Chapter one: Sorrow taking over

Dear Journal, I'm Liz Parker and as I continue survive the days that pass by, I realize, my sorrow is taking over me. It's taking over me and it has everything to do with this secret I carry. This secret that belongs to aliens to whom which I've bonded with. To whom which I have learned to love. I look back on what all of us have been through and am again reminded we've lost and gave up things so important for reasons already known. Especially myself. I find myself asking at times, how long will this go on? Will I ever have the chance of a normal life? Which is something I definitely need. Will I lose the last best friend I have? Will Max Evans hurt me again? By his betrayal the one person I love with my whole soul took a piece of me when he gave himself to her. She who murdered Alex, one of the best by my side who loved life to the fullest. I can't believe he loved her. Someone like that. It makes me sick. I know he'd risk everything for me, that he loves me that much. But it still hurts. It nearly killed me to see the pain in his eyes when he saw the supposed scene with Kyle the day I hate so much. I wish he knew the truth. As much as what he saw hurts him I can't help but remind myself what he entrusted me with is making me hurt too. Yet at the same time I'm so thankful for knowing, because its what brought everyone involved closer together than ever and in a way it made my life better. It led me to get to be with Max Evans who I'll die for any day and who is the reason I'm still breathing. I just didn't realize it would come with such a huge price Tto pay. This is tearing me up inside and I'm scared. So much has happened and it's making me fade. By my hurt I'm being eaten away slowly beneath this exterior. I'm supposed to be strong, the one with a plan, the one who has everything under control, but I can't help but feel this way. What happens if I am again caught off guard? Can I withstand more pain? More agony? Will I break? I have this feeling that won't go away. I feel something threatening is going to happen. Something bad coming this way. That whole gang wil l be greatly affected, but most of all myself. Because I'll be the target. Deep down inside myself I know it has everything to do with this secret I carry.