A/N:So ... It's been awhile since I've written for HOD, though I do enjoy working with Wade & Zoe as characters. This one isn't quite the happy go lucky kind of story ... but rest assured that a angsty/fluffy HOD one-shot will be on it's way soon, and it will have spoilers for season 4.
Wade woke with a start. The previous night's events came back in perfect memory. The secret joy he felt at holding Zoe again. The feel of perfection when they're mouths connected in pure ecstasy. He had to mention how proud he was of the fact that having sex with Zoe was much like riding a bike. He knew exactly what to do, and how to do it, to receive that just right moan from within Zoe.
That part of the problem, he didn't have an issue with. It was more the fact that he couldn't look at Zoe without feeling all those familiar feelings from before. The butterflies in his stomach, for fear that he'd say something stupid and screw everything up. The flutter in his heart, because he knew that Zoe felt the exact same way about him. Not that he'd ever mention any of this in front of anyone else.
It didn't take a rocket scientist to realize that he was still just as in love with Zoe Hart as he had been before he had screwed everything to hell. In fact, what he felt for Zoe, was so much stronger than any feelings that he had ever had for any other woman in his life. That fact alone is what scared him to death. It was because of the intensity of his feelings for Zoe that had caused him to hurt her the first time.
He had told Zoe the night before … and many other times, that he couldn't be with her because he didn't trust her. It was a lie when it left his lips. He knew the truth, he knew that it wouldn't take any time before he hurt Zoe again, and he wouldn't be able to take it. To see the look of true disappointment on her face, and knowing that he was the one that caused it.
Wade took the time to take in Zoe's sleeping form. The slow, careless breaths that entered and exited her lungs. The rise and fall of her chest. The way that the moonlight shone on her face, lighting it up in a way that made his heart skip a beat.
For a moment he thought he'd make a clean break. Just leave in the night … no note, nothing. That idea lasted all of one second, before he shook his head, and stood up. He pulled on his pants, trying his hardest not to slip and fall in his haste. Once his jeans where pulled up, he glanced around Zoe's for a piece of paper and a pen. He jotted down a few sentences, and left.
Zoe woke the next morning, a smile on her face. She had done it. She had won back the heart of Wade Kinsella. With her eyes still lazily shut, she felt the other side of her large bed, and frowned when she found it cold and empty.
"Wade?" She called out, hoping that he had merely woken before her and had wondered out for some food.
When she received no answer to her call, she sat up and scanned her apartment slowly. There were two things that she noticed quickly. Wade's clothes were missing, and there was a flap of white paper sticking up from the table. A sinking feeling hit her stomach, and she suddenly felt nauseous. With a deep, calming breath, Zoe stood up with her comforter wrapped around her thin frame, and made her way over to the table.
With closed eyes, Zoe opened the piece of paper, and felt tears hit her eyelids, knowing that whatever was written, would surely break her heart all over again.
Zoe,
Last night was fun, but that was it. I told you that we couldn't be together, and I mean it. Stay away from me. Last night can never happen again. You were right, if we continue down that path we'll only end up in the same place as last time. I'm not sure that I could handle something like that, again. The only thing that I am sure of, is that I can never trust you with my heart again. If dating you taught me anything, it's that being a one-woman kind of man just isn't in my cards.
- Wade
Zoe saw tears drip onto the paper in her hands, as anger over took any feeling of fear or sadness. In that moment, she hated Wade Kinsella. He couldn't trust her with his heart? It was more like she couldn't trust him with hers. Not since he had just broken her heart all over again. Throwing their past in her face like that, and then blaming her for being the 'heart-breaker' made her sick.
"I hate you, Wade!" She screamed, as she tore up his note that he had left her.
Wade stood behind the bar at the Rammer Jammer, with a scowl painted on his face. If he had trusted anyone else to open up his business, then he would have just called in sick. In fact he would have done almost anything to avoid Zoe Hart. He knew that she would be pissed, and he knew that she would be looking for him, if only to make a huge scene … not that he blamed her. His only goal with the note he had left her had been to keep her from wanting him back.
If he had simply said it wouldn't work because he didn't trust her, he knew that alone wouldn't have been enough to off-put Zoe. If he wanted her to stop perusing him, then he had to pull out the big guns. He suddenly felt queasy knowing that the only way to not hurt Zoe, was to hurt her. What he had written, he knew it would be like a sucker punch to her gut. Wade knew that she would hate him, probably forever this time.
The bell above the door brought him back to the present. The scowl on his face dropped into one of fear and worry. The look that covered Zoe's face, and the darkness that over took her eyes. He had never seen her like this. Not even when she figured out that he had cheated on her. He had known she was angry and upset, but not like this.
"Wade!" His name erupted from her mouth like she was spitting out something that burned her from the inside. "We need to talk." Her voice was deceptively calm, and Wade knew he was in definite trouble.
Throwing down the rag in his hand, he rounded the bar and followed Zoe outside. At least no one would hear her berate him out there.
"How dare you?" Again, cool and calm. Like she was reeling him in for his own death.
Wade took a small step backward, as he ran his fingers through his hair. "How dare I? How dare you!?" He knew that he was just digging the hole deeper, but he had to keep to what he had written, or she would see through it all.
Zoe closed the gap between them, and dug her pointer finger into his chest. "You are a son of a bitch, Wade Kinsella. You know that? To throw our past in my face like that. Like it wouldn't just tear open the broken pieces of my heart. The pieces, mind you, that you broke in the first place. You can't trust me with your heart? What about mine? Huh, Wade?"
Wade bit his lip to keep his emotions in check. He had expected her to come stomping in, angry, yelling, but this calm anger was nothing he had ever prepared himself for. "Yeah, I hurt you. I get it, alright, but I paid my price for it. A heart for a heart, right, Doc? I broke yours, so you turned around and broke mine. Well here is a little tidbit for you, Doc. It's not just you I don't trust. It's all women. You all lie. Whispering things of love and lifetime, then you just turn around and leave. So, why don't you just follow suit, Doc, it wouldn't be the first time."
With one hard shove to Wade's chest, Zoe turned on her heel and stomped away from the Rammer Jammer. Wade watched her fading silhouette, as a few tears tracked their way down his cheeks. He had lied to himself. He didn't just hurt Zoe, and break her heart. He had broken his own as well.