Dear diary,

Today sucked. I thought I could smile throughout the day and pretend that everything was fine. Fine: the word people use when they're completely not fine. I read something today- something that I, for once, completely believe.

"She's hurt, mentally and emotionally. But everyday, she walks with a smile, 'cause that's just who she is: the girl who never stopped smiling."

How ironic, right?

Anyway, enough depressing talk. School starts tomorrow and I can't say that I'm happy about it. School equals seeing the people that I really don't want to see, however putting on a happy show. How did people not see right through me?

Sure, I smile.

But truly: I'm just broken.

Sweet dreams.

-Riley

Waking up to the sun beaming through your window, is usually a great way to wake up. If your in a movie. In reality- it's awful.

I felt as though I was going to pass out. My head was hurting like hell and I sure wasn't making any plans on moving. Until,

Echo, echo, is the only voice coming back. Shadow, shadow, is the only friend that I-

Don't get me wrong, I love that song, but it was 7am and I was as grumpy as ever.

I knew that Maya was probably going to make her way over here soon, and frankly I didn't feel like talking to her. Sure, she's my best friend and I hadn't fallen out with her or anything, but this summer had been different.

I hadn't spoken to her for the entire summer, and she hadn't really made any effort, either.

I rapidly got dressed, and sorted myself out. I grabbed my bag and climbed out of my bay window.

I'll deal with my mom later.

As I headed to school, I thought about all that had happened recently. Nothing bad happened in the family. My father, Cory, was still the same man he was before summer. My mother, Topanga, was still the same woman she was before summer, too. Auggie always stayed the same. Yet, I felt so distant from all of them. Even Auggie.

It really was me. I thought that maybe everyone around me had changed, but in all honesty, it was me who had changed.

My attitude had changed, immensly. I was no longer shy, but very confident. I was no longer kind, but cold. Distant.

How did I change so much? Why?

Those were the questions to which, I had no answer to. I guess I just did. I stopped caring what people thought about me. People always had the worst to say when it came to me, so I changed myself.

Although my attitude was 'slightly' different, I had to admit- I looked hot. My fashion sense definitely changed too. No, I'm not vain or self-obsessed, but I seriously had changed a great deal.

Some peoples definition of me may be 'bitch', but honestly, I still cared. Deep down, I cared for everyone and secretly, everyone's opinions meant a lot to me. Especially if it was something about me. The tip is, to not show any emotion upon it. You don't want people thinking you're weak, or human, do you? Pfft. Of course not.

As I reached the school doors, I braced myself for the worst. People could react extremely negatively towards the new me, or they could love the change just as much as I do.

Remember. No emotion.

And with that, I headed inside. I'd be lying if I said that all the attention on me, didn't make me slightly uneasy, however I also kind of loved it. Everyone staring at you, appreciating your appearance: I could get used to it. Then someone broke my thoughts.

"Riley?" A husky voice asked behind me, in disbelief. I turned around sharply, and replied snarkily,

"Sure is," I looked him over. "Nice to see you too, Friar."

"H-how is this possible?" Lucas looked me over again, then again, and eventually met my eyes. "Why do you look so different, Riles?"

His gaze was hard, then softened. Just his look almost made me melt. But I had to be strong.

"Well, I decided the whole sunshine look wasn't doing much for me. I finally went for a-"

"Look that isn't you at all? Is this because of what happened between me and Maya? Because I've been meaning to talk to you about that," His eyes searched deep into mine, but I had worked so hard on my image. It took a whole summer. I couldn't let him ruin that.

"No. Absolutely not." I replied, bravely.

After an awkward silence, I figured out why there was no reply. There was a look of confusion on his face.

"It wasn't what happened between you and Maya that changed me. I just wasn't happy with who I was. Now, I am." I certified, then walked away.

Not today, Friar. Not today.

Dear diary,

Today wasn't half as bad as I thought it was going to be. School went by pretty fast, after my awkward encounter with The Lucas Friar himself.

I didn't see Maya all day. Same goes for Farkle however, I think Farkle wasn't at school at all. Maya just wasn't in any of my classes.

As for the people talking about me- today all I heard was jealousy. I gotta say, it was unusual having people talk about me in hatred because they were jealous, but hey I'm not complaining. After all, it worked. I'm finally making my way on top.

I just can't wait until they see what I can really do.

Until next time.

The bitch herself.

-Riley