More Blond Jokes
By Stormshadow13
Disclaimer: I only own a copy of the DVDs. I'm just borrowing the characters for a while.
Author's Note: This is a sequel to my other story Blond Jokes and this story takes place about a week after it. Also, as I said in my other story this is not my personal opinion of Blonds. Thank you.
(Daisuke to Dark)
((Dark to Daisuke))
/Satoshi to Krad/
//Krad to Satoshi//
It was yet another typical heist for Dark Mousy, or not.
((Hmmm, I wonder where Creepy Boy is?")) Mused Dark as he pocketed the necklace that Emiko had told him to steal that night.
(Hiwitari-Kun is not creepy,) protested Daisuke from the back of Dark's mind.
((Uh, Dai, I hate to break it to you but yes your boyfriend is very, very creepy."))
(Hiwitari-Kum is not my boyfriend! He is just a friend.") Protested Daisuke. (And anyway, if Hiwitari-Kun was here you'd probably be fighting Krad right now and after last time I highly doubt that he is very happy with you.")
((Ah, yes, last time,")) Dark Grinned. ((That was Fun and what do you mean not happy with me?))
Daisuke gaped at Dark, (uh hello, you made fun of him and then you kissed him. I really don't think Krad appreciated either of those things.")
(("Not appreciate my kiss?")) Dark sniffed. ((My other half should feel honored. He's the first guy I've ever kissed."))
("Somehow I don't think he is going to see it that way,") muttered Daisuke.
Dark ignored his host continued muttering as he walked across the room and reached for the window latch.
"Going somewhere Mousy?" purred a silky voice from behind him.
Daisuke groaned, ("oh no!")
Dark however grinned as he turned to face the speaker. "Why, hello, come back for another kiss?"
Krad sneered, "as, if."
Dark tapped his chin in pretended thought, "well then, if you are not here for a kiss. What could bring you to a drafty old museum at eleven at night?"
Krad smiled charmingly, "why, to kill you of course." He formed a golden ball of light in his left hand as he began to stalk towards Dark.
Dark shook his head sadly, "you my other half need a hobby…"
"Oh, but I do, planning your demise is a highly entertaining way to pass the time." Drawled Krad throwing the energy ball. Dark dodged and he created a second spear of light.
Dark smirked ignoring what his counterpart had just said. "…Or, maybe you just need to get laid."
Krad's amber eyes widened and then narrowed, "you, will, die!" He proceeded to throw several energy balls at Dark who proceeded to dodge them all.
("Great move Dark. You've pissed him off again.") Groaned Daisuke.
((Sorry Dai Chan, but it's true.")) Said Dark while he continued to dodge energy blast. He turned his attention back to his furious light counterpart. "You know, I've recently started a new hobby myself. Actually, I started it right after our fight last week."
"Damn you Mousy! Hold still!" howled Krad as Dark dodged yet another fire ball.
Dark grinned, "you know what that hobby is?"
Krad answered by throwing another ball of light.
Dark's grin grew bigger, "well here's my new hobby. So, what do you call it when a blond dies their hair brunette?"
Daisuke groaned and smacked his forehead, ("Oh, more blond jokes.")
Satoshi perked up in the back of Krad's mind/"Oh, more blond jokes."/
Dark chuckled and backed away from the blond hunter. "Artificial intelligence. How do you make a blond's eyes twinkle?"
Krad glared at Dark in raged but refused to answer
"You shine a flashlight in their ear. Why is it okay for blonds to catch colds?" Dark danced out of the path of still another energy blast. "They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out."
Satoshi snickered.
"Why did the blond stair at the can of frozen orange juice?"
Krad lunged for Dark teeth bared and snarling.
Dark ducked around a pillar and avoided him. "Because the can said concentrate."
/"Oh, that's a good one! I'm going to have to remember it."/ chortled Satoshi.
"So what do you do if a blond throws a grenade at you?"
Krad hesitated//"what is a grenade?"//
Satoshi snickered/"it is a type of small bomb that can be thrown by hand or launched from a rifle."/
Krad blinked//"what is a rifle?"//
Satoshi smacked his head, "it's a type of gun."/
//"Oh."//
Dark used his other self's momentary distraction to slide past the hunter. "You pull the pin out and throw it back." He reached out and caught a hold of Krad's pony tale and swiftly untied the cross from the bottom before dodging away.
Krad spun to face his thieving counterpart, "give it back!"
Dark grinned and dodged around another pillar. "What do you call a brunette between two blonds? An interpreter. What do you call a blond between two brunettes?"
Krad stalked around the pillar only to have Dark duck around another one.
""A Mental block." Dark circled the pillar and came up behind The ice demon. He reached out and using a bit of magic broke the tie holding Krad's hair in the pony tale.
Krad spun grabbing for Dark as his hair fell loose around him in a shimmering golden Curtin. He just missed the kaito, who danced back grinning. "Damn you!"
((Wow, I never realized his hair was that long.")) commented Dark. ((It looks so silky."))
Daisuke rolled his eyes. ("And I guess you are going to try and touch it hmmm.")
(("You bet,)) Dark Grinned. "what do you call twenty blonds in a circle?"
Krad began to warily advance on Dark hair swirling around his ankles.
Dark sidled to his left aiming for another pillar. "A dope ring."
Krad angled right to cut Dark off from reaching the pillar. While he began to form another light blast.
/"Why do you keep making those fire balls? You know that Dark is just going to avoid them."/ sighed Satoshi. /"And you're not going to hit him anyway with your bad aim."/
//"Bite me, you blue haired brat!"//
"So, what do you call ten blonds in a freezer?" Dark stopped angling for the pillar and leapt towards Krad. The blond jerked back in surprise and the Kaito slid past again. "Frosted flakes," Dark reached out as he passed his other half and ran his fingers through golden strands. ((Oo, silky."))
"Don't touch my hair!" hissed Krad spinning around to glare at his counterpart.
"How girly," mumbled Dark.
Krad growled low and leapt swinging a fist at Dark's head.
Dark however reached up and caught Krad's wrist yanking the hunter off balance. The blond stumbled falling into Dark's waiting embrace. "You know," He began conversationally; "you really need to work on your hand to hand skills."
Krad's eyes blazed as he began to struggle when Dark's free arm wrapped around his waist. The Kaito leaned down until the two were practically nose to nose.
"You know, I was going to actually steel two things tonight."
Daisuke blinked, ("You were?")
Satoshi blinked/"He was?"/
"I had to get the necklace," continued Dark, "but the other thing is…" He leaned down the rest of the way and captured Krad's mouth in a demanding kiss.
The blond once again momentarily froze eyes wide.
Dark pulled back licking his lips. "A kiss from you. That was my real target." He let go of the blond and leapt away heading for the nearest window.
This time though Krad recovered a lot faster from the shock of being kissed. He took off after his escaping other half and managed to block Dark's path to the window. The hunter began to advance on his startled other self. His teeth were bared again in a feral snarl and his amber eyes glittered in unchecked fury.
Dark skidded to a halt, "woops, wrong way." He did an about face and took off in the opposite direction heading for a corridor leading to another part of the museum.
Krad was caught off guard by his other self's retreat. He had been expecting Dark to charge him trying for the window. So when the kaito turned and ran, Krad had been caught flatfooted. The surprise only lasted for a moment before he was after his other self but that moment was just enough to give Dark a fairly good head start. Krad snarled and spread his wings launching himself into the air.
Dark reached the corridor only to see his light counterpart arrowing straight towards him. He sprinted down the shadowy corridor running full out. He glanced back again Krad was still airborne and following although the blond had to slow to avoid catching his wings on the corridor walls. Dark could see that Krad's wing tips brushed against the walls with each flap. Dark sighed he knew that he was going to have to stun the blond to get out of the museum in one piece.
("Dark! What are we going to do?!") yelled Daisuke in panic.
Dark looked around as he burst into the large display chamber. (("let me think.")) His eyes fell on one of the large pillars, (("I got it!")) He swiftly began to climb one of the pillars close to the corridor entrance. Dark climbed until he guessed that he would be above Krad when he came through the door. There he settled waiting for his other half.
Krad didn't disappoint, he glided through the door just seconds after Dark had gotten in position. White wings flapped keeping their owner still in the air while amber eyes scanned the room. "Mousy!" He yelled, "Damn it! Get out here! You bastard!"
Dark's lips twitched, (("If I'm a bastard he technically is one too since he's my other half."))
(Never mind that! Just get us out of this!") yelled Daisuke.
Dark shrugged, (("alright, alright, Keep your shirt on."))
Krad had actually hovered a bit closer to the pillar where Dark was hiding. The blond's attention was still focused on the floor of the chamber. If he had looked up he would have seen Dark and what happened would not have happened. But the point is he didn't and it did.
"Here!"
Krad didn't even have time to turn his head as Dark dropped on the blond from above. His left arm wrapped around the hunter's neck as his legs wrapped around the ice demon's waist. Dark reached around with his right arm and caught his fingers in Krad's collar. Snowy wings nearly buckled under the sudden addition of a hundred and sum pounds of kaito. Krad flapped desperately trying to stay airborne while at the same time he tried to shake his other half off his back. "MOUSY! GET OFF!" The blond began to twist and rive in the air attempting to dislodge his unwanted passenger.
Dark grinned, (("Yee Haa!"))
("You're really enjoying this aren't you," sighed Daisuke.
((You bet,")) replied Dark cheerfully. (("Hmmm, wonder if he's this wild in bed?"))
Daisuke turned as red as his hair, ("DARK!")
Dark just snickered as he held on to the hunter turned acrobatic. White gloved hands reached up tugging at his arm trying to loosen his grip but Dark held on stubbornly. He knew that it would be only a matter of time. He could already feel the ice demon gasping for breath as wing beats became more labored.
The over use of his magic mixed with Dark's added wait and the fact that he didn't get out very much to exercise were taking their toll on the hunter. After a few more minutes of aerial stunts to try and dislodge his other half Krad began to flounder in the air. The blond finally sank to the floor exhausted. He landed on his feet, stumbled and fell to his knees head hanging and panting for breath.
(("Well, that was fun,")) remarked Dark letting go of the blond. (("Although,")) he added, (("I think my other self will be feeling this tomorrow."))
("I think he's feeling it now.") muttered Daisuke, ("I kind of feel sorry for him. But let's go.")
(("I want to do something first"))
("Dark, what are you up to now?") demanded Daisuke.
Dark ignored his host and walked around his light counterpart. He knelt in front of Krad and lifted the blond's chin with his left hand. "Until our next meeting," murmured Dark brushing his lips against the hunter's. "And I'm keeping your cross," he said as he gently ran a hand through golden hair.
Krad only had the energy to glare balefully at his thieving counterpart.
Dark chuckled as he ran his hand through golden locks once more. Then he rose to his feet trotted across the room and leapt out the window summoning Wiz, leaving one very exhausted and annoyed hunter in the museum.