Breaking News: Fanfic HQ Up in Flames

"It was a beautiful, sunny day in Shuggazoom City," called out the clear, strong voice of the purple narrator fairy. He air was a long, sunny violet, her wings a light lavender. Her dress was indigo, and her skin was a pale lilac. "The clouds were puffy and beautiful, the sun was shining, the water was glistening… yes, it was the perfect day for a picnic, something everyone on Shuggazoom seemed to agree to. The parks were full, it would be great luck for the Hyper Force to find—"

"Wait!1!" a pink narrator fairy interjected. She had hot pink hair, pale pink wings, cotton-candy colored skin, and a fluffy, electric pink dress. "Brianna, u, like, cn't strt w/o me!" she said indignantly, with a high-pitched, annoying voice. She was smacking down on a thick wad of bubblegum as well.

Brianna rubbed her eyebrows. I thought she called in today! I don't want to work with her again… she totally botched up my last fic! "Breezy!" she greeted with a fake smile on her face. "I thought you weren't coming in today!"

The pink fairy shrugged. "I totally missed my bus! Can u believe someone, like, snuck in and switched the times?!"

"No… I can't believe it…"

"Srsly! Anyways, I'm here now! We can totally strt… wat?! Hyper Force not getting to picnic?! Not on my watch!" the pink fairy puffed out her cheeks, calling the magic into her fingers. "Suddenly, it strtd 2, like, snow!"

"It doesn't snow in Shuggazoom, Breezy," Brianna said gently. "Remember? We watched Snowbound yesterday…"

Breezy glared at her. "If it doesn't snow, the Hyper Force don't get to picnic! And THE HYPER FORCE WILL PICNIC!"

Brianna put her hands up, surrendering. "Fine. For some strange reason, it began to snow in Shuggazoom. Perhaps the times were changing, or perhaps a villain was up to some sort of scheme, but anyway, the snow began to fall…"

"Except 4, like, one beautiful hilltop, conveniently close to the Super Robot…"

Brianna rolled her eyes.

The Shuggazoomians glared up at the sky, picking up their picnic supplies and piling them in the baskets. They all marched indoors, upset about a perfect day, ruined. Each sent longing glances towards the only free spot.

However, each knew the danger of disobeying the pink fairy's wishes. None of them wanted to end up like the Lost Family of Shuggazoom who had disobeyed the pink fairy… none of them were ever seen again…

"Sprx, Nova, Chiro, and Jinmay had just finished packing up their supplies for a lovely double date picnic on the pretty hill by the Super Robot," the purple fairy continued, trying to ignore the biting cold she hadn't dressed for.

"Only, like, jst as they sat dwn, Nova and Jinmay were totally kidnapped by SK!" the pink fairy chirped, watching as two fluffy, pink Formless materialized out of thin air and grabbed the two girls. As suddenly as they had appeared, they disappeared taking Nova and Jinmay with them.

"Breezy," the purple fairy said as patiently as possible, knowing that the girl had just recently gotten out of Fanfic College and was serving as an intern, "the Formless cannot be fluffy and pink."

"Can 2!1111! It's like, half my story, so I can totally do wat I want! U were assigned 2 wrk w/ me, so u hve to deal w/ it!"

Brianna sighed, deciding the moment they got back to headquarters, she was lodging a complaint or three hundred, and then taking a two week vacation. "Fine. But must they be fluffy?"

"YESSSS!" Breezy crowed. "They myst b pink n fluffy, n SK totally haz 2 wear a pink tiara, tutu, and his staff haz turned in2 a fairy wand! Ooh, let'z give him wingz 2!11!"

Brianna rubbed her temples. "Fine," she said, between clenched teeth. "Chiro and Sprx immediately rushed back to the Super Robot—"

"Wen Mandarin – wearing gangsta clothes – stops them, wanting them 2 listen 2 his newest rap song!" Breezy squealed, giggling behind her hands.

Brianna raised an eyebrow. "Really?" she asked dryly. "Don't you think it's a little suspicious if Mandarin walks up to them and asks for them to listen to a rap song?"

Breezy frowned. "My stry, my rulez! If you don't do it, I'll throw the biggest tantrum ever!"

Brianna took a deep, cleansing breath. "Of course. Chiro and Sprx immediately suspect—"

"NO!11!" she screeched. "They suspect nothing! Cn't you du anything right?!"

"Apparently not," Brianna said dryly, three seconds away from quitting. Her jaw began to hurt from how tightly it was clenched. "Breezy, you're disobeying all of the fanfic rules…"

Breezy snorted. "Wat r u on about? I slept thru those classes! Dn't u no that u can du anything on fanfics?! Gosh, Bri…"

Brianna groaned. "Breezy, you can't do whatever you want-"

Breezy narrowed her eyes. "I totally can. My world, my rules!"

"That's original fiction… This is someone else's-"

Breezy snorted. "You sound so boring! Gosh, I thought I graduated! All those rules don't mean nothin! You've been doing it wrong, Bri!"

Brianna groaned. "I am not staying around and getting arrested because of you!" she buzzed her wings and headed for the door in one of the clouds.

"Take us with you!" all of Shuggazoom called behind her, while Breezy glared daggers at the purple fairy. She shrugged. "Oh well, guess I'll just get back to my job! Silly Bri…" the pink fairy turned back to the horrified citizens of Shuggazoom as Brianna headed up to the CEO of Fanfic HQ.

The next morning in the world of the fairies, the newscast aired a particularly tragic story, about a fire at Fanfic HQ...

"Hello! Brinda here, covering the story of why the Fanfic HQ went up in flames! I have with me here the purple narrator fairy, Brianna, who was once the top narrator for Fanfiction. What changed, Brianna?" a yellow fairy greeted brightly. She had blonde hair, light golden skin, pale yellow wings, and a daisy yellow dress.

"It all started when I started training this new recruit. She had complete disregard for the fanfiction rules. Of course, I tried to talk sense into her, but when she didn't see reason, I immediately went up to HQ to report her.

"Well, I made the mistake of leaving her in the Realm – I knew better of course, but I was just so frustrated with her! We were both fired, of course, but Breezy – the recruit – didn't take it as well as I did…" she gestures to the ashes of HQ, a forlorn look in her eyes.

"Is Breezy often like this?"

"She would often threaten the characters," Brianna nods. "I always got after her, but the moment I would turn my back, she would do something horrible to them! It was plainly character abuse!"

Thanks, Brianna. And now, with the culprit herself, Breezy! Breezy, what would bring you to such a heinous act of burning down the Fanfic HQ?

Breezy smacked her gum. "Well, y'see, their motto is "Whole worlds under your control!" yet, they come up with all these stupid rules! I decided to do something about it." A particularly unsettling grin flashes across her face, while a dangerous twinkle appears in her eyes.

"You do understand that this act has landed you an even longer sentence here in jail, correct?"

Breezy snarled at me. "WHAT?! MORE STUPID RULES?!"

The pink fairy slams her body against the bars, flames surrounding her as she tried to bring down the cement police building.

Brinda slowly backs away, giving an edgy smile to the camera. "Well, that's todays breaking news story! Stay tuned, here comes Carlie with the weather…"

Tauria: So! That's my entry for the week of terrible fics... was supposed to post Wednesday, but the internet went out... Kinda nervous about this one! I'm not sure if this is quite what I'm supposed to do or not, but -shrug-