So I've read and I've fan-girled and I've hit just about every tumblr site I can find. It's a official. I'm a SHOOT addict. That said, this is my first foray into POI fiction. Set sometime after they've found the subway, but definitely before Shaw was compromised. Reviews are always welcomed!
Disclaimer: So not mine, despite my dreams.
Shaw paced angrily across the room. Each step driven down with the will to shatter the cement flooring. She was furious, and Root knew it, but there wasn't much she could do about that now. She didn't want to have this talk anymore than Shaw did. Except, maybe, just a little a bit more. For closure and all that. But only a little. She wouldn't walk out of this room unscathed. She'd be in pain whether physically or emotionally. Both if she were especially unlucky. This was certainly not the way she'd envisioned spending her birthday. But Shaw's temper-tantrum had to end.
"You can't keep avoiding me you know." She began liltingly, biting her lip when violence-seeking orbs turned her way.
"Clearly." Shaw ground out, stalking back Root's way. She put on an air of mild indifference and huffed.
"At least for the boys's sake. They'll suspect something." The shorter woman growled at their mention.
"What do they know?" Came the suspicious demand and the hacker only rolled her eyes.
"Nothing. And I assume you'd like to keep it that way?" Shaw shot her a look that could only be described as the visual equivalent to 'Well Duh.' and Root grinned.
"Then you might want to stop acting like being in the same room as me is torture." A flicker of a grimace flitted about her face before it was schooled into annoyance and denial and Root had to force the frown off her own. So it was like torture to her then. Wonderful. Because that wasn't a kick to the gut or anything.
"I am not acting like that." An eyebrow arched of its own accord and even hurting, Root found a tad bit of humor in her petulant behavior.
"Really? Because you didn't just run out of the subway with the excuse of….what was it again? Having to go do that thing you were meaning to do?" Root imagined a bit of pink on Sameen's cheeks as the assassin folded her arms and deliberately looked away.
"I didn't run." Was what she finally bit out and it was so immature and so obvious and so damn cute that Root almost forgot what she'd come here to say. Almost.
"Look. You don't have to do this. Keep avoiding me. I'm not going to make a big deal out of it or anything." Shaw shifted and looked mildly uncomfortable and the hacker sighed internally. She had really really hoped that she'd be been wrong, but clearly she'd hit the nail on the damn proverbial head.
"I don't know what you're talking about." Root stuck her tongue in her cheek and bit the bullet.
"It doesn't have to matter that you broke your three-night-rule." Shaw's face went from annoyed to angry in milliseconds and any lingering doubt was banished from Root's mind.
Truth be told, she wasn't sure which of them had been more surprised that Shaw had broken her own code. Root had treasured the first night in all of it's violent pent-up-aggression glory. Her wounds had taken days, weeks, to completely disappear and she'd lovingly caressed each one everyday, replaying the memory of their creation over and over in her mind. By the second time, she'd already been painfully aware that she was over halfway done with the time she'd be allowed with Shaw and she'd made it last for as long as possible. She'd kept them both up until exhaustion had kicked in, dragging the night on until long past daybreak.
She'd put off night three for much longer than she would have liked. The idea that she could never again be with the woman who was unintentionally stealing what was left of her heart sat like bad taste in her mouth. She wanted that last little, I could still have her, feeling. Didn't want it to be done. Eventually though, a bad number and combined silence from her Goddess and the operatives in the field had all but convinced her that Shaw was dead. For all of an hour. But it had by far been the worst hour of her existence. The ache in her heart finally gave a name to what she'd been feeling and she could deny it no longer. She loved her. God, did she love her.
When the shorter woman and Harold's stupid pet had finally showed, harried but blessedly alive, Root had forced her home and absolutely screwed her brains out. There wasn't any way she could have held back. She needed Sameen. Needed to feel her. She'd put all of her focus on Shaw. On showing her exactly what she meant, even if Shaw didn't want to hear it, or couldn't feel the same. She had at least ensured that the assassin would remember her. Ruined her for any other lover. She'd rocked her damn world and Shaw would never be able to forget her touch.
Weeks had gone by, numbers came and went, and everyday Root hid her longing looks, and stifled the growing pain in her chest. Shaw had been very clear before the first kiss on that first night. Three times. Never any more. Ever. So she'd smiled and flirted and ignored the nausea in her throat when ever she pictured her woman with anyone else.
Then a particularly violent number had cropped up and she'd had to go on the run. A bullet wound in her leg, a knife cut in her arm, her implant damaged due to a large explosion in a old building she'd somehow managed to get out of in time. No way to contact anyone, living off broken communications and her own desire to not be dead. When she'd showed up at Shaw's place nearly two weeks later, cold, starving and bleeding all over, she'd expected some harsh medical treatment, a bit of food, an angry lecture, and at best a warm couch to crash on for the night.
But after her wounds had been treated and she'd been fed the normally angry and utterly indifferent woman had cupped her face with more tenderness that Root had been shown before by anyone, and kissed her. She'd been too surprised to respond properly. Stupidly she'd pulled away and looked on in confusion. Trying to talk but only getting out the word "Three." before Shaw shook her head, and captured her lips again. That night had been sweet and soft and everything the other nights had not. Come morning, Shaw was gone and so began the Great Avoidance Game.
That had been weeks ago and Root refused to admit she was impressed by Shaw's ability to be everywhere that she wasn't and make it look like an accident. Naturally, Root made it her mission to be wherever Shaw was. Then, making it look accidental started to lose priority and she'd had to work to get more than one or two words exchanged. Eventually it downgraded to Shaw literally running away from her and Root had drawn the line. This needed to be talked about, even briefly. The work on the numbers was starting to slip and that just wouldn't do. So she'd…tricked…Shaw into this shitty hotel room to have an argument she was sure neither of them really wanted to have.
She watched as Shaw's scowl increased and her crossed arms became tightly clenched fists held at her side.
"You don't know what you're talking about." Root scoffed and walked closer to the shorter woman.
"So it's a complete coincidence that night four happens and then you just magically can't look me in the eye?" The challenge laid out, Shaw could do nothing but snap her head up and lock their gazes. The victory was short lived and she looked away, seeming ever more like a trapped animal.
"Whatever. I don't have to listen to this." She made to storm past and Root made a surprised noise in the back of her throat.
"Shaw…" she began and made the mistake of reaching out to catch her wrist. Not surprisingly, she found herself pinned to the wall and a seething ex-assassin snarling inches away from her face.
"Don't touch me." Was the venomous reply and through a vaguely aroused haze Root tried to remain calm.
"It's okay." She tried to soothe and it was if Shaw suddenly realized what she was doing. She stepped back swiftly and looked down at the ground, her eyes shifty in panic. Still assuming that a 'fourth-night-freak-out' was what had Shaw twitchy, Root grinned and played it off.
"Honestly, I don't see what the big deal is. So what if it was once more?" She did her best to pull off light and airy but Shaw shifted on her feet and mumbled.
"You don't understand." Root huffed and made a face, irritation seeping in. For God's sake she was trying to help this woman walk away from her. Couldn't she see the out Root was trying to give her?
"Breaking the three night thing doesn't mean anything. I mean, really? It's completely understandable." Shaw clenched and unclenched her jaw, her fists following suit. She shook her head again, harder this time and hissed.
"You don't understand." Anger melded with irritation and Root lost her patience. She was sure it was bitterness and aggression that seeped into her suddenly higher pitched voice.
"Why let some silly rule keep you from great sex right? That's all it was. Just allowing another great bout of mind-blowing sex and…" Root did not get any further as Shaw's fist collided with the wall next her head with a speed that jolted her heart. Their eyes locked and Root stopped breathing at the….everything swirling in Shaw's gaze. Her confused visage contorted into one of rage and confusion.
"Because that's the problem." She ground out, the volume of her voice loud in their close proximity. All at once, as if those four words had been a confession, Shaw's anger dissipated. Her shoulders slumped and she looked away briefly, staring at her fist in the wall, resignation in her voice now. "That's not why I did it. And that's the problem." Her voice sounded almost pained and Root whimpered when Shaw forced eye-contact again. "Don't you get it? I didn't break the rule for 'great sex.'" It was laced with sarcasm and the shorter woman's eyes were begging her to understand whatever turmoil was waging war inside of her. Lost, Root could only frown.
"Then why?" She whispered, dreading the answer. Shaw snorted and let her arm fall. She seemed almost amused. Helpless. And suddenly the tight ball of despair that had been coiling in Root's stomach gave way to a different kind of heat as the only the thing that could possibly bother Shaw this much snuck it's way into the back of her mind. For a moment Shaw stayed still before letting out a small chuckle and looking back up.
"I did it because I thought you were dead." It was a confession in and of itself. A simple statement of fact from someone who honestly had no idea what it really meant. Root swallowed hard." I did it because….." her eyes became unfocused as she tried to sift through the words in her head. Finally she just shrugged again and rolled her shoulders in defeat. "Because I needed to feel you. I needed to feel that you were alive. That you were okay. And I don't know what to do with that."
Root knew her jaw fell open a bit and she couldn't help the way her whole body reacted to the soft words. Shaw admitted to worrying about her. To needing her. And damn if that didn't feel good. Like, end of the world good.
Seemingly spent, the ex-operative wandered over and sat on the edge of the questionable looking bed, resting her elbows on her knees and hiding her face in her hands. Root stayed where she was against the wall, her mind in over-drive trying to process the situation and simultaneously hold back the flood of emotion she could feel building.
So…Shaw felt something. And it freaked her out. Okay. That was…she could handle that. Fix it. Deal with it. As long as she could stop grinning like a madwoman. Same priority as before, make Shaw feel okay. Less freaked out. Like it was no big deal. Only it was. It so was. It was the biggest deal. Now, the possibility of night number five was on the table. With extraordinary effort, she bit back her grin and hesitantly made her way over to the crappy 80's bed-spread, settling herself next to the lost woman. She chewed on her tongue for a moment, trying to suss out the best way to start.
"You don't have to do anything with it if you don't want." The brunette moved her hands from her face but stared at the floor. Root took this as a sign to keep going.
"It doesn't have to change anything. It's not like either of us need…definitions or labels." Shaw shifted so she was leaning back against the wall and Root took a deep breath and tried to remind herself that nothing ventured was nothing gained.
"Things have always been… different with you and me." Shaw bit her lip and the hacker turned so she was facing her lover? soul mate? Placing a hand on her knee she forced herself to push on.
"They can stay…different." Miraculously, Shaw made eye-contact and Root played down the swarm of butterflies in her stomach as she started to move. Slowly she slid her hand up Shaw's deliciously toned leg and rested it on her opposite shoulder. When Shaw seemed more exhausted and curious than angry, she followed the motion with her body, gently straddling the prone killer. An eyebrow raised curiously at her and Root put on a playful smile.
"We can be whatever you want us to be. No rules, no codes. Just, do whatever feels right." She lowered her tone . "We're both, do whatever feels right kinda people." Her voice was rewarded when the shorter woman's hands moved almost of their own accord to her waist.
"You think?" Shaw's voice was a little gravelly, a little hopeful, and Root did her best to repress the shivers of desire than ran through her. Instead she put on her 'flirty and generally irritating Shaw' voice to keep the mood light and keep Shaw relaxed.
"Of course. Nothing has to change. We can just…do whatever. And I'm my own person. And you're your own person." Shaw's mouth twitched and she seemed to be thinking it over so Root pushed on. "You can do whatever with whoever, I can do whatever with whoever…" Unexpectedly, the hands on her waist tightened and she almost hissed when nails dug into her hips. Shaw growled low in her throat and shook her head, closing her eyes.
"I don't…" She trailed off, lost and upset again and Root cocked her head, confused. Flicking her gaze upward and seeing the arched eyebrow, Shaw groaned in frustration and bit her lip before pushing on. "The idea…." She trailed off again and Root almost smiled at the adorable sight of a flustered Shaw. The assassin picked up on the amusement and hissed, squeezing her hands into the infuriating woman's sides again.
"Someone….whoever…someone else….touching you. I just..." She tilted her head back, letting it bang against the wall in irritation even as she dug her fingers into Root again and the light bulb went off over the hacker's head. She didn't even try to keep the amusement out of her voice when she leaned closer and sing-songed back.
"That's called jealousy you know." A low throaty growl was her response and Shaw's voice was dripping with the aggravation it usually held when dealing with Root.
"I know what's it's called Root." She hissed, the 'T' in her name stressed as if it were a bomb. She ground her teeth as if this were a physically painfully thing for her and nearly whined. "I don't like it." Root had to actually bite her bottom lip to keep from laughing, her smile threatening to overwhelm her face. She wanted to tease. Oh God she wanted to taunt, but right now that wasn't what she needed to do. Hardly believing that this was not some sort of dream, she swallowed the warm heat bubbling up from within her and leaned forward, gently resting her arms on the shorter woman's shoulders. It was mildly uncomfortable, given the height difference, but she pushed all that aside. For a second she just breathed, planning on what she was going to say because damn this felt like the most important moment in her life and she could not screw it up. A few calming breaths later and her voice was serious and soft when she spoke.
"Sameen." She whispered with as much tenderness as she'd ever used to address the dark brunette before. She waited until flustered eyes had opened and met her own before continuing. She was nothing but dripping with conviction when she spoke, enunciating each individual word. Making sure the woman beneath her knew exactly what it was she was saying. "If you want me to be yours… and only yours….." Shaw's eyes closed and breathed out harshly as Root finished with a helpless shrug. "Then I'm yours." She watched Shaw shiver slightly and turn her head to stare off to the side, licking her lips.
Root did not move. She barely breathed. She let Sameen shift and think and process and for someone who never felt anything but anger, her face bore a striking testament to her internal debate. She'd chew on her tongue, wince at something, shake her head, purse her lips, clench her jaw, and Root was fascinated, drowning in curiosity at what could be bouncing around in her mind. Suddenly Shaw stopped, gave a soft laugh, and nodded to herself. Looking all the while like she'd just decided which gun she'd rather take into battle.
Dark eyes met hers and Root saw a tiny flicker of hesitation flit across her beautiful features before Shaw was once again Miss Calm and Collected. When her answer came, it was so damn Shaw that Root almost rolled her eyes.
"Yeah." She hummed, her neutral face back in action. "That. Let's do that." She maintained eye-contact and Root had to physically bite her tongue to keep from squealing in delight. Before she could melt into happiness however, there was one last question she had to ask. She put on her best teasing flirty sort of smirk and snuggled closer, absently playing with the tip of Shaw's ponytail.
"So….." She drew out, smirking at the arched eyebrow she got in return. "Does that mean that you are mine? And only mine?" For a split second, she thought Shaw was angry as a frown began to form. Her innocent yet curious smile stayed plastered in place and God help her Shaw just smirked right back.
"Only yours huh?" She stuck her tongue in her cheek and looked down at the playful woman, huffing, letting one hand slide to Shaw's collar-bone.
"Well, you know how it is for you… when you think of someone else?… Touching me?" She received a growl in return and fingers dug into her skin. Her perky psycho routine kicked into high gear. "The idea of you…" her hand moved up Shaw's neck, "…with anyone else…" she squeezed ever so lightly, "…makes me very…" her head moved closer, "…very, upset." Her hand tightened enough to draw a small exhalation from Shaw and by then her mouth was close enough to breath in the same air as she made her point.
She was pleased when Shaw only stared back, arousal and not fear playing in her gaze as the hacker felt the contours of her windpipe under her hand. Then Shaw moved and Root had almost braced herself to be kicked off when suddenly an open hand was thrust between them.
"Deal." Came the neutral response and Root couldn't help the disbelief that instantly painted her face. Pulling back she looked down at the assassin's hand and then back up, trying hard to keep her tone of voice not high pitched and crazy.
"Deal?" She questioned. Like this was some kind of business arrangement. Shaw only shrugged but Root caught the undercurrent of a smile in her expression and knew instantly that Shaw was being so…well…Shaw on purpose.
It's not like she could bring herself to be mad about it. For God's sake SHAW had just agreed to exclusivity with her. Freaking exclusivity! She belonged to the infuriating shorter woman, and Sameen, her Sameen, belonged to her right back. It was the damned Holy Grail. An unbelievable, unattainable, unreachable thing that was suddenly hers and all hers and only hers and god, did she want to just kiss her already. So she did. For a moment there was no war. No Samaritan. No whispers in her ear. Just her and her woman. She doubted that thought would ever cease making her spine tingle .
Hallelujah it was the start of night number five and the numbers didn't matter anymore more and as they swiftly decided to make use of the horrible bed all Root could think was : Best Birthday Ever.