Author Wicked: If your a lover of Edward Cullen, I suggest you back out. This is merely base off an idea and a picture of my current love interest has on gaiaonline dot com. I found it so amusing after a total week, and decided just to do this for pure fun, NO FLAMES!

Edward: You really hate me, don't you?

Me: Not Really a hate, I just find you disgusting when you remove your shirt back in Eclipse. Really made me gag, no offense.

Edward: Your a hater...

Me: Nope.

Bella: As much as i hate this right now, can we, umm, start?

Me: Yes!

I was one of the few humans, who knew the Cullen's secret, and for that, I was also thankful for knowing Alice, rather a funny girl. Despite her childish behaviors.

" CASSIE! " Ah, here she comes now, bouncing down the stairs of the elaborated home, she had a evil smile on her face, and that usually wasn't good. I was sitting on the couch, kicking Emmett butt at Modern Warfare, and he kept saying ' i'm losing purposely! ', to me, yeah, right Met-Met, my personal nickname for the big guy. " What is it?" I asked, my long auburn hair was tied up into a bun, and my brown eyes narrowed as Emmett won, I let him. I held the expression of, ya got me. Turning my head to the spikey haired girl, I raised an eyebrow the minute she shove a gun to my face. " You want me to kill someone? " I had a record, but thankfully, I didn't actually let someone died, I was nice! not a killer.

" Actually...I need you to shoot Edward for me."

I couldn't help but grin, Emmett booming laughter emitted. " This I gotta hear! " he looked to her, his baseball cap on backwards. Foo...

Suddenly, I grab my black hoodie, sticking my hand into the pockets and pulled out a pair of black sunglasses, sliding them on as I push Alice to sit down, Emmett turning down the lights, I held a flashlight in her face. " State yer reason little lady. " I was actually the shortest of the Cullen's, pretty sad to. My features may of look older, but my chest was flat, and most though of me as a little boy or girl. I stood only four eight, feel my pain? Alice blinked and smiled widely. Both myself and Emmett leaned forward to listen...

xOxOxO

I love playing spy, Alice had convince Esme, Carlisle, and Rosalie to leave for the mall, of course Rosalie was abit unnerving, unsure, thanks to Emmett, she went ahead and left. Me? Well, I live with them, reasons? ya ain't gunna know. So I offer to stay home, claiming I wasn't feeling well. ( boy was I good! Carlisle didn't do body check on me xD ) I had set the house up, for the moment everything was right, I was hitting away string lines til I heard a car. " Crap! " I quickly was thinking of flying pigs, and such. Edward hadn't been home for two days mostly because of Bella. ( Sorry, but I just totally dislike her! ) I don't know why, but I don't wanna know neither. I shut the lights off. and close all blinds in the manor and hid. I heard the door opened.

" Alice? " no answer.

" Carlisle? " no answer.

" Emmett? " no answer.

" Rosalie?" piff yeah right! no answer.

" Cassie?" ah my moment.

" EDWARD! " I shouted, he quickly lunged forward and I heard him yelp, he yelp! and groaned, and cursed. I switched the lights on and saw him tangle with red strings, colored rainbow paint dumped on him, and glittery confetti.

" What the hell? " he exclaimed. I took the gun out and pointed it at him, he stared at me. Like I was serious. I was sadly. I shot him right in the forehead. He jolted and his head back, then his head straighten, glaring at me. " WHAT WAS THAT FOR? " he demanded, yelling, owch, my ears.

" You Dye Alice hair pink, didn't come home for two days just because of that, and it took her three hours to get rid of, and I shot you just cause its gunna be thar when you see Bella. " I smiled sweetly.

" Well Shit. "

" Exactly. " I replied, Smug.

He looked at me, I was thinking of pigs can fly, and singing loudly in my head, I saw him flinched. I knew he heard me say mentally ' I BELIEVE EDDIE CAN FLY WITH PIGS! ' High pitch, Might I add.

" You need mental help." He pointed out.

" And you need to get laid, mister hundred something years old. " I snickered, and at that moment. Alice was back with the family, Esme walked in, gasp, eyes widen, Carlisle didn't know whether to laugh, or be piss. His expression trying to smile. Rosalie had a smirk, And Emmett was laughing, and Alice well, she was happy. " Emmett plan the trap layout, didn't he? " Edward voice was grim. I nodded my head, and held the gun up, grinning. " Yep! " I chirped. What an awesome day...And Edward was still piss, because the wound didn't close the next day, causing him to go to school with a huge ban-aid on his forehead. Funny how he complained that students were laughing at him behind his back when he try to look serious.