Miss Casting
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Looney Tunes characters, nor do I own the characters of Ranma 1/2.
. . . "Sssufferin' Ssuccotash!" Sylvester complained as he fitted the cantaloupes in the front of the Chinese dress, "Why do I get ssstuck as the one with the ssspeech impediment?"
. . . Bugs dried himself off, and wondered, for the hundredth time, why he agreed to take this job. He knew why, as he put on a confident expression, "Sylvester, nobody else could!"
. . . "Really?"
. . . Bugs thought he had that brush fire under control, When am I going to learn?
. . . "At weast youw have wines," Tweety complained, "Aw I sayw is 'Oh my', and cook things."
. . . "Oh, I can fix that!" Sylvester moved about a foot, when a duck shaped child's potty bounced off his head.
. . . "None of that," Daffy approached, covered in pancake make up, with a long black wig and white robes.
. . . "Gee. Thanks," Bugs said begrudgingly.
. . . "Oh course, Bugsy old boy, the show must go on," Daffy was having a very good time.
. . . "You want to take over?" Bugs asked.
. . . Daffy walked away smiling, "Oh no, I could never do the job you're doing."
. . . Bugs could see the horns poking up out of Daffy's head as he laughed evilly. The real sting of it, was Bugs had done it to himself. With the regular cast almost all in quarantine, he'd been talked into taking this job. Hoist by my own petard, and Daffy's loving every second of it.
. . . "Ah, say, ah say," Foghorn Leghorn approached, glaring at the phony mustache, "I believe, I say I believe my part is miscast. All I, I say all I do is cry. This is an insult, sir. A thespian, a thespian sir, is what I am."
. . . "Allow me," Wiley Coyote already had his page boy wig and ledger book. He took Foghorn aside. A moment later Foghorn sniffed, then burst into tears, sobbing as he walked off.
. . . "The Yankees won, again. You, owe me," Wiley told Bugs, licking his lips with relish.
. . . "He's really getting into his part," Bugs said, remembering the crazy coyote's eagerness, when he learn that his was the only character who didn't regularly get hit.
. . . "Mr. Diwector, sir." A quiet voice behind him.
. . . Bugs turned, and had to look up at Elmer, "I dwon't think this is working," Elmer tottered on the stilts he needed for the part, hidden by the costume, he was also having trouble with the bokken, "Couwn't I just use my gun?"
. . . "Fuddsy, you had no problem with a spear and magic helmet," Bugs explained, "You'll have no problem with this." Bugs realized the real problem, "All the poetry is in the script, you just have to say your lines."
. . . Elmer brightened, bowed, and wound up on the floor as he fell off the stilts.
. . . "Meester Director?"
. . . Bugs looked down at Speedy Gonzales.
. . . "I can not move so fast with thees heavy load," the mouse explained.
. . . "Imagine you can redeem the underwear for cheese," Daffy suggested smugly.
. . . "CHEESE! Arreba! Arreba! Adele! EE ha!" speed lines marked the solution to another problem.
. . . "You are having too much fun, duck."
. . . "Ain't I a stinker?" Daffy turned to the assembled cast, did a bit of mental arithmetic, "We're missing some people."
. . . "Akane Tendo will be over to help us later, she doesn't become an animal, so she wasn't quarantined," Bugs explained.
. . . "So you took the starring role yourself?" Daffy accused.
. . . "Of course not!" Bugs threatened Daffy with a baker's peel, "There was only one person truly qualified."
. . . "And sir, who, I say who could that be?" Foghorn and the others approached, clearly angry they'd been passed over for the starring role.
. . . Bugs braced himself, he knew what was coming, knew he'd be caught up in it. He snapped his fingers. The room exploded.
. . . As the dust settled, the redheaded whirlwind opened her mouth, removed a damp and bedraggled Tweety, "Ka su mi okay?" Taz asked the bird, "Ran ma have hot water?" he considered, as if remembering, "Please."
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