For Love of Family, written by Fat Bandit.
Summary: Tsuna learns how to love and be loved. Hints of slash.
Disclaimer: I do not own Hitman Reborn. Obviously.
…..
For Love of Family
When it goes down, it actually happens something like this: there's a shadow and it's moving, he feels the intent to kill, and he sees Reborn do nothing.
When Tsuna reacts, it is instantaneous.
He doesn't have to think about it but he's already in Dying Will mode; his hand is stretched out, burning in flames, and the body (half a block down, fifth floor of that tall, white building)- the body, he chars it through with fire and watches bones and skin alike turn into ashes and disperse into air.
Tsuna doesn't know this now, can't see that far no matter how superhuman he seems to unwittingly become. He will find out only later -when Haru lets slip something about damaged control and getting rid of witnesses and at least there's no mess to clean up- and then Tsuna will imagine that he saw those ashes spilling out of that fifth floor window, tumbling down into the street and entering inside Tsuna's mouth.
When Haru says this, clinically and detached as always, she will stare at Tsuna the whole time as if challenging him. Tsuna will just excuse himself politely, leave the meeting room, enter his own private bedroom and lock the door. Every time he closes his eyes, he will imagine a very tiny man beating against his chest, struggling to get out. He will struggle in an effort not to breathe, every breath choking like the cloying smell of smoke, and then he will take giant gasping breathes of air as he clings to the life -the people- he just can't give up on.
By nighttime, Gokudura will be frantically knocking on his door, pleading with Tsuna to let him inside. Asking if he's okay.
"Of course," Tsuna will say loudly through the walls. He will feel like there's so many walls in his life now, wonder how they were built and when.
He will remember Yamamoto's words of advice from earlier in the day, will open the door and look at Gokudura's relived face.
"I'm okay," Tsuna will say with a smile, and then his face will crumble and he will start crying, his skin will become blotchy and red and ugly. Gokudura will hold him, unquestionably as he always does, and they will never, ever speak of it again for the rest of their lives.
Right now, however, Tsuna stares at Reborn with calm eyes behind the flame. When he talks, his voice is curious, unaccusing.
"Why didn't you move?" Tsuna asks.
Reborn says nothing.
Gokudura rushes at Tsuna's side, clutching at him like a lifeline while asking if he's okay. Yamamoto comes to stand behind Tsuna and lets Gokudura do all the talking, but Tsuna can still feel the warmth of Yamamoto's hands settle on his shoulders.
It's Reborn that interrupts a minute later with a gently chiding voice. "We need to get out of here. People are staring," Reborn says.
Suddenly, Tsuna understands.
This isn't his last lesson, but it's his most important one.
The one that he will never forget. The one that he will use over and over and over again, until it seems like he's known it all his life and doesn't even remembering learning it.
When they get back to the base, Tsuna hears Gokudura shouting at Reborn, asking what the hell just happened. Tsuna is relieved that Gokudura doesn't know, that Reborn only shakes his head and walks away without telling him, that Gokudura is left standing there frustrated and angry while Yamamoto frowns and sneaks sidelong glances at Tsuna but both of them, ultimately, are ignorant. Innocent.
Eventually, Yamamoto corners him in his office. He stares at the great mahogany desk that's too big for the room, feels like the world's best fraud.
For his familia, Tsuna would have done anything. Will do anything. He tries to explain this.
"We'd do anything for you too, you know," Yamamoto says. It's one of those strange times when Tsuna thinks he is being serious, when he thinks maybe Yamamoto knows that this isn't all one big game. "Gokudura would take on the whole world just for you."
"Yes," Tsuna says, "thank you."
"Reborn won't tell us what happened."
"No. Sorry. I don't mean- I don't mean to keep secrets. It's just-" Tsuna cuts off.
"It's alright. You don't have to tell me. But Gokudura is going to come over tonight. Don't reject him again, yeah? A man can only take a beating so many times until it's just embarrassing." Yamamoto brushes his hand through Tsuna's hair and it's like the old days, almost.
Almost.
Gokudura comes at night, and Tsuna doesn't reject him.
A couple days later, it's Gokudura's turn. Tsuna watches helplessly as Gokudura takes his first kill. He doesn't even hesitate. "Tsuna! Tenth! Are you okay?"
"Why did you-"
"Good job, Gokudura," Reborn says, "Very clean."
"He tried to hurt the Tenth." Gokudura's voice is angry, harsh and dangerous in a way Tsuna can't remember hearing ever before. It sounds like someone crazy; a person obsessed. A person in love.
When it is Yamamoto a week later, he says the same thing, except he says it with a smile.
Tsuna can't even bring himself to wonder how things may have turned out this way. Reborn is nothing but meticulous.