Title: Sorry
Author: Adrian Jade
Summary: John Cena had it all but in the wake of an unspeakable tragedy everything will be tested. Can he make it through or will he be sucked into the blackness.
A/N: I wanna thank my friend Sadie for talking to me while I wrote this. I would also like to say RIP AJ you will be missed.
John Cena stared at his reflection in the mirror. Taking in his bloodshot eyes with the huge black bags underneath them. It had been almost 2 weeks since he had been able to get a proper night's sleep. Taking in a few ragged breaths , he held onto the sides of that bathroom sink so hard his knuckles were white. He needed the support right now. His legs were weak and he felt as if he would collapse at any moment. He splashed some cool water on his face before turning to leave. He let all of his emotions go as he was greeted by a throng of people. All wearing the same expression, John had become a collector of looks recently and the ones that he was getting from everyone was of saddened confusion. What could they possibly tell him that would make him feel any better? Nothing … nothing at all could make him feel better at this point in time.
"We are so sorry John" Stephanie McMahon wiped a few tears from her eyes. Her husband nodded as if to let John know he was in agreement.
"Thanks guys" John replied tiredly.
He was sick and tired of hearing I'm sorry. I was so cliché and at the same time it did nothing to help him at all. He wished they would just tell him the truth … that they were relieved that this unimaginable tragedy had happened to someone else but themselves.
"I have to get back to my wife now" he excused himself.
He didn't have to go far to find her, she was right where he thought she would be. The open window curtains cast shadows against the baby blue walls. A light breeze rolled in from the open windows and there was a hint of the sea in the air.
"Are there still people here?" she asked with her back to him.
"Yeah babe there are" he replied wrapping his arms around her much smaller frame.
"I wish everyone would just stop" she threw up her hands in frustration. He let go of her and she paced over to the other side of the room. She picked up a light blue blanket that had been thrown to the ground at one point or another. She sighed before bringing the blanket up to her face. She took in his smell, with trembling fingers she folded the blanket making sure the embroidered side was showing. Placing the blanket back on the shelf where it was supposed to be.
"No matter how many people say they are sorry AJ is never coming back" he could hear the hopelessness in her voice.
"Ash I know this is hard …" she cut him off.
"Of course it's hard John our son passed away there is nothing easy about this" he wasn't sure what to do. He wanted to hug his wife and tell her everything was going to be ok. But part of him didn't believe it would be. Asher John Cena had been both his parents whole world but he was gone now.
He wanted to tell her that he was angry the doctors hadn't done more to help their son. He wanted to tell her how helpless he felt watching their son take his last breaths of life. Or that he felt abandoned and alone. AJ's death was so pointless and underserved. Their son had only started his life to have it so suddenly taken away from him.
"I'm sorry" was all he could find himself saying. He was sorry for not being a better parent. For not catching his son's illness sooner. For not fighting harder or urging the doctors to try different methods of treatment. God he was sorry for so many things.
He felt moisture against his cheeks, he hadn't even realized that he had started crying. He was supposed to be the strong one and here he was crying. He mentally berated himself.
His wife just stood there watching him. She looked into his eyes and could see that they were twins to her own tired eyes.
She walked over to him and wrapped her arms around him "I'm sorry too". She was just as sorry as he was.
There they stood in the pinnacle of despair. Loosing a child was never in the plan for them and it hurt like hell. But AJ wouldn't want to be mourned, he would want to be remembered as the bright and happy baby he once was. Those last few moments were erased from his grieving parents memory and as hard as it was for them they would remember the good times they had with their little boy. There would always be an empty space in their hearts where AJ's memory would always be. But they weren't alone and together they would help each other out of the darkness and into the sunlight. They had a rough road ahead of them but as long as they had their memories they would be ok. They had to be. AJ was gone and that was something that they couldn't ignore. But they hoped with time it would hurt a little less and they could move on with their lives. But only time would be able to tell.