Disclaimer: I do not own bleach. This is a drabble based off an episode of Beavis and Butthead, That I saw on youtube
Sex Ed
Renji and Ichigo just got back to class from the principal's office. They had just pulled yet another prank on the teacher. This time they set her wig on fire. The principle said they had gone too far and they'd be expelled, Ichigo and Renji pleaded with the principle and begged forgiveness and not to expel them. The principles had a big heart so he gave them another chance but there was a catch … Ichigo and Renji could not laugh in class for the next week or else they'll be sent to an alternative school and get their asses kicked everyday. The principal put all he told them into a note format and sent it on with them both to give to their next teacher CAPTAIN KUCHIKI
"Okay Renji no matter what this class is about no laughing or else" Ichigo said to his partner in crime
"Oh whatever ya don't have to tell me twice" Renji said rolling his eyes. The class got quiet as Captain Kuchiki enters the classroom.
"Alright students the note from the principal has informed me that Renji and Ichigo cannot laugh for the next week or else expulsion, well that's a good thing because this week is" he paused for dramatic effect "SEX ED WEEK" he continues. Renji and Ichigo snicker.
"Hey no snickering asshole, you'll expel us" Ichigo said elbowing Renji
"Shut up Dick weed you snickered too" He said throwing a paper ball at Ichigo. Byakuya continued.
"And just so we're all clear we will be talking about the PENIS". Renji and Ichigo start snicker but kept it under control
"Also we'll talk about the VAGINA". Byakuya continued without missing a beat. Ichigo and Renji's eyes were welling up. it was so funny to hear captain Kuchiki say the names of genitals.
"Does it amuse you Renji that we'll be discussing TESTICLES". They two off them were biting their lips and clenching their teeth to stop themselves from being hysterical
"And we'll be having a whole unit on MASTERBATION" By this time Renji and Ichigo were about to die laughing they couldn't hang in there much longer. They both praying in their mind "Please don't say anything else Captain Kuchiki".
"Now to take roll" He began. Ichigo and Renji sighed of relief.
"GAYLORD!" Oh god no Ichigo and Renji thought
"Gaylord is there a Gay-lord in here" he repeated. The boys were blue in the face from suppressing a laugh. Suddenly the door flung open and in came a classmate.
"I'm so sorry Captain Kuchiki" he guys said scrambling to his seat.
"You should be, Mister Bate you walk into class 15 minutes late like you're royalty, Like You're Master Bate". Ichigo and Renji were both on edge trying to keep it in.
"Resuming roll BUTTKISS". Renji and Ichigo were banging their heads on their on their desk so they'd shut up.
"Oh and I forgot to tell you I have all your projects on the PUSSYWILLOW"-
"AHHHH WE CAN'T TAKE IN ANYMORE!" They shouted in unison as laughter filled the class.
"Not even 20 minutes into it and you laughed" Captain Kuchiki mused snapping his fingers. In walked in the school escorts.
"No! Don't send us to alternative school" Ichigo pleaded through laughter
"I don't wanna get butt raped" Renji pleaded
"Eww! We're going to alternative school not prison, ass" Ichigo said annoyed
"There are still rapists in alternative school" Renji pouted.
"Aww you Gay ass" Ichigo says disgusted, thus starting a quarrel as the two were dragged of to alternative school and were beaten and butt raped … nah just kidding there were just beaten senseless
Thanx 4 reading please review!