One card, tilted next to the other. All piled up until it reached the height he wanted. Near didn't change expressions as he placed on another card, despite what he was thinking about.
"If you can't win the game, if you can't solve the puzzle, then your nothing more then a loser . . ."
He'd said L was a loser.
He hadn't really meant it.
But what would the director—or Mello—do if they knew he was doing everything for revenge? They might think he was just a kid, someone who wasn't truly ready to step into the role of his predecessor, someone ruled by emotions. But he was ready, even if he wasn't as smart as L. And he couldn't risk revealing that part of himself to Mello, so he'd lied.
To some extent, he had meant what he said. And L had lost to Kira; but that didn't mean he was a loser. As long as Near completed the task, L hadn't failed, he'd just designated the job.
L was also a loser if Mello won. Near had been the one L had chosen, so if Mello figured it out before him, L would have chosen the wrong person, and therefore lost. No, the only way to make sure L wasn't a loser in the game of Kira was to make sure N won.
But saying that aloud would sound too sentimental. Mello would be infuriated, and he didn't really want to confront the other boy. The director wouldn't know what to do, but it was quite possible he'd lose some faith in L's successor. No, it was best if he acted cold.
He placed another card, his hand steady even as the questions of Kira burned a path through his mind, motivated by revenge for someone he wasn't supposed to see as a father figure.
Another card, placed at an angle. Then another along-side it. How was he going to prove Light was Kira? His hands were unnervingly steady as he continued to build his pile, his eyes revealing absolutely nothing. He wasn't really nervous. He knew he'd win, and he knew how he'd do it—by outsmarting Kira. He just had to figure out the specifics.
At the top of the pile, he placed a chipped card he used to represent L.
AN: A drabble 50% impossible in either manga or anime, but do I care? Nope, new headcannon. I don't know, it's just something that came to mind while I was thinking about Near.