We Are Done Talking
A follow up to Star Struck Victim and my take on the promos for Manhattan Transfer. None of the characters are mine.
Barba set his empty scotch glass down on the bar and motioned for the bartender to refill it. His only thought was trying to quiet all of the voices yelling in his head. Over the years he had become an expert at keeping his emotions in check. A distant logical approach helped him be good at his job. When he got overly emotionally involved it caused him to miss things. He needed to be able to stand back and observe from a distance that's how he could formulate his plans. Even working with SVU he took that approach, he had to, when he didn't things didn't go well. This was why he was sitting alone in this bar throwing back scotch trying to forget about the last few weeks. Especially the words they had said to each other in his office earlier. She had stormed out of his office in tears, tears that he had caused.
He shook his head thought, "If she would just listen to me sometimes, she could avoid these situations."
He shook his head as he finished his second glass. She lived life and made decisions based on this internal moral compass she had. It's what made her a great advocate for victims but it was also what got her in trouble so many times. Just like when he begged her not to name Johnny D as Noah's birth father but she insisted it was the right thing to do. He had learned over the years that once she that moral compass of hers was pointed in a direction there was no changing it, even if it cost her. That's what made him angry the fact that she wouldn't look out for herself more.
He waved the bartender off when he came to refill his glass. Barba knew too much scotch and his current mood would not mix well. He wondered where she was now. Had she gone home to Noah? Or had she done what he suggested she do. God, he hoped she hadn't. Why on earth had he said that to her? He was just so angry at her and scared for her future.
"Why don't you go find Tucker then?" Were the last words he had said before she slammed his office door.
Now he had visions of her running to Tucker. He hated himself at that moment. She had come to him scared and vulnerable and he had sent her away. Like so many things over the last couple of weeks he wished he could change that.
Two Weeks earlier
"So what are you going to do about Rollins?" He asked her over breakfast at the diner around the corner from the precinct.
Liv took a sip of her coffee and shook her head. "She didn't leak the video." She told him.
Barba raised an eyebrow at her suspiciously. "And you believe that because?"
"Credible information." She said not wanting to talk about it.
"Liv, are you telling me that you have information of who leaked that video and aren't doing anything about it?" He asked praying that wasn't the case.
Olivia took a bite of her eggs, "Let's not talk about it Barba."
"Liv, you are on very dangerous ground here. Tell me now what you know and we can figure something out." He asked her reaching across the table covering her free hand with his.
Her brown eyes looked up at him but she made no effort to move her hand away. They had become increasing affectionate lately, which was probably also dangerous ground. His eyes were locked on hers as he felt her thumb rub rub along the side of his hand.
"I can't Barba, you have to trust me." She told him her eyes begging him to let it go. Something neither of them was very good at.
"Liv, don't do this. Don't sacrifice your career for her or whoever did this." He said giving her hand a brief squeeze.
"It's not going to come to that." She said shaking her head pulling her hand away from his.
He immediately missed the feel of her touch and he looked down at his watch, "I've got to get to court, please let me help you Liv." He asked again.
She shook her head, "I've got it covered." She told him, "Good luck in court."
Barba picked the check up off the table, "I've got this, you coming?"
Liv shook her head, "Actually, I've got a quick meeting with someone else." She told him.
Barba nodded as he turned to leave, "Be careful who you let have your back Liv."
Olivia rolled her eyes at him, "I can take care of myself Barba."
He offered her a crooked smile, "I've need doubted that Lieutenant" he said as he walked away.
He felt a knot form in his stomach when he passed Ed Tucker coming into the diner. The man was a snake of he ever met one. Yes he had gotten Liv safely out of that townhouse but Barba knew that he would sell Liv out in a second if it meant helping himself or the department. He prayed he wasn't who she was trusting with whatever she knew.
Two weeks later there were still a few questions about the video but for the most part people had moved on. Until they got that tip about the sex party with under aged girls, a very selfish part of him wished she had never gotten that tip. Yes, they had rescued the girls and exposed a corruption ring unlike anything the city had seen before. They had brought down council men, lawyers, cops, and a judge, however you can't bring down that much power and not get burnt yourself.
He had gotten the call ten minutes before showed up in his office. They wanted the DA's office to investigate the possibility of bringing formal charges against her. He knew already charges were a reach he knew what they were really after revenge and her badge. She had taken on the wrong people one to many times and this time they had something to use against her, that damn video.
He opened his office door prepared to go find the ADA who would be handling the investigation. He wasn't going to let her go down without fighting for her. There she stood looking in a state of shock.
"I didn't know where else to go." She said walking into his office as he stepped aside and closed the door.
"Liv, we can't talk about this now." He said empathetically at first.
"So now you are turning on me too?" She asked coldly.
"Don't you do that to me." He said the grip on his emotions quickly falling away.
"I need someone to listen to me to hear my side of the story" She pleaded with him.
"I tried to get you to tell me two weeks ago, remember? You told me that you could handle it. Then you went a trusted Tucker with it didn't you?" He said his voice getting louder.
"I needed someone who I thought would understand, someone I thought would have my back."
"What in our history would make you think I wouldn't have your back and what in your history with Tucker would make you think he would?" He yelled.
"I had to tell him that it was Dodds, I thought he would know what I should do about it, and instead he used it against me." She said fighting back the tears.
"Olivia, I cannot hear this, you and I are done talking." He told her trying to calm his voice as his own tears started to form.
"See, I was right to not try and tell you to begin with, you don't care." She spat at him turning to leave.
"Fine then why don't you go find Tucker, he's done such a good job of being there for you." He yelled as she reached for the door turning back to look at him one last time with tears streaming down her face.
The vision of her standing at his office door crying wouldn't leave his head. He needed to go find her. They would figure this out together; he didn't care what is cost him he just wanted to know that she was all right.
He tossed his money down on the bar and put on his coat and was about to head for her apartment when his phone buzzed. He read the text from Finn.
Thought you would want to know Liv made a deal with IAB six week suspension, effective immediately. She's packing up her personal things from her office now.
"Damn it" he said as he turned to head for the precinct.
When he arrived all of the lights were off except for her office, she has sent her entire team home not wanting them there while she did this. She didn't hear him come in.
"Hi" he said softly his heartbreaking when she looked up at him with bloodshot eyes and fresh tear marks on her face.
"Come to yell at me some more? Or tell me again what bad judgment I have?" She asked bitterly.
He walked around her desk and took her nameplate out of her hand and set it back down, "I came because I thought you could use a friend." He said noticing this time she took her hand out of his immediately.
"I needed a friend a few hours ago Barba, apparently I don't have any these days." She said her voice cold.
"Liv, I'm sorry I yelled at you but I legally couldn't hear what you wanted to tell me then. It would have gotten us both in more trouble." He said hoping to make her understand.
"Well, I certainly don't want to get you in trouble counselor."
"Liv, that's not what I mean and you know it." He said trying once again to keep his emotions in check.
"All I know is that I came to you when I needed you and you sent me away." She said the tears falling again.
At that moment there was no controlling his emotions as he pulled her to himself, "I'm here now and I'm sorry." He whispered.
She gave into his words and his touch and let her body go limp in his arms and the tears fell on his coat and he ran his hands over his hair, "I'm so sorry Liv, I promise I will never send you away when you need me again."
She regained control of her emotions and leaned back up and looked at him not moving out of his arms. "I'm sorry I told Tucker instead of you, not just because of how it worked out, but because it hurt you."
He moved on hand from the around her and wiped tears from her face, "I just want you to understand I'm here for you Liv, you can trust me. I don't always agree with how you see things but I will always hear you out and I will always tell you the truth."
She shook her head and smiled the first smile he had seen from her in over a week, "I know you will."
"I have to ask Liv, you and Tucker was there something else there?" He wasn't sure if he wanted the answer but he knew he needed it.
She smiled at him again, "No Counselor, if I am going to have something with someone it's got to be someone who will hear me out even if he doesn't understand me and then tell me the truth, even if it means we fight about things along the way."
When she said that he didn't even question what she was saying, this time he understood he perfectly. He pulled her closer to himself with the arm that was still holding her and placed his other hand back on her face as he pressed his lips against hers. When she didn't pull back he deepened the kiss until he remembered they were in her office.
"I think I know someone who fits that description if you are willing to give it a try." He whispered breathlessly.
She placed another kiss on his lips before saying, "Well it appears my calendar is suddenly free for the next six weeks if he wants to try."
He let go of her and turned to pick up one of her boxes, "Come on, we can pick up dinner on the way to your place." He said with a smile.
She smiled back at him and thought, maybe the next six weeks won't be so bad.
The End