shoulder. My hair was not terribly long, just long enough to lay over my shoulder and end at my breast while in the ponytail which was my go to hair-style most of the time. When not 'styled' it reach just barely to my mid back.

I grab my simple black rectangle shaped glasses and slip them on before officially rolling out of bed, bare feet touching carpet to step toward my bathroom door. I went through my morning routine; shower, brush teeth, dress in casual clothing, and let my hair air-dry as I sit at my computer desk. Every morning I check my emails and social sites, responding to what messages I have before I start the rest of the day. After sending the last reply I lean back and check my phone and noted that I had about ten minutes left before I had to head out to school. Grabbing my basic black messenger bag from beside my desk, I stood while sweeping the single strap over my head to the opposite shoulder. I knew my hair was not dry enough but before I allowed the outside atmosphere to wreck it more then what it already was, I pulled it into a average ponytail. My front bangs too short to interfere with my eyes too terribly while my side bangs sat against my cheek, just enough to past my chin. I left my room for the kitchen to grab a apple before walking out entirely to begin the walk to collage campus. Locking the door to my duplex-townhouse-apartment-thing before wondering down the steps to the outside world. This duplex was a terraced of sorts where it was basically a house stacked on a house with mine being the top one. I didn't mine it for I kept to myself as well as kept quiet. My bottom neighbors were louder then I ever was but I didn't complain.

Living about 15mins away from collage is not too terrible. Living on campus would be nice but I was never one to really like rooming up with others. It wasn't that I was not a people person for I can handle myself in crowds I just simple preferred personal space and my own room rather over sharing. I like being alone specially with my thoughts.

The walk was peaceful since the streets were not too crowded due to the morning hours. The air not too chilly for a autumn season during the late month of October. What little foliage in the city that existed showed signs of winter inching closer, biting at leafs and plants, but still holding on tinge of green. Some buildings and houses were decorated for the monthly holiday of Halloween. Other then some badly done spider web designs, few pumpkins, and a skeleton or two - the properties were basically the same. I listen to my headphones as I walked and what few people passed by kept to themselves, hurrying to their own destination. I did very little to show them attention as my eyes stared ahead, my lips moving to the lyrics silently. My own thoughts occupied by the music as my legs moved taking the steps that they have taken many times. What was in front of me was not really being focused on but just before the intersection a glimpse of red caught my eye and I felt my vision focus.

Why that color appeared I did not know, maybe it was the light of the intersection or a flashing red hand, maybe it was a red car driving by, but whatever it was just saved my life. When I saw the shimmer of red my feet stopped of their own accord and I just watched as a travel bus full of people flew by. Close enough to ruffle my clothing, close enough that two more steps would of been the end of me. As I stood there, my heart and mind catching up, I stared across searching for something. That something I did not know for nothing was there..

The day went on as if the intersection incident never happened. Classes ticked by, people roamed around, professors did their lectures, and I just sat in my annual spot in every class. The rest of the walk to campus eased my racing heart but the odd feeling of almost dying never stopped nipping at my inner thoughts. Neither did that color. I racked it up to being a instinctual action to the near death experience so I pushed it to the back of my mind and left it there.

I was caught up in the book I was reading during my lunch break that I never heard the soft taps of feet reaching me. Which was odd for me, I seemed to always be aware of being approached but It took the person calling my name to draw me out of my head.

"Ash?" it was Annabel who not necessarily was a friend since I wasn't one to really have friends but I couldn't tell her that. For all she knew she was no matter how many times my attitude or body language said other wise ever since high school.

"Mm?" Came my reply as I lifted my brown eyes from the pages of "Pendragon: Black Water" book five of the series. She took my acknowledgement as permission and sat down next to me, her bag plopping beside her chair. After digging through it for a moment she pulled out one of our shared classes text book and gave me a smile.

"Will you help me on this assignment? It's due the end of this week and you know me, grammar is not my best skill." The smile shifted to doe-eyes and I placed my book down completely which she took that as a 'yes' and moved closer so we could both lean over the book. Annabel or Anna- she preferred Anna- was super interested in cultures since I've known her which I guess also made it easier to wiggle closer into my personal bubble. We both shared a passion for different languages and different religions. Though Anna was the perfection of a Christian girl down to the appearance, she made it apparent since day one that it was only for her families sake. Parents this- brother that - church here- etc but she was no saint outside that circle. If I had to guess I'd say I was her escape goat, someone she felt natural around.

I on the other hand was never one way or the other and I think it confused people. Some people called me a goth due to the fact I always had black on in some fashion. Some called me a emo cause it appeared I was sulking all the time when I just preferred to be alone. I was even called a punk cause I stood up for myself when confronted instead of cowering. I've even broken a kids arm before though it was entirely by accident. In the end I was a outcast so I kept to myself and it felt right. I read books a lot and I scribbled on notebooks that probably should be full of notes instead. Despite all this I still passed high school and now in college majoring in being a linguist - despite my introverted nature I still managed to be confronted by this girl next to me who called herself my friend.

Her well manicured hand scanned the worksheet page in the book which was more of a "write the sentence correctly" assignment. She was behind me by skill level since our test at the beginning ranked me higher then a N1 -beginner. I currently sat at N3- leaning to N4, at intermediate level basically. I wasn't a super intelligent person, just things came to me naturally, and it didn't help either that I've been interested in Japanese years before meeting her. As my eyes scanned with her finger I noticed some mistakes on the parts she had already attempted to do but didn't say anything out loud.

"This one is tricky.. and I know you are some sort of brainiac, so.." she trailed off as her finger tapped at the one bothering her. I knew what she wanted, she wanted me to give her the answer. I gave her the 'ya know I wont just give it to you' look and she responded with a groan. "Fine, at least give me a hint o'wise one." then she crossed her arms and leaned back. I could easily tell she wasn't upset, it was more of a show since we did this all the time.

I placed my finger on the jumbled sentence above the line before speaking. Honestly these were very simple but I was just happy she could now read and write in the language though her speaking still needed a lot of work. "For this sentence; I'll give you a hint. koko meaning here, soko there, and asoko over there when referring to places. So this sentence has two of them and would only make since one way so.." and then I backed off so she could finish my words. By now her blue eyes were scanning the sentence as she nibbled her pencil thinking. That was a nasty habit of hers and one I found sort of gross.. pencils are unsanitary.

"Oh! I get it. " Anna's Japanese was still strained but she spoke it to me openly before writing it down to make sure she was right,"Ano, Koko wa doko desuka?" she turned to me for reassurance,"Right?"

"Right." I said smiling lightly and we continued this for the rest of our lunch break.

While walking home I kept my eyes on alert. I didn't look around like a paranoid person but I couldn't help but be aware of everything around me. Getting almost run over by a bus would do that to anyone I'd think.. I safely returned to my home and walked up the steps, unlocking the door, and stepping in quietly. I could hear what sounded like a party going on beneath me but still kept quiet regardless. I placed my jacket on a hook next to the door then plopped my bag next to my desk before sitting down. I started on the homework I accumulated and which it only took a couple of scans through the text books for certain assignments. So within a reasonable time frame I finished the work and headed to the kitchen.

I undid a package of Ramen and dropped it into a bowl of warm water before shoving it into the microwave. Set the timer to two minutes and walked off to the refrigerator to grab a bottle of sprite. Microwave went off, I gave a stir to the noodles, and let it continue for another minute before retrieving it entirely. After seasoning it I pulled out one of many chopsticks from the utensils drawer and sat down at the small kitchen table. Yes, I own chopsticks along with normal American forks & spoons and as odd as it may sound- I preferred them more. I sipped up the noodles while staring out the closest window which didn't offer much. The scenery consisting of mainly houses, skyscrapers, and traffic. It made me miss the town I grew up in even though it was a small and small towns tend to dislike weird introverted people. I didn't miss it for the size of the town, the nosy people, or assholes who treat 'outsiders' like trash.. I missed it for the vast landscape and solitude. It was a simpler time for me and I could feel the desire for such times.

After washing the bowl and chopsticks, placing them up to dry, I walked off to my bedroom and got ready for bed. Stripping out of the dark grey pants and wiggling out of a black sports bra while still managing to keep the black t-shirt on. Exposing most of my frame. I wasn't chubby, muscled, or lean.. I was just average. A average brown eyed and hair girl with a average body. Putting my glasses on the end table I pulled back the covers. Leaving only panties and a shirt for cover as I crawled into bed. I then made sure my alarm was set and resting beside me in bed before closing my eyes. I couldn't shrug off a feeling that something was missing but the feeling begin to fade as sleep finally came..

A/N: I can't promise quick updates but I will at least attempt a monthly chapter. Some may be sooner depending on work load and inspiration streak.
I also can't say if the chapters will be as equally this length or not but I will try to make them at least 2,000 -5,000 word count~

So that is the first chapter! I hope no one is angry at me for throwing a hard ball up front then ending it on such a normal mundane situation.